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Top 10 Most Bizarre Modern Jobs

Jamie Frater . . . Comments

For most people, work is obligatory for the sustenance of life. Few are privileged to enjoy a life of complete relaxation, and the lack of a need to make money. For those of us who take part in the daily toil which is the modern working life, here is a list to raise our spirits. A list of ten jobs that make even the most inane job seem a pleasure. These are jobs (with a few exceptions) you probably do not want to have. This list features in the Ultimate Book of Bizarre Lists – get it now in time for Christmas!

10

Armpit Sniffer

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When we go to the supermarket to buy deodorant, we are drawn in by all the colorful packaging and the nice scents. But, before those bottles hit the shelves, someone needs to make sure they actually do what they are meant to do – mask body odor. This job comes down to the armpit sniffers who get to sniff smelly armpits all day long to ensure that their deodorant is effective. One would presume the pay rate is pretty good, which may be the only upside to this job.

9

Chicken Sexer

Sexador

The job of the chicken sexer is to determine the sex of baby chickens when they hatch, so that they can be sent off to the appropriate location for their future life, as a battery hen or dinner for four. This job requires a gentle hand (so as to not damage the wee chicks), a good eye (to recognize whether they have a penis or not) and the ability to drift off and forget that your whole working life is going to be spent looking at chicken’s sex organs.


8

Furniture Tester

Bed Jumping La 001

Next time you buy a new bed or sofa, think of the many men and women whose job it is to sit or lie in those things for hours to test their comfort level (this is one of those exceptions I mentioned in the introduction). Unfortunately, furniture design is not just a matter of science or ergonomics – someone needs to actually make sure they function and are comfortable. This is, of course, quite a strange concept because comfort is so subjective, but I am sure those who are in this occupation don’t complain too often.

7

Snake Milker

Snake-Milker

Snake venom is used for all manner of things, but the most important is undoubtedly for its use in medical research. A lot of venom is needed every year for this research and some poor guy has to spend all day pushing snake fangs into a plastic container in order to milk them. At least he can have the satisfaction of knowing that his dangerous task may one day save a person’s life and it would be pretty cool job title to have as well.

6

Airplane Repo Man

Jemiliofloresforthenewyorktimes

I bet you have never thought about what happens when someone forgets to make payments on their private jet. Well – the finance company sends in the airplane repo man! He has to have an excellent flying record because when he finds your plane, he has to fly it to its destination (undoubtedly an auction house for repossessed planes). This can be a dangerous job (imagine repossessing a plane from the mob) so, sometimes, plane repo men need to bring heavies with them.

5

Sports Mascot

14Mascot.600

Sports mascots are not just fans running around in furry costumes. They are actually paid employees of the various sports team they represent. To be a mascot you need to be athletic and fit and you definitely should not apply if you are shy. Some mascots are so popular they are more famous than the players!


4

Body Part Model

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Modeling is not just for the beautiful – if you have good hands or attractive feet, there may be a job in modeling for you. In fact, depending on the product needing a model, sometimes you need to have ugly hands or other parts of your body (don’t forget that someone needs to be photographed for the “before” photos). Body models can make a lot of money, so don’t discount it as an option if you lose your job.

3

Ball Diving

Golf-Ball-Divers

Have you ever wondered what happens to all the golf balls that go into the water on golf courses? Now you know: golf ball divers go in occasionally to retrieve them. It is a highly paid job and it can be extremely dangerous (at least two people have died on the job). The best part of the job is that when you are done you can put on your plus-fours and play a round of golf.


2

Barnyard Masturbator

Worst-Jobs-In-The-World-Being-A-Cow-Barnyard-Masturbator

The job of the barnyard masturbator is to masturbate farmyard animals for artificial insemination. They usually have two options at hand. The first is to use a rectal electrifier which sends small shots of electricity up the bottom of the animal to stimulate it from behind. The other options is to do it the old fashioned way – with their hands. Either way – I think the less said about this job the better.

1

Vomit Collector

08-Vomit-Collector-Jobs-You-Didn-T-Know-Existed

At Listverse we always leave the best till last! As we all know from experience, traveling on sideshow attractions can make us a little queasy. More often than not at least one person on the more exciting rides will have a little spew. Unfortunately, this produces quite a lot of vomit every day, and some very unlucky people get the job of cleaning it up. Next time you hate your job think of the poor vomit collector working at your local fair ground.

