[This list contains a competition - see comment 1 for details] St Valentine’s day is fast approaching and those who are in love, want to be in love, or want to re-ignite their love are preparing flowers, candy, and cards for the object of their desires. But not all is fun and roses when it comes to the 14th of February as this list attests.
1. In the two week period leading up to Valentine’s Day, American sales of gold jewelry lead to 34 million metric tons of waste.
2. The vast majority of roses sold for Valentine’s Day in the U.S. are imported from South America, wasting fossil fuels.
3. Valentine’s Day traces its roots to an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia, in which men stripped naked, grabbed whips, and spanked young women in hopes of increasing their fertility.
4. The Christian martyr St. Valentine was beheaded on February 14 for performing marriages in secret.
5. Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.
6. 46 percent of Americans will exchange Valentine’s Day candy.
7. 67 percent of Americans are overweight or obese.
8. The first Valentine’s Day card was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. He remained a prisoner of war for the next twenty-four years.
9. A recent poll found that one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day. And that’s just the ones that admitted it.
10. Forty percent of people have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day.
11. The famous St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, in which seven Chicago gangsters were gunned down on February 14, 1929, was one of the bloodiest in mob history (pictured above).
12. 64 percent of American men do not make Valentine’s Day plans in advance.
13. Candy hearts taste like crap.
14. Even if you’re really, really in love right now, you’re still going to die eventually.
Lia Romeo and Nick Romeo are the authors of the humor book 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About and the humor blog www.thingstobemiserableabout.com.
Competition: The publishers of the book “11,002 Things to Be Miserable About” have very kindly offered us 5 copies of the book to use as a prize on this list. When tomorrow’s list is published, I will randomly select five comments from this list to win a free copy of the book! Good luck!
Wow! Five copies! Please give me one
I absolutely love this list, because I hate Valentines day so much. Thank you for this list.
This competition is much better than the earlier, there is a higher probability of winning
This book would be awesome, I always complain enough as it is. It’s something chronic sometimes.
great list as usual!!
WoW! would appreciate to have one of the prizes for the competition..
thanks
Good list, bad holiday!
Great list. I like how #6, #7, and #9 relate to each other.
“67 percent of Americans are overweight or obese.”
“Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.”
Can anyone please tell me how the above facts are related to Valentine’s day?
WHY WONT IT LET ME PUBLISH COMMENTS!!!
cool prize!
No one to spend valentine’s day with
…..but heart candy are awesome
Nice. Valentines Day bashing.. count me in!
great, and thats the one that worked… sorry for the caps
Wow, I knew that Valentines day had originally pagan roots, but I didn’t realise it was celebrated that way..
thank god I live in the modern centuary..(where women don’t get spanked to be fertile… O_o… )
you r really depressed man
Number 14 is my favourite!!! Ha ha ha! That’s brilliant. Being single, VD (inappropriate initials!!) is just another day for me, but hey, who really cares?? Thanks – great list. D
14th comment for the 14th (pathetic) day of the month.. hopefully i’ll be lucky enough to get the book!
-damn-
Another thought – any listverser’s single??? live in australia but willing to travel….
I was browsing the net searching for nice idea to celebrate valentine with my girl and I found this list… Makes me thinking about this big day once again…
Great list! It’s always nice to see thing in a different and especially funny perspective. A break from seriousness and a dose of silly is always welcome.
Can’t wait to see the other contents of the book! Woohoo!
Miserable Fact 15: St. Valentine was a religious martyr, and some sources say he was beaten half to death and then decapitated by Romans.
Happy trails!
@BravehisTickle (9): they tried to be funny. Just put a long hahahahahahahahaha lololololololol so you wont seem impolite. Nobody will know you didnt laugh.
Number 14 is such a kick in the pants xD
Item 3 on the list isn’t miserable. That’s how valentine’s day should be celebrated. Fun for all involved.
Candy hearts taste like crap…Yes they do. I have no idea why after all this time no one has been able to improve the crappy candy heart recipe.
