With no centralized Islamic religious authority like a Pope or Dalai Lama, pretty much any Muslim “scholar” can create a fatwa, a religious edict for modern life supposedly guided by the Koran or the (less authoritative) hadiths- stories from Muhammad’s life. In recent years, supply has far outstripped demand, and it’s getting laughable. Most fatwas are harmless and a little mundane, but lately, some Islamic jurists have gone straight crazy.
The Fatwa: Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz: The Sun Revolves Around the Earth
In a 2000 Fatwa titled “The Transmitted and Sensory Proofs of the Rotation of the Sun and Stillness of the Earth”, Saudi Arabian Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz asserted that the earth was flat and disk-like and that the sun revolved around it. He had insisted that satellite images to the contrary were nothing but a Western conspiracy against the Islamic world.
Source: Al-Ahram Weekly Issue 477, 13-19 April, 2000.
The Fatwa: Ayatollah Khomeini: Kill for A Book None of Us Can Should Read!
In 1988, publication of Salman Rushdie’s novel “The Satanic Verses” led Iranian revolutionary leader Ayatollah Khomeini to issue a fatwa against Rushdie, with a huge bounty for his death. This triggered several attacks on the novel’s translators, publishers and booksellers, including the murder of Japanese translator Hitoshi Igarashi. Millions of Muslims around the world who had never read a single line of the book, and who had never even met Rushdie before, wanted him dead. Interesting fact, 24% of Iranians at the time couldn’t even read.
Source: “The West Is Choked by Fear”, Der Speigel Jan 4, 2010, Henryk Broder
The Fatwa: Malaysian National Fatwa Council: Tomboy fatwa
A University of Massachusetts study recently reported that girls who play sports have higher self esteem, and are less likely to enter (or remain in) abusive relationships. Could this fact have threatened the he-men at the Malaysia National Fatwa Council? Maybe. Perhaps that’s why Kuala Lumpur had a near riot on their hands when the Sisters in Islam marched against a Malaysian fatwa banning tomboys, which branded any girls who act un-ladylike as violating Islamic tenets. Fortunately, the as-yet undefined punishment for Malaysian girls in t-shirts and jeans hasn’t been incorporated into Sharia law yet.
Source: The Malaysian Insider
The Fatwa: Muhammad Al-Munajid: Bring Me the Head of Mickey Mouse
That’s right, somebody put on hit on Mickey Mouse. Calling Mickey “one of Satan’s soldiers,” Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajid decreed that household mice and their cartoon cousins must be “killed in all cases”, according to the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph.
And get this—the guy’s not your average nutjob, either—Munajid used to be a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington D.C. He made the remarks on Arab television network al-Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice.
But don’t worry, Mickey won’t be alone. Munajid also put a hit on Jerry from “Tom and Jerry”. Maybe they could rent a flat with Salman Rushdie (above).
Source: Report: Saudi Cleric Says Mickey Mouse ‘Must Die’.
The Fatwa: Multaqa Ahl al Hadeeth: Emoticon fatwa
I can almost get behind this one. Sure, they’re annoying, but evil? Really? Well, to a Muslim forum looking to make a name for itself—yes.
According to Muslim Internet Forum Multaqa Ahl al Hadeeth, “Emoticons are forbidden because of its imitation to Allah’s creatures whether it is original or mixture or even deformed one and since the picture is the face and the face is what makes the real picture then emoticons which represent faces that express emotions then all that add up to make them Haram.” Additionally, “A woman should not use these images when speaking to a man who is not her mahram, because these faces are used to express how she is feeling, so it is as if she is smiling, laughing, acting shy and so on, and a woman should not do that with a non-mahram man. It is only permissible for a woman to speak to men in cases of necessity, so long as that is in a public chat room and not in private correspondence.”
Source: Jihadwatch
The Fatwa: Football fatwa
No, not even the beautiful game is safe from stupid fatwas. As part of a government drive to eliminate frivolous fatwas, the Saudi newspaper Al Watan lampooned one very real edict setting out new rules for football. Ridiculous demands included “do not play with 11 people like the heretics, Jews, and Christians”, and “play in your pyjamas or regular clothes (because) colored shorts and numbered T-shirts are not Muslim clothing”. Especially ridiculous is the edict to “remove the crossbar in order not to imitate the heretics and in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system’s despotic international rules.”
