Having spent time studying ninjutsu (under the Bujinkan dojos), I have long wanted to put a list like this together. Here I look at some of the historic myths and even some of the ridiculous modern myths that have sprung up about this truly fascinating art. Ninjutsu is a serious martial art – it is nothing like the movies portray, though its history does explain partly the reason that so many “mystical” myths have arisen over the years.
Myth: Real ninjas are a myth
In fact, ninjas and the arts that they learnt date back to over eight hundred years ago. The ninja families developed their skills in order to protect themselves against the likes of Samurai warriors. It is this humble beginning that gives ninjutsu its very unique style: escape if you can, if you can’t, kill. There was nothing unethical to the ninja – he would throw sand in the enemies eyes, stab them when they were down, anything to protect life and limb. Over time the ninjas were used as spies, bodyguards (right up to the last emperor), and assassins for hire.
Myth: As a matter of course, Ninjas caught swords with their bare hands
This is not entirely true – and the video clip above has a particular moment that illustrates why. At 07:38 Grandmaster Hatsumi (current Bujinkan grandmaster who studied under the last true combat Ninja Toshitsugu Takamatsu who served as the bodyguard to the last Chinese Emperor – see the video clip in item 5) demonstrates how to deal with an incoming sword in the greatest Ninja fashion: “Just get out of the way.” If you watch the whole clip you will see that almost every possible sword attack can be deflected (and turned to your advantage) without needing to go near the weapon. Of course in movies it looks flash to have a ninja catch a sword – but there would be very little need to do so when a Ninja has so many other techniques in his arsenal. Having said that, using claws or other hand weapons, if it were necessary, a Ninja might stop a sword with the weapons he is holding – but not with his bare hands.
Myth: Ninjas wore masks when fighting and black clothes; it is their uniform.
This is entirely false. These days most ninjas who are working as bodyguards would wear a suit or similar modern clothing. So when might a ninja have worn a mask? Maybe eight hundred years ago if they had to hide in the trees – but even then it was not part of a “uniform”. A ninja wearing a mask is no different to a soldier wearing camouflage paint. It depends entirely on the environment and the need for hiding. This, of course, is true also of black clothing.
Myth: Ninjas were able to vanish
This myth has come about because of the first ninja rule: get away. If a ninja can avoid fighting, he will. In order to achieve this goal, he might need to create a diversion of some kind, such as throwing shuriken, setting off a smoke bomb (as in the image above), or throwing sand in the opponent’s eyes. By the time the opponent recovered from the distraction, the ninja would be gone. There is no magic involved here – just commonsense.
Myth: Ninjas can’t kill just by touching
I bet you weren’t expecting that! In fact, there are a series of touches (this word is used lightly as a decent amount of pressure is needed) that can render a person dead. This is quite logical when you consider that a firm enough blow to the temple can kill a person. The deadly methods are normally only taught to the most advanced students who, by that time, would never need to use them. Fundamental pressure point techniques, however, are taught from the very beginning and even the most basic student can take a person to the floor with one finger (pressed firmly in the right part of the throat, or in the eyeballs for example). Pressure points cause a lot of pain when pressed in the right way – they are an indispensable tool for the Ninja. Furthermore, simple tools like squeezing nipples can also render an offender defenseless in seconds. In the clip above you can see Grandmaster Hatsumi squeezing his opponents nipple – the look of pain on the guy’s face says it all. You can see this around the 03:40 mark.
Myth: Ninjutsu refers to fighting methods
In fact, it means the art of stealth and perseverance – it is about the strategy and tactics of fighting. The actual moves are from a variety of different martial art disciplines. In the most common and most authentic version of Ninjutsu (Bujinkan Budō Taijutsu), eighteen disciplines form the main basis of training:
1. Seishin-teki kyōkō (spiritual refinement)
2. Taijutsu (unarmed combat, using one’s body as the only weapon)
3. Kenjutsu (sword fighting)
4. Bōjutsu (stick and staff fighting)
5. Shurikenjutsu (throwing shuriken)
6. Sōjutsu (spear fighting)
7. Naginatajutsu (naginata fighting)
8. Kusarigamajutsu (kusarigama fighting)
9. Kayakujutsu (pyrotechnics and explosives)
10. Hensōjutsu (disguise and impersonation)
11. Shinobi-iri (stealth and entering methods)
12. Bajutsu (horsemanship)
13. Sui-ren (water training)
14. Bōryaku (tactic)
15. Chōhō (espionage)
16. Intonjutsu (escaping and concealment)
17. Tenmon (meteorology)
18. Chi-mon (geography)
In the clip above you can see Grandmaster Toshitsugu Takamatsu with a student. This is an important clip as Toshitsugu Takamatsu was the last true combat Ninja and the teacher of the current Bujinkan grandmaster (Masaaki Hatsumi – he is speaking on the clip).
Myth: Shuriken (throwing stars) are used to kill at a distance
In fact, shuriken are used as a secondary weapons – either to slash or stab. When they are thrown it is normally to cause a distraction as you can see in the video clip above (around 01:08). Shuriken come in two varieties: Hira-shuriken (the famous ninja star) which were originally household items (such as washers and coins that were used to distract and were not usually sharp), and Bo-shuriken which are straight spikes up to 21cm in length. These were also originally household items (as were most Ninja weapons) such as chopsticks or hairpins. Their origins certainly makes it clear that these were not intended as killing weapons.
