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Top 10 Facts About Mail-Order Brides

Jamie Frater . . . Comments

Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who publishes her intent to marry someone from another – usually more financially developed – country. Historically, mail-order brides were women who listed themselves in catalogs and were selected by men for marriage. Sometimes the men and women involved were citizens of different countries, e.g. women from European countries moving to the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries, and sometimes they involved citizens of the same country. This list looks at ten facts about mail order brides that you may not know.

10

The Sweet Escape

Mail-Order-Brides3

Most people think that Russian brides are desperate women who want nothing more than to marry a foreigner (preferably American) to get the hell out of Russia and start a new life. But in fact, this is almost always incorrect. Russia has a man shortage; there are roughly 8 men for every 10 women in a culture which is very marriage-oriented. Consequently, many Russian women are compelled to look outside of Russia for a husband. As one mail order bride company says: “[Russian Brides] feel as if you were one of the guys who would approach her at a bar: where she can say, “yes” if she likes you, and “thanks, but no, thanks” if she doesn’t.”

9

Dangers Involved

Cover14

Being a mail-order bride can be very dangerous. There are at least four recent cases of American men murdering (sometimes quite brutally) their mail-order bride. But it does go both ways: there is also a case of a mail-order bride murdering her American husband. Before involving yourself in the mail order marriage industry, it pays to really consider the reasons behind your future wife or husband using this method to find their partner for life. You might get lucky and meet someone leaving their home country for the reasons cited in item 10, but you might be one of the unlucky ones who ends up dead. here is the description of just one such case:

Anastasia King, a young woman from Kyrgyzstan, was found strangled and buried in a shallow grave in Washington state in December 2000. At the age of 18, Anastasia had received an email from a 38-year-old Seattle man, Indle King, from a mail order bride website. He flew to her country and they were married soon after. Two years later, after considerable strife, Indle wanted another bride. He was allegedly unwilling to pay for a divorce so he ordered a tenant in their Washington home to kill Anastasia. Weighing nearly 300 pounds, her husband pinned Anastasia down while the tenant strangled her with a necktie. Both were convicted of murder.


8

Divorce Rates

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The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “… mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.”

7

American Frontier

Hearts West Woman

The concept of mail-order brides was first seen on the American frontier during the mid-1800s. Men from the East were migrating West in hopes of claiming land, farming, establishing businesses, and finding gold. Most of these men found financial success in the migration West, but the one thing that was missing was the company of a wife. Very few women lived in the West at this time, so it was hard for these men to settle down and start a family. Their only choice was to attract women living back East; the men wrote letters to churches and published personal advertisements in magazines and newspapers. In return, the women would write to the men and send them photographs of themselves.


6

How To Meet

Mail-Order-Brides2

At least two types of “international marriage agencies” exist. The first type sells female clients’ contact information and encourages men and women to correspond prior to meeting. The second type offers “group tours” for men who want to travel around a foreign country and meet up to a hundred women at social events organized by the agency. If an American male wishes to use the first type, they must supply mental health information and criminal history, and, if they do make a match, will eventually be required to meet the bride in person before she can obtain a US visa.

5

Strange Education

Gilman

Johns Hopkins University offers a course called “Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context” which is supposedly a deep look into Filipino kinship and gender. Why a person would want to study this subject is beyond me, but there must be at least a small amount of demand out there.


4

Unfriendly Attitudes

Screen Shot 2010-02-17 At 3.10.58 Pm

Since 2003 Australian Federal Government’s resolve to decrease what was deemed ‘inappropriate immigration’ by then-Prime Minister John Howard has gained momentum. Initial reactions to the program were mixed. The Australian public further embraced their government’s new policies following the media frenzy of the Jana Klintoukh case; this case first exploded into the public’s view when current events program, Today Tonight, aired footage of a young Russian-born Australian, claiming she was imported via an Internet site and was used as a sexual slave by her ‘husband’ while being confined to his Sydney home.

3

Mail Order Husbands

Roger-Pe-Anti-Mail-Order-Bride-Stamp-Ad

The Philippines prohibits the business of organizing or facilitating marriages between Filipinas and foreign men. The Philippine congress enacted Republic Act 6955 or the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law in 1990 as a result of stories that appeared in the local press and media about Filipinas being abused by their foreign husbands. Because of this, Filipinas often use “reverse publications” – publications in which men advertise themselves – to contact foreign men for marriage on behalf of the Filipina women.


2

Big Profits

National Geographic E-Mail Order Bride 1

There is a lot of money to be made in the mail order bride industry. In Taiwan, mail-order brides are sourced primarily from Mainland China and Southeast Asia, especially Vietnam. The common age range for Vietnam women range from 20 to 28 years of age. On average, Taiwanese men spend USD $10,000 on this type of marriage; however, only USD $500 to USD $1,000 dollars will be received by the bride’s family and the remainder taken by marriage brokers of the groom and the bride. That is a damn high profit margin.

1

Dishonest Marketing

Natasha Albums

On November 18, 2004, a federal jury in Baltimore, Maryland awarded Ukrainian mail-order bride Nataliya Fox $433,500 ($341,000 of which were punitive damages) against international marriage broker Encounters International and its Russian immigrant owner, Natasha Spivack (pictured above). Spivack arranged Nataliya’s marriage to an American man with a history of violently abusing women and who, after being matched with Nataliya, abused her over the course of their marriage. The jury found the marriage broker guilty of fraud, unfair and deceptive trade practices, willful and wanton negligence, unauthorized appropriation of Ms. Fox’s name and likeness, and defamation. The jury found the mail order bride company (Natasha Spivak) liable for failing to tell Nataliya about a federal law that allows foreign nationals to escape abusive marriages without fear of automatic deportation, and for actively misleading her about her legal options. The jury also found EI (Natasha Spivak) liable for misrepresenting that it screened male clients when it did not; and publicizing Nataliya’s marriage to Mr. Fox as an EI “success” story, without her permission, even after she fled to a domestic violence shelter.

Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. Text is derived from Wikipedia.

Jamie Frater

Jamie is the owner and chief-editor of Listverse. He spends his time working on the site, doing research for new lists, and collecting oddities. He is fascinated with all things historic, creepy, and bizarre.

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  • Vikram

    Ugh…this concept is disgusting.

    • Bob

      No what's disgusting is American women and the way they treat men in any level of a relationship.

      • randy

        i couldnt agree more i have a few friends that have gone this way and they couldnt be happier american women are a pain in the ass

        • whatevs

          Sure, I can see how it would be annoying to have to deal with women who don’t wait on you hand and foot and think that your flabby beer belly is worth pretending to orgasm over for the price of citizenship.

          I’m not even an American woman, but there has to be a reason why no young, intelligent, or attractive men seem to have mail-order prides. Seems to be exclusively for middle-aged, ugly mysoginists.

          • soulreaper

            ditto, it’s pathetic :/

          • slyguy434

            @whatevs, I have to disagree. I’m a 29 year old male, fairly attractive, no criminal record, and working on my master’s degree while holding a full time job. I’ve met women at bars, churches, concerts, sporting events, a supermarket, school, and online dating. Speaking from experience, women do not have their priorities straight anymore. Typically what I see is that a woman will fall for some guy who spends all his money on tattoos and trucks and all his time focusing on himself in some regard. They eventually get married, she has two kids, and then they get divorced. After that, THEN that woman will start looking for a guy who has his act together financially and mentally. I understand that by saying this, I may come off as a woman-hater, and that is certainly not the case. I will disrespect a stupid woman just as quickly as I will disrespect a stupid man. I’m not the only person that feels like this either.

            So with that said about my experience with american women, I genuinely am considering outsourcing to a mail-order bride. That way, I can finally start a family and be done with dating.

          • Jermaine

            Ha ha check and mate.

          • I agree with slyguy434. I’m done with it all, however. I’m happy being single, celibate, love my career, and my best buds. I’m keeping it that way and letting someone find me even if it takes longer or doesn’t happen at all. At least I am happy with my life for once as opposed to my foolish college puppy love that resulted in no kids or marriage thank the maker.

          • RealTalk

            I am an AMERICAN MAN and I’m married to an AMERICAN WOMAN. I have a child with that AMERICAN WOMAN and we are VERY HAPPY. HOWEVER, as a military brat and a veteran, I have lived ALL OVER THE WORLD and I must say, I agree with Bob and SlyGuy434. NON-AMERICAN WOMEN treat relationships and the men they’re in those relationships with at a much higher regard, on average, then AMERICA WOMEN. I was lucky and I had to date a lot of women before I found a woman who was willing to do what is necessary for us to both be happy in our relationship, esp since I’d been in relationships with NON-AMERICAN WOMEN and the bar was set high. I thought the whole mail order bride thing was a myth or a cover for some kind of illegal activity, but if it is legit, I might have to tell some of my single friends to check it out…..cause AMERICAN WOMEN are CRAZY! lol

          • tonymonopoly

            wrong im attractive and i have no american wonderful gf. probably because there is no wonderful american woman.

      • dontlikeurcomment

        lol? that is so vague and also doesnt even qualify for a stereotype because its nowhere close to true. ur just mad because u cant get a woman without paying for her.

  • zi0n

    im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!

    • thinkpad

      i know what you mean. they can't speak good english too so i have no idea how they understand each other.

      • Mind your own business

        “can’t speak good english”…

        You don’t either, and yet I can understand you.

        Frankly to all the naysayers….mind your own business. Who are you to judge others? Is your life perfect and beyond all reproach? I doubt it.

        Finding a suitable partner is hard enough without having to worry if other people will approve. I have a friend who married a black woman…his family freaked out; but years later they love her. I have a Jewish friend who married a Muslim woman….his family freaked out; but years later they love her.

        • Nick

          MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

    • thesickreality

      LOL. very true. most couples have a huge age gap between them. I once saw a girl in her early 20’s in the arms of an old american….really old one.

    • djC

      Yeah the only reason ugly Filipinas marry a foreigner is because of the money. And now many white people think it Filipina are submissive women. Who is so submissive then eh?

  • Manda

    Very interesting list, and I am surprised that a lot of these marriages do in fact work!

    • Don

      They work because they are real women and Ameriskanks like you cannot compete with them.

      • marki

        Ouch, projecting much?

  • mom424

    Excellent list. I actually know a few men with mail-order brides. Uniformly the Filipino women are subservient to the men; at least the ones I met. Certainly seems as if they want a servant as much as a wife. Although it might be a fairish trade – I do know that the men do send money home to the in-laws, and a few of them have set up second homes.

