Top 10 Toys Parents Dread
Published on March 23, 2008 - 148 Comments
If you have friends with kids and you wish they would stop inviting you to visit, just pick up an item or two from the following list the next time a gift-giving occasion rolls around.
The first reason is obvious. There are usually thousands of them, and within 5 minutes of the package being opened they are everywhere. Second, assuming the kids actually do use the beads for their intended purpose, they proudly present you with a mismatched, half-completed poorly-made necklace/bracelet which they then expect the parent (you) to wear every day of your life.
Does this one even need an explanation? Just know that they put a screw on the battery compartment for a reason. No, it’s not so the kids can’t eat the batteries, if your kids eat batteries, they deserve what they get. It’s so the kids can’t replace the batteries, because there is no way that the parents ever will.
Slime + Furniture/Carpeting/Curtains/Anything = Angry Parent + Child with a sore rear end.
Scientists have calculated that there is only a 31 second window between the time a Barbie Doll leaves the box and the moment it is discarded by the child, hair matted and/or cut and completely naked. And speaking of that box! It is easier to get a cat in a bathtub that to get the stupid doll out of that box. The process goes like this…Cut tape, open box, slide out inner backing with doll and accessories attached, remove wire ties, cut tape, take a break, have a drink, cut strings, cut plastic, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…(I’m going to stop here, but at this point only half of the accessories have been freed from their plastic purgatory).
Have you ever stepped on a lite-brite peg at 2 am? If not, let me know, I’ll be happy to send you a couple so you can share in the experience.
Umm-umm! Nothing says gourmet cuisine like old batter from the toy store, cooked to runny/gooey/burned perfection by a 60 watt light bulb! See the beautiful treats this young girl has prepared? That’s not even close what your kid is going to make. If you give this a gift, be prepared to receive the results as a thank-you present.
How could bubbles possibly make this list? After all, they’re just soap and water? They’re harmless, right? WRONG! Parents hate bubbles like rednecks hate the government. They make anything they touch in the house sticky and leave water-soap rings on furniture, so you have to insist that the kids only use them outside, which results in: “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, etc, etc, etc.
See: Bubbles
Gotta Catch ‘em All! At $5-20 a pop, catching ‘em all is a great financial plan if you are into poverty. These things are like kiddie heroin, one taste is all it takes. Plus, half of them don’t really look like anything, or at least not anything you would want to play with. Look at the example above (Sudo Woodo), it had to be inspired by a diet high in corn and peas. And the show!!! Try and watch it, I dare you.
You might as well wrap your children in colored toilet paper as these heavy-duty toughskin-quality threads. They are made from the flimsiest materials available, stitched together with the thinnest thread and typically unravel as you take them out of the packaging. See how happy the children are in the picture above? They’re getting paid to smile. It’s a triple whammy: Wasted money, ruined costumes and crying children.
Contributor: BishopWhiteT
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1. hehe - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:30 am
am i first?
2. jfrater - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:46 am
hehe: apparently so
3. dangorironhide - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:49 am
We’ve still got silly string stuck to the wall outside our back door from when I sprayed some on when I was 12. It won’t come off… We used to just use the bubbles in our kitchen, where everything could just be wiped down. I used to enjoy watching the Pokemon tv programs.
4. genesis105 - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:51 am
lol, what happened to the ‘no “first post” comments’ rule? Oh well.
Nice list, I remember I had more than half of these when I was a child. XD
5. jfrater - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:54 am
dangor: haha you parents must have been thrilled.
genesis105: the rule is suspended for this list ONLY because it is Easter Sunday
Happy Easter everyone!
6. Bass - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:56 am
Great list! I completely agree with Pokemon.
PS. In pokemon, i think “caching” should be “catching”.
7. Scar.. - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 am
I could cook a delicious 2 layered mini-cake in my easy bake oven with no burn, and it wasn’t undercooked :]!
8. jbjr - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:30 am
Toy drums or play- dough come to mind. Concerning #7 - don’t I know it. My daughter has done all that over the years. Opening those packages can make a parent go insane - if only for a few minutes. Cap guns too.
9. bwmyers18 - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:18 am
jbjr beat me to it - toy drums !!!
10. stevenh - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:32 am
BishopWhiteT:
Spoken like a true parent!
The only thing left of this list is the dread live anything… but I suppose only ‘toy poodle’ would qualify.
11. Frazzzld - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:36 am
The Barbie dolls made me laugh because I have a cat that has brought home 3 so far (some kid left her toys outside apparently) and they were all naked. LOL
12. stevenh - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:36 am
Oh and glitter.
My kids had a TOTAL ban on glitter growing up.
13. ct305 - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 am
Jacks and marbles always seemed to upset my parents. Also Pogs got on my parents nerves as well. I don’t know if it was the pointlessness of them or finding them everywhere even after they went out of style.
14. Frazzzld - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:53 am
ct305: Pogs sound familiar but I can’t picture it in my head. What exactly are they?
15. spence425 - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 am
i’d have to say the following deserve consideration, though i can’t argue with any that made the list.
Play-Doh
Legos - see description of both barbies and lite brite
anything that grows - live animals, chia pets, plants of any sort (especially the dreaded cactus).
16. spence425 - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:02 am
haha…pogs. that’s a good one. pogs are essentially large fake coins…i have no idea what they were used for, but i think collecting primarily.