Myth: Ninjas only use ancient Japanese weapons
Yes – they do, but not exclusively. Ninjas are often trained in modern weaponry as well – and many of the so-called “ancient” weapons are not ancient at all – they are modern takes on ancient concepts (such as the shuriken whose origins lie in coins as mentioned above). Also note in the list of disciplines above “Kayakujutsu” – this is the art of gunpowder. Ninjas have long used gunpowder to their advantage – either to create smoke screens, or even bombs. In the video clip above you can see Ninjutsu skills applied to gun disarmament. Notice how each movement is not just to remove the weapon, but to use it against the assailant in often unorthodox ways.
Myth: Ninjas need to be strong and fast
In fact, the whole point of ninjutsu is to use your body effectively – whether you are fat or thin short or tall. You don’t need speed – in fact speed can work against you. What you need is the ability to predict your opponents move and outthink him. By calm and steady movements you gain control of the enemy and ultimately the fight. In all of the video clips here you can see how slowly Soke Hatsumi moves – granted a lot of it is to demonstrate the move, but notice how his less qualified opponents move faster than he does and he ends up taking them down simply by lightly gripping a part of their body and walking. Much of Ninjutsu is about foot movement and natural positioning. It is this which allows the ninja to retain his balance in all manner of unusual situations. In the image above, we see Hatsumi in a very relaxed position within milliseconds of having thrown his opponent (the guy flying over his head).
Myth: Pirates are better than ninjas
This long-raging Internet debate is just silly – there is no doubt at all that ninjas are far better and pirates just utterly suck in comparison. There has never been a recorded case of a pirate beating a ninja. Pirates have a cutlass and hook hand but little else to fight with – plus lots of lace and fancy clothes; whereas a ninja has a whole slew of weapons and light-weight clothes which give him an advantage before they even begin. Furthermore, if the pirate looks like he might be winning – the ninja can just jump off the ship and run on water to the nearest island.
So – how do you know when you are a good ninja? There is a test used around the 5th Dan level (these levels are not really for anything more than rating how well you are doing – it certainly means nothing in the world world where ability to survive matters most) – this test is called the sakki test. In it, the teacher stands behind the student with a sword (usually made of wood in these tests) above his head. He brings the sword down and (hopefully) the student will “feel” the intention and move out of the way. This can be very embarrassing if you are not read as you end up with a hell of a whack on your head. In the video clip above we see students who are definitely ready for the test. Once you have watched that, check this one out to see some very uncomfortable fails. Ouch.
Can you tell I love this stuff? This is a video clip from an eighties movie called “Power of Ninjutsu”. I have included it to show you why Ninjas have a bad name and where some of the ridiculous myths have come from. Line of note: “Ninja… I am a ninja too!”


















April 24th, 2009 at 1:30 am
comment cherry broke!!!
April 24th, 2009 at 1:30 am
p.s. awesome list!
April 24th, 2009 at 1:46 am
I believe this whole list was a ruse to emphasise the ninja´s superiority over pirates.
April 24th, 2009 at 1:49 am
all hail the ninjas!
man, aren’t they just awesome?
anyway, nice list, already knew some of these facts, though
April 24th, 2009 at 1:53 am
mow a new list about pirates please
April 24th, 2009 at 1:54 am
pirates > ninjas … pirates have guns
April 24th, 2009 at 1:57 am
One question: What does ninja do, when the guy with the shotgun finds out it is quite effective from a range longer than 2 feet? Seriously even the French army could beat ninjas.
April 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am
@ BA88:
That’s weak shit. Ninjas don’t NEED guns.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Best list ever!!
Ninjas and stalking older ladies are my 2 best pass times!!
Thank you for that! Now, would it be possible to make a list of techniques to stalk women efficiently?
April 24th, 2009 at 2:10 am
Forget about those pansy pirates, what about Vikings.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:11 am
@ Matt1
no, no, no.
pirates > ninjas.
because you can shoot someone from the boat and ninjas can walk on water.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:16 am
They’d be dead before he got to use is AnonX. That’s the point of the ninja, to sneak up and assassinate, not fight face to face.
Ninja’s ftw.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:16 am
Errr sorry, that’s he would be dead – the guy with the shotgun.
April 24th, 2009 at 2:49 am
BA88: Ninjas had gunpowder before pirates existed!
April 24th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Travis: that might be overstepping the bounds a little… but I will think about it
April 24th, 2009 at 3:07 am
Uh oh this is definatly gonna be another pirates VS ninjas battleground..
April 24th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Misconceptions about ninjas:
If you see a ninja, he is *NOT* a ninja.
@ jftrater : just an idea… no pressure
April 24th, 2009 at 3:32 am
nice one!
April 24th, 2009 at 3:38 am
Great list!!!
When would you wear yellow and a big red NINJA headband for camouflage I wonder?
April 24th, 2009 at 4:00 am
I want to be a ninja…
April 24th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Cool list. I love that show Fight Science where they compared different forms of martial arts and they had that one guy who did Ninjitsu. He was hot.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:24 am
*can’t
(message #11 lol)
@jfather: pirates exist before the creation of the world.
pirates > chuck norris > ninjas
April 24th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Mihai: and there you would be wrong.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Great list, Jamie. I was surprised to realize how many of these I already knew to be myths. Love the narrative on #1!