    I only know one Russian Bride – now a young rich widow. Now I understand why she married the weird old geezer.

    • djC

      The reason ugly Filipinas marry foreigners is because of money. Any hot looking girls from my country would not marry just random guy they met online and be subservient

  • ronsantohof

    The number one thing to remember: Make sure you get a mail-order bride and not a male-order bride.

    • morrozo

      yeah one should double check on spelling before sending one of these

  • ruthiezzou

    Mail order brides are often a cover for illegal sex slavery. They often do not CHOOSE to travel to a foreign country but are rather sold via sex slavery ring. Or, women are promised a husband and instead are made to be prostitutes. Girls as young as 12 have been reported to have been 'advertised' and their is little recourse if they should be abused during the relationship. The incidences of abuse are far more common than portrayed in this list. Hundreds of thousands of women are tracked nationally and internationally with the promise of helping their families or finding a better life. They are sometimes told that if they try to leave they or their family will be killed.

    • Jermaine

      Bullseye.

  • happypants78

    #7

    im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!

    Fair enough, Now you just stay out of our country.

    • blunt

      i guess if you had anything to offer YOUR women they wouldnt be looking for men from other countries. i guess we should have stayed out of your country in the 40s too, then you could have continued to enjoy the niceties of the forces who occupied YOUR country then

  • Nothing says loser (or worse) like a guy using a mail order bride service.

    • Joseph

      you sound like someone who’s hating the fact that people can be happy without your approval.

      …as if you actually mattered.

  • T

    Great list!

  • ianz09

    Wow, great list! Long time since a JF list

  • ricky

    Good list, informative will use when sorting out
    LOL

  • antsandmoths

    these lists always make staying up past midnight worth it.

  • wonders

    Mail Order Brides are just sad…
    Btw good list.

  • Mindymoo

    What the hell is that thing in #6?

    I wrote a song about mail order brides. I was in the hospital a few years back for a few weeks, and there was this really cute and sweet resident who did GI testing on me. And I thought, “I want to write a song about him.” The “Weekly World News” was still in production, and I saw a personal’s ad in there that was offering mail order brides, and I said “I want to be Dr. Sabastian’s mail-order bride.” So I wrote it, and it’s kitshy, but it’s pretty awesome. Now I just need to record it. (I’d never actually want to be one, though. I’m too much of a liberal feminist.)

    I like the list, by the way. Mail order brides have always fascinated me.

    • Crasken

      It's a sloth :/

  • capt funtime

    so, any listverser’s got a mail order bride? tell us your experiences.

  • Jomm

    The lady pictured in #6 looks just like… UR MOM!

    Good list. It is stuff like this people need to know more about!

  • Alec Baldwin

    Nice list. I do know a thing or two about Filipino mail order brides.

  • JGarcia

    Jfrater makes the best lists on this website hands down bro!

  • signe

    The picture in no 6 is just about the funniest thing ever:-)

  • Arsnl

    Im pretty sure americans are thaking god right now that they won the cold war. A steady supply of hot russian chicks.
    But #10 doesnt make much sense to me. If the were marrying americans cuz of the type of society that means they would be very traditional people. And if they were tradition, why would they marry americans (not very traditional to me). Plus when you say 8 men for every 10 women that means 2 women get left out. Why are always the hot ones that get left out :-) ?
    I still blame it on the desire to get a us visa and the other material advantages.

  • Kyle

    nice list , the best in quiet a while

  • Emmett Brown
  • Ant-LOX

    I’ve always been amazed by this. Seems very, very uncomfortable.

  • Johan DeLaTorre

    Sloths are funny!
    Very thought provoking list…

  • JUNQUEMAN

    Why are we always picking on Americans–Do any of these “Brides” go to England-France-Brazil-Iceland? Yeah, this list is too ICELANDIC!!!

  • Jody

    Great list. I live in a small mining town in the middle of Australia and i know of 5 mail order brides. But that’s what you get when you live in a town made up of mostly men and a lot of money!

    • Beth

      Any of these men want to help me relocate to Australia from the US?

  • sad muso

    Excellent, well-written list – but of course, it’s by JFrater!

  • oouchan

    I guess you get what you paid for….pffft!

    Cool list, jfrater! Loved number one.
    I did know about number seven as I had an old newspaper that had an order in it for a mail-order bride. It was interesting to see.

  • nicoleredz3

    Interestingly vile… Very informative, though. I just do not get why men cannot find a woman near them, that they must do this in the first place, but then there are the men with criminal records… :-(

  • nicoleredz3

    @Emmett Brown (17):

    Lol!

  • Mark

    never heard about the whole concept…. until now

  • Jose Daniel

    Wow! Nice List! I didnt knew a lot of this things mentioned.
    I recently saw a tv program talking about Anastacia King in Discovery Channel. This is one of the cons about this mail order brides business.

  • hayleybeee

    My old landlord ran a mail order bride company…of course we found this out AFTER we moved in and signed the lease.

  • Brett

    Best list in a while! Awesome!

  • Cheeshygirl

    My son’s best friend in kindergarten is the result of a mail-order bride situation. The mother is younger and from the Phillipines. The father is older (one grown child and a few young grandkids but not ancient) and from the USA. She is very much a modern woman and not the subservient type at all. They seem very happy together.

    Btw, great list Jamie!

  • Day 6

    Fact #11 – Most mail order brides come from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, where there is currently a Winter Olympics….

  • ChineapplePunk

    So everybody, which one is female? Left or right?

    Good list. It’s nice to hear the good points about mail order bridal services. I’m sure there are a lot of couples that are happy together! :)

  • the armadillo queen

    one of the customers that would come regularly to walmart was a mail order bride, she was really sweet and funny and her husband was a nice older (of course) man actually rather handsome. she always had a smile on her face, always wore very nice fashionable clothes and he just seemed more in awe of her than anything else. theres a certain romantic idea that people can if not fall in love than at least be very happy despite language culture and age. i guess it is the mutual benefit of the guy gets the trophy wife and the woman gets the money and the citizenship but srsly foreign woman can’t be that stupid if their marriage sucks that they have to stay or that culturally bound

    of course i am just a naive american girl…oh well

  • weidermeijer

    @Jody (21) – reminds me of the mail order bride in “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” with the ping-pong ball trick.

    @ruthiezzou (28) – 12-year old Asian girls??? Does Woody Allen know about this?

    @nicoleredz3 (25) – if it was easy for people to find a partner near them dating websites would not be a HUGE industry.

  • General Tits Von Chodehoffen

    See money can buy love!

  • Scratch

    . . . . Uuuuh, ChineapplePunk is an amazing name.

    There’s a certain level of exploitation with mail-order brides that makes me uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to think past pasty old white men using their economic capital to gain the loyalty of women who otherwise wouldn’t look twice at them.

    Of course, there are stories that go beyond this image in my mind.

    A Dutch-Canadian man where I grew up had his family post an ad in a Dutch paper asking for a good Christian Dutch woman for him. A woman responded and they’re still together after about forty years. He never learned to read and the only English he knows consists of basic greetings and “how much for de?” followed by finger pointing. She reads to him and takes care of him. I really don’t know what he would do without her.

  • It seems like the Chinese are trying to surpassing the west in yet another area. Chinese men are apparently using these international marriage agencies in larger numbers targeting women from Thailand and the Phillipines. In some ways I feel conflicted about the agencies that offer legitimate connections for people. Its creepy that people think they can select a perfect mate from a catalog, but at the same time, its sad that in today’s superconnected society, people feel more lonely then ever and feel they have to reach out thousands of miles for a chance at being happy.

  • leithold

    #7
    the word you are looking for is exotic, not ugly.

    #35
    nice come back! im also a filipino, but still, nice comeback ^_^

    Nice list JFrater. but you already know that. don’t you get tired of hearing that?

  • Jam Lemon

    #7 “im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!”

    That is just shallow. As the cliche goes, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. Men from the West see in Filipinas what they cannot find in women from their countries. Same thing as most of us Filipinos want our ladies to look like the Hollywood types (a.k.a. ‘imported’). But we really should appreciate our own beauty. Each nationality is unique. Where’s your pride?

  • Freshies

    Our high school basketball coach had a mail order bride. We always just thought he was a loser and couldn’t meet a girl on his own. But they seemed happy, in public anyways, so who knows…Just doesn’t seem very genuine.

  • Madhav

    must be a serious shortage of subjects to make lists about mail order brides jeez

  • Jocelynd99

    You rock the lists Jfrater!

  • enigmasterpiece

    Fact 12: While Filipinas are often acquired through mail order brides, Filipino men were also able to acquire women through mail order bride and one case concerns a Korean woman. Under the negotiations, women should be able to do a good job in handling the house and be the one to initiate and be aggressive on sex on the first two days of their marriage life. I cant find the news article posted on the web but will still find it and share it to everyone, especially for Filipinos, for some kind of “payback” and hey, the business might still exist and you could be a new customer

  • EGM3

    First off, I find the term ‘mail order bride’ very offensive. If a person goes on e-harmony and meets someone from across the country, does that have the same stigma? If not, then what is wrong with seeking compatible companionship elsewhere? After meeting some Filipino people at my church I found them to be very nice people. One of them told me of a relative they had back home. I wrote her. That didn’t work out, but I over time I came into contact with several others. I wrote them as well. After a while we exchanged phone calls. All this time I continued to date American women. I simply found the Filipino women to be nicer. Eventually I met one I ‘really’ liked. We communicated for three years. I visited her country three times. On the third visit we got married. So I found a nice, sweet, compatible woman in another country and we are extremely happy together. So where’s the harm in that?

    • just offensive

      you know I do not find the term mail order bride offensive., because what I think what is actually offensive if that a Man has to go to a poor county., where a women is at a disadvantage and dangles opportunity in there face, let alone (food) as there ticket to a better life., that is offensive., I bet dimes on dollars that if this person was in the United States that they would not put themself on the market., for desperate men to pray on. It is just so sad and desperate.,
      Doing research on this., and it is just so sad the poverty., that these people are in., why not just hand them $5000 and do a good deed, instead of making it a benefit for you., Yes, they will benefit., but at what price., and if they had opportunties., I could bet that they would of never have gone that route.,

      No one wants to be with a man out of need, but some have to., fortunately., I live in America., and I have an education., and opportunities ., and I need not need to marry a man in order to be free., kind of like a man., you are free., what if the roles were reversed.,

    • Shane

      VERY good point. Its no different than internet dating here in the U.S. Also from first hand accounts from tours to the Russian Federation or Ukraine I can say the women are very sophisticated smart and worldy. Yet they retain a much better temperment than women as a majority in the U.S. They dont have the cultural over reaching of feminism against men. However they are not to be trifled with and they know their worth.