A copy of the book would be great. I love reading stuff like that because they make me laugh as opposed to making me miserable.
@Arsnl (24): I meant to put a
, but I forgot 
Great list!
My girlfriend should read this…
people are objects? what?
Nice list. I’ll still take my fiancee to dinner and then spend some quality time with her!
Man, Valentine’s Day is great… or it was going to be until I found out that my girlfriend’s been cheating on me for the past 5 months. Ah, tis the season!
So we’re fat, sad consumers doomed to die a laughably unremarkable death.
Happy V-Day! I’m leaving verses from my favourite love poems around for my boyfriend to find/making an actually decent love songs compilation, because I’m poor so ***** Hellmark. What is everyone else doing this corporation holiday?
on the topic of objects of desires… i plan to give flowers to the car ill never afford
i hate valentine’s day. I’m not single, either. I just hate how commercial it is. Just seems like a waste of money.
Now I’m feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, AND unwanted
I shall let you know another Miserable fact. In Karnataka( a state in India), There are a particular set of people who vandalize lovers in public places. These are really goons wanting some fun by spoiling others fun.
This is also a day where women are mostly exploited emotionally and then ditched the next morning
listverse.
see.comment.prize.valentine.happy.
The teeny candy hearts are crappy. The bigger ones (about the size of a quarter) aren’t too bad. And I think the official name is ‘conversational hearts’, due to the sentiments printed on them. I’ve heard somewhere that a guy (or more than one) managed to get one printed up with a marriage proposal on it. Or is ‘MARRY ME’ one of the usual imprints? I love the yellow ones. The lavender ones do taste like perfume, though.
@Ashwin (36): It’s not Karnataka- it’s Maharashtra.
#13 made me lol.
Sweet Tarts are good though.
@Ashwin (36): “This is also a day where women are mostly exploited emotionally and then ditched the next morning”
isnt that every saturday night- sunday morning??
Has anyone else noticed these guys are called romeo??
LOL! #13 and #14 crack me up! Candy hearts taste bad to me to, and #14 isn’t even a fact (#13 must be though, because it’s the truth)! Lia and Nick Romeo, you’ve published a great list and even if I don’t win the competition, I’ll still buy your book! 5 ***** out of 5! YOU ROCK!
all i know about valentine’s say is that i buy my other half a box of fancy chocolates, then i eat them all.
BAHAHAHAHA the last fact !
It is better to have loved and lost than to be gunned down by mobsters.
or, in the words of Mr. Spock: “Logic is wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad.”
“Shall I compare thee to a Summer day when one stinks like sweat, grass clippings stick to your bare thigh and sand rubs raw, the skin between your toes?”
Love is a many splintered thing.
#7 and the last 2 don’t even make sense.
Chris (26): I agree with you. Just as long as it involves love it isn’t depressing.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!!!!
I can personally vouch for number 5. Great list, I love it.
@Ashwin : Heard about the Shiv Sena people marrying couples for hanging out at Valentine’s day! That was just stupid.
finally registered on this site
Gav (45): love the quotes.
Great list, although I’m very indifferent when it comes to Valentines Day. Also, I’d love to get one of those books.
#13 is the best! haha
Who DOESN’T need more reasons to be miserable?!
They say ‘Love Hurts’ – but receiving a box of rancid chocolates while being rent by the thorns on badly-trimmed roses and then suiciding because the relationship ends (have I covered everything?) sounds like a archetypal Valentines Day!
Quite interesting (and depressing) facts.
Great list!
Candy hearts do not taste like crap, they just happen to taste like the colors that represent them.
what a great list, but hey, valentines is something to cheer about!
14 1/2. Even if you’re NOT really, really in love right now, you’re still going to die eventually.
Nice list, would love to see more “Mystic and Bissare” lists though,
Great list! Thanks for the entertaining read!
Wow, what a depressing list!
I’m still in love though, so yay!