April 24th, 2009 at 5:03 am
I just don’t know when to leave well enough alone, so I have to say this…
First, about ninjas in black, didn’t a previous list state that ninjas would wear dark blue, not black, at night to blend in with the night sky?
Second, I believe I’ve read somewhere before that ninjas became feared by the Japanese emporer, and then banned, centuries ago, and that there haven’t been any true ninjas since that time. I’m pulling this from memory, and can’t cite sources, but I know I’ve read this in different places.
Now, if point number two is true, then pirates have already beaten ninjas! True ninjas are extinct, and pirates are still going strong (think Somalia). If true ninjas aren’t extinct, then they should be sent into Somolia to end pirates once and for all…
April 24th, 2009 at 5:34 am
Not to take sides… but Pirates rule more
Interesting list though.
Good job.
April 24th, 2009 at 5:35 am
@ 19 emc u would probably find that specific ninja at Mcdonalds
April 24th, 2009 at 6:01 am
You’ve been in a mythbusting mood lately, J. Old legends, vikings, ninjas. I like it!
April 24th, 2009 at 6:15 am
Pirates have guns and Johnny Depp. Ninjas… not so much. They lose.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:33 am
This was a great list. However, I think we established that Vikings would win overall.
I watch Naruto with my kid and love the ninja arts. When I was younger I wanted to be Sub-Zero.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:49 am
@msulli222: Screw Johnny Depp, Ninja’s got Chris Farley and we all know how well he is doi….oh wait
April 24th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Awesome List! I’m kind of torn in the whole ninja vs. pirate debate. Ninjas are definitely more bad-ass but pirates have the best lines. Arrrhhh Matey. Shiver me timbers. Let’s have a look at that booty. Oh, and who could forget the rum!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:02 am
another myth: ninjas can fly
April 24th, 2009 at 7:06 am
The trolls on ListVerse exhibit ninja-like traits: they post, destroy the thread with surgical precision and then disappear into the mist.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I have never understood this whole pirates vs. ninjas debate. Isnt it obvious to everyone that ninjas would kick pirate ass? On one hand you´ve got a rum-soaked, frilly dressed, peg-legged man and on the other a stealthy SOB who can kill you with his bare hands? Is this even a fair contest?!?
Jamie: the guy in picture 2 is hilarious… When I first saw the pic, I thought the guy was purposefully flying over his head… And then I read that he had just been thrown by the old man calmy squatting on the floor (it looks like he´s chatting with someone?!)… I would love to learn ninjutsu but I´m such a klutz…
April 24th, 2009 at 7:12 am
On this one day of the year, in honor of #1 on the list:
Ninjas could kick pirates asses any time any place
(would have posted sooner but it took me about 5 minutes stop laughing)
April 24th, 2009 at 7:17 am
What are you doing JFrater!? You have revealed our ninja secrets to the world!
Bahahahaha! Love the list, ninjas would win, why? Because pirates can’t aim. Full stop. Before a pirate can even aim for a ninja, the ninja would be behind him, ready to do some damage! Actually, this is even before the pirate realises there is a ninja after him.
So ninjas FTW!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:25 am
JFrater: Ninjas could not have existed before pirates. Therefor, they could not have had gunpowder before pirates existed. Sea-faring warriors have been around for as long as there have been sea-faring merchants; long before ninjas.
Now, not to play down the abilities of the ninja, which is more prevalent today? Pirates.
Which has existed longer? Pirates.
Which have more global range and effect? Pirates.
Which have terrorized colonies and naval powers? Pirates.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:26 am
If you have doubts about ninjas, watch:
American Ninja (1985)
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)
American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)
American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1990)
Michael Dudikoff could take them all… he’s like the Rambo of ninjas!!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Plus… sometimes when you less expect it a ninja will take off the mask and turn out to be a gorgeous looking japanese girl!!
While pirates are always fat drunks with no teeth!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:32 am
38. travisthechimp
Ah but you are mistaken Mr. Travis… it was the Chinese who invented gunpowder, therefore, the Asians (thus the Japanese) had their hands on gunpowder before any such pirates.
You are correct though that pirates have been around for longer. Regardless, in a mano o mano fight, ninjas would win over pirates… pirates may have dealt more resounding damage to the world, but ninjas are superiour in combat…
Plus, how do you know how ninjas have affected the world? You simply don’t because ninjas do things in secret. Therefore, you cannot gauge how much more effect pirates have had over ninjas.
=P… Ninjas win!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:37 am
I don’t know how number 1 is a myth, I’ve never heard it. It sounds silly to me, but good list with some cool vids.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Good list Jamie
i was so fascinated by ninjas when i was a kid that i broke my leg jumping off the storage roof trying to act like one!
I wish LV’d do a list of cats – love cats
April 24th, 2009 at 7:41 am
archangel: I knew that gunpowder had been used by ninjas before pirates, which is why I phrased what I said in the way I did: they could not have had gunpowder before pirates existed vice before pirates had gunpowder.