      • Shane continued

        Traditionalism is not weekness and it is something to be admired. Its loss in american women is resulting in at large, a decline in the nuclear family which can affect divorce rates. The few horror stories are from a few bad apples. Also its important to note that men or women killing or abusing their wives or husbands happens everyday in the U.S. between domestic born couples and it never even makes the news. But when its a foriegn girl with an american guy its all of the sudden "OH KNOW,LOOK!" ..?? its rediculous. There are no such things as "mail order brides" people. It takes a tremedous amount of time effort and money and traveling to bring home a girl or guy from a foriegn country it is complex and very trying for the couples. Do your research you cannot just "order one" Also alot of the women are very choosey about who they get engaged to they can afford to..they are by far thinner and more beautiful than American women as a whole, mostly due to differences in eating and dressing habits and social norms. We could learn alot from other countries about such things.

  • Marian

    Dammit, JFrater! Where did you get that picture of me used in #6? I didn’t give anyone permission to use my picture!

    Besides, I hadn’t put my makeup on…

    Not fair!

  • Arsnl

    @Scratch (41): but the fact that the brides take advantage of their youth or whatever to gain capital doesnt bother you. Its a win-win situation for both. But who are we to judge. Lets stop being hypocrites. Its just a business transaction. Im sick abd tired of people trying to define love or what goals are important in life. Will we start judging women for prefering to build a career rather than starting a family?
    Ps “pasty old white men” you are now a rasist a sexist and a gerontophobe.

  • Scratch

    @Arsnl (51):

    I can understand the motivations of both parties involved, but the one-sided advantage that these men enjoy makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m a romantic and an idealist, but I don’t think love and marriage should be a business transaction. Historically it was quite common for marriage to be more of a business transaction, but I like the idea of a love of equal partners versus a man buying the servitude of a woman.

    lol. Maybe my statement makes me a racist gerontophobe, but I’m not sure how I’m sexist. I hope to someday be an old white man. Not a pasty one, but I’ll take that if it’s the requirement for me to get there.

  • Kreachure

    Very informative and entertaining list. Thank you!

    Also, I’ll take the two at #2, please… there’s a two for one discount, right?

  • Sloth

    There was a movie about women moving to the American Frontier. I think it was “Westward the Women” or something like that.

    Should have mentioned the “Picture Brides” from Japan in pre-WWII Hawaii. Kind of the same concept. I heard that many of them did not look like the pictures they sent.

  • Arsnl

    @Scratch (52): well scrath we are humans too. How many times have you been in a bar and decided to hit on a hot chick (lets leave the beauty is in the eye of the beholder crap for another topic)? How many times have you noticed a hot chick and ignore the ugly ducklings. Is that compatible with your notion of romance? Two souls meeting united blah blah blah. I do like to think im a romantic too but i admit. My gf first attracted me with her looks. And for me being attracted to looks or money is the same thing- you dont get to know if you are compatible with that person. Thats why i dont see the one sided advantage thing. But i do admit. God wasted a brain on every material person.

  • Bdawg

    @EGM3 (49):

    Hey man, good for you. I think that “mail order bride” has been stigmatized by the media pretty bad, but I think it’s also a fairly accurate description of the process–one of those things like the word “retarded” that’s getting so much flak.

    Retarded DOES do a good job of describing the mental development of certain people with disabilities, but has also been coopted as a catch-all insult. I think it’s the same thing.

    PS. I knew an accountant with a mail order bride who ended up divorcing him and taking their kids. That said, they were married for long enough to have several kids, so it probably wasn’t any shenanigans, just a regular ugly divorce.

  • Bdawg

    PS, I don’t think being pen pals and getting married is the same thing as a mail order bride. Did you find pics of her in a catalogue?

  • deeeziner

    Being the Devil’s advocate…

    Women here in America fall for a foreign accent all the time. Maybe not for the goal of marriage, but a foreign accent is soooo chic and “different”.

    As a woman, I can also recognize that not all American girls play the field fairly, and sometimes the values we seem to uphold can be a bit askew.

    It’s said different strokes for different folks and if that means that some guys only see their marriage chances increased by soliciting to other countries, then perhaps it’s a reflection of some of our(female) values as they have evolved over the last few decades.

    There is a big difference in the cultural views of spousal and marital responsibility in other countries, and if it’s working for both parties, who am I to snivel or point fingers.

    It’s good to see a Frater list when I got back today. Now has anyone been posted as a winner to the Valentine’s competition?

  • EGM3

    Bdawg (58): Nope. No catalogs. Again it was thru connections of people I knew at church. Maybe that’s not the same as what JF was talking about. I guess all I’m saying is you don’t have to fall for the girl next door if the girl next door doesn’t appeal to you. It used to be part of romantic poetry and song that a person would search the world to find true love and it’s a sad thing that those who sincerely do get categorized as losers or ‘pasty old white men’.

  • atheists eat fish

    I used to know a group of Russian mail order brides in Texas through a friend of mine. They were very happy with the way things turned out for them. They had free time and money and got along well with their husbands. Their only complaint: American men don’t eat vegetables :).

  • Chester

    @Kreachure (53):
    At first I thought: Oh boy this is nasty. But the picture from #2 made me change my mind =)

  • Lifeschool

    I’ll choose…. the girl in picture number 2, on the right.

  • Chester

    @atheists eat fish (60):

    And Russian men do? Lol I know some Russians and trust me they don’t if they don’t have to. Oh and I’m an atheist and usually prefer meat over fish since we live far away from the sea and our freshwater fish sucks except some rare species. Same goes for the common cheap sea fish you get in the supermarket – like pollock for example. But now I’m OT :P

  • shirokuma

    „Sex, like spices, was one of the reasons for giong east.“
    (-Ian Littlewood in: “The idea of Japan. Western Images, Western Myths”)

  • Scratch

    @Arsnl (55):

    Who are humans too?

    To be honest, when I go to the bar it’s usually to drink, watch a game, and hang with my friends.

    I get your point, but I don’t think that finding someone physically attractive before getting to know them defeats my idea of romance. However, I’m sure you can relate to a seemingly plain woman becoming more attractive after her personality started to show (and vice versa). For me, being attracted to looks or money are both superficial, but being initially attracted based on looks is nobler than being initially attracted based on money. Realistically, most people do not want a mate whose economic capital consists of a cardboard box and a toothbrush – but I think that a key part of the attractiveness of someone’s personality is their industriousness.

    With the mail-order brides, I believe that too often it’s a relationship based on inequity, where the men hold all of the cards. The potential and reality of abuse is just too high for me to feel comfortable with it.

  • norkio

    First, I really hate when I find the exact text of a Wikipedia article in one of these lists. Meh, at least rephrase it.

    Second, the concept of mail order brides might have become popularized or socially accepted in the mid 1800s, but it has existed as long as there were more men than women in a location. The French coffin (or coffer) brides came to Louisiana when it was a French colony, and early Jamestown VA colony traded tobacco for women to be married to male colonists.

  • Kennypo65

    My mail order bride arrived today, but they forgot to put some air holes in the crate.

  • ryhsheller

    42 ryhsheller February 17th, 2010 at 8:33 am It seems like the Chinese are trying to surpassing the west in yet another area. Chinese men are apparently using these international marriage agencies in larger numbers targeting women from Thailand and the Phillipines. In some ways I feel conflicted about the agencies that offer legitimate connections for people. Its creepy that people think they can select a perfect mate from a catalog, but at the same time, its sad that in todays superconnected society, people feel more lonely then ever and feel they have to reach out thousands of miles for a chance at being happy.

  • isshmen

    Hi.. Nice Post! Do u want a link exchange with http://blogofsport.info ??? Or..AnyBody ?

  • FlameHorse

    Good stuff, Jafe. It’s called a relationship. You meet, you like each other, you keep dating until you know each other. You don’t buy and sell like property. What the pisshell possesses someone to marry a total stranger? Liquor?

  • Angeliski

    I’m a beautiful filipina, and I have lots of american men admirers and they are sending me messages through my facebook account. american men like women from philippines,…i cant see anything wrong with that :)…its not our fault that we’re pretty!

  • Zazzlebar

    Dear Jfrater, Can we hope to see any lists relating to the subject of ‘boobies’ anytime soon? Great list by the way.

  • illbegood

    ” I ordered a mail order bride, but when I received her she had been damaged. So I had to return the unused portion to receive a full refund” -Kevin Meaney

  • allie80

    My great cousin married a russian mail order bride. She came to the funeral of my grandfather with their baby. She was very pretty but didn’t say one word.

  • It seems to me that the concept of mail order brides (in the old days) was much like todays “Match.com” and “e.Harmony”. People who, for whatever reason, are looking for love but have scant resources in their vacinity have a way to look for love in other locales.
    Makes absolute sense to me.
    The warnings are spot-on, and are applicable to all dating circumstances.
    Great list Jfra.

    btw, I’m still not getting follow-up posts!

  • Any facts about mail-order MEN? I mean, does it also work the other way around?

  • rodj

    i am a filipino as well, i feel sorry for women who cant find decent guys here in our country..women are abused and sometimes killed overseas. but who can blame foreigners? filipinas are very loving and dont cheat on their partners.

  • Angeliski

    I wonder why my comment was deleted… I’m an avid fan and you really hurt my feelings :(

  • Jody

    Scratch : 65

    The women get a say in wheather or not she wants to marry that man. Usually what happens is the men go on the website go through a few of the ladies he might be interested then he let’s the agency know who he has decided on then he will fly over to the country where the ladies are and spend like a week getting to know everyone and then he decides exactly who he wants and then it is up to the girl to accept or deny his request. I do understand that in some places it is a tad dodgier than that but when you think about it, compared to the hundreds of mail order brides that are exchanged each year, how many do you hear of in abusive situations? Maybe 5 or 10. And the statistics show that (in Australia at least) one in three women are or will be in a domestic violence situation. On that note, all of the people who have commented about knowing someone with a mail order bride has said that they look happy and safe. How many regular relationships do you look at and think “I bet her husband bashes her”

    Finishing off. Majority of the time, the mail order brides know what they are doing and why they are doing it. Usually for reasons that many of us could not understand because we don’t live in that culture. So if two people meet through an international dating service which will ultimatley result in a bride, who cares! Who are we to judge that their love isn’t as true as a couple who have been dating for years. And as number 8 states the divorce rate is lower with mail order brides. Any way. That is enough rambling for me now. But just remember not to judge something that you obviously have no idea about…

  • I’m so glad I stumbled across this post. I’ve been browsing my options for mail-order husbands, but number 9 scared me away. Thank you.