If you liked this list you will probably also like the Top 10 Ancient Jobs that Sucked Big Time.

Jamie Frater

Jamie is the owner and chief-editor of Listverse. He spends his time working on the site, doing research for new lists, and collecting oddities. He is fascinated with all things historic, creepy, and bizarre.

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  • timothyjames

    I don't know about "Bizzare," but these are certainly uncommon jobs. I just watched an episode of "American Dad" in which Steve became a chicken sexer and wondered if it was a real job. This list is edu-tainment at work. Good one, Jamie.

    • jack h

      #2 was my nickname in high school

  • Dev

    Actually, I wouldn't mind bieng a furnature tester. Sleeping on the job would be great!

    • Friant

      Ah, but your forgetting the dangers of bedsores and the occasional limb falling asleep, this job is more dangerous than you give it credit. :)

      • andrew

        aww ya you got it, you know your stuff

  • fraterhater

    I was all geared up to say stuff like 'chicken sexer' thats commonplace and 'snake milking is important' and so on but reading further down to barnyard masturbater I just cracked up and surcummed to the sillyness. Good list.

  • Matt

    Great list, but honestly… #2 = TMI.

  • Alice

    The heading for number 9 was misleading

    • Mickey:)

      Lol seriously I read chicken sexer and I was like oh god, until I read the paragraph and was like ooohhh.

  • Kio

    I wouldn't say all of these jobs are necesarily bizarre.

    • Tron

      I agree, I was reading and wondering how is being a mascot a bizarre job.

      • oliveralbq

        —there are people whose job it is to fuck with people:
        ——-stand up comics (sort-of) — clowns — joaquin phoenix — writers for south park, family guy — salesmen — non-alcoholic beer makers.

        —there are people whose job it is to dress up as silly things
        ——-employees at disneyland — mimes — elvis impersonators — those dudes on the side of the road with a sandwich board reading "eat at joe's".

        —mascots will dress up as things like elephants (univ. of alabama) — chickens (san diego sports) — weird alien things (phidelphia phillies) — bees (new orleand hornets) — trees (stanford) — food (the freeport pretzels)
        *and then* fuck with people.

        if i was a little kid, and a dude in a tree costume started fucking with me, i would definitly either call it bizarre, or develop tree-phobia.

        or both………

    • rbooker

      I think they just like the word "bizarre" on this site. It's also used in the book title.

      • ..,,l,,..

        How Bizzare!

  • Woods

    From the picture in number 8, furniture testing looks like a fun job :D

  • k1w1taxi

    Golf Ball Diver has to be better than being the guy that gets to retrieve the balls at the driving range. Job Description: Target :)

    Cheers
    Lee

  • Jessica

    I'm puzzled at the illustration showing a FEMALE cow after, ahem, depositing a load. Biologically impossible, methinks. Aside from that amusing detail, great list!

    • lalabhaiya

      Maybe the cow was gargling.

    • astraya

      It could be milk on his t-shirt!

    • Technically all cows are female.
      But I think it's just supposed to be a joke. Don't look too much into a comic.

  • Jordan

    The lady in the armpit picture looks TOO happy, ugh!

  • oculus18

    What about a porn movie house janitor? Though they get to watch the movie free, it's gotta be challenging cleaning up after movie hours.

  • Kio

    Well because bizarre is another word for odd, you know like weird jobs. I agree it'll suck to be a vomit collector, but it's not bizarre. Or even a hand model for example. Just my opinion :)

    • bluesman87

      yeah think about all the nasty stuff hospital cleaners have to deal with , or even old age home cleaners for that matter .

      • TEX

        Don't forget grade school janitors – that's all I saw them do – clean up little kids puke – even as a kid I thought "worst job ever."