The nature of a ninja is stealth. The nature of a pirate is ransacking and generally running amok. If fighting mano o mano, I would believe that the pirate would have an upper hand in that he would be more battle-hardened from miscellaneous fights ashore and afloat. If the ninja could not use stealth to fight or escape, I really think the pirate would have the upper hand.
If it can not be proven that a ninja affected the world, then I can only assume that one has not done so. Perhaps it is the clandestine nature of ninjas; but pirates are more effective.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:22 am
NiNjas FTW Pirates ARE Fucken OVER-RATED
April 24th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Mike_Dude666: After such a compelling argument, I might consider withdrawing my vote for the pirate. No, not really.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:24 am
so basically the argument of ninja vs. pirate is…
how would a ninja avoid a gunshot?
i know ninjas used gunpowder, but not for firing guns.
i know ninjas are fast/stealthy, but fast enough to dodge bullets?
reminds me of the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is faced with a sword-wielding assassin (i know – not a true pirate vs. ninja, but close enough in concept).
He just pulls his gun and shoots him.
now, in the case of sword on sword combat, i’m pretty sure a ninja would win
April 24th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Ninjas are Pirates of their Era!!
April 24th, 2009 at 8:41 am
everyone with a right mind knows pirates are better then ninjas
and 41.. archangel
remember what most people think of ninjas are the Japanese ones and japan was very isolationist and didn’t really start to use gunpowder effectively until after the Europeans came
and yes the pirate came before ninjas as long as there has has been boat there have been pirates
plus there is the inverse ninja law
which states the more ninja the weaker they are thus you just get enough pirates and you can take out the strongest ninja
April 24th, 2009 at 8:43 am
now remember sword vs sword
trhe ninja is usually shwon using something along the line of a shorter katana
while the pirate will us a rapier, sabre or cutlass
the rapier is longer and the cutlass is much heavier
folks remember katanas arnt as great as everyone says they are
April 24th, 2009 at 8:48 am
oh an jfrater what have you done, you know there is going to be a large debate on here
April 24th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Just to weigh in on the whole “pirates had cannons and guns” debate – our classic concept of pirates used low-tech, smooth bore, muzzle-loading flintlock/percussion cap/matchlock pistols (which is essentially the same technology as cannons). Due to the lack of rifling and the very SHORT barrel, these weapons were notoriously inaccurate. Couple that with the whole “motion of the ocean” either caused by the rum, the sea, or both, it’s highly unlikely that the shot would even get close to the ninja in the first place. If the gun didn’t misfire, that is (a “flash in the pan”).
And unless you have two pistols, it’s gonna take you at least 30 seconds to reload that pistol. More than enough time for the ninja.
Pirate gun fail.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:52 am
copperdragon:
In that scene the sword-wielding assassin stands in front of Indy for God know how long before Indy takes action. In your scenario you are assuming that the pirate already has the gun in his hand and the ninja is standing in front of him. A more likely scenario is that the ninja quickly kicks pirate ass as he´s trying to pull out his gun!
April 24th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Ninjas vs AIG? That would be a serious throwdown…
April 24th, 2009 at 9:07 am
JFrater is a NINJA?!?!?!?!?!
He has been deceiving us all along!! In true ninja style, he has used his superior skills of deception and cunning to avoid any suspicion, and now that he’s accomplished his ninja mission (which is a secret), he triumphantly reveals himself to us. Now we know that behind the awesomeness of Listverse was the awesome mind of a ninja all along (which sort of makes sense when you think about it…)
But now that he’s revealed his true identity, he must eliminate us all. That’s just the way it is for a ninja. In fact, he’s probably behind you right now, ready to finish you off.
Well played, Frater-san. Well played.
(Er, very nice list by the way
)
April 24th, 2009 at 9:09 am
A ninja would be rendered unconscious the moment he boarded the ship… by the pure stench of the pirates. I guess you could say it’s a pirate’s natural biological weapon — months and months of unwashed bodies, booze-soaked clothes, piss and puke and poop, rotting food, foul-smelling bilge water… ah, to be a pirate!
April 24th, 2009 at 9:20 am
55. Kreachure
Don’t think it has gone unnoticed that you were the originator of the great Pirates vs. Ninjas debate.
BRAVO!
April 24th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Bert and GTT:
I’m assuming a fight on land, where both would have equal time to ready their weapons.
If its on a boat, pirates would win because they’re used to being at sea, they have “sea-legs”. ninjas would be unstable. Its the pirates “home-turf”.
If its a distance battle, pirates would win because they have a more deadly distance weapon. Ninja have shruiken, but jfrater indicated they were more for distraction.
If its a sword to sword on-land battle, ninjas would win with their superior tactics, speed and balance. The pirates heavier sword would actually be a disadvantage (longer movements, slower time)
April 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I liked the list, but the last entry kind of ruined it. Pirates would own.
April 24th, 2009 at 9:43 am
I should have guessed! Great timing JF – still on the ball I see. Ahh, THIS is the place to end the ninja vs pirate debate, so hopefully the viking list will return to talking about, um, vikings?
Does anybody remember the classic computer game ‘The Last Ninja’? The sequal (with the genius title ‘The last Ninja 2′ was set in New York, not too dissimilar to that awesome clip in #1.