  • gay list

    please listverse please come out with a good list soon i used to love this site but everything recent has been utter crap btw i will continue posting on every bad list till you start getting good agen

  • Ironcross

    It amazes me that Russia, primarily because of WW2, is so short of men for their women. Still today we feel the reverberations of lebensraum.

  • chingpower

    never thought there are many Filipinos reading listverse.
    i’m a Filipino too. :D

    the fact that there are a lot of Filipinas marrying foreigners seems to bring bad image to our country. it’s all because of poverty. everyone is finding a way how to escape it. it’s a sad reality for us.

    • checkerberry

      And it makes us look like we're desperate and eager to hook only foreigners. Contrary to popular belief, we're not all interested in foreign men.

  • Cynwri

    Thanks for making these great lists! I would be lost with out this site.

  • ZibbyYamala

    awww, sloths are so cute.

    oh, nice list too. :P

  • Always wondered about mail order brides. Thanks for the informative list; you’ve satisfied my curiosity. By the way, #6 is awesome. Lol

  • Yogipogi

    at #7 “im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!”

    there are other issues here other than how a person looks. Lame shallow comment. Shame on you kabayan.

  • Yogipogi

    and by the way.. let me ride along….

    The list is too Filipino-American!. LOL. nice one JF

  • Aj

    The reason why men loved to have filipina women as their bride is filipina are loving and caring.They take care of everything.Most of all they are not party goers and stays at home ( This applies to some towns female ) And most of all the important thing is they are ” faithful wives”

    • 20xbetterthanyou

      That’s a bs&$&[email protected]&! I know a lot of filipina women here doing that sh$t here! They married an older American men and once they got here, they fu$ked another guy behind their husband back! ! !
      No offense to your own kind, but I am one of the victim. I trusted her, give her the life she needs, bought her parents a house in the Philippines, ( very poor family) documents, car, money, house,give her an education, gave her a breast implants she wants, ( I never knew that filipina women are ugly, except if your in a movie industry) when I visit Philippines, thought she’s beautiful, but I am wrong, she is ugly and short and look like a maid. Sorry about that , but I am saying only with honesty in my opinion. If someone out there wants to visit Philippines , please go to makati, so many classy women out there . Very educated and mostly beautiful women with class .

      About her, she cheated on me’ many times, caught her naked and fucking another guy in my own bed.,so don’t tell me’ they are honest and sincere about the relationship. That b$&ch! I am so done with her, learned with my own mistakes and never gonna happen again.

      Some

  • I agree with No. 3. But let me stress out that marriage is still a social contract.
    “I’m the husband, I’ll support you financially”.
    “I’m the wife, I’ll give you sons and daughters”.

    • jason

      Yes you are to true I told my wife who is in the Fills tha a marriage works both ways all it has ever been to me is money,no wonder people are getting more and more switched on to this race of people,I find them selfish and no wonder why there is so much corruption there,i never want to go back my wife tells me today her electric going to get cut i told her go and work like everybody else,that why they turn to prositutes they are lazy people

  • meeao

    my is shenzhen

  • Bianca

    I think anyone who uses a mail order bride system is pretty pathetic. I mean, even if you live in a low populated city, get out and you’ll meet someone eventually. This perpetuates the socially inadequate.

  • Sam

    “Johns Hopkins University offers a course called “Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context” which is supposedly a deep look into Filipino kinship and gender. Why a person would want to study this subject is beyond me, but there must be at least a small amount of demand out there.”

    1) JHU’s title for the course is rather offensive. It seems to reduce the Philippines into the issue of mail order brides. We have a rich history and culture in relation to the rest of Southeast Asia and it’s sad for these things to be reduced into a single, measly, mildly unpleasant pre-colon title just to (probably) peak interest.

    2) “Why a person would want to study this subject is beyond me,” Right. I can think of reasons:

    a) You’re Filipino and you want to see how JHU thinks of you and your country

    b) You actually have a mail order bride and want to understand her better (which is very sweet of you)

    c) You’re a mail order bride and you want to have a better understanding of yourself (you go girl, pursuing the unversity after marriage)

    d) You DO want to understand how the Philippines situates itself in the Southeast Asian context

  • hunter

    @Aj (89): I like how you placed quotation marks on “faithful wives”. Is that a wink wink kind of thing? Hehehe

  • porkido

    Is it my imagination, or did most of the posters take stupid pills today?

    • John

      really? So the The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services is stupid for reporting that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.”? Please explain how that is stupid

  • porkido

    As far as I can tell, The Protection Project at the Johns Hopkins School of International Studies is a very serious program; my guess is that the course is as well.

    How a class at a university can be considered a “fact” about the phenomenon of mail-order brides is quite curious…

  • Funny!(:

    281 435 4257 call this number.

  • Vera Lynn

    Funny (97) Hmmm…. not so fast. Dont quite trust random phone numbers posted on a thread…

  • susi spice

    wow great article, i think u could have gone even more in-depth. i worked in an industry that dealt with mail order wives for 5 years. It was a very disturbing world sometimes. there were cases of Russian brides who knew each other beat each other violently then accused their husbands (who happned to be well off) and scored hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of assets from them. On appeal these cases were the russian brides had won initially were over turned by a court on appeal with evidence provided.

    I have encountered countless number of asian brides who have arrived in the country, stayed with the husband for the necessary time it took to get their permanent residency and the day they received that letter in the mail they left the husbands high and dry. On two occassions I saw two doctors who had cheated on their wives to be with these asian women, decided that they were not goign to give their wives of 20 and 25 years respectively any of their shared assets and put all the assets in the asian brides name. 2 years to the date of marriage upon receiving their permanent residency the asian brides left their husbands with EVERYTHING and they were left with nothing.

    so there is a very very dark side to all of this business that most ppl dont see.

    And a lot of men destroy good marriages because they can easily get a younger wife who for a while will treat them like a king. but often they usually come crying to lawyers to help them and then its too late. In my experience they regret ever doign it.

  • manashiori

    @EGM3 I think I know what Church you’re from.

  • funny facts.

  • marrl

    im a filipina try me

  • marrl

    just kidding-

  • Sophie

    My dad has recently gotten his very own Filapino mail order bride. She is thirty, he is 51, and they are set to have a child in about 2 months. Oh and they got married without telling me. They have only met once. Can’t help but feel that lonely old Dad is being used!

    • Jerrod

      I feel sorry that your father fell for this scam. Hopefully, she'll get her green card and move on. Try talking some sense into your father.. maybe you can introduce him to some decent women in your area.

    • voxlogica

      He's 51 – not 89, so he has his wits about him. Just is willing to pay for sex… she's earning her money if you ask me, sleeping with some disgusting jerk old enough to be her father. .He deserves whatever he gets, since he is a person who BUYS other people for sex! Hope she leaves him and finds a real man as soon as she gets the chance..

      • Laila

        Agree with you there. Foreigners need to understand that they might be able to buy a body (a wife) in places like Asia, but he will never have her love and her loyalty. Without those, how can a relationship survive?

  • @Sophie (104): With that age gap between your dad and his wife, I think it’ll be normal to feel that way. Hey, if your dad is happy, then let him be.

    @JFrater: Great list, great read. I didn’t think the “mail-order” system was still this big.

  • Great post!

  • Philipphe

    HOW ARE YOU , Xin Chao cac Ban , minh lam quen nhe ! see you agian . goodbye

  • Adam

    We live in a crazy world…

  • My wife is Russian…We met the old fashioned way (in a bar), but we know a lot of so called “Mail Order Brides”. The reasons they do it are pretty spot on in #10. Yes some want to live in another country. One woman loved Germany so she set out to meet a nice German man. She was 45 he was 50ish. After a medium length courtship they were recently married and have a pretty nice marriage so far. Others are looking for the “required” Husband and 2 children. One of our friends is in Japan and happily married for 7(?) years now with 2 kids. Some want both. The last example lives in France, but her husband is a cheap jackass.
    As to a shortage of men…I can’t say. But my wife tells me that many Russian men do not treat their wives very well. My experience of one or two couples is different, but I don’t live there.
    Personally, I don’t trust internet dating of any kind…but I’d say the rate of good relationships to bad in my experience is about 50/50. So pretty much the same as tradtional relationships, right? After all people are people

  • @susi spice – Perhaps your experience/work brings you mostly the failed marriages. Like I said I know plenty of both. Sometimes the women also have unreasonable expectations. Americans are seen as “Rich” all over the world and by comparison it is true. Also during any courtship ritual we only show our best side, so that reinforces the belief. When the courtship is over and a man is shown to be a Normal guy who has a budget to balance, disillusionment can follow.

  • patet

    I’m a Filipino and yes I knew a lot of Filipina married to foreigners. My High School teacher is an example. I don’t see anything wrong with that but the word ‘mail order bride’ kinda offensive.

  • the most surprising fact was that 80% of mail order bride marriages stay together!

    • voxlogica

      Yes, well – the women don't have much leverage….. and what is their alternative to sexual slavery? Living in poverty in their home country? Not really that surprising –

    • jsmith

      It is impressive that 80% of them last.

      I wonder if the same amazing rates of commitment can be found among Ukrainian and Russian women. Maybe it’s even better!

  • I am a filipino and I must say that I really take great offense when Filipinos are merely typecasted as Mail-order brides or worst, a gold-digger. But well, who’s to blame? There are a lot of Filipino women who goes for such things, for reasons being (1.) they are desperate to go and live in the US; (2.) poverty; (3.) to have blue-eyed kids so they can put them in the showbiz industry of the Philippines. And yes, I am serious with the 3rd reason.

    • voxlogica

      These women are ignorant of basic genetics (and also shallow as hell). You can't have blue – eyed children unless you carry the gene for blue eyes – – not likely in the Filipino population. Marrying someone with blue eyes won't do it.
      Duh…

  • Scratch

    @Jody (79):

    The women get a say, you say? Wow. What an awesome choice between poverty and a massively obese/ ancient/ socially awkward husband who holds all of the economic and social capital in the relationship.

    Based the informal poll that you’ve conducted on a listverse comment wall and the magical numbers 5 and 10, you’ve concluded that abuse is not a problem for mail order brides. I’d say the abuse of these women is probably higher based on the fact that these women are often unfamiliar with the law and have husbands whom they are often economically dependent on and who hold the power over their immigration status. Men who use mail-order brides often cite the fact that they want traditional wives who are subservient. Imagine what some of these men will do if the woman starts showing any kind of defiance.

