20 Famous Last Words
Published on August 22, 2007 - 89 Comments
The deathbed can lead people to speak with great honesty and, in many cases, humor. This is a list of 20 last words by famous people.
1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.
Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
2. I can’t sleep
Said by: J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
3. I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Said by: Humphrey Bogart
4. I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
Said by: Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
5. I live!
Said by: Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
6. Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
Said by: Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
7. I am perplexed. Satan Get Out
Said by: Aleister Crowley - famous occultist
8. Now why did I do that?
Said by: General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
9. Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!
Said by: James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.
10. Bugger Bognor.
Said by: King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
11. It’s stopped.
Said by: Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.
12. LSD, 100 micrograms I.M.
Said by: Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
13. You have won, O Galilean
Said by: Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
14. No, you certainly can’t.
Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
15. I feel ill. Call the doctors.
Said by: Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
16. Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here
Said by: Nostradamus
17. Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!
Said by: Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
18. Put out the bloody cigarette!!
Said by: Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
19. Please don’t let me fall.
Said by: Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
20. Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Said by: Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
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1. Kelsi - August 22nd, 2007 at 11:33 am
Haha, great list. Enjoyed reading all of those.
2. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 11:50 am
kelsi: thanks - they are quite amusing
3. mix2323 - August 22nd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
‘French Fries’! lol thats a good
4. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
mix: yeah - that is my favorite one.
5. Crimanon - August 22nd, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Makes you kinda wonder what you’re going to say as you go.
“Excuse me sir. Would you remove your poodle from my belly button.?” “Moo. I like that word. Moo. Yeah.”
“Oh, you got me!”
Just something to think for you to think about.
6. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Crimanon: I was going to mention that it gives us all cause to consider what our own last words will be. Hopefully something incredibly witty!
7. Andre du Plessis - August 22nd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
How about this : Great post …
Just kidding, still here.
8. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Andre: funny man
9. troh23 - August 22nd, 2007 at 2:20 pm
“either these drapes go or i do…” (loosely)
-Oscar Wilde
i don’t know if it’s true or not
10. greatk - August 22nd, 2007 at 2:43 pm
What about: “Et Tu Brute”? Caesar’s famous last words.
11. asdf - August 22nd, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Oscar Wilde’s last words.
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go.”
12. Jason - August 22nd, 2007 at 3:15 pm
“I’ve had eighteen whiskeys. I think that’s the record.”
-Dylan Thomas
13. Crimanon - August 22nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Oscar Wilde had alot to say I guess. Who knew he was such an interior decorator. “Alfred there’s something I need to tell you…I wanted the lamp over there….ugh.” Tacky, I know, But Funny.
14. troh23 - August 22nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
asdf,
thank you. i knew it was something like that.
15. tjgrs - August 22nd, 2007 at 10:16 pm
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-”—Maj. Gen. John Sedgwick, U.S. Army, just before being fatally shot at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, May 9, 1864.
“Wait a minute… “-Pope Alexander VI
“Don’t disturb my equation”-Archimedes
“I’m bored with it all.”-Winston Churchill
“Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.”- Del Close
“Lady, you shot me!”-Sam Cooke
“This is funny.”-Doc Holliday
16. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Wow - thanks for all the additions! Oscar Wilde is one of the wittiest men to have lived.
17. tjgrs - August 22nd, 2007 at 10:52 pm
by the way i love this site, it gives me something to do, my friend showed me this about a month ago and ive been hooked ever since, great job, keep it up
18. jfrater - August 22nd, 2007 at 11:00 pm
tjgrs: thanks
Spread the news!
19. Ummagumma - August 23rd, 2007 at 3:35 am
Oscar Wilde’s last words,
“Either those curtains go, or I do”
20. cb - August 23rd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
In Australia, perhaps the most famous last words are those of bushranger (ie outlaw) Ned Kelly, who said “Such is life” before being hanged.
21. jfrater - August 24th, 2007 at 12:18 am
cb: I heard that phrase used a LOT in New Zealand - it must be an antipodean thing.
22. Annon - August 24th, 2007 at 1:02 am
“Thomas Jefferson still lives.”
-John Adams
(On his death bed, not knowing Jefferson had died only a few hours earlier-July 4th, 1826. Adams was an US diplomat & politician (1735 - 1826))
Also kind of odd that both men who were key to US independence died on what is know now as independence day.
23. jfrater - August 24th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Annon: that is true - it is quite an interesting story.
24. MrGreen - August 27th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
“Kiss my ass” John Wayne Gacy Jr.American serial killer.
25. jfrater - August 27th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
MrGreen: That guy had no remorse at all! There are quite a few interesting last words of killers - it will end up in a list of its own I think!
26. craigl - August 28th, 2007 at 7:19 am
tjgrs says
“This is funny.”-Doc Holliday
This statement needs context. He said this as he was looking down at his bootless feet while lying in bed. He always figured he would die with his boots on.