QUESTION: I was hoping the list would answer this, but I’m sure I will find an answer. According to myth, the ninja weapons were: the sword, the bamboo pole, the shuriken stars, nunchuku and the smoke bomb. Is this correct and definitive or did they also use paper fans, drug darts, daggers, and bamboo whips. And on a related note, who really did come up with the grappling hook? I assume the phrase ’sling yer hook’ comes from the navy?
Finally, as for the Indiana Jones senario: it’s a moot point since the ninja would not face an ‘enemy’ unless they already had the advantage to strike. Otherwise I’m sure they’d run for cover as I would. Those flintlocks were very inaccurate!
April 24th, 2009 at 9:59 am
The inaccuracy of pirate firearms is a point of exaggeration. The guns used by the pirates would have been accurate up to and slightly beyond 30 yards. Ninety feet is a long distance for a ship or land fight when your opponent lacks deadly ranged weapons, since the ninja ranged weapons were more for distraction.
Also, pirates would have been more savage in their attacks which would serve to disrupt the ninja coordination. Since the ninja defense relies heavily on timing and planning, a pirates vicious assault would leave the ninja unready.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:29 am
If Ninja’s are so good how come we don’t have an International dress up in your PJ’s and prance around like a fairy day? Whereas September 19th is of course International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So clearly Pirates win hands down. As for Vikings they didn’t even have Horns in their helmets (Just read the lists folks) the bunch of big girls blouses
April 24th, 2009 at 10:43 am
jfrater: you dont twitter anymore now do ya
April 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
MisterSir, if those people in those tiny boats are “pirates”, then ninjas are still around too. You can’t claim that people who maintain the ancient methods aren’t true ninjas when there are people in tiny boats and rafts out there getting ransom for ships. I believe that isn’t how it originally worked: they used to have their own ships, with cannons, right?
April 24th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Pirates clearly have more power than ninjas. As all us believers of the Pastafarian faith know, pirates are divine beings- divine (note: this only applies to the fun buccaneer kind from the movies, not the crazy terrorist ones of today)! Ninjas cannot say that much for themselves. I mean, pirates single-handedly kept the world from descending into global warming before they began to disappear- is it a coincidence that the earth’s temperatures are rising as the pirate population is decreasing? I think not. Pirates would kick ninja ass with their divine powers given to them by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Some may claim I am making this up. Not so! I have the Wikipedia entry on the Flying Spaghetti Monster to back me up. As we all know, if it is on Wikipedia, it is absolute and undeniable truth.
April 24th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
NINJA!
April 24th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Pirates have guns. End of that debate.
April 24th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
61: Travis thechump – “The inaccuracy of pirate firearms is a point of exaggeration.”, well… according to true life trials I’ve seen on TV, they were rubbish – and in untrained hands; useless. Using early guns had more to do with the skill of the user to actually load the thing, the quality and dryness of the powder, and the ability to light the fuse (it was a while before they eventually invented an automatic firing mechanism). Then, because these guns didn’t have rifling, the shots would often miss their target. I guess we’ll never know if a lowly brute pirate was trained in firearms, although I guess most had combat training, and probably ALL were trained to operate a ships cannon.
Still no thoughts on the grappeling hook? If you check wiki it says navy, but if you type it into google it says Ninja!
April 24th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Why would a pirate and a ninja fight in the first place?
April 24th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
To Marmalamuc, A ninja would never be in sight of the pirate to be shot by his slow, inaccurate flintlock pistol…. She would have taken her blow gun and shot a posion dart whilst he slept or was otherwise unaware of her presence. And I have seen a samurai deflect and cut in half a bullet. Granted it was a samurai but just pointing out that a student of sword play with skill can do amazing things. Google “Modern-day samurai Vs.” and watch the video!!!!!!!!
April 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I gave this lista lot of credibility until I read the thing about the pirates. I felt that wasn’t needed and took an informative list in a bad direction. I didn’t bother reading the 2 bonuses.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
china’s spacewalk was FAKED!!!
April 24th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
first time I hear that there is a dilemma between pirates and ninjas…Maybe 3y old kids playing with TMNTs and pirate figurines have such dilemma? Ninjitsu is respectable martial art. Pirates? Why is the rum gone…
April 24th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
3 ninjas were out fishing on a boat(why?…i dont know)they run out of bait and the first ninja says” ill go get some”..so out he goes, walking across the water, digs up some worms, and returns to the boat…the third ninja couldnt believe it..”we cant walk on water”, he thought…they were fishing for an hour and again ran out of bait…the second ninja gets up and does the same as the first..”unbelieveable” thought the third ninja” he says to the other two next time he’ll go…so they run out of worms and he gets up and step out of the boat, falls into the water and drowns(ninjas cant swin, pirates can…?)…the first ninja says to the second ninja” i guess we should have showed him where the stepping stones were”
April 24th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
My mom was a ninja and my dad was a pirate. Sure they’re divorced now but they get along fine. I don’t understand what people’s problem is. I’m proud of both of my heritages. And I must say when a pirate and a ninja mate what comes out is a Vampirate Ninja Witch Zombie Ghost Demon and nothing is as cool as that.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Navy SEALS vs Pirates & Ninjas.
No contest !