    Now, I’m sure this is a minority of the men, but I still believe that more should be done to protect these women.

    There are plenty of happy couples where this is not a problem and good for them. I’m still uncomfortable with the whole thing.

  • cdog

    List item 4
    A few clarifications.
    The Howard government was voted out of office partly because of the racist and right wing attitudes toward immigrants. John Howard was a shallow, gutless leader who liked to use populist redneck fear of our Asian neighbours to win votes. His methods took us back to the white Australia policy of the 50’s.

    Australia is a very multi-cultural country much like the USA. Most Australians are proud to live in a country that embraces people from all nations. We are a country of immigrants after all.

    The TV program you mentioned is lightweight sensationalist journalism at best and not seen as a serious news source.

  • periwinkleskies

    @Zion (7): Lol, we’re from the same country. Anyway, you’re right in a way. I don’t know what Filipinas find in those foreigners either. It’s as if they just want to use and abuse.

  • pod

    were can i buy one of them thing in#6 id smash that

  • chicirda2

    hilarous

  • Sophie

    Yeah I agree. Let my dad be I guess! I wrote an article about it at sophieadelle.wordpress.com take a look. It’s a little bit satirical.

  • barlow

    OK, so where do you put the stamp????

  • EGM3

    @manashiori (100): What church do you suppose that is?

  • yeah yeah i know JFrater is awesome and everything, but i personally think he’s a tad racist…

  • archangel

    so shameful!

  • hehe very interesting

  • nice

  • VGer47

    Scratch (114)

    I notice you seem to think that the men hold all the cards in mail-order relationships. Seems to me they also take considerable risks, seeing how many of them end up with their wife leaving the moment they get permanent citizenship. Not that I don’t agree with your points, but I think there are two sides to this.

    Great list, BTW.

  • Scratch

    @VGer47 (127):

    Good point. Maybe the women have one or two good cards to play.

  • dude

    im from the philippines and i want a russian mail order bride

  • My ex-boyfriend once confessed to me that he was looking into Russian mail order brides. He said before we met, he had joined a web site and started looking into it. I asked him why (considering I am anything BUT the happy home maker type) and he said – we both get what we want….I get freedom and a wife that does “wife” things, and she gets to live in America. I don’t really think that is exactly the right attitude.

  • When I first read the link I thought I was going to look at facts about mail-order bridges. Imagine my surprise. I wonder if a bride would do as a way of crossing my stream.

  • miss blonde

    Men who marry 'mail order brides' have lower divoree rate because they control and manipulate the women. I find that the men who tend to go for particular Asian born women tend to be less attactive, have a poorer self esteem, do not have social skills to get an Australian born wife no matter what ethnicity she is. Thus he needs to buy his wife. She choose him because of his money, which desn't mean much to Australian women. They may use the excuse that they find asian women more attractive, which some do, but nearly all the Australian men I know who marry asian born women are weirdos.

  • porkido

    @HDIC(130):

    What’s wrong with that attitude?

    Worse than falling in love and getting married, having kids, but then growing apart and beginning to dislike each other and fighting all the time, then getting acrimoniously divorced and fighting over the kids in court while simultaneously screwing them up in the head…?

    The first option seems, somehow, civilized…

  • I actually have a good friend whose mom was a mail order bride. I don’t know how well the marriage functions, but they lead a seemingly calm and happy life. They raised a very intelligent and well-rounded child. My friend is half Filipino and the other half is white/hispanic.

  • I actually have a good friend whose mother is a Filipino mail order bride. Their marriage is seemingly calm and functional, even though I don’t really feel there is much of a passionate love connection between them. They also gave birth to a good looking, intelligent and generally very well rounded kid. This topic as a whole leaves me ambivalent.

  • Also I am just going to add….I am not sure if you can always characterize these women as gold diggers. Nor can you say these men choosing to marry a mail order bride are all manipulative, unattractive jerks. On the contrary, my friend’s mother works in jewelry appraisal. His father is a Syracuse graduate that I believe was once successful in the job industry, but is now at home all day (I think he has mental condition involved with his memory). They must have been successful together as they live in a nice home in Manhattan, NY. His father seems like a nice guy. Some men are just really simple, and want a simple woman as well and America is simply not the place to find that woman….

  • Woow very interesting list. Can’t believe that people actually agree to this, just seems like a modern version of an arranged marriage. But to each his own, I suppose.

  • graciegoaround

    Hahaha! That’s a briliant list! Of course the divorce rate is lower in arranged mail-order marriage. When the bride doesn’t speak your language, you don’t piss each other off. Voila, the secrete of a long lasting happy marriage

  • streetprophet

    Appreciate the info. Very informative thread.

  • tsk tsk
    this is illegal
    this should be stopped

  • Bearsstar

    #2 I live in Taiwan and indeed there are an increasing number of mail-order brides arriving here. Most of the men who do order brides from (mostly Vietnam these days) abroad are older guys/handicapped/poor who haven’t found the right women but bear the burden of passing on their surname, blood..whatever blah blah. The easiset way is through the services in which they visit the country and pick one out in a week. The problem here now is that the next generation of children are starting to emerge with more problems (since many of the men who do this are at the lower end of the financial spectrum and poorer living standards)

  • Hilarious!

  • miss blonde

    To killedthecat420
    Yeah some men maybe nice, but the majority are lower standard. There are many simple women in the U.S, but its just easier to go buy one.

    • FamGuy58

      The majority of men the media show fit the stereotype of "dirty old men" However Studies show different facts. According to a US Government report http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_Append… A survey of American men seeking mail-order brides found that the men were generally white (94 percent); highly educated (50 percent with two or more years of college, 6 percent with M.D.'s or Ph.D.'s, only five did not complete high school); politically and ideologically conservative; and generally economically and professionally successful. About 20% were in professional or managerial positions. Their median age was 37. 84 percent lived in metropolitan areas. Fifty-seven percent had been married at least once; most had been divorced after an average of seven years of marriage, 35 percent had at least one child, and 75 percent wished to father additional children.

  • BIG list!!

  • robbiej432

    This list is so TRUE!!! haha lol at number 4

  • Redisca

    As a Russian immigrant, I know some “mail-order brides” and I also read blogs / forums, etc. in Russian, which are intended for the Russian audience, not for potential American husbands. I see several misconceptions at work here, both in the list and in the comments.

    It is true of Russian mail-order brides at least that they are not quote-unquote “desperate” to leave the country — Russia is mostly at peace and people aren’t starving. What is driving them, however, is a certain kind of romanticism, enhanced with a good helping of ignorance and naivete. Russian mail-order brides almost invariably come from “the provinces”. Rarely do they hail from major university centers and almost never from Moscow or St. Petersburg. For the most part, they come from dreary, far-flung towns and villages where, to paraphrase Mikhail Zoschenko, the difference between the season is that during the winter, the mud downtown reaches slightly above the knee, and in the summer — slightly below. These places are so depressing, one cannot imagine without seeing them with his own eyes. These girls don’t need to get out to survive, but they see marriage to a Westerner as a big ticket to the great world Outside, a world of prosperity, adventure and glamor, not unlike what they see in the movies. Most of these girls are poorly educated (regardless of what they say about themselves in the catalogs), of mediocre intelligence and bleak prospects at home. And for the record — the Russian culture isn’t a “traditional” culture in the way that Americans understand it. Age gaps, especially those big enough to span a generation, are virtually unheard of in the Russian society, and marriage is considered something that should be based on love. Blatantly mercantile marriages have not been around since the late 19th century, and even then, they were invariably reviled and roundly criticized. So any mail-order bride broker who claims that Russian women long for the business-transaction side of marriage because it’s the “Russian way” is simply lying.

    As for that whole “they seem to be happy and functional” thing — of course, few people cry openly if their marriages are unhappy. When you have no choice but to remain in the marriage, the only thing you can do is keep up appearances. Most of the time, we cannot know the truth, but if it CAN be gleaned, it’s from the context. One Russian mail-order bride I knew lived a couple of blocks from my building for several years. Of course, she was about half her husband’s age. Everywhere she went, she dressed like a hooker — 5-inch heels, microminis, heavy make-up, orange lipstick, the works. Whether she went to the market, or she was pushing a stroller, that’s how she looked. Her husband, when he accompanied her, went about in something that looked like boxers and tee-shirts so small, they did not quite cover his big hairy gut, and he was all disheveled, fat, sweaty and ungainly. They had a kid, who didn’t seem to be deformed or anything. The wife didn’t cry, the husband didn’t yell at her in public. I don’t know whether their calm demeanor would meet the criteria for “they seem to be happy” verdict. From where I looked at it, it seemed like a nightmare.

    I corresponded with another mail-order bride, whose husband was from rural Montana. Again, the husband was in his fifties, the wife in her twenties — something that would be unthinkable in Russia. When she got to Montana, it turned out that her responsibilities (in addition to cooking and cleaning) would include providing round-the-clock care to her disabled and borderline demented mother-in-law who, of course, took an instant disliking to her, made fun of her accent, her grammatical mistakes, etc. The husband even joked about how much cheaper it was for him to bring a mail-order bride to care for his mother rather than to hire a home attendant or put his mother in a nursing home. Within a year, the girl had twins, and now her happiness was complete. The husband perpetually absent (at work) and she perpetually confined to a remote rural home in the middle of nowhere with two infants and a crazy, paralyzed old woman. Just what every young girl dreams about.

    And a couple of thoughts about the “fairness” of the exchange. No matter how you slice it, mail-order brides give up a lot more than they get in return. They have no bargaining power — even if we say that they get “security” and what not, this benefit is far from assured. Many mail-order brides get poverty and abuse instead. But they must make great sacrifices upfront: part with their friends and family, marry a much older and physically undesirable man and move into a foreign country with whose culture and laws they are completely unfamiliar (which, by the way, explains the lower divorce rate). Immigration is a tough experience; in some ways, it is like death. The gains that these women experience in return for abandoning everything they know are meagre indeed. In other words, for the deal to be struck at all, the woman must make a significant upfront investment — but she has no way of compelling the husband to hold up his end of the bargain.

    Oh, and one more thing, regarding no. 10: the disparity between the genders is a deceptive statistic; specifically, the disparity grows the age. In other words, just because there are “8 men for every 10 women”, that doesn’t mean there are only 8 men IN THEIR TWENTIES for every 10 women IN THEIR TWENTIES. Men in Russia nowadays have a particularly short life expectancy, which means that old women far outnumber old men (something that was always the case, as I remember from my childhood), but among young people, the disparity is virtually non-existent. The tired argument that Russian mail-order brides somehow “must” seek marriage abroad because there aren’t enough men at home is also belied by the fact that Russia has an abysmally low marriage rate, which applies equally to men and women.