27. jfrater - August 28th, 2007 at 7:48 am
craigl: thanks for adding that extra info
28. june - August 29th, 2007 at 2:46 am
loved the stuff u post here!keep it up:-)
29. jfrater - August 29th, 2007 at 3:31 am
june: Thanks
30. Midian - September 5th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
“Don’t let it end like this, tell them I said something!”-Poncho Villa
31. jfrater - September 6th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Midian: hilarious.
32. Jack - September 6th, 2007 at 7:10 am
“Die my dear doctor?”
“That’s the last thing I will do!”
Gladstone
33. alan - September 9th, 2007 at 12:07 am
Voltaire’s is the best, hands down.
34. Paul Drago - September 9th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
“Either those drapes go or I do.”– Oscar Wilde
35. jfrater - September 9th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Paul Drago: That has been quite a popular one (starting from comment 9)
36. Kixie - September 14th, 2007 at 10:36 am
“Moose. Indian.” Henry David Thoreau
37. Punjar - September 26th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
The ultimate last words, which should be on the list, are those of Terry Kath, from the band Chicago. His last words were “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded”, then he shot himself.
Also, I had heard that president Kennedy’s last word were “I’ve been shot” not “no you certainly can’t” though I don’t remember where i heard it and if it was a reliable source.
38. jfrater - September 26th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Kixie: that sounds like something that would be David Lynch’s last words!
Punjar: the first is a great addition. The second - I think more famous is the comment from the wife of the governor in whose car Kennedy was travelling who made a comment about how nice the people were being (or maybe it was Jaqueline who said that).
39. kourosh - September 27th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Hi,
Let`s say what we would have said!
40. jfrater - September 28th, 2007 at 2:14 am
kourosh: I am too afraid I might jinx my real last words
41. heavybison - October 11th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
The last one(Voltaire) has to take the cake!!
42. Area51 - October 14th, 2007 at 7:48 am
How about “What’s this button for?” ?
43. Sean the pyro - October 18th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
“Hey guys, check this out.” Said by many a redneck (and I include myself in that catagory) shortly before dying in some incredibly stupid way.
44. landon - October 26th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
edger allen poe - “god have mercy on my soul” or somthing along that line
Beethoven - “pity, pity…..too late!”
Charles Darwin - “I am not in the least bit afraid to die”
Billy the kid - “who is it?” then BANG!!!! shot to the heart…
45. Fallenangel - October 30th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
I would like my last words to be something eloquent and intellegent, “I do not fear the beyond, for I’ve had a good life here, with good friends, i’ve been truely blessed etc…” But it will probably be more along the lines of “Get this d@#n cat off me, I can’t breath!” Or “OhCrap!” yes together. If I’m lucky enough ZZZZZZZ :)(:
46. jfrater - October 31st, 2007 at 3:54 am
Sean the pyro: hahah - also potential famous last words for the cast of Jackass.
landon: I didn’t know that about Poe - I love his writing.
Fallenangel: I think we all hope for the last one
47. Erwin - November 8th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Plus Luxis (more light) - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
48. Sarah - November 10th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Haha I like the French Fries one
49. veronica - November 14th, 2007 at 11:09 am
i love hector fuentes
50. Drogo - November 16th, 2007 at 3:17 am
My uncle’s last words were, “What would happen if I pushed this button?”
j/k
51. Drogo - December 3rd, 2007 at 4:18 am
Oops! I just noticed that Area51 already did the joke.
52. aplspud - December 3rd, 2007 at 5:58 am
Interesting and amusing list. #11 kind of creeps me out, cause what a horrible thing to be conscious of. Some of them seem a little too convenient and witty, but I guess we’ll never know. I’m really curious about who witnessed #8.
53. nicci. - December 10th, 2007 at 3:12 am
Area 51: Yes! The perfect last words!
Or any variation of ‘Hey guys, watch this!’
Love the Oscar Wilde one. I’ve got a book sitting here [The Rough Guide To Cult Fiction] that has a few:
‘Go away, I’m alright’ - HG Wells.
‘Mind your own business’ - Wyndham Lewis [after a nurse asked him about the state of his bowels]
54. Drogo - December 10th, 2007 at 3:55 am
My grandfather was a wise man and I will always remember his last words. He said, “Whatever you do, don’t set that THING off in the house!”
[a joke that I debated about posting]
55. jp - December 11th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
these are from wikiquote (part of wikipedia) theres some good ones there…theres one guy (who i have forgotten the name of) who’s nurse told a visitor he was getting better…he saids “on the contrary” and died…it think thats the best
56. Jenn - December 13th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
id say there are alot of funny quotes…but these ones are really good
57. melissa - December 16th, 2007 at 3:59 am
i felt bad for marie antoinette.
58. Lela - December 26th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I am not sure if you know this, but Joan Crawford’s quote is not necessarily true. There’s alot of speculation on how and when she died. It’s still a great quote and really funny to think about.
59. Eric - December 30th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Great list but you missed one of the most famous quotes,(not really humorous but very ironic). On his death bed John Adams said “Jefferson lives” not knowing that Jefferson would also die the same day.
