Every year in virtually every country, crimes go unsolved – and sometimes undetected. When someone commits a crime of this type it is called a perfect crime. This is a list of ten tips to perpetrating the perfect crime. I am sure it doesn’t need to be said, this is not meant as a reference for criminals, but rather as an entertaining look at crime and detection.
1. DNA
DNA is the surest way to prove you committed a crime. It is absolute imperative that you do not leave ANY DNA behind you and that is very difficult. The best solution to this is to commit your crime in a place that is likely to have a lot of DNA from strangers. For example, a park, a mall, anywhere that a lot of people tend to gather. Finding your DNA will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
2. Relationship
The large number of crimes committed are committed by someone close to the victim. The police know this well and they know who to question. Your best bet here is to pick someone as random as the victim. This is especially true if murder is your crime of choice. Don’t be tempted to commit your crime against someone you only know in passing – it must be a total stranger.
3. Proximity
This ties in to point 2 – commit the crime in another town. You don’t want to travel so far that you can be connected because you took a trip – just far enough that you are outside of the main area of interest to the police. You also don’t want to be on the road for hours before the crime as you may become tired, or after the crime as you may still be on the streets when the big investigation begins.
4. Type of Crime
Chose your crime carefully. For example, you are almost certain to get caught if you try to rob a bank. Chose a crime that can be committed in the early hours of the morning or that can be done very discretely during the daytime.
5. Evidence
Most criminals are caught because they tried to hide the crime – what they should have been doing is trying to hide any connection they have to the crime. It doesn’t matter if the police know the crime happened. If your crime involves a gun or weapon of some kind, use it and drop it. Leave it at the scene. If you follow point 7 this will not be a problem. If you kill someone, leave the body there. Do not touch the body at all. Do not move the body and do not try to hide the body. And just in case you haven’t understood that last part – that includes using a vat of acid. If you have stolen something, you need to get rid of it as quickly as possible and if it is money, don’t start spending up large – you will draw attention to yourself.
6. Timing
Timing is everything. The best time to commit a crime is in the very early hours of the day when most people are asleep. If you do follow this instruction, remember that you need to look like you are not out of place on the street. That means no full face coverings. The selected time is important when you come to purchase your tools.
7. Tools
First off, you need good thick gloves. The thin ones are not good enough as they can split and it is possible to leave fingerprints if they are sufficiently thin. Do not use anything you own and do not buy brands you normally buy unless they are very generic brands. This means you need to go shopping. Shop out of town and shop in large department stores where you are less likely to be remembered. Remember: very common brands only. You must pay in cash and you must destroy any receipts, or shopping bags. After the crime is committed, destroy everything you bought as quickly as you can and don’t do it in an obvious way, like having a bonfire in your back yard when you have never done so before. Wait at least one month from buying your goods to committing your crime.
8. Alibi
It is wise to have an alibi – though not essential if you have followed all the other rules. It doesn’t hurt however. One way you can do this is to plan an out of town trip and book your hotel and rental car with your credit card. Sign up for a convention and attend. Try to use a hotel with no cameras. In the early hours travel to the place of your crime, commit it, and return. Enjoy the remainder of your holiday (on your credit card) and return home the next day.
9. The Getaway
If you are committing the crime in the early hours, the best mode of transport is by bike. This will enable you to get off the roads if you need and to travel quickly. You do not want to be seen on the street walking (remember, the Zodiac nearly got caught this way) and you don’t want to be the only car on the street at 2am! Take regular cycle clothes and wear them. In the case of murder, if you have dumped the murder weapon you should not need to worry about evidence if you do get picked up. Wear an iPod and maybe a fresh packet of cigarettes – you can always say you were out getting smokes as you couldn’t sleep.
10. Aftermath
First of all, do not watch the television and avoid the papers. The police can use these as tools to try to psych you out. Avoid these things for at least a month. Do not celebrate in any way – continue about your every day life. Do not brag about your crime to anyone (that includes posting here in the comments!)
One final tip: if you do get arrested, this does not mean you have failed to commit the perfect crime. If this happens, do not speak. The police need evidence to convict you – if you have done the job right, there won’t be any. Don’t help the police with testimony. Remember, the court needs to find you guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Oh – and if you do get convicted, you might want to read this article on the top 10 tips to surviving prison.
In case you are wondering how I know all this… re-read point 10! Okay, I am kidding. Really.
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OBAMA………………………..
he is awesome
wait why am I saying this on this website..ppl might think you know what….let me stop…OBAMA ROXX..
January 20, 2009…..
Hey why don’t you tell them how to be a more effective psycho and baby killer as well.
You dicks, I hope that you guys are victims of the guys you teach. Serve you a lesson.