    • FamGuy58

      Redisca you have an amazing command of the English language for a Russian immigrant. I am an American with a Russian wife from Moscow. I am surprised that, according to you, "Rarely do they hail from major university centers and almost never from Moscow or St. Petersburg." Strangely many of my wife's Russian "padruskas" are from Moscow and Petersburg. Many of her girlfriends, like my wife, actually do have advanced university degrees from major Russian universities.

      You say "Many mail-order brides get poverty and abuse instead (of a secure marriage) " According to this study they get a better chance in the USA than in Russia.

      "http://paa2004.princeton.edu/download.asp?submissionId=40273

      Authors: Natalia S. Gavrilova, Victoria G. Semyonova, Gavlina N. Evdokushkina, Alla E.
      Ivanova, Leonid A. Gavrilov Princeton University

      Excerpt:
      Women in Russia fall victims of spousal
      homicide almost 3 times more often than in the United States: male-female ratio of
      spousal homicide level is 1:6 in Russia versus 1:2.3 in the United States (see Gondolf,
      Shestakov, 1997). These data demonstrate more vulnerable status of Russian women in
      family. Another difference of spousal homicides in Russia compared to the United States
      is low percentage of husband’s suicide attempt after wife is murdered (8% vs 25% in the
      U.S.) and very few murders of children (30% in the U.S.). The authors believe that
      female homicides by husbands in Russia are related more to marital conflicts intensified
      by a lack of mobility and economic stress (see Gondolf, Shestakov, 1997). Lack of
      housing and women’s shelters in Russia exacerbates the problem of domestic violence
      when women have to live with abusive spouses for many years (Zabelina, 2002).

  • nicoleredz3

    @weidermeijer (38):

    Good point… Sad, though…

  • Shea

    The Sarah Plain and Tall series is about a mail order bride.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah,_Plain_and_Tall

  • Scratch

    @Redisca (147):

    Very informative comment, thank you.

  • Delia

    I work for Immigration and consequently see a lot of this type of thing. While you occasionally meet a couple who genuinely care about each other, it’s almost always the case that some sad, fat, sexist loser has found a girl who was already a prostitute in her own country, and it was a choice between the comparable safety of this guy in a better country, or a pretty awful and uncertain future in their own, dealing with other losers. These women have often been forced into prostitution at a very young age, and they’ve generally had few decent opportunities in life. The whole thing is miserable.

  • katerinaelaena

    @isabledd (144): Love isn’t synonymous with sex.

    Great List, Jfrater! We miss you!! =D

  • katerinaelaena

    @miss blonde (133): Though i agree with some of what you said, the comments of Asian women vs. Australian ones seemed borderline rude. I think that’s a big stereotype to put out there that includes your own personal bias, maybe?

  • miss blonde

    Katerina, It’s not Asian women Vs. Australian women. Its richer women who have a choice in who they can marry, and poorer women who are forced under circumstances to marry. Richer women do not have to worry about their livlihood so they are free to pick a partner who they are compatable with and find a partner they find attractive. Poorer women may feel like they need to marry anyone who can provide them with security no matter what they looks are.I admit I am biased, I find dirty old men marry Asian women half their age a disgrace.

  • Billy

    What a list, I always was curious about mail order brides.

    – Billy

  • @patet: well we call a spade a spade. mail order bride is a mail order bride. There is something wrong with it, there is something wrong with it because the man has something wrong with him and so do the women. its called Desperation.

  • katemc39

    Reading this list made me pretty angry. I think it’s ludicrous that men can flip through a catalog and marry an immigrant and import her to the US. I don’t have anything against immigration/immigrants. But, American policies are heinously heterosexist.
    As a gay person who had to leave my country (The States) so that I could be with my British girlfriend–because I couldn’t marry or sponsor her–I think the double standard is hideous.
    A lesbian who has been with her partner for eight years? Sorry…no sponsorship for you.
    Some loser dude who can’t meet girls in real life? Sure! Bring that stranger in. We’ll give her a visa.
    Real nice.
    Good list (factually speaking) but boy does this concept wind me up…

  • Sparkle

    Mail order brides are nothing new. What you have is men from wealthier countries looking for “hot” young women but their wealth isn’t great enough to attract that type of woman in the States unless their as wealthy as Donald Trump or Bill Gates. So they look in the developing part of the world where they can afford to purchase a hot young woman for a fraction of the cost of a similar woman here.

    It has historically been white men doing the “buying” of younger hot women from Russia, Eastern Europe and Asia now African-American men of some economic means are doing the same – looking for hot young women from Brazil or the Dominican Republic.

    American and some European men are simply taking advantage of the fact that the “goods” can be purchased a lot cheaper “over there” than in the States or Western Europe.

  • Anak ni Lapu Lapu

    @galatea234 [113]: yeah i know right.. its a shame. where FILIPINAS define beauty as being light skinned and then they use their kids as a income source by stuffing them on showbiz in the philippines.. means they are disgraced of being filipino isnt it. because the way they define beauty. beauty comes in many aspects shapes and sizes shades of colors. maraming mayabang babe sa pilipinas when they are with a import.. they brag its stupid. it makes us look bad.. what ever happend to appreciating the roots of the Filipino people. Filipino men possess more qualities as a husband than other men of other countries.. ask your lolos and lolas about how their relationship..

  • Jim

    when I was in The Philippines I was surprised to discover that many of the women I found attractive were not considered to be especially pretty.

  • Bill

    Sad that people are so judgmental…. People make their own choices and have to live with the consequences. Whether it's the man who gets taken to the cleaners or the woman who ends up unhappy. Most of what's been posted (especially on the negative side) is nothing but people stating their own prejudices. Very sad indeed.

  • boss

    great article! i am filipina and happily married to an irish-american guy from chicago. thats all that matters. i dont care about the issue of mail-order bride, were happily married for almost 11 years. People dont be too judgmental …

  • some one

    I've been happily married to a Filipina for 12 years. Met through an internet website and wrote to each other for a year before I visited her. It's a very hard way to meet someone but it worked for me.

  • DharmaBummed69

    From experience I have to agree with Susi Spice. My friend was aproached by a Filipina who was married to a man in our town. She said she thought he looked like a nice guy and wanted to know if he was interested in corrosponding with her friend Hannah in the Philipines. He was single and said he was. He wrote her and recieved letters from her for about a 1 year. Then she met a wealthy man from Switzerland and married him and never contacted my friend again not even to tell him she met somebody else(she divorced him after getting her Swiss citizenship). A few months later my friend received a letter from a friend of Hannah's named Christine. She had seen some of my friends letters and was so taken by what he wrote that she stole the letters from Hannah and began writing him. This went on for about 6-8 months until Christine met another man and broke it off. She contacted Hannah and told her about taking the letters. All was forgiven as Hannah now was married to a rich Swiss citizen. With Hannah's permission the letters were now passed to a 3rd friend named Cherry.

  • DharmaBummed69

    Cherry seemed like my friends soulmate. Just about everything he was interested in she had in common with him as likes also. He corrosponded with her for about a year and then they decided to be together. He spent thousands of dollars on fees to US Immigration for paperwork. Cherry was denied a visitors visa to visit him so they could get married. He had to fly to the Philipines where they were able to get married after spending hundreds of dollars in bribes to local officails to get permission to get married. He was already several thousand dollars in before he evn married her and this doesn't even include the thousands of dollars added up that he sent to her before they were married because her family was constantly in crisis that could only be fixed by more money. He finally got her to the states but continued to have to pay hundreds of dollars for biometric appointments and for her to get a social security card. Immediately after she got here she saif she said she was having discomfort in her abdomen. At the hospital she was informed that she had a softball sized tumor o nher ovary that was somehow missed a less than amonth earlier during her mandatory phisical in the Philipines.

  • DharmaBummed69

    My friend now was the proud owner of a $8000 hospital bill that he alone is responsible for because since his wife did not have a social security card, the hospital would not help her unless he sign for finacial responsiblity. She eventually got a social security card and after paying several more hunderd dollars a work permit. She got a job in a clothing store and instead of helping him pay down the hospital bill she spent her pay on new clothes and shoes. He was not able to pay for all their normal bills and her hospital bill with his salary and ended up having his paycheck garnished 25% a paycheck none of which his wife has ever helped with or given him any money to help him out when his check is short because of the garnishment. Also after getting here she met a group of Filipino women who used men to get here by scamming them into thinking they loved them(they call these guys stepping stones) but once here they divorced them after getting citizenship and then find rich older men. You would be suprised how many men in their 60's who work at our Public Utiility District that make over $200,000 are married to Filipino women in their 20's in our town.

  • DharmaBummed69

    hese women constantly encouraged my friends wife to leave him and find herself a older rich man. After she recieved her permanent residency she stopped coming home at night and stopped answering my friends phone calls. I told him that these are usually signs that somebody is cheating but he didn't want to hear it. We lived in the same apartment complex and I saw her get into another mans car after my friend left for work. She said she wasn't cheating on him and I must have been high and that was good enough for him. A month befoer she was eligible for her citizenship test she came home, told him she was pregnant with the child of the man at work that she wasn't cheating on him with, and she left him. She even convinced my poor sucker of a friend not to file for divorce because that would disrupt the citizenship process i.e she would have to marry again and be with the current husband for 3 years before being eligible again and he feels that she "earned it" by putting up with him for 3 years. Except as far as I know that's not how the US government see it and now I'm afraid he's willingly engaged in citizenship fraud.

    • voxlogica

      when your friend decided to engage in human trafficking, he lost the right to any sympathy. He's a moron – and unethical.

  • DharmaBummed69

    I'm thinking her plan was to get pregnant by her new boyfriend so she could leave my friend and marry the new guy. What she didn't count on was that her new boyfriend was recently divorced and while he was interested in being a Fun Time Charlie with her in the sack, he had no interest in getting married again much less her. He is however interested in suing for custody of his child. My friends wife(and I still say wife because thay aren't even legally seperated) now lives with a couple of friends who helped her have the affair( she left her phone at their house while she was with her boyfriend so the GPS service would show she was there, except she wasn't) and at first they said she could stay there as long as she wanted rent free. That lasted 1 month until they got the electricity and water bill and now she has to pay $250 a month. She continues to give my frien fals hope of getting back together by goig on dates with hime, but she cancels the date over %75 of the time

  • DharmaBummed69

    I think she's just keeping him on the backburner as a saftery until she can find somebody else. Oh yeah she is eligilbe to take teh citizenship test now but can't afford the $600 fee on her own and has been trying to get my friend to help her pay for it. I've flat out told him that if he pays for it and they are not officially back together that I will slap the living crap out of him for being so gullible and stupid(although I know it's because he misses her and is lonely). Anyway I just wanted to relate this story. I know there are many good women out there corrosponding with American men. However there are just as many bad women out there looking to scam a lonely sap and that is why the whole overseas bride deal has such a bad reputation.