April 24th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Wow….. it amazes me how many people are so in love with a stupid Disney movie that they TOTALLY forget that ummm… Ninja were sea folk as well! Umm… duh…. Japan is an ISLAND that made/makes a lot of its lively hood from the sea. Therefore it is not crazy to think that MAYBE, just maybe… NINJAS WERE the original and BEST “pirates”. Pirates were not sea “warriors” they were cast-aways of society, criminals, pushed to sea where they raped and murdered along the way. Pirates were not thought of as decent people or morally “sound” folks. Where as the Ninja were respected as well as honored. Im not saying they were NEVER looked down upon. There were times!!! But seriously… when was the last time pirates were honored or respected for their works (not the DAMN movie! >__
April 24th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Nice list!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Shibari Hime: well said! I agree completely.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Shibari Hime that sure is some great speculation about history. I’m sure you can verify all of that with great amounts of research and it isn’t just you saying “Japan is an island, ninjas are japanese, therefore Ninja’s are mariners.”
Your comment on the first pirate is the most uninformed thing I have ever heard. Ninja’s existed around the fourteenth century C.E.. Conversely piracy has been an act committed from around the thirteenth century B.C.E..
And a comment to all who participate in this debate. How can we compare the act of piracy something committed at all times as an act of desperation or an act of war to a form of martial art?
But then again this debate could be more accurately put as: Pirates of the Caribbean vs. movie style ninja’s.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
In regards to number 6, I know that hitting the vagus nerve with enough force can kill. “Vagus” is latin for “wandering”, and the nerve is named so because it extends through a large portion of the body. If there is anyone here who watches Bones on Global(Canada) or Fox(USA), there was a recent episode featuring a person who was killed by a blow to the vagus nerve
April 24th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
pirates are smelly and often die of common scurvy.
so pit a ninja against a sickly pirate and lets see who wins….
April 24th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Nice list
Awsome #1
April 24th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
What’s so cool about pirates anyways? Besides their overly dramatic stereotypical fashion sense?
I guess anyone in the navy would associate themselves to pirates. CIA, spies can look up to the ninjas. And the marines = spartan warriors.
Personal preference for me is ninja. As I am a quiet person and leaves the party unnoticed.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:15 am
ninjas need a lot more to get into the spotlight…look at the somali pirates..just capture a few ships and get into the headlines
April 25th, 2009 at 1:18 am
CowzRppl2
I said MAYBE just MAYBE…. hmmm not quoting fact there! ^_^
Also… I hate movie ninja.
I hate movie pirate.
I like facts! ^_^
I think it’s funny you failed to see that I was in all aspects on your side. The side that it’s stupid that all this crap started after a bunch of teeny boppers and sex-starved nerds (nothing against them I was one once and it’s not fun… just saying sometimes you should put the comic down and get laid! >__
April 25th, 2009 at 1:20 am
Hit the button early! SORRY ALL!!!!
CowzRppl2
I said MAYBE just MAYBE…. hmmm not quoting fact there! ^_^
Also… I hate movie ninja.
I hate movie pirate.
I like facts! ^_^
I think it’s funny you failed to see that I was in all aspects on your side. The side that it’s stupid that all this crap started after a bunch of teeny boppers and sex-starved nerds (nothing against them I was one once and it’s not fun… just saying sometimes you should put the comic down and get laid! )started going to watch P.O.T.C.
Just like now vampires are glittery (twilight), there is a school for witches and wizards (Harry Potter), Spartans are leather loin cup wearers and ((my own personal fan girl bitch)) Gambit wasn’t introduced until the Wolverine movie!
I’m fed up with everyone arguing the pirate-ninja thing. Where were you poser fans pre-1988??????
Exactly!
Shibari Hime out
April 25th, 2009 at 5:19 am
pirates rule as cartman knows best http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/157602/detail/
April 25th, 2009 at 7:29 am
i really like this list! man i wanna be a ninja!
April 25th, 2009 at 9:14 am
BA88 didnt you see how ninjas deal with guns you fool
LONG LIVE NINJAS
April 25th, 2009 at 9:20 am
About the Ninja V. Pirate debate-I personally believe that the Ninja Pirate Viking Cavemen Space Cowboys with Laser Beams utterly pwn both groups.
April 25th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Hahahahaha, oh, holy hell. When I saw the debate about Vikings Vs Pirates Vs Ninjas, I knew what was coming next. And, I dare to predict, there will be something about pirates in the near future.
Anyways, I liked this list a lot. Good job.
April 25th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Great list ! NO 1 made me lol.
PS : Squeezing nipples ! really !? Well, that’s against the ethics of war. But still, Ninjas are awesome !
April 25th, 2009 at 11:15 am
ok look i dont care who you are but if anyone has a gun (pirate) than they can kill anyone with a sword. sorry but pirates shoot ninjas ninjas drop dead. fairly simple.
April 25th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I’ve read every single comment on this list, and unless i’m missing something, alot of the pirate fanboys seem to think untrained drunkards who enjoy the occasional “raping and pillaging” for shnits ‘n’ giggles can fare quite well against warriors who train their whole lives in a deadly form of martial arts.
GUNS? REALLY? Ninjas train to adapt to new combat situations, applying every ounce of cunning to outsmart an armed opponent, not allowing them to even fire a single shot.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is….
Pirates. Blow. HARD.
April 25th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
awesome list jamie!
I remember your cool ninja moves.
Pirates suck ass big time.