Source: “A Fatwa on Football”, The Guardian, Monday 31 October 2005.
The Fatwa: Infidel Vaccine
Polio is actually increasing in India, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Why? Because an anti-polio fatwa by anti-Western clerics forbid Pakistani children from immunizations, because the clerics are saying the vaccine is a conspiracy to make Muslims sterile. Ironically, it’s the clerics’ plans that would produce this result, as dead/paralytic kids don’t breed all that much.
Source: “POLIO ERADICATION: Looking for a Little Luck”, Roberts Science 6 February 2009
The Fatwa: Rashad Hassan Khalil: No Nudity for Sex
In 2007, the former dean of Islamic law at al-Azhar University in Cairo issued a fatwa that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage between husband and wife. Debate was immediate. Suad Saleh, head of the women’s department of Al-Azhar’s Islamic studies, pleaded for “anything that can bring spouses closer to each other” and Islamic scholar Abdel Muti concurred, saying “Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy.”
For his part, Al-Azhar’s fatwa committee chairman Abdullah Megawar backpedaled and said that married couples could see each other naked but should really cover up with a blanket during sex.
Source: SimplyDumb
The Fatwa: Sheik Ali Gomaa: Urine Fatwa
According to Egypt’s Grand Mufti, Sheikh Ali Gomaa, drinking the urine of Muhammad is deemed a great blessing. What, they have a lot of this stuff lying around, going to waste or something? Remember, Muhammad never claimed that he himself was divine—so why does his piss have magic properties? Failing to pass the laugh test with Muslim scholars, Mufti later recanted, saying it was only his “personal opinion”.
Source: “A Fatwa Free-for-All in the Islamic World”, New York Times, Michael Slackman Published: Monday, June 11, 2007
The Fatwa: Ezzat Attiya: Adult Breastfeeding in the Workplace
In May 2007, Ezzat Attiya wondered how unrelated men and women could work together in the same office, when Islam forbids men and women who aren’t married or related to be alone together. His answer: let her suckle him FIVE TIMES. Yes, that’s right, an adult female breastfeeding an adult male coworker will defuse all sexual tension in the office. See, the female worker will now be the male worker’s foster mother, and they can be alone together anytime. Attiya’s ruling was intergalactically mocked, and quickly condemned on the homefront as well. He was later suspended from his job, pilloried in Arab newspapers, and issued a hasty retraction saying it was a “bad interpretation of a particular case.”
Source: “A Fatwa Free-for-All In the Islamic World”, New York Times, Michael Slackman, Monday, June 11, 2007.
@qabandi: science makes no claims, scientists does. and before any hypothesis is aknowledged by science it HAS to pass through peer-review, and undergo further research and testing before even being called a theory.
most of the claims that “science” has made that has turned out to be false is when religious idiots are trying to tarnish its name, or overly greedy and ambitious people fabricate results, the truth always surfaces though. because thats the business science is in, truth. truth and progress.
within science an old theory is instantly cast away should it turn out to be false, they are not glorified, followers of science do not close our eyes and clasp our hands over our ears when someone try to dispute a scientific claim. unlike, say, religion.
science itself is infallible, all scientists however are not. religion is based upon a foundation of idiocy and glorified ideals from the bronze-age.
Emoticons are pure devils, no doubt about that. Most of them grind teeth and swear profanities, when you are not looking.
@cubone: hitler was catholic. the nazi party’s motto was “god with us.”
stalin and mao didnt follow any religion, but none of their acts were motivated by their lack of belief in a god. both stalin and hitler had mustaches, maybe thats the common denominator? pol pot and mao were bald, maybe thats it!?
terrorists kill people because of islam, crusaders killed people because they wouldnt believe in jesus. the vatican killed scinetists who could disprove the bible’s claims. stalin did what he did because he was a powerhungry ruthless man, not because he was an atheist.