Id like to add that when you do commit a crime, destroy or burn all items that were on you at the time. Do not discard them, they can be found. Also, car tracks are a problem. Maybe it would be smart to change your tires after you commit a crime if you used a car. Also, sneakers. You don’t want to leave tracks behind. Discard them in a way that makes them unrecognizable. It might also be wise to wear something that prevents your hair from falling out. Commiting a crime is real difficult…
If you’re looking for a gun you can always buy one at a Gun Show. Random people bring their guns to these conventions and sell them to other gun enthusiasts for cash while inside the convention. Completely untraceable to you. And definitely just drop the gun after using it. Just like in The Godfather.
ok, but that guy will probably remember you, what u need to do is get a kitchen knife and stab in their head.
don’t listen to hotel part. just say u were at home while your wife was shopping, and leave house without any1 noticing you.
a hotel can make you a suspect, because what are possibilities of going to hotel for 1 night, and the same day someone who you know gets killed, huh?
fast tips: go out, kill, come back and have a can of beer.
The guy won’t remember you if you go there disguised with wrong color contact lenses, hair dye or artificial wig, etc. This same technique can be used to hide your outing from home or hotel and yes, do care to enjoy a can of beer after your successful perfect crime.
the thing curious thoughts said about priests is not entirely true, actually. a priest can, and SHOULD, go to the police to divulge a crime they have knowledge of. country to country, maybe even state to state the laws of whether or not that can be a legal confession probably differs, but it can be used to track you down.
for instance, if you commit a murder, but are found innocent, you could still be charged for an assortment of other crimes involved, so long as they were not brought up along with the original charge. that same act could be charged with other crimes: breaking and entering, owning an unlicensed firearm, breaking paroles and probations. a confession to a priest may not get you put away by itself, but could well lead to being put away for something else, or investigated.
just dont tell people.
Very useful list.
But if i were to commit a murder, which could happen i guess, sociopathic tendencies aren’t a weak point for me haha. I would want it to be public. Not meaning that i would want to get caught; just that I wouldn’t destroy the body. I would want the murder to be found. Not necessarily for the attention of being the killer, but for the attention of the killed. To commit a brutal crime, and everyone to know about it, just so people can see how *****ed up this world can really be.
I guess what I’m trying to say was best summed up in a quote from the film Se7en.
“Wanting people to listen, you can’t just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you’ll notice you’ve got their strict attention. “
Perfect crimes take a lot of planning. Most of the posts on here have very interesting comments and tips for the perfect crime. With that being said, it must also be pointed out that the tips alone will not help you get away. First of all, a lot of the angles posted here are from only one angle. Some rational minds posted from a variety of angles attempting to combine them. Still yet, no one has looked from outside the box. Most are geared too much on the specifics that they forget the big picture. I agree that the tips posted on this site are helpful and most should be used; however, as I have mentioned already, the tips will only guide you in the right direction. Common sense and a little bit of luck will fill in the rest of the gaps.
And I just find it interesting that some think that they are experts. Yet they provide information that is false and is not backed by proper research. Lack of information is a big downfall. Knowing that facts will aid you in the commission of your crime.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I encourage that people debate the tactics and challenge them; but one should do so in an intelligent fashion. Simply stating “I believe that … ” does not qualify as an intelligent answer. Providing research or literature to support your claim will ensure that you will be taken seriously. And it should be noted that support should derived from a reliable source.
With that being said, remember that every crime is different. No two crimes are the same. Each event is surrounded by different variables and scenarios. Therefore there is no clear and evident answer to committing the perfect crime. What works one time may not work the next. Every crime is situational, so use your common sense and hope you get lucky.
Disclaimer:
I do not condone acting upon this information, nor do I believe that it should be used for criminal activity. It is my intentions only to debate this topic for informational and entertainment purposes. I support the claim that “to catch a criminal, you must think like a criminal”. That being said, I believe this topic/forum provides a means to critically *****yze potential thought processes of criminals.
Lol who knows when i’ll need this.
lol i love this i noticed when i searched google on “how to” this was in the top 10 right atound Suicide when all i really wanted to do was tie a tie so i decided to click that was interesting i’m sure i won’t need any of your spectacular advice in this lifetime but i had fun reading it.
then just for kicks i searched “how to commit murder and get caught by the cops for searching it on my computer” and this was first in line too hahahaa ahh i love it uh oh looks like i better head for the hills the cops might be at my door tommorow ah well
good night folks
sure way to walk away from a crime. ….. hire OJ’s jury..
I find the LEO’s comments interesting. I lack the same practical experience, but to me several hitherto unmentioned things seem significant.
Confidence. Act with confidence, like what you are doing is natural. This is most significant when lying, of course, because nervousness is the first sign people look for when trying to decide if someone is lying. Confident lying will usually get you past the preliminary suspicion and keep you from ever being interrogated more carefully. However, acting with confidence is important in situations other than face-to-face discussion; this is why pathological and serial killers can be among the most difficult to catch. Someone assertive, confident and genial (not an *****) can do even unusual things without being noticed, just because you seem to be confident in your reason for doing it. This ties in a lot with what Old_Cat and the others said, but it is a distinct point.