  • DharmaBummed69

    For some reason some word in my 3rd post was flagged for moderation. Funny considering this section talks about the Filipino women in our town who used men to get here calling them stepping stones and then divorced them after getting permanent residency and then married men in their 60's + that made over $200,000 a year.

  • Geetha

    133 miss blonde
    February 20th, 2010 at 5:04 am

    I find that the men who tend to go for particular Asian born women tend to be less attactive, have a poorer self esteem, do not have social skills to get an Australian born wife no matter what ethnicity she is. They may use the excuse that they find asian women more attractive, which some do, but nearly all the Australian men I know who marry asian born women are weirdos
    ————————————-
    I find that offensive. what’s wrong with marrying an Asian? it is called preference. you can have preference and guys can have preference.
    Not all Asian married foreigners for money. and not all foreigners married Asian born women because they are less attractive or don’t have social skills.
    My husband is a great looking american, wonderful person all around and super fun to be around with. I’m a balinese (not so far from your country eh?) hold a bachelor degree in law, have a good job, money is definitely not the freaking reason why I married him. we met when I was in college, he was stationed in Germany. We love each other, that’s why.

    Some people are plain rude and judgmental. Just because some might do it for money doesn’t mean all Asian want to marry foreigners for the same reason.

  • Kate

    Image #10 is my copyrighted image, posting and distribution in this manner is
    unauthorized. Please remove this image ASAP, and reply as soon as you have.

    Thank you,
    Kate G.
    owner & photographer, http://www.twigphotography.com

  • jason

    I am married to a girl from the fills,however all i ever get asked for is money,I am now getting to the point of calling it a day as there is more to love than just send send send me i wish i had never visited the country its a joke of a place

  • Vin Broccoli

    Good stuff to ponder here…

  • jade

    I guess women don't go after mail order husbands because we are too smart to fall for something so foolish. These women usually come from poor backgrounds and are not only looking to be supported but also support for their families. So men who are looking to find a "nice" woman who will be non-materialistic — wake up. You'll lose more than your pride, you'll lose your wallet.

  • FamGuy58

    I believe #9 which talks about the danger of being murdered by your "male ordering spouse" (sic), should compare the rate to the overall rate of being murdered by your significant other. I think their is well over a thousand cases a year of murder by romantically involved persons in the USA. My thinking is that the rate of abuse in mixed international American marriage abuse is similar to American domestic abuse. This list seems to be Australian based, and it may be different there.

  • James

    Actually Statistically speaking more and more American males are going to Eastern European and Asian Wives because they have found American women (By and large) are too expensive Financially and emotionally to deal with, one of the clearest examples I've seen is one American woman who stated in exact terms that "I don't Need a man, I want a man" but expects the man she winds up with to show her how much he needs her…Eastern European and Asian women have a culturally different outlook on things and most often (not always) Financial and Emotional expense isn't how they think so they are women who are much more pleasant to be around and be in love with…it actually has little to do with "Subservience" in most cases (Again there are some I'm sure) but mostly its because they don't hold the same mentality American women do.

  • 20xbetterthanyou

    check this out about Filipina bride confesses to murder of Runcorn preacher
    David Brash, a Baptist minister from Warrington, Cheshire, was found dead in a swamp and his wife, Annalyn Bataller Brash who killed him because of money, http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/bre
    And check this out too! http://www.lugaluda.com/sonia-rios-the-black-wido

    Be aware with this filipina mail order bride, who knows you might be next…….dead!

  • mystockholm

    Well … my mom was a mail order bride … we’re actually really happy … and my mom is super smart. So … Quit bitching, Americans.

  • vickiezlarsen

    Name

  • loveisblind1

    Ironic all my ads on this page are from Russian Love Match…

  • Evadebabpar

    Name

  • Paul T

    I heard of a case where a man went overseas marryed a beautyfull lady they took seperate flights back to Australia he went to the airport to pick up his new wife was a the airport for some time could not find her he heard a anouncement call him to the office when he got to the office the customs official said your wife is here waiting for you he said I never married her the customes official checked all documents this is the woman on the documents he was devistated that he was scamed by replacing the woman he married for another woman

  • donnalaviva

    good lists i hope my fellow filipinos who sell themselves would feel cheap and at least have somc sense of self respect not everything is about marriage,money and greener pasture.

  • Seoane

    My mother and father met this way, back in 1982.
    My mother was tired of her life in Honduras, and was looking for a better situation. At first she didn’t want to do it, but a friend convinced her at the age of nineteen. My mother said that she got responses from men all over America and Europe. My Father, who was in his late twenties, really didn’t care for American women, so he decided to look elsewhere. Long story short, they got married and had three children. They separated after ten years of marriage, because my father developed a very bad drug habit, so everything went down hill.
    Anyways, I can see why men will look for women of different countries. I wouldn’t mind taking the same route that my father took. Some people look at this method of meeting someone, negatively. I think that some people should stop judging and stop making generalizations because every case is different.

  • Murphy O”Conner

    Real person with a real success in finding my true love in Vietnam:

    Heres what I got to say to the woman over here in the U.S ( matter of fact, the entire western woman in general are lame, lazy, cheating, reality t.v watching bitches ) Call me what you will and say what you like. Its fact.

    I been trying since highschool to find my true faithful wife. I always adored Asian woman and respect true tradition. I was also practically brought up in a Vietnamese home when I was a child. Before finding my present bride in Vietnam. I been cheated on, divorced, I also have a son which the mother also cheated on me and left with my son, the list goes on and on. All I ever had with the woman over here is literally headaches, or worse, even want me to share them etc etc. I never once treated a lady disrespectful, I honestly never cheated as well. Like I said, I really do not care if you do not believe me up to this point. But all this is true!

    After my ex-wife left me, literally falling for a man on a virtual computer game called ( SECOND LIFE) which makes me sick, she started talking to a man on this fake ass video game and later on I found out she started to talk and expose herself to a few men online on web-cam as well, I literally almost gave up on life and was about to get into criminal gang acts, because of all the struggle with her, this dreadful economy, I keep getting laid off over and over.

    But something deep inside me kept speaking to me to go over seas. You see before I met my ex. I was suppose to be a English teacher and just when I was about to head over seas to teach english either in Vietnam, Japan or Thailand. I ended up with my ex wife and that dream never happened. Until of course when she cheated on me. I took a big break from the woman here in general and made my mind up that I really want to go to Vietnam.

    So I took the negativity out of my mind, I literally ended up getting hired again, started to workout in the gym big time. Changed my whole life around. Before I knew it, at my new job, 3 of my co-workers have met Asian brides. And yes, they are all mail order brides. I would type the web-sites where we all met our brides, but I do not know if your allowed.

    So to end this forever typing, lol, the 3 co-workers and now including myself found true success. I honestly never wanted to meet any female on-line. But I saw how happy they are and well remember as I mentioned I always wanted to go to Asia, plus my upbringing made a big influence and one of my goals to teach English. So it all added up, I was not meant to marry a woman over here in the U.S. Call me old fashioned, old generation, I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone here thinks. And on top of it all, FUCK all you haters that put these beautiful-sweet-traditional woman down. If you study culture, do your homework and actually took your head out of your asses, you will see not everyone is looking for a greencard. And believe it or not, my present wife doesnt care where we live, where we go, does not want my money, treats me with most respect, takes care of me to the fullest. All she wants is true love and a family.

    This is all recent, I honestly just got back from Vietnam As of Aug/2011, I stayed with her there for over 4 months. Now we are planning a future together, whether it be here or over in Vietnam. Some of you, if you made it this far to this story, are probably wondering, why on earth are you planning to possibly go there. Quite simple really, because of the TRUE respect I got over there! The people/culture are truly sweet. The food is incredible, its nice to see people that are actually fit and not lazy slobs like over here. I honestly got job offers over there, unlike whats happening over here. Oh and did you know, if you discipline your child over there in public with a light spanking, you ACTUALLY GET A PAT on the head, unlike here, where your threatened for jail time. The media hides everything, theres virtually no crime there, Military and Police do theirs jobs and walk the streets at night after 11pm, the list goes on. Plus my wife has a government job there, so I find no sense of bringing her here, when we both could risk having nothing here. Also it was great to hear hello sir, please, Thank-You, your a handsome guy, etc. etc. Very polite people. Oh and its also great to see that you can say MEEEEEERRRYYYY CHRISTMAS, I CAN SAY I LOVE JESUS over in Vietnam, unlike the political BULLSHIT of whats going on now! Free choice of religion over here MY ASS! Anywho, I better stop….

    And no, I’m still not jobless after my trip seeing her, I rely on my family business and I have my own home business. Ebay helps me out a lot too. I still try constantly to get a career or job going here. But always end up laid off and fighting with the unemployment offices. So to bring my wife to the U.S now and have her lose her government career. I really don’t know…so I figure, possibly rent my house, get my english teaching certification and go to her, until by miracle and see if things turn around in the U.S economy wise.

    Lastly, if your curious about Mail Order Brides, Or foreign Dating/Marriage web-sites in general and thinking the people you see online are only out for a green card or your money. THINK AGAIN! Like I said, do your homework and do not just rush into things. Heres some pointers before I end this off.

    First check if your true love has a job, is he/she independant, educated/any degrees, does he/she work and are out of the parents house? Make sure he/she is mature, my present love is 28/ honestly has 2 degrees, one being a bachelors, the other an art degree, shes independant, works in the government field, takes care of herself just fine, she also does not party, doesnt smoke, no drugs, doesnt even drink any booze, hates t.v, hates the media, cannot stand whats going on in todays world, traditional, open minded, funny, full of undying love, spiritual, she literally goes to Church and Buddha Temple. etc, etc.

    So you see, you haters can KISS MY GOOD OL” BROWN EYE and again you woman over here can literally keep watching your reality bullshit, your straight one day then bi or lez the other day, keep cheating, get fatter, lazier, eat your high sodium fuckin t.v dinners while letting all the bills pile up and letting the house and your kids get out of control, literally to end it off, JUST GO FUCK YOURSELVES! YOU CANNOT AND WILL NEVER COMPARE!