17. stevenh - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:18 am
The POG fad was a brilliant marketing scheme that took a stupid game and made a ton of money.
The older ListVersers may remember Tiddlywinks - using one disk to snap a second, smaller disk into a cup. The disks in Tiddlywinks were all the same - single color plastic. In POG they were different, and collectable. And over priced.
When I was in college Winks was somewhat on the same level as beer pong.
http://www.tiddlywinks.org/
18. Mikerodz - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:20 am
Thanks for reminding my problems with my kids. Reading this list will teach you how to laugh with your own misery.
By the way, I have no idea about #6.
19. lola - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:24 am
Well written list, I enjoyed the humorous aspect of it all. In my experience electronic noisemakers which are almost all mainstream toys now, are the worst, I throw them out the next day.
20. JwJwBean - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:33 am
My sister gave my kids a toy that I can not even remember the name of for the life of me. It was something like Tinny Time Choo Choo or Tunie Time Choo Choo or something similar. Anyway this wonderful train ran on batteries and it had little plastic disks that had bumps on them. You put a disk in and as the train chugged all around it played in a very hugh pitched whistle sound a song like Twinkle, Twinknle or Mary had a little lamb. And even if there was no disc in it made an even higher pitched whistle that was constant. I think that toy got lost.
Oh and we had gotten a talking Barney doll from someone. Barney is aweful. Anyway, the thing did not have a way to remove the batteries and the damn thing still worked 10 years after we got it. We found it when we moved and pawned it off on a neighbor.
21. DJ - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:37 am
I screwed up and got mine a rock polisher/tumbler/noise making machine..This thing had to run for almost 3 days to make a handfull of smooth shiny rocks. I put boxes over it and pillows to try and smother the noise. But dont dare turn it off and try to tell a 3 year old why her rocks are not shiny and pretty while mama and daddy are also not shiny and pretty from lack of sleep
22. Frazzzld - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 am
DJ: I remember that machine… my brother got one for Christmas and he only got to use it once and then it mysteriously disappeared.
23. a-redneck - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:56 am
And you LIKE government?
24. Anthony - March 23rd, 2008 at 7:46 am
I think any toy which contains glitter is infinitely more horrible than all of those put together. Beads may get around, but glitter ends up EVERYWHERE. Walking around with Glitter on your face all day isn’t a nice experience. Especially if you don’t know it’s there…
25. stevenh - March 23rd, 2008 at 7:56 am
Anthony:
True. When I said TOTAL (#12), it was close to absolute as a parent can get (rather damn close). Even if the kid came home from school with a glitter painted project - out it went.
They got over it … for the most part.
26. fishing4monkeys - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 am
Jeez…pokemon, yugioh, digimon, all so annoying!! And I compleatly agree with this list! Nice one
27. Twinkle - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:06 am
the barbie thing is hilarious! i remember i had several barbie dolls when i was young. first thing to do is strip em. next is shampoo the hair. when the hair dries, it just kind of gets whack! so i cut the hair. and the barbie becomes really ugly with the ugly new hair. so i throw it on the wall. and head and body separates. lol. the end.
28. Ginger Lee - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 am
You left off the bucket of the 50,00 toy soldiers and the 100,000 box of little plastic Legos. My step-nieces and nephews seem to spread those damn things everywhere when they came over despite the concept of the TOY ROOM.
And markers…shudder.
29. BrotherMan - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am
My nephew runs around with one of those god forsaken toy laser guns that flash bright lights and have that really annoying WEE-WEE-WEE-WEE sound.
I often wonder if the marketing team for all of the aforementioned products even have children of their own. If they do then they are just down right evil people.
30. Phender_Bender - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:24 am
Good list, my sister used to have more Barbies and accessories then Toys ‘R’ Us. I love kids and can’t wait to have my own! Happy Easter everyone!!
31. DV82XL - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:27 am
My children are now in their early twenties, and have left home. This list was a walk down memory lane -particularly the item about stepping on a lite-brite peg at 2 am. The only thing I am waiting for now is my kids to breed so my grandchildren can take my revenge on them.
32. downhighway61 - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:38 am
haha, this is so true.
i’ve experienced the bubbles, and the loud toys.
my son is only 2, so i still have a few more years before we hit them all. i’m sure my parents are trying really hard not to laugh everytime i complain to them about the bubbles, i remember it being one of my favorite things when i was little
33. RocknRollRehab - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
lol This list made me smile and brought back some memories. I had almost all of this stuff! No wonder my parents are as nuts as they are
34. xog - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 am
the barbie thing makes me insane. last christmas i got the boxcutter to cut those reinforced plastic coated metal twist ties. the best is the stupid hair, it’s sewn to the box!
glitter was also banned when i was a child. as were marbles, jacks, and legos. we have wooden floors and let me tell you, stepping on a duplo block not only hurts, but you slide, prolonging the pain.
my kids are about to dig into their easter baskets. my husband, the genius, got easter grass. i’ll be finding that until next easter.
35. ringtailroxy - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 am
for Christmas I bought my boyfriend’s little sister (and I mean little… there is a 26 year difference between them!) a paint set, a messenger bag, and a percussion set with bongos, maracas, and other various noisemakers. And you know what? I haven’t seen my boyfriend’s mother or his sister at our house since… coincidence? I think not…
p.s. I happen to paint all the time and have bongos myself… but maybe at the tender age of 6 is too young for such creative instruments…)
~ringtailroxy
36. Csimmons - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 am
man, pokemon, yu-gi-oh, digimon, all are annoyig as hell. I used to like them though.
