Top 20 Ways To Confuse Trick or Treaters
Published on October 31, 2007 - 39 Comments
Tonight is going to be a busy night for many people - opening the door and dishing out candy and other treats - and in some cases, hiding every time the doorbell goes. Why not add a bit of spice in to your Halloween this year with some of these clever ways to confuse trick or treaters?
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!!!” Act like it’s a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don’t move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away. When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, “Crawl for it!”
8. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away.
9. Open the door and pretend to be drunk. Offer the trick or treaters a sampler of liquor (this is especially effective if the trick or treaters are with their parents) - this is a sure fire way to get rid of unwanted visitors!
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their own candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only things you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M’s and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don’t have any candy.
18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of aspirin.
19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin and adore it. This is particularly effective if you live in a Southern Baptist neighborhood.
20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you’re finished.
Source: The Madness Mansion
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1. Juggz - October 31st, 2007 at 10:45 am
hahaha, if only i had trick or treaters come t my place
2. jfrater - October 31st, 2007 at 10:48 am
Juggz: they can’t get to mine unless they jump the fence because we have a secured front entrance - so I will be unable to practice too
3. Mathilda - October 31st, 2007 at 11:01 am
They can and will be coming to my place! Now I just have to decide which one(s) to use. I was planning on just giving out rocks like Charlie Brown always got, but these ideas are much better. I’m leaning towards the Pumpkin God. Should I make the trick-or-treaters sing Pumpkin Carols as well, do you think?
Oh spooky night, the witches are all fly-ing, it is the night of our Great Pumpkin’s feast.
4. Ravyn - October 31st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Oh they come to our door. I can’t wait til I am able to send my kids out on their own. Then I can play with these.
btw…#9 why act drunk when you can really be drunk
5. Patrask - October 31st, 2007 at 11:58 am
I actually tried #19 last year, though I insisted that the pumpkin was a god and each kid had to offer a human sacrifice to get any candy.
6. Generic Pawel - October 31st, 2007 at 12:01 pm
It’s ghostmas not hallowe’en…. jeez!
Great list btw
7. Adam W. - October 31st, 2007 at 12:23 pm
A chainsaw works just fine.
8. Kelsi - October 31st, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Hahaha, cute! Makes me wish I wasn’t living on campus. Around here, 18 is likely to actually happen. o.O
9. ben - October 31st, 2007 at 2:15 pm
definitely would be trying these but im going out for my own mischief. sorry no posts, my computer crashed last weekend
10. trebek - October 31st, 2007 at 6:29 pm
I wouldn’t use those marbles in #3 if you value your windows. Not only are they not getting candy, but now they’ve got ammo. I remember taking revenge on any house that didn’t make with the treats. May as well give a zippo to a pyromaniac.
11. aplspud - October 31st, 2007 at 7:03 pm
haha, I wish I had read these before the night was over. I only get about 10 trick or treaters, but I totally would have done some of these. Favorites are 2,3 and 17.
12. NestorV - October 31st, 2007 at 7:48 pm
You should try to dress up like Santa Claus, and give out candy cane and tell them that you wanted to get a jump on the Christmas holiday.
13. Evilmofo - October 31st, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Use some cotton to make webs like everyone else, only difference, go collect as many Real spiders as you can and put them all over your fake web. Dont want to give out candy but still scare. Do this over your front door then go in the back way.
14. Ravyn - October 31st, 2007 at 8:02 pm
NestorV: I love it. That is great.
15. Teeggus - October 31st, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Carmel Covered Onion…. enough said
16. BadgerMan - November 1st, 2007 at 4:12 am
It’s a pity the trick or treaters in the UK demand money instead of candy and start coming to your house on the 1st of october! Great list though, have to admit I did the second one a few years ago, very funny.
17. revx2k1 - November 1st, 2007 at 4:24 am
hahahahah wish i had read this last night.
18. RobS - November 1st, 2007 at 5:16 am
I’ve always wanted to hand out… soup.
It would be a cold and dark night and as the little trick or treaters would come up onto my porch and with smiling faces say, “Trick or Treat!” and hold open their little bags, I would pour in a heaping ladleful of chicken noodle or mushroom bisque soup.
Oh, can you imagine the looks on their little faces and I’d say, “Just a little something to take off the chill…”
19. jfrater - November 1st, 2007 at 5:21 am
RobS: haha that is so cruel!
20. NestorV - November 1st, 2007 at 6:41 am
Man, this list should of been posted a week ago.
21. really? - November 1st, 2007 at 8:37 am
This is stupid. Not even funny at all. #20 almost made me laugh a bit. This is seriously the kind of sense of humor meant for nerds and geeks. I’m kind of a geek myself (found this on stumbleupon) and this isn’t remotely funny. Most trick-or-treaters are like 6-10 years old, you really don’t have to try that hard to confuse them. “Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only things you had left over from Easter.” They wouldn’t protest, they’re 8! They would take it and be happy. This is so stupid, I can’t believe there have 20 people before me to actually think this is funny.
22. aplspud - November 1st, 2007 at 9:30 am
Really?: You’d be surprised at how many teenagers go out trick-or-treating. Also, many of the kids are with their parents who could probably use a laugh while trudging around the neighborhood.
23. Tjgrs - November 1st, 2007 at 10:24 am
really?: dont be a douche…just cause you lack a sense of humor doesn’t mean everyone else is stupid
24. Dana - November 1st, 2007 at 7:01 pm
“Bags of sand”? I don’t know why, but that struck me as terribly funny.
25. the fatbasturd - November 6th, 2007 at 4:20 am
Really?: We had over 400 Trick or Treaters at our house. Most of them Jr. High to High School age.
26. dvhann - November 7th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
ahahaha man, that fish thing was too good. i had only 3 trick or treaters this year.
27. aplspud - November 7th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
fatbasturd: I’m very jealous. As a kid, my neighborhood was *the* place to trick or treat. But where I live now is a ghost town on Halloween (pun intended heh)
28. Sarah - November 10th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
haha i like the catapult one
29. Cazz - November 26th, 2007 at 9:57 am
We only got one trick or treater this year (in the UK, its not so common here) and we didn’t have anything sweets in the house so we gave him a bottle of tobasco sauce and a packet of spaghetti and told him to ‘go nuts’.
He was not impressed.
30. jfrater - November 26th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Cazz: haha - how ungrateful! He had the makings of a good meal there!
31. albert0 - January 17th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Some of these actually work!!! Its hilarious!
32. Christopher - January 27th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
albert0: I know! its sooooo cool. BTW what was our physics prep again?
33. treypole - February 2nd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
When they yell, “Trick or treat!” ask “Or?” and then get really disgusted that they don’t know the rest of it, and give them a scoop of mashed potatoes instead.
34. Llamee - February 24th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Yo, this was totally plagiarized from http://www.wocka.com/2550.html.
35. Miss Destiny - February 24th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Yo, there’s totally a source listed at the bottom of the page. Besides, your link doesn’t work.
36. Natas - March 30th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Yeah, I’m going to give away eggs (leftover from Easter ha ha ha) which will then be thrown at my house.
37. Lwheeler4 - April 1st, 2008 at 12:22 am
All of the pictures you show of MJ freak me out.
=[
lol
38. Phil - April 24th, 2008 at 9:25 am
It’s more fun just to point a gun and go BANG!