There have been lots of comments about looking up lists like these being incriminating evidence, and having done so implying that you’re as good as caught. This is only true in one situation: you’re already a suspect. The fact that I’ve posted on this website will not make me a suspect in a random murder on the other side of the country; but if something occurs in the investigation of a murder that connects police to me (victim knew me, hairs left near the scene linked to me and x many others, etc.) THEN research into my activity will occur. If you can commit a crime and succeed in evading LE’s suspect list, it doesn’t matter how much research you did online (or in a library or wherever). Bragging online, however, would definitely count.
Also, the label “perfect crime” is misleading. It implies that this is something significant; however, far more perfect crimes are committed than imperfect ones. The discussion so far has treated “crime” as referring only to significant felonies, not minor misdemeanors. However, speeding and internet piracy are crimes. (According to hearsay:) In the state of Washington it’s illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag, and in Houston, TX, it is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
This leads to my next point. Slip your crime under the radar, to the extent possible. If you’re going to rob a bank, do it when you know the local cops are busy controlling a riot downtown, running stings on a local drug bust, and chasing someone who stole a semi full of volatile chemicals and is headed downtown at high speed. If you’re going to commit a murder, murder a member of a local gang–someone the cops would assume was killed by a rival gang in a street fight (obviously, this has the consequence of you being hunted by the offended gang, but generally escaping a gang is far easier than escaping law enforcement). If you’re going to park in a handicap spot without a permit, park in a van with a roof carriage rather than in a sports car.
Also, “victimless” crimes are generally easiest to commit. If you hack into your school and improve your grade, the school will care about the crime and fight back. However, back when sodomy was a crime in a number of states, if two consenting adult males had ***** they probably weren’t going to get caught and prosecuted for it if they did so in the privacy of their own bedroom. Current *****ogies include reading censored material and using *****s (although ***** and carrying, both “victimless” crimes, are frequently prosecuted, its not hard to get away with drug use in the privacy of your own home). Before someone gets carried away, I feel I should point out that the victim of tax evasion is the IRS, and it’s not the kind of victim that lets crimes against it go unprosecuted.
Wow that’s one of the best things I have read on the internet for along time. But I ended up skimming through a lot as it seemed it was all about murder! Any chance of getting any pointers on just breaking into warehouse at 3am stuff to steal small but valuable items! I know I have watched too much TV but I have tried every thing in life from attractive women, doing a degree and working very hard in different industries. But now I’m very bored and very poor and before I commit suicide coz I can’t stand this perfectic life that doesn’t matter how hard I try I suppose I should at least try the CAT burglar idea and if it goes wrong I could just die in prison!!!
This is Cool *****.
I would like to agree with Dr. Lecter on the subject of confidence and gang members.
Now, I am not the type of individual to endorse crime, I’m the kind of person who likes to solve complex problems. After watching too much CSI and being presented with a highly fictional and much better functioning version of the law, I decided to craft my own perfect crime based off of these observations. This list is highly similar to what I came up with.
Mine went something as follows:
1) Planning:
you must plan your crime alone, and on nothing but your own brain, or single sheets of paper. and after you plan on paper, immediately dispose of it. its best to keep all your plans in your head, do not do anything on any form of computer or phone. that is stupid. keep it to yourself.
2) The Victim:
ideally you want to find a victim who is in no way connected to you who is likely to be found dead in an alley, a gang member is a good example. Now, someone mentioned that most murders are for a reason, this is true, if you are going to murder someone just because some sick piece of you desires the power of life and death, its best to pick a random individual. If you are a member of middle-class america go victim hunting in a poor urban area, if you can, try to kill a homeless person, but not a child. Dont kill children people care too much about them. Homeless people are perfect murder victims, especially if the happen to enjoy living in areas with high gang activity. Dont live anywhere near your victim, seriously. and if it is a homeless person, dont ever EVER talk to them. you have to have really thought this out. dont talk to anyone else about them either, you dont want anyone to know you give a ***** about this homeless guy, which you shouldnt because you are about to kill him.
