Top 10 Bizarre Screen Kisses
Films have been full of loving beautiful kisses since day one – but (thankfully for this site) there have been the occasional weird, off-color, or outright bizarre kisses. This is a list of the ten most bizarre or unusual kisses in film history.
10. Most Confusing Kiss Transamerica
Confusion aspect 1: we have Felicity Huffman (a woman in real life) playing the part of Bree, a man who is about to undergo gender reassignment surgery to become a woman.
Confusion aspect 2: his son (Kevin Zegers, playing Toby) unaware that Bree is his father, falls in love with him thinking he is a woman.
Bizarre aspect: Toby kisses his father passionately. Bree manages to push Toby away and is forced to tell him that she is his father.
9. Upside-down Kiss Spiderman
After being attacked by a gang in an alley and rescued, Mary-Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) was kissed by costumed super-hero Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) — it was an upside-down kiss in the rain in which she peeled back the lower part of his mask after asking: “Do I get to say thank you this time?”
This film was a teenaged version of Dangerous Liaisons (1988), in which an amoral, bitchy, teen-vamp Manhattan step-sister Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Geller) demonstrated her manipulative intentions toward innocent Cecile Caldwell (Selma Blair) to destroy her reputation by teaching her how to slow- and wet-kiss in the park, with Cecile’s assessment of their lesbian smooch: “That was cool!”
7. Most Repulsive Kiss Casino
In 2003, readers of the American magazine Film voted the love scene on a sofa between sexy prostitute/hustler Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone) and violent mob hit-man/enforcer Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci) as the ‘worst’ ever — the second ‘worst’ in the poll was the love scene between Sean Connery and 40 years-younger Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment (1999), followed by the love dalliances between Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider in Last Tango In Paris (1972)
During a sensuous scene at a hypnotically-spinning pottery wheel – molding, forming and sculpting a phallic-shaped clay object to the tune of “Unchained Melody,” Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze) kissed his lover Molly Jensen (Demi Moore) as he was seated behind her — he assisted her in reshaping a collapsed piece of pottery by putting his hands together with hers; and in the finale, recently-murdered ghost-spirit Sam bid grieving Molly goodbye before he passed on into The Light
5. Human and Computer Tron
The climactic kiss between computer program Yori (Cindy Morgan) and human “user” Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), following his resolution to jump suicidally into the energy beam of the Master Control Program (MCP) to save “video game warrior” Tron (Bruce Boxleitner). Yori’s aghast reaction to Flynn’s idea, “Don’t, you’ll be de-rezzed!”, is followed by a long, passionate kiss, as the brilliant, multicolored shaft of light emanating from the MCP glows behind them. After the kiss, Flynn meaningfully gazes into Yori’s eyes one last time, then jumps into the beam.
While alien E.T. watched the TV screen tuned to the famous love scene between John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara in John Ford’s classic film The Quiet Man (1952), the actions and movements of the two film characters matched identical movements of Elliott (Henry Thomas) and the pretty blonde girl (young Erika Eleniak) in his school’s biology classroom – when the lovers kissed in the movie, Elliott quickened his nerve and kissed the pretty girl in his class – E.T. smiled; also the tear-jerking ending scene of Gertie (Drew Barrymore) kissing E.T.’s nose goodbye before he departed in his spaceship.
3. The Kiss of Death Godfather part II
During a New Year’s Eve celebration in Cuba that ushered in 1959 in a fancy ball in the Presidential Palace, amidst cheering, embracing, and confetti, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) whispered into traitorous brother Fredo’s (John Cavale) ear as they grabbed each other: “There’s a plane waiting for us to take us to Miami in an hour, all right? Don’t make a big thing about it. (He forcefully grabbed him on both sides of the face and kissed him – Sicilian style. It was the kiss of death on his lips.) I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart”
When investigating Room 237 in the Overlook Hotel, half-crazed caretaker Jack (Jack Nicholson) pushed open the half-closed bathroom door of the mysterious, green and orange room, where he saw a young, totally-nude female figure (Lia Beldam) bathing – she rose, and slowly stepped from the tub and approached; Jack lustfully leered back at her and was sexually seduced by the apparition; when she stopped in the middle of the room, he started toward her – she seductively moved her hands up over his chest and around his neck; Jack embraced and kissed the illusory, beautiful bather – but when he looked over her shoulder at their embrace in the mirror behind her, he saw that her age had accelerated; she was metamorphisized into a demonic, necrophiliac lover – a pulsating, partially-decomposed corpse – a wrinkled, thick-skinned old hag (Billie Gibson)!
1. Man and Ape Planet of the Apes
This scene is the first to show a bond of love between animal (played by a human in costume) and human. Displaced astronaut-human George Taylor (Charlton Heston) kissed scientist-ape Zira (Kim Hunter), following this situation, as they stood next to crashing waves on a beach: Taylor: “Doctor, I’d like to kiss you goodbye.” Zira: “All right … but you’re so damned ugly!”
Bonus: Child and Adult Me and You and Everyone We Know
This highly controversial kiss (combined with the earlier teenaged sex scene) probably lead to the film earning an 18 rating despite the absence of violence and foul language. Here we see the young boy, Robby, meeting the middle-aged Art Gallery owner that he had been leading on (on the internet) with his talk of “pooping back and forth”. The gallery owner realizes that he is the “man” she has been chatting with and kisses him goodbye despite the fact that he is about 8 years old. Surprisingly the scene illicits a feeling of sympathy for the lady rather than disgust. This controversial film has won awards at Cannes, Sundance, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Newport, and Los Angeles.
Some text courtesy of Greatest Films