April 25th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
About the ninja vs. pirates debate, I think they should join forces! They’d be unstoppable!
Also, pirates actually predate ninjas, but they didn’t have their high tech guns and hook hands and stuff.
Furthermore, to answer the question about the bonus picture: A ninja would wear a crazy costume with “ninja” on his forehead as camouflage so that people would think he WASN’T a ninja, right?
April 25th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Wow JFrater, you’ve obviously been watching that new show Deadliest Warrior on Spike TV because a few of the past lists are following the show. First it was vikings and now ninjas. Either way, great show and awesome list.
April 25th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
In my social circle Jedi > Ninja > Pirate.
You cannot proclaim yourself a Jedi. Someone else has to do that unsolicited. I, however, am a proud ninja.
My SO considers himself a pirate and considers pirates vastly superior to ninjas because, well, “Pirates get the wenches!”
Only if your ninja girlfriend lets you, dear. And she’s watching. Stealthily.
One of my favourite lists so far!
April 25th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Sensei had but two words for his comment on this list.
“Dead on.”
April 26th, 2009 at 8:14 am
To put the Pirate v. Ninja argument to rest for all eternity…
Ninja: invisible flying Bruce Lee-superpowers
Pirate: gay Johnny Depp Sparrow in dreadlocks in a silky-boy blouse blouse
April 26th, 2009 at 8:42 am
101. Ignatz Horowitz: to capitalize on what you wrote…
To put the Pirate v. Ninja argument to rest for all eternity…
Ninja: invisible flying Bruce Lee-superpowers
Pirate: gay Johnny Depp Sparrow in dreadlocks in a silky-boy blouse blouse
Viking: All powerful Norse God Odin with double edge battle axe
Vikings win!
April 26th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
SunnySlope vikings kickass
April 26th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
It’s about time for kung-fu.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Pirates vs. Ninjas: Pirates rule.
Look at lifestyle: Pirates roamed the seas, doing what they wanted, taking what they wanted, and getting lots of booty! And they were very effective warriors against their opposition.
So were Ninjas, but they lived a life of training and discipline. Which would you rather be?
Pirates baby!
April 27th, 2009 at 4:52 am
regarding #6: i have to admit, when i think about ninjas i think about tittie twisters in gatlinburg, tennessee.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:49 am
we all know that a pirate would completely and uttery DESTROY a ninja in anny circumstances.. in fact, pirates are that insanely awsome, it is a fact that 1 pirate would take on many billions of ninjas.
April 27th, 2009 at 6:00 am
In a one on one situation the ninja would strike from behind and be like, STAB STAB STAB in da pirates liver, but then realizes that after years of “rum” the pirate no longer need this liver, and then be like BAm with his hook and pull out the ninjaz intestines. the ninja then realise that they are not in the rite place and drops to the floor.
it is simple, PIRATES OWN
April 27th, 2009 at 7:00 am
One day grace period expired.
What comes out of a ninja’s ass – RICE RICE RICE!!!
April 27th, 2009 at 8:09 am
heres some myths about ninjas
jesus himself was a ninja, and a very crap one at that.
ninjas favirote meal is bran flakes with a nice firm grapefruit and a cup of warm milk.
ninjas use fat pigeons as their preffered mode of transport.
they use samurai swords to give themselves anal pleasure.
i licked a ninja once, it tasted of grandmas bra
April 27th, 2009 at 8:19 am
68: Lifeschool: I don’t see why you found it necessary to attack my screen name. That’s about the time I stopped reading.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:54 am
In terms of fighting skill, ninja’s would rule pirates. But that doesn’t make them better than pirates.
Pirates have wenches, they drink rum, they plunder booty, they take what they want, they take no **** from anyone, and they have creative ways of executing rivals.
Honestly, I consider ninjas to be cheaters. Smoke bombs and destractions? Running away and only fighting if they can’t run? Cowardice. Ninjas aren’t even worth fighting to a pirate.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Wow almost everyone on the comment list needs a little history lesson before posting. The list wasn’t bad but I think it could’ve been a whole lot better.
April 27th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
It was myths like these that made me not like ninjas, especially when used in video games and movies, and crappy movies made from video games (Mortal Kombat)
April 27th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
This is awesome. I want to become a ninja.
April 30th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
i just used the information i acquired here to subdue my housekeeper. i pinched her nipples and then when she swung her broom at me i calmly disarmed her, put her on the ground and placed my knee on the back of her skull. thanks.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Excellent article save one point–Pirates vs. Ninjas. I have it all laid out as to why you are incorrect. I will let your mistake slide as you are such a fan. sigh. When will you all learn. Read up–http://sagelion.typepad.com/the_adventures_of_the_sag/2009/02/ninjas-v-piratesno-contest.html
May 4th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Jfrater Item #1 – “there is no doubt at all that ninjas are far better and pirates just utterly suck in comparison.”
Jfrater, just so you know…that statement makes me want to have your babies. I like how while the rest of us bickered back and forth about which was better, you were busy in the background COMPILING A WHOLE LIST on why ninjas are superior.
To the rest of you: Where the [fill in with favorite word] were you when I was the lone ninja defender against a slew of pirate lubbers on the ultimate rivalries list?!
May 4th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
118. gabi319: Sorry…I was defending the pirates.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
119. oouchan – “I was defending the pirates”
well then, oouchan… your babies I will not have even if science made it medically possible.