3. Make your alibi
someone before mentioned bed and breakfasts. that would be a good idea if they were not so small. As mentioned before, buy a trip with your credit card. A good idea would be, if you are doing this in an urban area, take a cab ride somewhere far from your murder and use your credit card.
where are we so far? so far you have decided, alone, that you want to taste the power over life and death, you live in either upstate new york, new jersy, or connecticut and you go to the city all the time for business, this is not unusual for persons living in your area, and thusly are completely normal, you live alone, have a mid wage job, and are not particularly anti social, but do not have any close friends to speak of. you work in downtown manhattan. you decide your victim should be a homeless person, so you start your search under the ruse that you started jogging central park, which you have to be doing for months before the crime, all your coworkers must know by now that you are an avid jogger and that you love jogging around central park, like thousands of new yorkers. you dont slow when you get near anyone, even if you found the perfect homeless guy. you just go at your normal pace and keep a mental note of how often you see the guy there. make sure you run with other people, not as a friendly thing, but as a sort of timing thing, make sure that the day of your murder people see you jogging in your normal way, and make sure people see you behaving completely normally, nothing about you has changed since the months ago when you started jogging, other than your health, obviously. on the day of your murder, take a cab to the trainstation you go to to get home and use your credit card, make sure you have been doing this, too, for months, at around the same time as well, so taht it is well established that you go home around the same time every day. make sure you have your train ticket paid for with your credit card too, and make sure you get on the train home. instead of going all the way home you get off at the next stop. no one will notice, trains do not have to check you off, but they do tend to have cameras. make sure you leave with the crowd. now walk back down to where your murder is going to occur.
4. committing the act:
do not hesitate, leave the weapon there. when you are committing the act be sure you are wearing two layers of clothes, including socks, make sure the shoes are several sizes too large for your own feet, the socks should help make them fit. the clothes should preferably come from a thrift store, so they could still potentially have epithelials of other people on it. make sure BOTH layers of clothing came from a thrift store, and that this is the first time you have worn either pair. when you purchase the clothing pay for it with cash and do not buy them from the salvation army specifically, buy them from an independant thrift store, the salvation army tends to have cameras. you should have purchased the clothing months before the murder, but not around the same time you started jogging, preferably before then. since you have been jogging so damn much you have likely lost a lot of weight since you purchased the clothing (and everything else you need to commit the crime) so you likely will not be recognised anyway. kill your victim with a knife. in the city it is hard for a gunshot to go unnoticed. leave the knife right there when you are done. strip off the first layer of clothing by cutting it off of you, pulling it over your head may cause your hairs to fall on it. feel free to cut up the clothing into many pieces, discarding random handfulls in public trash cans you pass on your way to a different train station then the one you left. the last things you should discard are the gloves and shoes, which should be taken care of at home.
5. the end result:
now that you have killed someone, you go home, dispose of your last ties to the crime scene (the shoes and gloves) and sit back, do not gloat, do not feel satisfied, your crime is not over until the news stops talking about it. do not start acting strange, do not stop jogging every morning. do not stop any habit that you have started to prepare for this murder until several months after the case is closed, continue out your daily life as if nothing unusual has ever happened to you. feel no guilt, feel no remorse, still go out for drinks every tuseday night with your coworkers and talk about women and stuff.
in the case that their is some link of you to the case, it should not hold against your alibi, particularly if you live alone. but if for some reason they really think you killed a guy, you should let them search your stuff, let them interrogate your friends. if you did your job right they should have nothing that could possibly incriminate you. dont act like you have anything to hide, you shouldnt. and since you dont have anything to hide, and they wont have anything to go on, you will be scot free, but will never be able to kill again.
and that was my idea of a perfect crime.
Also, don’t use a gun. Every gun is registered to an owner and they can look it up. This will lead to you being mentioned in some way. Use a knife or something like that.
Jimman- some people didn’t come to this page by searching “The perfect crime”, instead they went on listverse and found it or searched for something that led them to listverse.
crazy stuff,do you know who is reading all you wrote in here.if you want to commit any crime ,first shut the fu.c up.good lack
Of course,if you wanted to commit the perfect crime (and get away with it!) it would be a great advantage if you could make yourself invisible. No problem! Who are the people in today’s society that don’t merit a glance? Pensioners, of course. I shall commit my crime disguised as a dear little old lady, dressed in clothes from the charity shop, large booties and woolly gloves to disguise foot- and fingerprints, headscarf and grey wig to avoid dropping tell-tale hairs, and Tesco carrier bags for gun, breadknife, garrotting clothes-line etc. underneath a wilting cabbage!
Clue for M. Poirot – my crime will be committed in Yorkshire. Yes, you cow, you know who you are! Hehehehee (evil laugh!)
Clue for US reders – look up IRONY in the dictionary.
Cool! But I prefer hypnotizing someone then let him/her do the crime for you, in case he/she gets caught just tell him/her to commit suicide!
Having been faced with this issue in real life many times before (and no you couldn’t catch me even if you tried really hard…) I recommend the following; all throw aways, a tight alibi, a good attorney, and a really great acting ability.
First, get used to cops screwing with you. I deal with it everyday and they still can’t connect dot A to dot B. That’s how it should be. Cops are just a legal form of organized crime when you get to the foundation of this. Give them no evidence, no probable cause, and no testimony in any case or situation. Call your attorney, and say nothing else.