    • AdoptedFilipino123

      @Murph….

      I couldn’t agree more with you. I’m is the same position as you are but just about 1,000 miles away to the east. I love the respect I get here in the Philippines, the people and the food are so wonderful.

      My wife gets a laugh out of her friends when they ask if I eat western food all the time. She tells them no, he would rather eat local food or food prepared by the street vendors.

      I came here to find a woman who would reciprocate the love I have for her. Something my ex-wife didn’t understand. My wife doesn’t understand that if she cooks, I clean up the kitchen. It isn’t about wanting a slave, or someone who will pamper me. She thinks that it is a woman’s job to do the house work, cook, clean, do dishes. Well as you can tell, I’m a child from the 60’s and I was raised by my parents that the work should be shared equally.

      My wife wasn’t a “mail order bride” though, we met somewhere else and spent two years talking before we even got married. I have lived in the Philippines for over two years and have never regretted my decision. I agree with most of the male posters here in this forum that most of the western women are into three things, “Status, Clout, and Money”.

      Sorry, I don’t find that here. I have more friends here in the Philippines than I do in the USA. I mean true friends, that when the chips are down would give you the shirt off their back, or fight to the death to protect you and their way of life.

      As far as looking for a younger wife, That doesn’t fly either. I’m 47 and my wife is 41.

  • IL Duce

    Well I gotta admit it. I completely agree with O’Conner. All I ever had over here with the woman are huge stressful headaches. I almost went through the samething. Not to say I’m any better the O’Conner, I’m just damn lucky I have no kids with an ex-cheating Bytch. I also never 2 tymed on a lady. But of course with the girls here, I been cheated on etc.

    As for the money thing. I have no clue what everyone is going on about. The EFFING woman here are no better. I mean shyt, if you make a milli0n a year and got a paid off house. Its not enough to please em, you make a million, you need to make a million and 2. You gotta house, you best get a mansion with a muthereffing Ferrari in your drive way.

    A lot of the beautiful woman over seas have been raised poor, or are in a very poor country altogether. So yes some ( NOT ALL ) some look for financial stability, in order to feed their family, or even their siblings. I think its a small price to pay for undying love. I been to Thailand, Vietnam & The Philippines . Trust me with our exchange rate, a few bucks goes a lonnnnnng way for a starving family. So 90% of you ought to shut your mouths. O’Conner is right, just do your homework, if your worried about being scammed. And believe it or not, I’m now presently dating a beautiful woman thats mixed Japanese-Thai. Also shes completely traditional. yatta-yatta.

    And lucky for me, like O’Conner, my lady is working class, has completed University, does not ask me for money or trying to rush marriage at all. Matter of fact, she doesn’t care about all that drama. Just wants to be in love and when the time is right, we will get hitched etc.

    Nice to see theres still people with morals is all. But again, I completely agree with ya Murph. I cannot stand the western attitude, let alone their dreadful woman. The woman over here, truly do not compare at all. They make me sick!

    Lastly, this isn’t just an Asian fetish thing. Believe me, I dated a couple Asian ladies over here in the U.S. They are no better…hmmm. Guess why, because of their westernized American upbringing is why! All they want to do here, is drink, drink, party, clubs, drink, party, lazy, sit on a computer all day, fast food garbage, tell their boyfriends off, possibly dyke it out behind your back and every now and then have a sausage train run on them, Kardashian-Tyra Banks-Effing M.T.V are their role models….FAWK the woman here… Nuff Said

  • HATE-F.T.W

    I HATE ALL FEMALES IN THE WESTERN CIVILIZATION!!!!!!!!

  • Logical Dude

    This (what is erronously called mail order brides) is well known and necessary phenomenon. There is abuse by the agencies as well as men and women involved. As far as US and Canada are concerned the traffic is more often one way. Meaning brides coming here than the other way around.
    One historic example the article didn’t mention at all was the war brides, when many servicemen returned with a foreign wife.

    Everything society in society exists for a reason (even prostitution). It is essential to recognize why any practice exists, acknowledge the need, survey the challenges and make it safe for the public at large even if they are not our citizens.

    First of all the practice needs to be recognized, players identified and a suggested set of rules published. Right minded service providers, and men and women won’t have much reason not to accept such rules in their own and public interest.

    If further observation requires adjustments or tightening that will be OK. The need for ethical/legal regulation should be studied formally. Who ought to deal with the issue as far as its regulation is concerned I don’t know. Who would pay for such regulation? These are all important.

    This model of finding a partner has been around for llonger than anyone can say. It does seems to work to the advantage of participants. Passing judgements on it favourable or unfavourable, without fully understanding is not productive.

    My best wishes to thousands of men and women looking for a partner.

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  • Eva

    For the men who complain that American women are a pain in the ass, you’re no picnic either: you’re childish, careless, capricious and lazy, so I guess it all balances out in the end. Cheers!

    • Changeisessential

      While I agree with your premise that it is not only the females fault in this conversation, and that men do have quite a bit of growing to do in most circumstances. I think what men mean when they say that American women are pains in the ass is that those men are used to dealing with women that feel that they are entitled or have a strong feeling of entitlement to feeling superior to men. I have to say that I can only confirm this through my own experience with dating women in the United States.

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  • Icarus

    After 12 months and over 1,000 emails My lady in Russian has decided to marry me. During this time we have discussed everything good and bad, warts and all. This is the only way. She is not a young chick bit a mature educated lady, who wants nothing but honesty and love. She is even paying her own way to join me. One in a million

  • Brighid

    “Men” who have to buy a girl from another country are pathetic. All they want is someone who will bow down to them. Grow a pair.

  • Filipinas love foreign men because of their money.

    I’m Filipino and I know that.

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  • Nicole

    I wish they would stop calling them Mail Order Brides. It makes it sound like they’re buying women when in reality it seems more like an international version of eharmony LOL

  • Peter

    Definitely agree with you Bob! American women do not know what they want. They say they want a “nice guy” and everything like that, but when it comes down to it, their priorities are completely different. I am not a stud, but I am a good looking guy. I know how to treat a woman and make her feel great, but unfortunately they just want the hottest item on the market.

  • Fly buster….lol

    Most of these comments are good…but some of the so called women here on this blog are mere gold digging shallow little bar flies with nothing better to do than trash men that seek their sole-mates. hey Bar flies if this site offends you then dont read it….keep your legs closed so you don’t reproduce and make little gold digging bar flies….lol…enough said!

    Good luck gentlemen in your search….she is out there waiting for you somewhere…

    To the good ladies that did comment…thank you for your thoughts and well wishing.

    To the others; Gold digging shallow bar flies….well what do flies like best?….have yourself a belly full….lol

  • I dont have problem with this.. its the men who go over with the idea of this slavery mind..i would do it to meet one girl..not 100..and that is lie that you have to go meet them..they can visit you with a visa..are people that stupid to think they get a visa to vist you..just like we get a passport to travel..it is if the persons have the money to do these things..

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  • BJ

    No matter what you say-taking advantage of women who are poor, deprived, uneducated and with few or no options to gain an advantage in their home country, whether the Phillipines, Thailand, China, Russia, the former Balkan states is wrong.

    These men are really engaging in “slavery” and calling it a mail order bride business. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.

    To do our part, the developed-industrial-western nations-must establish legal sanctions against these men and their brokers. These women are really being prostituted and men who use these services are “johns”. Disgusting.

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  • wow ur full of it

    Let’s cut the crap and get to the real reason American men go for mail order brides: they believe that foreign women are more submissive, and are ignorant of their rights in the event of getting a divorce in the United States. If they want to know why American women think they’re disgusting, well, there’s the reason. Plus, they are willing to pay thousands of dollars to basically purchase a human being through the mail. They get a sick egotistical thrill from being able to “own” someone, even if it is only through the “contract” of marriage (more like a deed of ownership in these cases).

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  • Mr. Unlucky

    Why are some people so against mail-order brides?

    I just want a happy life with a wife I love, and to settle down and start a family. However, American women don’t value nice, intelligent men. They prefer the “bad boy” image. I also have what most American women consider to be the worst possible offense… I’m short (5’5″). So I have to search internationally for a woman who will appreciate a caring and honest man.

    I’m not a fat, not old (I’m only 30), not ugly, not socially awkward (I have plenty of friends), and not poor (I have a good job and a good education). I’m not a loser who just wants to abuse a submissive woman, and I’m not looking for a servant. I’m just a nice, intelligent man who wants to experience love and has been unlucky with the extremely judgmental American mentality. I want my wife to enjoy the experience of life with me. I’ve always been a good person. Don’t I deserve to be loved, too?

  • Notanothernick

    Dude, it’s genius! I’m an attractive american man with great muscle tone, becoming a physician and every woman i ever dated in america is just disgusting, no self respect, no respect at all, lawless, judgemental, mental, snotty, snobby, typical jersey shore stereotype, and then one day i got spam about mail order brides, and i researched mail order brides and i think it’s great! i wouldn’t want to engage in a marriage which would most likely end up in a divorce, lot’s of american women have no morals, at least these mail order types are very well educated, suitable for careers, physically fit model types, and respectable. This is the type of person you settle down with, i love america but im gonna most likely settle down with a european.

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    I’ve gotten my bride at Costco, it was a 30% sale. I also brought 10 cases of Snaple and a 60″ flatscreen TV!

  • The Truth

    You guys talking about american woman are sad and phatic. More than likely your socially awkward and live on the internet. Mail order brides is a sad and desperate state for any person. If you’re not fat and disgusting your skinny and crazy. Stop blaming American women for your inadequacies and get what is known as a LIFE. A brief history: you are dealing with culture differences. America is a cultural melting pot of different cultures. Fine you don’t like Susan then go outside where you live and stop being lazy and superficial. The problem is American MEN thinking they can act like ANIMALS and women are supposed to “honor and obey”. You want to control “YOUR Woman” but you can’t control that beer GUT you been working one for 7 yrs. I like the ones that said…”I’m a guy (Really!), I look good and I’m young, but it’s those American woman that are too much” Okayyyy, Well I’m a Super Model, 22 yrs and live in a 2.6 mil mansion. Whatever, losers! You need an intervention and a treadmill. Get out that dank room, get some friends and start a life. Oh, and stop blaming American woman for YOUR issues, it’s called Therapy, invest in that. Benefits: not only can you find a woman…doctor (lol) but you can also get the help you need. Two for one deal…oh and its cheaper. The benefits are endless.

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