        • oliveralbq

          yep —
          —-i had one teacher in elementary school, who enjoyed when kids puked in the class.
          well, maybe not enjoyed, but took the situation, and spun it his way as soon as the janitor was finished, and had gone.

          it seems kinda douchebaggish now, but if any of us screwed up within the next 2 or 3 days, we'd hear the same thing:
          not only should you stay in school, but pay attention while you're here, unless your dream is to carry around a bucket and clean up vomit for the rest of your life.

          mr. cwalina had the highest collective percentage of students move on to the a.p. (advanced placement) classes the next year, that i can remember

  • Sean

    What about people that have to taste food for animals so it can ne "new and improved"

    • TEX

      Thats what talking donkeys are for.

  • rain

    I LOL'd on this list. Damn weird people and their weird jobs.

  • lalabhaiya

    Well well well. I'll definitely crib less about my job now. Well, my job in not bad, but believe me, sitting in front of the computer day in and out doing the same work can be very inane. For a change, I wouldn't mind fishing for golf balls, testing furniture (and read too!) or to be the repo man (unless it is the mob i have to collect the plane from. in that case, i'll call in sick.) for short duration of time but then they'll get inane and mundane too.

    My pity to the guy who has to shag the animals. Thats bad. Very bad.

    Wife: 'Honey, How was your day?'
    Man: 'Ah! It was very productive. I shagged 17 horses today.'

    Imagine if someone overheard this conversation. And people determining the sex of small chicken? What if someone is peering very close and they pee? I bet something like this must have happened. I am sympathetic, but at the end of the day, more often than not, a job is a job which one does to pay the bill.

    And it always sucks.

    • Ninja_Wallaby

      I don't think shag means what you think it means.

  • Loraine

    Being a body part model is not bizarre! I was a hand model 3 years ago. I did nail ads for some magazines. It wasn't anything I ever thougt I'd do but it certainly wasn't bizarre either.

    • Skata

      Did you meet George Costanza? Stay away from irons.

  • Will

    Wow I feel bad for the kids of Barnyard Masturbators.
    Teacher: "what does your dad do?"
    Kid: "oh he's a barnyard masturbator"
    *awkward silence*

  • Virgil

    Weak list, sorry.

  • honestwater

    Anyone else look at their hands(thinking they could be a hand model) while reading number 4?

    • bluesman87

      i was thinking the exact same thing , except with my balls….

      • cg26

        LOL

  • Your_Mother

    Stay in school kids

  • bansey

    Now I don't think my job of hook baiting is all that bad.

  • numbmusique

    BARNYARD MASTURBATOR? BARNYARD MASTURBATOR? You just killed my innocence.

    Also, great list.

  • MadMonkey572

    Uh…. I hate to break it to you, but chickens don't have penises.

    • bluesman87

      they dont?!! they what the hell was that in my chow mien!

      • TEX

        doggy

  • Skata

    Don't laugh! Barnyard Masturbater is big bucks and very important, like if you're beating off a Triple Crown winner or a prize bull. Say you live in Australia and Bruce wants to replicate his favorite Ram, or you're in Outer Krapistan and Abdul wants to send his favorite goat to Cousin Habib in Kentucky.

    You gotta go to college and stuff to pull all that off.

    • Vera Lynn

      "Pull all that off." Haha! Too funny. ;-)

  • Will Trame

    The picture that accompanied the furniture tester position reminded me of the old Samsonite luggage commercial from the early ’70s that showed a gorilla throwing a suitcase around its cage in a serious fit of pique. The fairground vomit collector gives strong credence as to why roller coasters are colloquially known as “vomit comets”.

  • Meerkatsandy

    I wonder if mike rowe would be up for some armpit sniffing:)

  • Andyman

    My wife's coworker's brother is a golf ball retriever down in Florida. Very good money but the biggest danger is ALLIGATORS!

  • Le Tel

    Good list, How a top 10 most dangerous jobs list…

  • Who wants to milk my snake, hum?

    Had to make that joke. It was begging me to do it… XD

  • oouchan

    I know the vomit one would make me vomit. These people need to have some strong stomachs! I would say that these jobs are 'odd' instead of bizarre.
    I do know that there is a guy in the town my sister lives in that goes around and plows over chicken poop. That's his job. Once a month. ewww! The whole town smells for hours after.

    Pretty funny list.

  • ajokeinabottle

    Where's terrorist?

  • bluesman87

    not very fresh ,heard of all of these . The should get young teenage boys to do the cow jacking off , they're practically pros already .