Secondly, learn ALOT about computers. Using custom/homemade software and being able to thrust ip addresses, etc.. you can communicate by pc and it can be untraceable.
Become a great actor and when you think you’ve become good, take classes and get better. You only get one opportunity to be surpised for the first time regardless of the event taking place. Failing to plan for every contingency is planning to fail. Always ask “what if this (scenerio placed here happens)?”
Study psychology. Learn how people think, act, and feel, and what makes them do so. People are just animals to begin with and they act like cattle. Most deserve to be slaughtered when it happens because they placed themselves in that situation due to not being educated, too stupid to be educated, being weak , sick (addiction, addicted people act irrationally no matter what), and following the herd mentality.
No witnesses no matter who they are. One person can keep a secret. two people are always able to give up the other when placed in a situation where they squirm. And everybody has one. And I’ve never in my many years met a woman who couldn’t shut the hell up. No women ever. No offense but its in their nature.
Use a knife; much harder to trace, no noise, thrust the blade into the base of the skull from behind. Twist hard. Instant death and little or no noise, they drop like a sack of dirty clothes and not as much blood as one might think. Use a common one, no need for anything special, just a nice well built 6″ blade with a finger guard that doesn’t fold. The finger gaurd helps prevent cutting yourself. If you do, you’re as good as caught. DNA everwhere.
With guns there’s always blowback, residue, chemicals, etc…. Noise is you’re enemy. Generic gloves, drop the knife better yet leave it in the target, burn your clothes and change before going home, have a safe site to dispose fo clothes and any possible evidence, don’t drive anywhere near the event site, always fit into the background, never go back for anything, and finally, learn about the art of urban camoflouge.
Best case event: don’t do it. If you have to, listen to the advice in the column and if you’re using you’re own computer you’ve already been busted so don’t do it.
I’ve known many contracts and the best advice on that is not to ever know one. There is no such thing as a friend in the business, and all friends are expendable, especially when it comes to your freedom. And money, money is more valuable than freedom to the right/wrong people. Freedom can be bought as it has many, many times. No replacement for cash. Ever.
For what its worth, have a great lawyer who knows what you did in every detail and protects you no matter what because you’re paying him/her to misdirect the facts and testimonies and they know that your reach and touch is much further than just a prison cell. They’ll find a way to make the case go away. And as long as you remain a great client, they’ll stay alive.
Have a nice day.
The body is the best piece of evidence. It not only tells me how the person died, but when he/she died and by what he/she was killed. The first interpretation of the evidence comes from the postmortem.
It is possible to kill someone without leaving any marks on the body. Just below the ear is the main blood vessel the carotid artery; any stimulation to this part of the neck is very dangerous. Pressure on the carotid artery can cause the heart to stop suddenly. But generally speaking injuries and marks are caused because people go over the top and apply far too much pressure, and they do leave marks and injuries. One thing to remember is that we can look in very special ways. We can dissect the neck and discover bruising underneath the skin that can’t be seen on the outside. I can tell if a person has been dragged by vertical markings on the heels and bruising under the pits of the arm.
Hypostasis is a change that occurs naturally within the body. This change causes the red blood cells to settle in the blood vessels under the influence of gravity. Because the blood pools in the areas of the body which are closest to the ground the pattern of hypostasis gives us a record of the position of the body at the time of death. People will dump a body and run, but if a body is found face down and the pattern of the hypostasis is on the underside of the body then we know the body has been moved and dumped.
As for determining the time of death of the victim the best a pathologist can do is a 5 ½ hour spread. This 5 ½ implies only within the first 24 hours of death. Anything later than 24 hours that spread gets bigger and bigger. After a few days a pathologist will no longer be able to determine the time of death. As a body decomposes the information pathologists rely on quickly disappears. This is where expertise in entomology comes in.
Wrapping a dead body will delay the access of insects to the dead flesh. Insects can keep markings of evidence for weeks, months, and even years. By collecting the most mature samples of insects entomologists can then work backwards from there and discover when the insect eggs were laid, which corresponds to the time of death and which most of the time is 95% accurate. Temperature, weather, and species of insects have to be taken into account for accurate time of death results.
Dismembering bodies can make our jobs much more difficult, but not impossible. Sulpheric acid can completely dissolve most of the tissue in the human body. It would take around 27 gallons of sulpheric acid and several weeks to dissolve a whole body. Acid can’t dissolve fat. For instance if a person had a gall stone it wouldn’t be dissolved because it is covered in thick layers of fat. I could dissect the stone and obtain DNA. Also getting enough sulpheric acid to dissolve a human body is impossible. Washing powder that you can buy at stores and use at home can dissolve most soft tissue but not all. Even with just bones remaining we could solve the crime.