37. Mom424 - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:15 am
You all forgot Wallwalkers. I remember waking up the parents and anyone in adjoining rooms Christmas Morning at 5 AM. (We used to stay in a hotel over Christmas, visiting the Grandparents). And they leave spit rings all over the walls.
Damn near as disgusting as slime.
Oh and the pyramid shaped block from Lincoln Logs, cleaved my heel damn near in half.
And dinky toys will absolutely smash the impeller on your very excellent, self powered, upright Hoover.
And any toy that is part of a marketing ploy for a cartoon series is automatically crap. Guaranteed not to work like the commercials, break within 15 minutes of opening it, and cause much disappointment and bawling.
38. kathryn - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 am
Next we need a list of toys parents dread because it kills their children.
put them magnet toys on their and marbles and whatever the hell else stupid little children insist on eating.
Nice list though. Barbies are annoying to get out of the box. Can’t count how many times me or my parents almost died from almost impaling ourselves with the scissors trying to open the box.
39. blaze fielding - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:31 am
Play-doh is another one. we were never allowed play doh because it was such a pain to get all the tiny little flecks of doh out of the carpet…
40. Diogenes - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:32 am
bag-0-glass.
i think kids should just be told that “barbie doesn’t get to leave her box sweetie, she’s been very very bad and must stay in there forever, but you can wave to her through the plastic window,”hello barbie, hello.”
bubbles and rednecks, mmmmm. yummy.
41. nikki - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am
haha i’ve had every one of these at one time in my life. my mom always dreaded the beanie babies and play-doh. those barbies were a pain in the butt getting out. like someone said above me, their hair is freakin SEWED to the box.but i blew them up w/ bottle rockets last year for fun. =3
42. Lorcan - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am
Ugh pogs. A pointless game of flipping over plastic coins with superhero-type pictures on them. “See how many I’VE got” etc. My poor mother is still finding them in my old bedroom and that’s after 15 years.
I also recall the fascination with board games like Mouse-Trap!, Connect Four etc, with pieces that just went everywhere, so that you had fifteen board games with missing pieces strewn in the most random places around the house.
Thankfully Pokemon was after my time, I’ve watched it and I so do not get it…
43. Ghidoran - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 am
I don’t get it. Pokemon? Pokemon what?
44. AlyshiaH - March 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am
Love this list. I hate it when my son gets a new noisy toy. Some are cute, but if i ever have to see the “up up Elmo” again i will have to shoot someone. My sons up up elmo vanished one day, i told him elmo went hom to his mommy and daddy.. hasnt asked for it sence.. thank god.
45. BrotherMan - March 23rd, 2008 at 10:21 am
I just remembered this one:
Squeaky toys.
My father HATED when we got a toy that squeaked. I remember one time when we were on vacation in Florida and went to an alligator farm down there and I got a souvenir plastic alligator that squeaked and he flipped his lid after about a half an hour. He took it away and ripped the squeak apparatus out of it. I was upset at the time, but now that I am all grown up I totally understand why he felt that way.
I also just thought of another one:
Those damn See n Say things. We had one that ended up breaking and it would say weird stuff like “The purple cat says MOOO!”. Even when they work properly they become monotonous and annoying very quickly.
46. goof_ball - March 23rd, 2008 at 10:21 am
Ha ha! So true!
47. AmoAmare - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:28 am
While not a parent, I have spent years working with children, and currently run the afterschool program of a daycare. If you think some of these toys are bad in the hands of two or three children, imagine a roomful of gradeschoolers let loose with noismakers and silly string brought in by one (obviously sadistic) parent as a birthday treat! And keeping that in mind, I would add to the list:
Yo Yos: They quickly turn into weapons as frustrated six year-olds discover that “walk the dog” is too difficult and “clock a seven year-old in the head while swinging a yo yo around like a mace” is much easier. Also, the strings get tangled, forcing the teacher to spend her time untangling them, rather than vigilantly preventing the aforementioned game from taking place.
Super bounce balls: Devastasting elements of destruction when employed indoors, quickly lost and cried-over when played with outside.
And finally, one my from childhood:
Slip and Slide: My parents would almost never let us play with ours, for several reasons: 1. It took forever to set up 2. It absolutely ruined the lawn around it and 3. No sooner would it be set up, than someone would slip-and-slide into the house, over a jagged rock, or into another child. They should have been packaged with directions to the nearest emergency room.
48. BrotherMan - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 am
AmoAmare: I remember slip and slides. They were pretty dangerous.
What about the blatantly dangerous Lawn Darts? Anyone remember those accursed things? It only took about 5 or 6 kids that got lawn darts stabbed through their skulls for the toy industry to pull them from the shelves.
49. sdggrant - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
My mom always used to trip out when people would get me nerf guns. Imagine a 8 year old kid, hopped up on pepsi, rambo blaring on the tv in the backround, and a gun to shoot shit up(mainly the dog). Fun times
50. romerozombie - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:44 am
Every BB gun I’ve ever had has been taken away from me! I can’t help it if people get in my firing line.
Pokemon owns. My mum and dad spent a fortune on them for me. And then either threw or gave them away.
51. chelsie - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
I think that Fubie should have made this list, I remeber getting one for Christmas and it would not shut up for three days straight!! I had to take the batteries out of it!