  • Jin

    Back to a good list, at last. :D

  • vanowensbody

    Great list.

  • mordechaimordechai

    i once saw on the telly a chicken sexer at work and the speed she acquired doing is job was amazing.
    the birds were just sliding on a treadmill and the girl simply by a glance could tell the sex and split the flow of chicks on two different slides. lightning fast

  • Julius

    Are there really people that earn their living as a barnyard masturbator? I always thought that a farmhand or the farmer himself would simply do that, but I guess once the ranch get's big enough you need someone to jack your cows off for you…Same goes for chicken sexer and vomit cleaner.
    The father of my sisters boyfriend works as a diver at a sewage treatment plant. Now THAT is a gross job :-D but the pay is good…
    My aunt works an acupressurist for race- and polohorses, also a very odd job…
    Anyway, excellent list as usual jamie.

  • nimur90

    At number 1 that guy's all like 'fuck yeah, I'm a vomit collector'

  • minni

    Your description of the 'barnyard masturbator' isn't quite right. Electro-ejaculation is used but banned in some countries but they don't do it by hand! They train an animal to use an artificial vagina, using a female to get him excited and directing him into the artificial vagina instead of the real one. Also, why do bulls always have udders in cartoons??

  • The only problem with humans is they serve money, instead of money serving them. (you might be one of them.)

    • bluesman87

      praat kak all of us serve money. anyone who isnt rich .

    • mom424

      I agree – too many folks think that the accumulation of wealth is some sort of noble undertaking. And that it justifies all manner of poor behavior. All I have to do is look a little south to see the consequences of this attitude.

  • ArjayM

    Haha! I enjoyed reading this lists. Thumbs up!

  • betterthantheoriginalwally

    Ball-diving is a highly paid job? Perhaps some numbers may alleviate my scepticism.

  • shygirl

    I'm pretty sure that the company I work for employs a few "armpit sniffers". We test all sorts of personal care products, deodorant included… So gross.

  • psychosurfer

    You forgot to mention Fluffers

    • TEX

      good one

  • Shtickle

    Best list in a while! The sad thing is, you probably need a Masters Degree for every one of these jobs.

  • ian

    On main streets in Jakarta, Indonesia, you can see another bizarre job… As a 3in1 jockey.

    Few years ago, government of metropolitan Jakarta declared some main streets in Jakarta as 3in1 area, which means on peak hours (06.30-10.00am and 04.30-07.00pm on workday) every car on the area should have 3 passengers (incl driver). They hoped that this new rule will reduce number of private car used in Jakarta, and people will forced to use mass transportation instead. Many people decided to using mass transportation instead, while other car owner decided to share their vehicle with friends to entering 3in1 area to reach their office, but some other just unlucky to have no friend to accompany them to met 3in1 rule.

    Problem of other people is goldmine for the others. Poor and unemployed people looking at this situation as an opportunity and decided to be a “jockey” – accompany car owner entering 3in1 area to met government rule! On every peak hours “jockeys” will standing on streetside close to 3in1 area, raise their hand to offering their service to car owner who drives alone. Driver will pick 2″jockeys” on roadside and let them sit in car, then drive car until reach his office located in 3in1 area, while the “jockeys” just sit quietly in the backseat until reach the office. So, how much they earned for 1 trip in somebody’s car? They only earn Rp 5.000 (50 cent!) for one trip. Average 3in1 jockey usually makes Rp 15.000-20.000 (USD 1,5 – USD 2) a day for this ridiculous job. If you think that you’ve been underpaid by your office, just think about this once again…

    • Ha, that's a fun story, thanks.

    • psychosurfer

      That´s great, closest thing in my city is guys who stand about 200 meters before police breathalyzer test posts, and offer to drive you through for about $5.00 USD

  • mom424

    More eww and now I need to know. Thanks for that.

  • undaunted warrior 1

    Now the bulls testicles are a wee bit lighter, and you have a couple of liters of this stuff with tadpoles like things swimming around looking for eggs to fertilize – now you have to be fast here – you have to get a handful of this sperm into the cow A.S.A.P.
    Best method – apply vasiline from fist to elbow and go for it – you push down bit by bit, I have heard from some sources that these guys performing these jobs get a stirring in the loins as the cow contracts and stimulates his arm.