@Cubone 134
you also gotta take in consideration that not all people followed hitler mao or stalin…i would certainly not blow myself up for islam…***** that!!!!
the point is extremists are found everywhere and thanks god they are not the majority
@DONdon (129): Right on!
I’m quite thoroughly Christian and could quite happily shuffle loose Salman Rushdie. Rubbish to the bone. Up the Islam!
S@Cernunnos (125): Saying you are Catholic doe3s not make you Catholic. A Baptized KKK member does not make him a Christian. Hitler Abandon his faith as a child, the targeted Catholics.
@asleeping (126):
This, folks, is why religion is dying and why religion has to die.
BITTY!!!
@Cubone: if someone says they are a catholic, or if they say they are christian, they are. they do not have to conform to your exact belief to fall within the classification. just because hitler didnt fall within what you erronously call catholicism doesnt make him an atheist you *****ing idiot.
This list is the epitome of xenophobia
Picture is not of football. That’s soccer. This list fails.
@bob: picture is of football, proper football. not sissy-rugby.
@SteveC (67):
Just because we are so badass and make the rest of the world have to try to keep up with our badassness.
Hahahahahha..controversies+ hate-mongering trolls+ peace endorsing commenters= more traffic and comments= more revenue for Jamie
hyuk hyuk! clever Jamie! 3 cheers for JF! Hip hip hurray! 
@Cernunnos (130): Who’s the idiot?! Don’t tell me what is or isn’t Catholic. A Catholic excommunicates him/herself by their actions. Bill Clinton calling himself the first black president doesn’t make him black! WTF!! Am I a scientist because I proclaimit?!
This is a great list.
Fatwa aren’t binding. It’s not necessarily a rule all Muslims must live by. In that respect this list is a lot like yesterdays! These people are just extremests trying to make their mark in their own religion…and (for the most part) failing, ha.
Such an intersting list that was, yet again, brought down a few notches with ridiculous comments. Still a great list though.
Hell of a list. Some of these legit made me laugh out loud.
@matmohair1 (92): Might want to get your caps lock key fixed buddy
@BravehisTickle (135): you just bored the ***** out of me, well done.
@SURYA (68):
Excellent point!
@oouchan (70):
I laughed hard for all of them! How silly…
@Cernunnos (80):
Hmmm… True!
@BravehisTickle (135): HURRAY!
I’m enjoying the list and the comments – religion eh? Gee.
I wish all religions were extinct.
@/.>?? (139): Yeaaah, juz what I wuz hopin’
..a dreary, ho-hum comment to make people go..(yaaaaawwwwn..oh wow, what a great thing he has said **sarcasm**) …har har
@BravehisTickle (40):
I agree! Isn’t the U.S. one of the most multi-racial countries on the planet? There are other countries that are far less “colorful” than America, but I know them to be much more racist. Not calling any names!
@BravehisTickle (143): Terminator Salvation is a 2009 American science fiction film, the fourth installment in the Terminator series, directed by McG, and starring Christian Bale as future Resistance leader John Connor and Sam Worthington as cyborg Marcus Wright. The film also introduces a young Kyle Reese from the original 1984 film, played by Anton Yelchin, as well as depicting the origin of the T-800 Model 101 Terminator.
Terminator Salvation, set in 2018, focuses on the war between humanity and Skynet — a departure from the previous installments, which were set between 1984 and 2004 and used time travel as a key plot element.
After a troubled pre-production, with The Halcyon Company acquiring the rights for the franchise from Andrew G. Vajna and Mario Kassar and several writers working on the screenplay, filming began in May 2008 in New Mexico and ran for 77 days. The film is currently the most expensive independent production in history, with a budget of $200 million. Terminator Salvation was released on May 21, 2009 in the United States and Canada, followed by early June releases in the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa. The film was met with mixed critical reception[3] and failed to meet initial financial expectations. However, its final worldwide gross of $372 million ranked it 16th in terms of grosses in 2009.
Bored yet?