52. romerozombie - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
chelsie: me too. I begged my parents for one, I got it, and after a few days it started it’s new life on a shelf collecting dust. /furbydie
53. reenay - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:53 am
I don’t remember the comedian but I remember the oh-so-true line…”Glitter is the herpes of the craft world”. We are very happy shiny people at my house.
54. romerozombie - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 am
Easy bake oven - telling girls their place since the 20th century. I actually had a toy oven. But you put goo in it and it made edible bugs. It was manly. Really.
*does press-ups*
55. Rylan - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Ten more reasons why I won’t have kids. Thanks
56. romerozombie - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Rylan: at least if you had kids, you’d have an excuse to play with toys again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
57. FifthSonata - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Things I must add:
1. GLITTER
2. GLITTER
3. GLITTER
4. GLITTER
5. play makeup
6. GLITTER
and
….yes, I agree with Slip & Slides.
I was a tomboy as a kid, so when someone bought me glitter or play makeup, I would end up looking more like a sparkly pissed off clown than anything. Open opening, even with care, you find glitter in very bad places for at least a few weeks. And it won’t be just you, the glitter-opener, it will be any innocent bystander as well.
As for slip & slides…my parents never actually bought me one, so a friend and I ended up stealing trashbags, taping them together, and spraying each other with a hose. I think at one time we got the genius idea of trying to use sleeping bags…until we ripped holes in them and got the spanking of a lifetime.
Ah, the fun (and pain) of childhood!
58. hyppichyc - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Ok, here’s my top ten. And yes, most of these have been mentioned, but they need to be reiterated for impact: 10. legos 9. bubbles 8. Barbie accessories 7. beads 6.play-do 5. silly putty 4. markers 3. lite brite 2. puzzles/games w/ small pieces 1. those magnet stick and ball thingys. I throw those away immediately. I tend to keep all legos & Barbie things, no matter how many times I step on them. I don’t know why. We must have thousands of them.
59. Angelina - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Awesome list! I loved my Easy Bake Oven when I was a kid. Every X-mas I asked for a Barbie Perfume Maker, but I never got one. I wonder why?
60. Insaniac - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
I love that comment by BrotherMan, “The purple cat says MOOO!” I was rolling from the laughter from that.. Good times.. Good times…
61. Lewis - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
What about BB guns?
62. Lizim - March 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
OMG!!! When I was about 4 my aunt sent me a panda that played the cymbals. About a week later it disapeared. My mom told me that it broke, so she had thrown it away.
When I was 17 I was looking in her closet for something, and there it was! In perfect working order! I played it once and found it so irritating that I put it back where it was and thanked her for taking it away!
63. Crimanon - March 23rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Lite brtie HA! Legos are the worst, next to micro machines. And anyone who gave up on their legos That quick, Should be playing with plants right now. Engineers Rock!
64. Ghidoran - March 23rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Just commenting to stop receiving e-mails. Got 21
65. Maxx_the_Slash - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Just think, Pokemon haters, when the trend started, there were 150 Pokemon with 1 special oneNintendo had to give out. At present time there are a total of 493. Those ****ing things wont DIE!
66. Bri - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Agreed on the Lite Brite things, nothing is quite so painful as stumbling around the house at 2am to get a glass of water and suddenly finding a light bright peg embedded in your foot.
However, you forgot one of the major and more simplistic pain-in-the-ass toys; the little plastic whistle and/or kazoo. Giving a kid one of these is like setting a 40 of whiskey in front of a recovering alcoholic…they just can’t resist.
67. Bri - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Ooh, and also…McDonalds happy meal toys. They never get played with, they often have sharp edges, and they account for about 2$ of the price.
68. jocsboss - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I always thought that any toy musical instrument had to be the worst. Especially harmonicas. Kids just put them in their mouths and breath in and out and in and out and in and out and ……
69. ylekiot - March 23rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I too remember having all of these, but my kids have none thank god. My brother still has the scar from our brilant game of lawn dart tag. HE shows it every time we get together.
70. beanshide - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I remembered another present that parents hate: miniature drum kits. Because every child think they are the best artists in the whole world and they’ll play it until parents either lock it somewhere away from the child or have a nervous breakdown.
71. darthbarbie - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
My kids are still younger(under 10) and we have a ban on silly putty. We lost two blankets, and a shiny carpet stain in our family room (it was glitter silly putty). According to the web site to get it out you need a variety of things. WD-40, rubbing alcohol and a bunch of other stuff. It was crazy and not worth the 2 bucks the silly putty was….
72. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
My mother was always good for giving other peoples kids modeling clay and finger paints!!!!!
Oh yea and the loud noisy toys usually some kind of plastic musical instrument or a harmonica!!
73. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
#34 xog I banned Easter Grass and Christmas Tree tinsel years and years ago
74. Csimmons - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
something else, play-doh, that was a bitch to get out of the carpet, and my play-doh hamburgers tasted awful
75. Csimmons - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
oh, slip-n’-slides suck ass too, I went over to friends who had one, I got to the end and didn’t stop, I still have bruises
76. Catriona - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Play Doh and Glitter - absolutely the worst. And although it’s not really a toy…a sandpit! Thats what preschool is for isn’t it
77. Crimanon - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Stormy: my mother would go off on bi-yearly screaming fits because of the stuff. Now I forbid it at home.