An icicle crafted properly could pierce a body and bone and most likely not leave any markings on the bones. The ice would melt at the scene and the murder weapon would disappear. However, getting this ice weapon to the victim would be extremely difficult and conspicuous.
We can get trace evidence off just about anything these days. We can retrieve fingerprints off clothes and carpet; footprints off carpet, and of course hair. Every cell in the body except red blood cells contains DNA. Every time you walk, talk, breathe, and even blink you shed DNA. I can use a few cheek cells from you talking or a few mucous cells from you breathing and create a DNA profile, and therefore find the killer.
A perfect murder is possible even with all the technology we have these days, but a person who commits a perfect murder will most likely kill again and again and they will eventually make a mistake and leave evidence and we forensic scientists only have to get lucky once.
I’m speaking with 20 years as a pathologists, 10 years studying entomology, and of course all my lawyer and detective friends out there that solve crimes and put criminals behind bars daily.
lol i think its funny how the “evidence seeker” explains all the ways someone could qet cauqht up, and simultaneously everyone shuts up.. he was the last comment. =)
Hmm. I’ve read 3/4 the comments and came to a conclusion. Believe me, this was hard to think of.
The perfect crime is a crime not committed, but more of created without voluntary action or the simplicity of resolving itself into course. As one person previously posted, the smart ones just chat but take no action, and the even smarter ones just read but do absolutely nothing.
The perfect crime is something a person could do without even knowing what has been done. If the crime does not exist, did it ever really happen?
Murder and stealing. They both require an action, a voluntary sequence of actions created by the one committing them. However, it is not uncommon that more than one mind can create the same crime working together for the same outcome.
The only perfect crime I know of is the crime of being alive. Like it or not, you are always doing something to effect another person, creature or even material in another way.
I may be full of useless information, but I stand by what I know and what I know is just that.
The perfect crime is the crime not committed.
Please take this semi-useless information for your own advantages and enjoy.
I hope I have just wasted 5 minutes of someones life. No refunds.
Yes, I am aware of the spelling error on the last sentence. It was for my own amusement if someone took me seriously.
Oh and while i’m just throwing useless information out there that 99% of the population on these comments do nothing with but read for entertainment, heres a tip.
Do not park your arse in a chair playing video games for 4+ years.
What you should do is park your arse in a COMFY chair then play video games for 4+ years. Big difference.
Believe me when I say this because i’ve seen what it does to some people. A little disturbing sight to say the least.
(Yes, I am very bored at the moment and may never look at these comments again.)
this list is good….. cover all clothes.. when done, burn put in garbage bag and sink in river or water body. Leave murder weapon a little distance from crime to give police time to search for it … will make investigation time longer so case can go cold. Dont plant *****. Kill all accomplices too. DOn’t tell anyone anything.
Trying to dispose of a body in the ocean is often a bad idea (just ask our friend Scott Petersen). Gaining access to a boat, especially while carrying a bulky “package” can be a conspicuous exercise, even if the killer takes to the sea routinely (we know that Scott was a weekend fisherman, but going “fishing” on the eve of your wife’s mysterious disappearance is an unfortunate coincidence to have to explain away). Beyond this, body parts at sea tend to partially decompose before floating free in random chunks; bindings tend to come untethered due to the ebb and flow of currents; and torsos and feet (especially those in laced high top sneakers) not fully digested by marine life, will often wash ashore. The force of the elements at work in a salt water environment are powerful and unpredictable. But if you dispose of your body in a shallow grave in any handy wooded area, even you will be challenged to find the body again, and even if you want to (or if you forgot to take a keepsake the first time around and attempt to exhume the body after the fact). This is a documented fact, since many convicted serial killers have attempted to bargain for a delay of execution in exchange for revealing the whereabouts their woodland victims, only to find that they themselves can’t find the remains, despite having disposed of the corpse, up close and personal, not long before. Take my advice and use the woods instead.
stab them with an ice sicle….self destructing evidence
Wow im concerned if this is the best these people can do we may end up in crime free world and what fun would that be
im gonna go kill someone
I don’t think you were careful enough about not leaving evidence behind. In the first place I would crazy glue the tips of your finders to prevent the possibility of leaving prints. One should shave every bit of hair off of your body including your head and eyelashes. Then you should scrub your skin vigorously with an exfoliant and abrasive to limit the possibility of leaving skin fragments. Also make sure you remove any nasal or ear hair and blow your nose hard at a distance from the crime carefully and discretely discarding the tissue. An inopportune sneeze could seed the crime area and seal your fate. If you are a ***** offender and your DNA is on record, be very, very careful. Do NOT eat beans or milk products, especially if you are lactose intolerant. I have read case reports in which micro-feces particles can be detect from explosive flatus. Likewise, sometimes what feels like a fart can be something all together different. Finally, try not to breath while at the crime scene. I hope this helps.