Anti-Catholicism is a generic term for discrimination, hostility or prejudice directed against Catholicism, and especially against the Roman Catholic Church, its clergy or its adherents. The term also applies to the religious persecution of Catholics or to a “religious orientation opposed to Catholicism.”[1] In the Early Modern period, the Catholic Church struggled to maintain its traditional religious and political role in the face of rising secular powers in Europe. As a result of these struggles, there arose a hostile attitude towards the considerable political, social, spiritual and religious power of the Pope of the day and the clergy in the form of “anti-clericalism”. To this was added the epochal crisis over the church’s spiritual authority brought about by the Protestant Reformation, giving rise to sectarian conflict and a new wave of anti-Catholicism.
In more recent times, anti-Catholicism has assumed various forms, including the persecution of Catholics as members of a religious minority in some localities, assaults by governments upon them, discrimination, desecration of churches and shrines, and virulent attacks on clergy and laity.
Anti-Catholicism has its origins in the Reformation which developed a deep-rooted antipathy for the Church as a result of its long struggle to establish its independence outside the Church. Because the Reformation was based on an effort to correct what it perceived to be errors and excesses of the Catholic Church, it formed strong positions against the Roman clerical hierarchy and the Papacy in particular. These positions were brought to the New World by British colonists who were predominantly Protestant, and who opposed not only the Catholic Church but also the Protestant Church of England which, due to its perpetuation of some Catholic doctrine and practices, was deemed to be insufficiently “reformed”
Powell made the speech at the Midland Hotel in Birmingham to a meeting of the Conservative Political Centre at 2:30 pm. The Birmingham-based television company ATV saw an advance copy of the speech the morning it was delivered, and its news editor ordered a television crew to go to the venue, where they filmed sections of the speech. Earlier in the week, Powell said to his friend Clement Jones, who was a journalist at the Wolverhampton Express & Star, “I’m going to make a speech at the weekend and it’s going to go up ‘fizz’ like a rocket; but whereas all rockets fall to the earth, this one is going to stay up”. Though Powell referred to the speech as “the Birmingham speech”, it is otherwise known as the “Rivers of Blood” speech, a title derived from its allusion to a line from Virgil’s Aeneid.[1] The phrase “rivers of blood” does not appear in the speech.
@BravehisTickle (143):
Lol!
trolls trolling trolls is like masturbating to videos of other greasy guys sitting in front of their computers.
@Gabriel (142):
Why? I wish there’d be more religions! More religions = More controversy/ beautiful drama; like most of these comments, today…
Seriously, religion is just a tool: for some to rely on for comfort, whilst others make money of it… But these Fatwas are insane! What did Mickey Mouse ever do to anyone? Lol!
Personally, I would always remain deeply spiritual, never religious…
*****e list
lol i always find it hilarious when americans calll football soccer, you have the nerve to call american football proppa football, you dont hardly kick it lol, u use your hands, stop blaspheming the beautiful game.
@DONdon (115):
Oh man… You’re the perfect Muslim man… I think I love you!
cubone: whether a person is black or not is clearly visible.
in your eyes no-one who does anything you disaprove of belong to your religion then? ***** me you are stupid. if a person accepts jesus as his savior he is a christian whether he conforms to your belief of what a christian is. you do not get to decide who belongs to what religion, that is for every person to decide for himself, because there is such a thing as freedom of belief as well. Hitler was a catholic, wether you *****ing like it or not, you saying he wasnt a catholic doesnt not revoke his beliefs anymore than it makes him an atheist.
If I was a guru I’d say to you:
G. U. R. U.
Gee, You are YOU!
Gee, You ARE You!!
You are your own freedom, you are your own guru..
You tell yourself what you can and can’t do..
…And that is all you need to know.
@jimbob (149): She does? Oh no, now you completely ruined my childhood innocence! Just how am I going to respond to such a sophisticated insult that I care so little about?
@jimbob: If you keep calling all American’s “yankees” I know some Bostonians who will be VERY upset with you.
I am starting to wonder if all the are trolls are really the same (extremely effin bored) person.
How would all the trolls find the site and know about the lameness (it’s a word!!) that has been going here all at once!!? It’s a mysteryyyyyy…..