78. Lucy - March 23rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
i don’t have any kids myself (yet) and i am the youngest sibling/cousin so i have never dealt with little kids so i don’t know this stuff from experience.
but i don’t even remember having half of this stuff. my parents pretty much handed me a book and said have fun. i was deprived i guess.
i do vaguely remember an easy bake oven somewhere but i don’t think i ever used it.
79. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Crimanon: I know it seems like you got just about all the easter grass out of the house finally and oh look just in time to put up the Christmas tree and you find tinsel all over the house till at least June or July.
My kids are 14 and 16 now but when they were younger I would usually get them like a cool t-shirt or something similar to put in the bottom of the baskets that way they got something extra and I saved a huuuuuuuge hassle!!!! LOL
80. Susan - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I put Silly Putty in the toaster on my third birthday. My mom still reminds me of that, and I’m 42.
My daughter had a Crayola Crayon Maker. Break up crayons, melt them, get burned, end up with a puce half-formed crayon, put on shelf forever.
81. jfrater - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
susan: hahaha beautifully put
82. QDV - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
My parents dreaded any kind of projectile “toy.” My wrist rocket didn’t last long, and after I nailed a neighborhood kid in the forehead with a rubber-tipped arrow from my “toy” bow and arrow (à la Herbert Lom in “The Pink Panther Strikes Again”), that one went over my uncle’s knee. Fortunately, I was too fast for him to go over his knee myself. For my part, I get even with my in-laws by giving their children noisy toys, which are usually long-broken by the time I visit anyways.
83. Crimanon - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Stormy: I hadn’t even considered the Tee. As long as it’s not a seasonal tee I think i’d probably do the same thing. I know I really don’t need anymore Christmas boxers!
84. Insaniac - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Wow. Jfrater FINALLY commented! I still think the “The purple cat goes MOOO!” comment is the best out of these. XD I still bust out laughing after I think about that!! But this set of comments has had me laughing more then any other list. Maybe you should put up a big funny comic or joke list just for the heck of it Jfrater.
85. jocsboss - March 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
We stopped putting tinsel on our tree after our cat decided to eat it one year. It doesn’t digest. We had a cat with tinsel coming out it’s butt for days.
86. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I must admit though I did have one other reason for not wanting tinsel on my tree after I became an adult. When I was a little kid I had an aunt who every time we decorated my grandmothers tree, she INSISTED that every single piece of tinsel had to be placed individually on the tree and it had to pretty much be perfectly even. UUUGGGHHHH drives me crazy now just to think about it LOL
And a comment on the Legos they used to drive me crazy stepping on them and while my sister would throw them out at her house I absolutely would not. Those things cost almost as much as gold LOL ;P
87. Miss Destiny - March 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Lite Brite and Easy Bake Oven - two of my favorite toys growing up.
I think “huge dollhouses with hundreds of tiny pieces and stickers included” should go on this list. My uncle got me just that one year for some holiday or other and I made my mom put each and every little sticker on that house for me, so I wouldn’t mess it up. She couldn’t wait until he had kids so she could get her revenge!
88. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
OH Miss Destiny you just reminded me of another “toy” that parents dread. STICKER BOOKS!!!
You guys know the ones, its a book of blank or theme pages with sheets and sheets of stickers. And about 10% of the stickers ended up in the book and the other 90% all over the house.
On walls, dressers, doors, headboards, televisions. You know everywhere else except in the book
89. 5′10″ - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
There are a lot of comments and I haven’t read them all but has anybody cared to mention that silltstring is FLAMMABLE!?!?! Great stuff, that!
90. 5′10″ - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
oops, sillYstring!
91. theDEFENESTRATOR - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
wow i had 8 out of 10 of these. i was a tomboy so i didn’t really have a lot of dress-up clothes. and although i didn’t have my own lite-brite, i borrowed it from my neighbor, giving my parents the chance to step on the pieces in the wee hours of the morning.
must agree on glitter and tinsel and eastroturf.
for some reason my parents (or somebody) got me this GIGANTIC set of a million and a half types of beads. the thing sat under my bed for years without ever being used. i think i tried to use it before we moved so it would be worthwhile, but by that time i was too old to find it any fun.
silly putty was soooo fun but impossible to get out of carpets.
play-doh is delicious. and hard to get out of carpets. *burp*
easy bake oven came with a whole bunch of different delicious cake/cookie mixes (which tasted way better BEFORE being mixed and cooked), but inevitably the best mixes would be eaten first (chocolate chip cookie, chocolate brownie, sugar cookie, etc), leaving all the crappy mixes that no one wanted to eat (oatmeal cookie, etc). my mom refused to buy me the replacement mixes until i finished the ones that came with it. those packets were never used.
i loved slime (and all its variants) but i was only allowed to play with it in the kitchen on the linoleum floor so my parents wouldn’t have to worry about getting it out of the carpet.
i was a pokemon FREAK. i had the games, cards, figurines, movies, EVERYTHING. my parents spent a fortune on it. i still play the game boy games from time to time (i’m almost 18)… hopeless nerd. :/
92. xog - March 23rd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
i was vigilant this morning with the easter grass. i’m in the pics, hovering behind my three kids, waiting to snatch it away. every year i tell hubby not to get it, and every year he does anyway. at least i’ve gotten him to restrain himself in the candy department.
i’ve got something else to add. anything that needs to be put together. i am almost done with a swingset/fortt thing that took so long i started calling it a hobby instead of a project. as a child i had a barbie dream house that never was all the way put together.