Great list, and some really great comments. What I find most amusing are the commenters who took this way too seriously and were absolutely disgusted. Come on, have a sense of humor. It’s not like everyone who read this is going to go out and commit a crime.
Good list, but most of the comments are about murder. Just some stuff i’ve learnt, don’t carry weapons, learn how to fight instead. If your caught in someones back garden have a flyer for gardening and ask them do they need any odd jobs taken care off. Its better to have drugs together than in little bags, never have a list of who owes you what, keep more than one phone, not to mix business and pleasure. Do not bring a phone with you to commit a major crime. Use glass cutters to break into a house… in housing estates very few people sleep on the ground floor. If you are going to steal a car always break into a house to get the keys first. ATM machines have very bad cameras which dont work well at night so all you need to do is go to an area that is not well lit and wear a scarf. I could write a book on shoplifting. Beat someone up one on one…your word against theres in court. Now any advice for me… Oh and a police scanner is well worth it. If you are doing a job in a rural area there will generally be just one police car… dont ring 999 as it will be recorded but the actually police station and report a crime elsewhere in any accent that is different to yours
I stole tons of stuff when i was 13.
i just dont understdand y u are suposed 2 leave da gun y not just take it wit u seein ad that it said not 2 leave any evidence
Oh My God. What happened to ENGLISH?
As long as you have a fire arm that is not registered, stolen, or purchased on the street… (aka) Not in your name, you should always leave it at the scene. Even if you handle the fire arm, you can wash it to clear your prints. Washing with soap and water, like seen in the movies can and usually will leave prints behind. The best method to remove prints is alcohol, the type for infections not consumption or equivelant. There after, holding the fire arm with gloves on, making sure to load the fire arm with the gloves as well, leaves no trace evidence. (Most of the time). So later on, if you keep the gun, ballistics cannot match you to the fire arm in question.
Haha, found it funny when I first saw this article. How to commit the perfect crime, and right after that how to survive prison haha!
Hello everybody..
I need advices.. In case that i want to burn alive someone, what is the best way to do that?
Just a heads up – Do NOT dispose of a body in water (unless it is literally in the middle of the ocean.) Gases build up from decaying tissue makes the body bouyant. A body can become so bouyant that it will float to the top even if it is weighted down.
More tips for the perfect crime:
http://www.forensiccrimescene.com/
To cover up finger prints, go to your local costume shop and buy a bottle of Liquid Latex.
Put latex on the inside of a rubber glove, insert your hand covered in another glove, let dry, and proceed to commit any crime without fear of leaving prints.
Thankz for the tipz, they kinda all seem to have some flawz. I’ve been reserching a lot lately because i’ve been thinking about becoming a forensics speacialist, and there really is NO PERFECT CRIME, there is alwayz a chance and a possibility! A chance that while your in the act, someone or something will interfere and cause you to be caught, or to leave evidence. I.E Robbing a store with a diguise, and a cop happens to walk in. Or if your doing random killing cause your just *****ed up and want to kill someone, even the most random time and random person…. Each step of that process carries chances of thingz going wrong, people seeing you. I Hope that nobody reading this list actually thinkz that they can do it…. Because THE NUMBER ONE REASON MORE PEOPLE DON’T KILL IS FOR FEAR OF BEING CAUGHT. Everyone no matter how good and pure, has a dark side, a side that is kept to only them and only there internal thoughtz, everybody has a little Cain in them! No person is without sin. With MUrDeR and Other Large Crimez carrying such a long Prison sentence… People suppress these urges and brush them off and forget about them. The people who are very intelligent usually act very unintelligent in thinking that they or so smart that they can get around it. Maby once… Maby twice…. Eventually something won’t go to plan, someone won’t be as planned. Enjoy Your Freedom While You Have It, and Leave all Your Thoughtz for EVIL locked up inside you as they should be, it is how we as humans have existited for so long without Anarchy!
yeah…cool
If someone is actually thinking of doing this they would not be on this site. If you are that stupid at least take out the problem sources in this country if you want to do some good. Like for instance black, brown, yellow.
If anyone is going to come back and deny the facts, please by all means include a link in which I will be prooved wrong. The facts and statistics do not lie. Incarcerated males consists of 80% justs blacks and hispanics. If you are in this room and meet those requirements sorry, but I am not a white sup. I just go by what is proven. It really *****es me off that you can not do your crime better, and make everyone else pay to keep you *****s alive in prison. If you know you are going to be caught just do your family and the country a huge favor and end what life you have before you ***** up and create pain for those who love you and for those who don’t. Get a grip!