Lactose intolerance is currently on my mind right now… incidentally, there are cases of lactose intolerant women who are able to eat dairy products during gestation. If you don’t believe in ninja superiority, you could’ve at least pretended to for the sake of my love of ice cream, haha.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:27 am
NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS ALL THE WAY NIJAS ARE WAY BETTER THAN PIRATEs ITS OBVIOUS AND IF U CANT SEE ThAT UR STUPId
May 7th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
What the hell! You can see that ninjas are better than pirates! It’s not like that.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
number 10: “escape if you can, if you can’t, kill.”
dude what kind of lame warrior escapes from a fight?
Pirates are ALWAYS looking for fights.
May 17th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Pirates win.
Have you ever seen a ninja with wenches?
I thought not.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Grandmaster Hatsumi is the bomb! And it’s strange seeing white people all dressed in ninja garb, but the ones in these videos clearly know what they’re doing. That sakki test looks pretty impressive.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
pirates could kill ninjas deadlist warrior showed a spartan beating a ninja a pirate beating a knight and a knight could beat a spartan so a pirate could destroy a ninja
July 24th, 2009 at 4:44 am
talking real and not funny ninjas could kill a thousands of pirates by just leaving a bomb in their ship and this is the true “ninjutsu”.a ninja doesnt have to take the sword out and call for a fight.a real ninja chooses to do with the least notority. even not attending the scene !!!!
July 24th, 2009 at 4:49 am
killing with a touch you say is the “death toch” and it is thought to the most prominant students even after 15th dan.in that touch the killer controls his/her breathing and takes the needed energy from air and where he/she is standing
July 26th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Lame, there were ninja pirates. In fact the most successful pirate in the pirate list was an asian woman. Oh and I’d would much prefer to be a ninja pirate than a poofy english or french one. I mean look how they dressed. And don’t get me started on the cabin boys. The only thing better then ninjas and pirates is ninja-pirates Muwaa ha hahaha. All your base are belong to mine!
Vikings were pirates too, but they were mean and didn’t dress like a bunch of transvestites.
Oh and FYI ‘Stealth’ is only one of the many different ‘jitsus’, which is even funnier because a few of them are noted in detail on this very list. *irony*
August 4th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
pirates hava hook-hand and an eyepatch. ninjas have a throwing star and both hands. i guess the pirate could use a cannon, but to fire a cannon he needs- a hand to hold the match, and one to hold a matchbox. if the ninja comes to fight melee, he knows exactly where the pirate is. pirate- no depth perception. ninja rushed pirate, pirate slashes wildly at air, ninja dodges and kills pirate. pirates are much MUCH cooels then ninjas, but ninjas are much more effective
August 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
In a battle of common sense, a pirate would win against a ninja. But it would be close. Heck, a ninja would win 40% of the time. To make thing organized, here’s a pros and cons list.
Pirate:
Pros=Ruthlessness, willing to play dirty, fashion sense(whether it be fancy pants frilly shirts or casual shirt andpants), guns, intimadtion, w/o code of honor, sheer population, smell(if it doesn’t get ye when he was livin’, his corpse’s smell will kill ya!), and slang
Cons=Smell(I know it’s also a pro, but they reek!), ugliness, prone to diseases(like scurvy), and being completely drunk more than 3 3/4 of the time.
Ninja:
Pros=Weapon arsenal, stealth, funny-ness, millions of tricks up their sleeves, some special bond with animals(maybe? Anyone get where that’s from?), and extensive martial arts training.
Cons=Too nice, shurikens are pointless, not battle hardened(it might have killed trillions of people, but it’s not ready for a full-scaled battle), overated(yea, Bill. Ninjas can’t really karate chop trees in half. Sorry.), cool nickname-less, and not enough of ‘em.
IMO, pirates are dirty for ninjas. When ninjas take down samurais, samurais kill themselves. If a ninja takes down a pirate, the ninja while leaning over a pirate would think, “Ya gonna commit suicide yet? I gotta assassinate other people now! Get on with it! Am I gonna have to do this myself!?” This gives the pirate time to kick the ninja in the groin, and pick up his cutlass(not heavy, O.K. y’all? It’s a pretty lightweight sword.) and cut the guy’s head off. Also, pirate guns are accurate enough hit someone from 20 feet away. If I didn’t listen to reason though, ninjas would beat pirates hands down.
August 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am
EDIT: I mean pirates are TOO dirty for ninjas. Not what you think… whatever you’re thinking. IDK what it is.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:31 am
deadliest warrior on Bravo recently showed that it was a close call between a pirate and a ninja, but in the end the pirate would ultimately win due to fire power.
September 25th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
ninjas blow lol
November 1st, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Just a few questions.
If you had a sword and stars and all sort of coins, would you attack someone who has a gun?
Now turn that question around, if you had a gun would you attack someone with a sword?
The navy is having a hell right now fighting Somalian pirates. They are a real issue. Ninja’s run away from fights while pirates are always looking for fights to get into.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
People brainwashed by hollywood movies. I lulz at these guys buying into the masterful ninja junk. Pirates have far better firepower, enough to take on navies, which I’m sure ninjas could never do.
Pirates would win easily. It wouldn’t even be a fair fight.