93. Rylan - March 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
“at least if you had kids, you’d have an excuse to play with toys again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Ha! I don’t need an excuse!
94. flgh - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 pm
jfrater, you forgot one thing: 8 out of the 10 are MADE IN CHINA.
And honestly, Pokemon is ‘cute-sified’ cockfighting.
95. stormy617 - March 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
LOL Rylan, That is so true. My father is so totally into legos and he has built some awesome stuff with them. He says its because he never had legos to play with when he was a kid LOL
And speaking of Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh, my 59 y/o mother is so totally into them. The whole nine yards she watches the cartoons, and has her own deck of dueling cards and she and my 16 y/o son duel from time to time. She even owns a ton of yu-gi-oh dvds.
96. NZSpringy - March 24th, 2008 at 1:09 am
I must have been sheltered when I was a kid from the horrors of Glitter because one year, thinking I was being a really cool parent, I scattered glitter all the way from the fireplace, up the stairs to the bottom of my kids beds where there stockings were hung. It was supposed o be Santas’ trail. What the **** was I on!
97. RFGRAHAM - March 24th, 2008 at 3:33 am
BEADS should be #1. My daughter once received a huge box; plastered across the front was “5000 Beads!!!” Was that supposed to be a selling point? Thank goodness, there were other gifts. I was able to sneak the box out of the room and into the closet. That is where it sat for 3 years. My Cousin, (the thoughtful gift giver) had a daughter that reached the wonderful age of six. Guess what her daughter received as a birthday present? A week later, my cousin called to tell me how much she hated the gift we gave her daughter. I told her what goes around comes around.
SILLY STRING should also be higher. How do you get it off the lawn? Or the driveway after the summer sun has melted it into the tar? It is easy to get it of the bushes, if you don’t mind getting pinched and scraped.
98. RFGRAHAM - March 24th, 2008 at 3:43 am
My house also has a 5 piece rule. NO toys over 5 pieces.
By my youngest is now 9 and the rules has slipped a little with nref darts.
What is with packaging? It’s not just Barbie. every toy you buy now takes 20 minutes to get out of the package. They package these toys like they are travelling to the moon! Hey, China is not that far!. Wire cutters, scissors, a blow torch, screw driver, some band-aids and a battery hunt and we are good to go.
99. Mr. Mojo - March 24th, 2008 at 4:45 am
Another aspect of bubbles: Approximately 10 minutes after the kids open the bottle, liquid soap becomes as rare as cheap gasoline. I’ve seen my kids burn through a full bottle of Dawn dishwashing soap in the time it took me to go to the bathroom. Laundry detergent, hand sanitizer…it doesn’t matter. If you could possibly get a bubble out of it, it’s gone.
“Bratz” and the billion cheap clones - call me old, but they just look slutty. When I was a kid growing up back in the dino days (80’s) parents said the same thing about Barbie, but Bratz take it to a new level.
Any “trading card game” - have you ever tried scraping half-dissolved cardboard out of a washing machine? I’m sure my son isn’t the only one who forgets to take these out of his pocket on a regular basis.
100. Bass - March 24th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Another one: M-A-R-B-L-E-S. Marbles can get anywhere: under furniture, on the rug, in your stomach (shut up, I was only 3). And, man, if you’ve ever gotten one of THOSE lodged in your heel at 3 ‘o clock in the morning… well, let God have mercy on your soul.
101. DiscHuker - March 24th, 2008 at 5:07 am
what about this, ummm, unfortunate product…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....g&NR=1
102. Jeannie - March 24th, 2008 at 5:58 am
I got my son some of that Nickolodean “slime” stuff when he was 6 or 7. Within 5 minutes he rubbed it in his hair and this crap does not come out! We had to shave his head.
My sister in law thought it would be hysterical to give my kids a Lite Brite for Christmas even though I begged her not to. Needless to say, her daughter got a lovely million piece bead set for her birthday. Sweet revenge!
103. reid1201 - March 24th, 2008 at 6:21 am
This is a Uncle’s Christmas Gift checklist….Thanks!
104. skeev - March 24th, 2008 at 6:59 am
I’ve never stepped on a lite brite peg, but my Mom will tell you horror stories of stepping on my Legos in bare feet.
105. Phillies - March 24th, 2008 at 8:07 am
I remember one time, someone came down to visit my mom from NYC (we were about
and she gave us some kind of toy. I can’t remember the name. It was NoodleCraps, or something like that. Some pieces were long noodles that could bend and twist while other pieces were flat areas the noodles could connect to.
I enjoyed them. Mom did not enjoy the thousands of little chunks that naturally wear off these things that she found in every corner of the house for months after we finally got rid of em.
Just my 2 cents
106. HandyMandy - March 24th, 2008 at 8:22 am
Those freaking little green army men, that come about 500 for a dollar. For some reason everyone in my family thinks this is a good gift for my son. And we have a large family so everbody gets him a bag or two. When you mow the yard you can’t tell if it’s grass or plastic army men body parts coming out of the lawn mower.
107. eb - March 24th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Has anyone walked into a minefield of legos at 3:30 in the morning? I can guarantee that it is way worse than stepping onto lite brite peices.
108. Wanderer - March 24th, 2008 at 11:47 am
I remember my parents hating those giant sticky hands, that you can use to grab things, and most of the time they left hand/feet/animal whatever they were on the walls. especially if we played see who’s gets unstuck first.