60. bovanity - January 1st, 2008 at 7:01 pm
How about Jesus Christ: “It is finished!”
61. Don Blosser - January 1st, 2008 at 11:48 pm
A few interesting last words:
“Why, yes, a bulletproof vest”. - Domonic Willard (Just before his death by firing squad, when he was asked if he had any last requests).
“I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” — Thomas J. Grasso, a confessed multiple murderer, concerning one item he had requested on a lengthy and detailed last meal list.
All my possessions for a moment of time. ~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603
“I’ve seen many die. The Christians die differently. What is their secret?” ~ A Chinese Communist Executioner.
“I shall be with Christ, and that is enough”. - Scientist Michael Faraday [upon being asked: “Have you ever pondered what will be your occupation in the next world?”]
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”- Jim Elliot (recorded in daily journal).
BTW, a better rendering of Christ’s last words would be, “It is accomplished!”
62. sue - January 17th, 2008 at 7:47 am
haha marie antoinette was the funniest in my opinion.she sure did pick a weird time to remember her manners!!
63. Christopher - January 20th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
“It is accomplished”
Jesus
64. swampsnake - January 25th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
another one for the redneck part of this list…hey i know what im doing
65. Sensei - January 30th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
How about, “Hold my beer, I can do this.”
66. Drogo - February 1st, 2008 at 2:13 am
My uncle Vito’s last words were, “Gee Mr. Gotti, you sure have put on alot of weight!”
67. Polly Odyssey - February 8th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I always imagined myself saying a quote from a song that was deep and heartrending. I think I’d rather say something funny.
68. lightninglcash - February 15th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Here’s a question. Who heard number 8? Was somebody falling beside him or something? Seems a little unbelievable to me. Awesome list, though.
69. devilishgrin66 - February 17th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
General Sedgewick’s are my favorite (they couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist..)
Kennedy’s last words are debated, the last words that they absolutely know he said are “no they can’t” but its said that his last words were “has someone been shot?”
I also like “I have a terrible headache” - FDR, who died of massive cerebral hemorhaging.
70. Jacob - March 29th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
“Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.” Ludwig van Beethoven.
71. Tek - April 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Punjar, I don’t think Kennedy could say anything because his brain was hanging out the back of his head…
72. JLMettille - April 14th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Tallulah Bankhead was before her time in so many ways, but in the current climate of celebrities going to rehab every week or so I think her final words have particular pertinence:
“Codeine…bourbon”
73. Rick - April 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Rodgers, James W. ( -1960) [American criminal]
“Why yes, a bullet-proof vest!”
(Last request before the firing squad.)
Presley, Elvis (1935-1977)
“I hope I haven’t bored you.”
(Conclusion of his last press conference.)
Take a step forward lads - it’ll be easier that way.
Robert Erskine Childers, to his firing squad
Morant, Lt. Henry H. (1864-1902)
“Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it!”
(To the firing squad that executed him.)
Please put out the light.
Theodore Roosevelt
74. Alan Gregory - May 4th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Like many of us reading this, I’d like to think up some really good last words, but I fear that the ones I come up with as death strikes will be unprintable, and curtailed. Perhaps I should concentrate my literary efforts on a headstone inscription, on the lines of Spike Milligan’s “I told them I was ill”.
75. Drogo - May 4th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
I want my tombstone to read:
I came,
I saw,
I must say it was really disappointing,
then I left.
76. Crimanon - May 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Drogo: “Vinni, Viddi, more stuff in latin”
77. ericxdraven26 - May 16th, 2008 at 10:38 am
i always thought the john adams one should be on here
mine will be something memorable, i can guarantee that
78. Drogo - May 19th, 2008 at 12:44 am
A music historian said that Chopin’s last words were, “Play Mozart for me.” and Gustav Mahler’s last word was, “Mozart.”
79. brfsk - June 2nd, 2008 at 8:23 am
I found it a bit odd when I first heard of Mahler’s last word: “Mozart”. He was so far beyond Mozart that I can’t understand his reverence for the Wolfgang. I try to make sense out of it by telling myself (and others) that his next-to-last word was f**k. No one usually believes me…
80. Stevey Steve - June 13th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
“Ooooaghhhhhh!” Lee Harvey Oswald
81. Flingo Stoogy - June 13th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“Love one another.”
-George Harrison to his family.
“Yeah.”
-John Lennon. A cop asked him if he knew who he was.
“Money can’t buy life.”
-Bob Marley to his son, Ziggy.
82. astraya - June 20th, 2008 at 12:04 am
According to some sources “Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est” is reputed to be the Emperor Augustus’ last words.
Beethoven’s last words weren’t recorded. He is reported to have shaken his fist at the thunderstorm then raging.
My last words? “Oh, I forgot to tell you …”
83. Ferdinants - June 22nd, 2008 at 12:54 am
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84. Crimanon - June 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Guys… someone want to handle this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.
85. MPW - June 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
hopefully those are that assholes last words