One too many “are”s in that last comment. I sound like a pirate.
you do realise that youve just responded?
lol@comment156
@Forsythia (157): maybe JFrater is paying some chinese people to troll on his site so he gets more traffic
What happens when a religion becomes dis-organized?
@nicoleredz3 (153): hahah thnx
i am the perfect man anyhow hahahah 
the muslim thing …well i was raised as a muslim but i don’t really believe in religion that much
i believe in a superior being but not religion wise
@Scratch (118): Yeah bro, I can see that too.
@Forsythia (158): I just love that comment, a bit of humor goes a long way on a list such as this.
Oh WOW!
Just noticed all the Emoticons since 162, looks like we’re all in the doghouse now. 
Right, that’s me off for today.
@Cernunnos (154): HOLY *****!! Not once did I say anything about “Christians”. While it’s true that Catholics are Christians, not all “Christians” are Catholic. Quit spewing your emotional anger-filled puke at me. I also said, you bigotted mongrel, that because one says that they are something doesn’t make it so. Never did I say anything about anyone agreeing with me. Why assume you know where I’m coming from?
Great list. Also some fantastic comments. some hilarious (malaysian). others stoopid. still others brilliant.
EVERY religion has some loose cannons in it. Just a couple days ago we covered some crazy christians. So lets not talk about nuking an entire religion. I am a devout christian, but religion should be about love, not hate. and everyone should be entitled to their own without being persecuted.
Thanks guys!
@lifeschool (167)
Awesome. Just awesome.
@cubone:
every catholic is a christian, i never said all christians where catholic you moron.
hitler was a catholic, therefore a christian. you, nor anyone else have any right to claim hitler not being a caholic when he proclaimed himself as not being one. whether you agree he was a catholic or not is *****ing irrelevant, seing as he believed in jesus he is at least some form of christian and you put him on your little list of bad atheists you ingorant piece of *****. he was not an atheist. he was a very religious man and some of his religious convictions where the reason for the hollocaust.
@Cernunnos (154):
According to a press release from Catholic League President, William A. Donohue (2/4/99): “Hitler was a neo-pagan terrorist whose conscience was not informed by Christianity, but by pseudo-scientific racist philosophies. Hitler hated the Catholic Church, made plans to kill the Pope, authorized the murder of thousands of priests and nuns, and did everything he could to suppress the influence of the Church.
@jimbob (160):
jimbob, the language!! My goodness! There are children here!!
Mmmmmwah!!
There are some pretty hot girls in my office, how can I get #1 enacted?
Again, retard, Being is doing, not always saying. I could tell you I believe that an alien kangaroo crapped out the earth but that does not make it so. Like so many, to claim a position can be used as a political gain.
@Cernunnos (171): By the way, Al Gore claimed that he invented the internet. Is that true?
Is it just me or do a lot of the new lists have a pro christian theme to them?
@noclustu (177): You mean the lists like “People that give Christianity a bad name”?
@178: yep!
@cubone:
stop your stupid comparisons. faith is not a tangible thing, all that is needed according to christian faith is belief, it is NOT a religion of works. like or not, but according to the christian faith, hitler is at a poolside in heaven, sipping vodka.
if you believe in jesus and accept him as your “saviour” you ARE A CHRISTIAN, and you are granted access to heaven regardless of your actions up until that point. get that through your thick-ass (interior) skull.
you can say you believe in “God”, but that does not make him exist. it does however mean you believe in him, which makes you belong to one of the abrahamic faiths.
hitler didnt just claim catholicism for political reasons, he was time and time again found praying by himself.
faith is a personal thing, you are the only one in a position to decide which faith you belong to, not other people who for own reasons would like to deny you believing the same as them, even when you clearly do. hitler was a catholic, you have no right to say he wasnt, anymore than you can claim that i dont like the music i do. whether someone is black or not is apparent by their skin and facial structure (with 1 exception), whether somone invented the internet or not is also tangible and can be proven or disproven. someones faith however is the same as denying someones taste and preference because they are the same as yours and you dont particularly like the person. i dont like you, therefore you dont like taco.
171 “… you ingorant piece of *****”.
Hahaha
Get a brain morans…
@debsfullcircle (163):
Are any religions organized?