109. Dana - March 24th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
My daughter loved Pokemon and for about 2 years, she collected them. Then, of course, she got sick of them and I couldn’t sell them, nay even give them away. They ended up at the Salvation Army store.
About a year later, kid decides she wants to start collecting Pokemon again…
110. James - March 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
One time (I was about 4 or 5, IIRC) my parents gave me playdough and left me in the other room. It was then that I created my masterpiece: two whole cans of playdough mashed into an amorphous blob on the carpet. I quickly called my parents to come see what I had accomplished. I had no idea why I got such a whipping, or why I never got playdough again…
111. Tonny SS - March 24th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Uh. I’m 25 years old male, with a Master Degree.
I still collect Pokemon, and damn proud of it. Just got Clefairy plastic figure from Mizuwa Supermarket in Jersey. NICE!
112. 666 - March 24th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Tonny SS,
Uh. Not that I don’t believe you…but I don’t believe you.
Master of ?
M.P. Masters of Pukeman
Here is why:
1. People with advanced degrees do not feel the need to announce this information unsolicited.
2. Especially in the same sentence as Pukemon.
3. Uh
113. 666 - March 24th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Master of Puppets?
114. 666 - March 24th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Where is my manners? I forgot to congratulate you on your ’score’…you know the plastic doll. Aewsome!
115. samantha - March 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
when i was real little i got an easy bake oven for christmas and my brothers (8 and 12) mixed basically all the mixes together into a giant demented coookie thing and tried to cook it but they left the plastica spatula in their so it melted(the spatula) and the house reeked. the oven myteriously dissappeared after that lol
116. Tonny SS - March 24th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Master of Pokemons!
117. Tonny SS - March 24th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
It’s not a doll, it’s collectible action figure.
118. Crimanon - March 24th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Masterpoker? Ew, bad thought.
119. Denzell - March 25th, 2008 at 1:34 am
I so agree, these toys can cause a ruckus between parents and children. (I would so hate to wear a mismatched, poorly made, or incomplete bracelet that my future daughter may ask me to wear…)
120. Drogo - March 25th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Deep in the far recesses of my basement, under a thick, thick layer of dust, I found my Lite-Brite…. So far I’ve made the “House with Yardlight.” And now I’m going to make the “Choo Choo Train!”
121. BishopWhiteT - March 25th, 2008 at 11:56 am
The toys that I didn’t have on this list (the girls’ stuff) made their way through my household via my 2 daughters. My youngest one is a Pokemon Master (I bought ‘em all). She also has my Lite Brite from when I was her age (and all of my LEGOs).
On a side note, when I was a teenager I dug out the lite brite and used it for all sorts of horrible things (rainbow-colored curse words, obscene pictures, etc.)
I had the slime with worms. I can still smell it if I think about it. *ugh*
As far as LEGO brand building blocks (their offical name - I used to have a box where they actually requested that you not refer to them as “LEGO’s”) go, I still build stuff with my daughter all of the time. We like to build cities and subject them to monster attacks or just random acts of destruction.
I miss the toy gun aisle at Toys R Us. I still have a bunch of my old toy gus that look totally real. I used to pull out the little orage cap. People didn’t really assume that a gun was real if a child was holding it back then.
122. SpookyMulder - March 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Like 10 years ago on Halloween we had those sticky eyeballs which we proceeded to stick to the ceiling. There are still eyeball marks on the ceiling which will not come off. Lol. Hillarious List!
123. Nightstalker - March 25th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I’m suprised that trading card games weren’t mentioned on this list. The fortunes that parents spend so their kids can have the best, most powerful cards is unbelieveable. I play Yu-Gi-Oh and I have seen how much people charge for cards.
ex. - Gate Guardian, $50 at the card store!! There is no way I will pay that much for a piece of cardboard with a shiny picture on it.
124. Satori - March 25th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
This is a great list–and it reminds me that I am NOT ready to deal with even remotely some of the things that come with being one. I remember having those toys, and having them be a pain in the butt for my mom! I would add crayons…those were ALL over the walls often!
125. MattMarti - March 25th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Great list, i laughed at the pokemon/heroin thing. we used to have an easybake, i think we only made a couple of brownies and thats it.
126. GloryBells - March 26th, 2008 at 3:39 am
Oh gosh, I could SO relate to some of these, but I disagree with the Barbie one. Although I’m not a big fan of Barbie,I have to admit that every little girl I know, once the doll and accessories were wrestled out of the package, played with them for a long time. Sometimes years. Yep, the hair matted, sometimes got a trim, and lots of heads, arms and legs fell off in an attempt to change the rediculously tight fitting clothes, but play with them they did, even in their dismembered state. All in all, I really enjoyed this list.
127. GatorGirl - March 26th, 2008 at 3:41 am
LOL on the Barbie’s. How about all the little dolls girls get, Polly Pockets, et al. You guys ever tried to dress one of those type dolls? I think trying to get on the tiny rubber clothes is worse than getting Barbie out of the box….well almost……
128. Cole - March 26th, 2008 at 6:06 am
Why is everyone so uptight about these toys? The kids enjoy them so I don’t mind them. Well I do mind the crazy packaging most toys are secured with. What they hell are toy makers thinking when they package those? Kids are standing over us in excitement while we remove the 800 ties that hold them in. Annoying! I can’t complain about bubbles. They lighten a kids mood in an instant. I have no complaints about those.