Do your crime in a small town. I lived in one for a long time and I can tell you unless it is something huge or Federal they won’t pursue it. We had a major drug raid twice in a ten year period that netted two bus loads of dealers both times. Plus all the cops I knew very well were ususally all in one place late at night. If I were a dishonest person there is no doubt I could have gotten away with a lot of theft if it was kept to a rate of every two to three months.Best thing to say is don’t do the crime, but I hope law enforcement takes a look at your suggestions as a better way to investigate a crime.
If you kill a guy, make sure to plant evidence of an ex-girlfriend of his (or a female co-worker) around the crime scene. Then follow it up by putting super-glue on his tallywacker.
The immediate evidence just screams “a woman scorned” and lazy law enforcement won’t go much further than that.
Allot is said about the copmuter and how it can be connected to you but in todays society we can look this up on an ipod or a phone can this be traced back to you?
Disposing of a body in a body of water, particularly a very deep lake, is actually an excellent way of getting rid of it, IF you do it correctly. Simply tossing it into the water with a rock tied to it won’t cut it. As the gasses build up, that sucker is gonna float. If you’re going to go with the water disposal, you have to field dress the body. Gut it, remove the internal organs that can bloat up with gas, then fill the body cavity with heavy stones or cinder blocks, whatever. Then wrap the body up in rabbit wire to prevent the weights from becoming dislodged. Can’t use chicken wire, it would rust out in the water too fast, and can’t use a tarp or something more solid because you need the little fishies, etc, to have easy access to the flesh as it decomps.
Of course you’re still at risk of some fisherman hooking into it, but assuming you dumped it off in water that’s at least 40 ft deep, it’s pretty minimal.
Most of all though, no one can know. An old criminal justice professor of mine told me once the only way two people can keep a secret is if one of ‘em is dead. He said that the majority of criminals get caught not because of DNA, or fingerprints (a little steam, some super glue, and someone else’s fingerprints can be a lot of fun if you want to pin it on the someone else), or smart detective work, but because someone blabbed. Usually the perp’s girlfriend or wife gets mad and blabs to a friend, who tells someone else, who gets pinched on some petty drug bust and rolls over to save his own ass.
The idea that you should commit your crime in a rural area because no one will do anything? I live in a rural area… population under 1000. Our po po probably won’t do anything to catch the criminal, you’re right. That’s because we’re all so heavily armed here that it’s doubtful the perp will be alive by the time he arrives on the scene. We all know who belongs here, and who doesn’t, and we subscribe to the philosophy of the 3 S’s.
Shoot.
Shovel.
STFU
one thing i think you should always remember, is to stay level and don’t think about your crime or don’t think of it as a crime, cause although methods like a lie detecting test are not completely accurate it is still possible to determine a persons guilt by his body language, so if you have a sweating issue or a mannerism to blink a lot of something avoid doing crimes. figure out patterns in your life that would be problematic when trying to achieve a crime, such as if you leave a note to psych the police and you normally write with a lot of periods then figure out those kinds of patterns and take note of them when making your note.
you guys have it all wrong the perfect crime is to rape a dead baby live is good too but they cry too much
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I’m evil, I know I am! I just know it! And now, with the help of your list, I will finally dispose of that accursed platypus and rule the entire Tri-State area!!!
Simply read Patricia Cornwell’s The Stranger Beside me. Il be damned if i get caught.
I’ve thought about committing the perfect crime for quite some time. The roadblocks I always run into is familiarty with the area, & DNA or witnesses. Witnesses are easy enough to handle, all they can say is what they see.. U can drive around, find someone who’s car is the same make as yours, confiscate their tags & ditch them 10 min after committing the act. DNA is also a no brainer, wear gloves & don’t get close enough to get cut, bitten, or anything else. Guns?? Who buys registered guns anymore?? U can go to Kentucky, NC, SC, or a state over from where ever you are to steal a gun. If push comes to shove just find a young single woman with a baby that lives by her self, 1 out of 3 of those own a gun. Break in when they’re not home & get it. If DNA could be a issue or they pulled out some hair b/c U got to close. Go down to the local barbershop & go dumpster diving, they’ll never figure that one out. If it comes down to skin under their nails or hand prints torch the place, If it has a gas stove kill the Pilot light, put it all the way on & throw some tin foil in the Microwave for 10 min before U leave.But I don’t think murder is the way to go in the first place. I am an evil person, I believe in hurting someone so badly that they can’t recover & you get to think of them suffering. Forget murder, go pay some kid that looks older than 18 to have ***** with that person then have them go & confess (Make sure they can’t Identify you though). Get that person locked up for having ***** with a minor & see how long they last in prison. If they do get out go to their neighborhood & post up flyers at night to let everyone know they’re a child molestor.. See how long they last in the real world. Killing someone in quite isn’t the way to go. U get others to do it for you. 1st rule to not getting caught is not to do it at all, get someone else to do it that doesn’t have to worry about dealing with the consequences.
i do my dirt all by my lonely. dont ask dont tell… any questions????