    Nice list Thanks James.

  • freckledsmile99

    OMG – Jamie, you rock. I love this list. But how the heck did the Ball Divers die? And the barnyard masturbator – what kind of person chooses to do it the old fashioned way? Ugh!

    • Krista

      Gators usually….and getting stuck in the muck of the lake then drowning when you run outta air

      • freckledsmile99

        Eww, really?!? Wow. Thanks for answering.

  • Maggot

    I have it on good authority from the Guild of Professional Barnyard Masturbators that qualified practitioners typically refer to themselves as either “Livestock Reproduction Specialists” or “Bio-genetic Material Extraction Technicians”. Sadly, it is the unlicensed and freelance masturbators that are giving the profession a bad name. Personally, I am just a hobbyist.

  • Ffiffisop

    How about food photographers? That's pretty odd!

  • Furniture tester ain't that bad! I thought number 2 was the most bizzare and worst… Awesome list!

  • aree2

    On the chick sexer – sadly in a lot of cases the male chicks are culled at the end of the conveyor belt. Sometimes using pretty horrific machines either to mince them or bag them up to suffocate them to death.
    Knowing that's at the end of the line makes that job even worse…

    • Becci

      Yeah, I’m surprised that they got this one wrong. Egg-laying chickens are bred to lay lots of eggs, not to be meaty, so the males aren’t useful and are killed right away. The meat chickens that people eat can be either male or female, and since they are slaughtered at 45 days old there’s no issue in raising them in the same building.

  • kah

    this list is stolen from somewhere else, ive read it before

  • bansey

    It was a joke.

  • I don't mind being an armpit sniffer. I smell (not sniff) poop every single day at the hospital so armpits can't be worse than that. :P

    • General Tits Von Chodehoffen

      Ya not something you should be so eager to share with people

  • General Tits Von Chodehoffen

    Wow shitty

  • Oxycinna

    If I were forced to pick one of these ten jobs. Without a doubt I would pick Sports Mascot. Who doesn't love to be a big furry creature/mascot, dance around, and be made fun of all day? As long as people didn't know I was the Mascot I would be fine.

  • Beast Of Gevaudan

    10, 2 and 1 get the award for most disgusting in my opinion but number 4's not a bad way to make money.

  • joetravolta

    a good quick list to read just before i go to work. nice one jamie

  • Lifeschool

    Hi, very good list, if not excellent! Very well written, concise and witty. Well worth the read.

  • N.N.NoCrap

    TALES OF A HOLLYWOOD ARMPIT SNIFFER,By J.Frater….on sale @ a bookshop near u

  • Jenny

    The "barnyard masturbator" doesn't actually exist as an occupation. There is however a something known as a theriogenologist, which is generally considered to be a specialty of veterinary medicine (like oncology or cardiology) and the process of collecting and evaluating semen to be a small portion of the skills and responsibilities he has.

    • lefreak12

      I beg to differ. Bull semen is serious business and someone's got to get in there and collect that money!

  • maxisthebest666

    what abaut manure colector

  • geisterfahrer

    It has been said before so I don't know why you didn't correct your text about the chicken sexing. It doesn't happen the way you described it. First, male chickens don't have penises. Second, the male chicks are killed immediately because they are not "useful" for being raised. Chicken sexing is a part of the egg industry and they only need the female ones. There are 2 types of chicken breeds, ones that produce ridiculous amounts of eggs and others that gain weight ridiculously fast (1-2 months until slaughter) and the "egg breed" chickens are not suitable for being raised like "meat breed" chickens because they don't gain weight fast enough to be profitable (chicken meat is extremely cheap, profit spans for a single animal are very low even with the meat breeds) – they are useless "waste". Please correct your text, in reality the animal industry wastes way more ressources than your text implies.

  • clleuoq9

    Name

  • ????

    This can be a dangerous job (imagine repossessing a plane from the mob) so, sometimes, plane repo men need to bring heavies with them.

    If the heavies were very heavy, the plane would never get off the ground, would it? Shouldn’t they bring “lights” instead of heavies? Or maybe “light-heavies?” Some guy that’s been a heavy but went on a diet, maybe?

    And how do you repossess a glider?