129. kat - March 26th, 2008 at 8:55 am
No wonder my parents have gray hair!! hahaha.
130. Amie - March 26th, 2008 at 10:22 am
What about moon sand, and floam?
131. schwani4474 - March 26th, 2008 at 11:30 am
This list was so true! I totally agree, and I too had most of these growing up. But I do have to say that you can make something good with the easy bake oven. When I was a kid I got to make the ears on the mickey mouse cake my mom made! It was great and I got a lot of compliments, of course I was only like 5 and I don’t think anyone would have said a bad thing! But seriously, it did come out cooked ok. And I also have to say “amen” on that barbie thing! I hate opening those packages, it’s also with any kind of doll, I hate it!
132. chrisfraz - March 26th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Oh my Goodness! This list is exactly what I would have written with 6 kids I totally agree with the every single item!
133. ksctyval - March 26th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Does anybody remember Lawn Darts? Those things were so dangerous. Who came up with the idea of giving kids pointed missiles to launch around the yard at each other? They should have packaged the darts along with a voucher for the emergency room.
134. suzi - March 27th, 2008 at 12:40 am
OK, 1993, my sisters and I were in Mexico getting Cancer treatment for our Mom (no flames, she was terminal and wanted to at least try it). We’re in the seedy little motel, and our very sick and weak Mom gets a goofy look on her face, pulls her hand out of her purse and blasts the 3 of us with Silly String.
It was a lighthearted, joyful moment we all desperately needed. One I hadn’t thought of in years, thanks Listverse for reminding me.
BTW, around here we love quite a few of the toys on your list.
135. suzi - March 27th, 2008 at 12:42 am
And the thing you DONT want to step on at 2:00am is a Lego!!!
136. Gomez - March 27th, 2008 at 8:20 am
#6, Electronic Noisemakers, needs to be #1.
I’m listening to my son’s TMX Elmo right now. For you lucky, ignorant few, TMX stand for “Tickle Me eXtreme.” Touch the Elmo doll’s foot or belly and he goes into a manic tirade of laughter, shaking, rolling around and generally psychotic behavior.
Oy…
137. Scully - March 28th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Has anyone noticed the difference in the hair of Barbie’s over the last 20 years or so? The ones I got as a kid in the late 70s/ early 80s is still silky and unmatted. The ones I got my nieces in the 90s/ 2000s just became a matted clump in a matter of months.
138. Crimanon - March 28th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Scully: They’re probably going for cheaper production, new synthetics most likely. They already have the market cornered on Barbie Heads.
139. seethrougheyes - March 29th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Oh my goodness! I have children and let me say some toys I would love to just pitch in the garbage. What makes toy makers think these are good for children? What’s worse? I’ll tell you, it’s not the parents who are buying them for their children, it’s the granparents or other people who think they will be fun for the kids. Come on! I think it’s a twisted way for granparents to seek some kind of revenge.
I was shocked to see bubbles on this list until I read the very bottom of the statement - the incessant “Can we go out to blow bubbles?” That is certainly a fact!
140. Sneeuwpop - March 31st, 2008 at 8:28 am
I don’t have any kids for myself, but I can definitely see the horror and pain in the eyes of parents who’s kids play with those toys.
However, I don’t see why Pokemon is a ‘dread’. Is it the videogame or the cards, cause i really don’t see it. The fact that they don’t look like anything can’t be that annoying, can it?
Otherwise great list, made me chuckle a few times.
141. BAnder - March 31st, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Hilareous but pretty accurate. I remember how long it took to get the Barbie doll out. An hour later, it was naked, feet chewed and clumps of blonde hair everywhere. The accessories where just a waste. The easybake oven was such a pain to lug out. Spend $5 for cake batter, 2 hours to bake with the lightbulb and end up with something the size of a cookie.
142. palmtreedreams17 - April 1st, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I would have added Play Dough and glitter and Legos. Legos suck in the middle of the night when you step on them. Even worse than the Lite Brite pieces.
143. Jym - April 6th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Concerning number two, why not a mudkipz?
144. caboose - April 17th, 2008 at 4:26 am
Those beads are CAN be more dreadful than you think, might want give them an extra bump after reading this
[url]http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22716187-661,00.html[/url]
145. jadey - June 15th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
to be aboslutly hoest i hated the look of barbies when i was a kid wich was wired coz i was a real girly girl!!! and i still think they are stupid and they should be banned
PS:my little sis came up to me and said “i want to look like barbie!” that made me so angry!>:{
146. rushfan - June 16th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Dude, I loved my Easy Bake Oven. And my Snoopy Snowcone Machine. I used to sell snowcones on the street corner. My, how times have changed.
147. MPW - June 17th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
easy bake oven food is just awful
148. Horrid Brother - June 24th, 2008 at 10:53 am
When I was ten years old, I talked my six year old sister into playing Joan of Arc with one of her Barbie dolls. (I had just seen the movie starring Ingrid Bergman on TV.)
We took Barbie behind the garage, and out of view from our parents, and put together a small pile of sticks and Kleenex. We tied Barbie to a stake (pencil and rubber binders) and stuck her in the middle of the pile. After a few dramatic words were recited, I lit the match. Barbie went up like a torch.
My sister enjoyed this, but about half way through the burning, the realization of what was actually happening to Barbie hit her. She started to scream and cry, and I had to promise to buy her another Barbie for her birthday in order to keep her from telling Mom & Dad.