10 Strangest Clauses People Have Included in Contracts

Ever stumbled upon a contract that made you do a double take? We’ve all heard of the usual clauses like payment terms and delivery schedules, but what about the downright bizarre stuff? Get ready to dive into the world of the ten strangest clauses people have included in contracts. From the wacky to the downright jaw-dropping, these agreements will have you questioning just how creative (or downright odd) people can get when putting pen to paper.

Related: Top 10 Weirdest Demands in Last Wills

10 Van Halen’s M&M’s Clause

Ah, the infamous M&M’s clause—a stroke of contractual genius or just a rockstar tantrum? Picture Van Halen, the quintessential ’80s rock gods, rolling into town for a concert. But amid the leather jackets and electric guitars, a seemingly absurd demand is tucked away in their contract: a bowl of M&M’s, but leave out the browns, please!

At first glance, it sounds like diva behavior, right? But hold on to your drumsticks because there’s more to it than meets the eye. This seemingly frivolous request was actually a clever litmus test. Van Halen wasn’t really concerned about their candy preferences. They were concerned about safety. You see, buried within the legalese of their contract was a slew of technical requirements for their elaborate stage setup. Missing even one tiny detail could spell disaster—literally.

The M&M’s clause wasn’t just a sweet tooth whim. It was a ploy to ensure that the venue had meticulously reviewed every line of their contract. If they found brown M&M’s lurking amid the colorful candy, it signaled that the venue might have skimped on the crucial technical specs. In other words, it was a clever test of professionalism wrapped in a candy-coated shell.

9Pet Custody Arrangements

Divorce—a time when love dwindles, assets split, and custody battles ignite. But wait, what about Fluffy, the four-legged darling caught in the crossfire? Pet custody arrangements have become the latest chapter in the saga of marriage partings, proving that love knows no bounds, not even species.

In the wild world of divorce contracts, where every detail is dissected, Fluffy’s fate finds itself in ink, not just paw prints. Picture spouses wrangling over who gets custody of the poodle or who foots the bill for Mr. Whiskers’ gourmet tuna. It’s enough to make even Judge Judy raise an eyebrow.

Believe it or not, these clauses aren’t just whimsical quirks. They’re legally binding agreements. People have fought tooth and nail (and claw) for custody of their beloved pets. Unfortunately, shared custody is not a thing in the world of pet agreements.

Next time you draft a divorce decree, don’t forget to pencil in Fido’s endgame. After all, in love and litigation, pets are often the silent casualties—unless they have their own legal representation.

8 Haunted House Disclaimer

Browsing through real estate contracts, you stumble on a clause about ghosts haunting the property you’re eyeing. Yes, you heard it right—some sellers actually include clauses disclosing whether they believe their house comes with some spectral roommates.

Now, you might wonder why on earth anyone would add such an eerie clause. Well, it turns out that in the wild world of real estate, honesty sometimes comes in ghostly forms. Some sellers, whether out of genuine belief or just a touch of mischievousness, feel compelled to disclose if their abode has a few extra long-term residents.

These clauses might sound like they belong in a Halloween special, but they’ve appeared in real-life contracts more often than you’d think. From disclosing sightings of apparitions to detailing the peculiar creaks and moans echoing through the halls at midnight, these disclaimers add a supernatural twist to the already labyrinthine world of real estate transactions.

But hey, if you’re in the market for a haunted house, at least you’ll know what you’re getting into, right? Just remember to bring along some Ghostbusters and maybe a trusty Ouija board. Who knows, you might end up with a ghoulishly good deal—or a hauntingly unforgettable experience. Happy house hunting, brave souls!

7 Zombie Apocalypse Clause

In the realm of bizarre contract clauses, the zombie apocalypse clause stands out like a lone survivor in a… well, post-apocalyptic world. Nestled between the standard legal jargon, someone has taken the time to address the undead elephant in the room. This clause, often dismissed as a product of overactive imaginations, is a testament to the unpredictable nature of legal minds.

As it turns out, a few forward-thinking individuals have actually incorporated clauses into contracts, outlining procedures in the event of a zombie uprising. While it may sound like a page ripped from a sci-fi script, some contracts include provisions for delayed deadlines and force majeure—a provision that frees both parties from obligation if an extraordinary event directly prevents one or both parties from performing—in the face of a flesh-eating menace. It’s both a nod to our collective fascination with the supernatural and a practical acknowledgment that amid chaos, business must go on.

But let’s be real (unlike the brain-eating zombies!). The likelihood of a zombie apocalypse is as slim as a vampire in daylight. These clauses are more about injecting humor into the typically dry world of legal documents. So, the next time you’re drafting a contract, remember: It never hurts to add a touch of the undead to keep things lively.

6 Grooming Policies

Ever heard of the saying, “Hair today, gone tomorrow”? Well, some companies took it a tad too seriously, like The Walt Disney Company, which once had a reputation for its strict grooming policies. It wasn’t just about donning those Mickey Mouse ears with a smile. It was about your hair being as polished as Cinderella’s glass slipper.

Disney’s grooming guidelines weren’t just about keeping your hair neat and tidy. They were practically a hair manifesto. No outlandish colors, no wild styles—just your classic, conservative hairdo. After all, when you’re selling dreams and magic, you can’t have your employees looking like they just stepped out of a punk rock concert!

Imagine being told, “Sorry, Jack, your spiky Mohawk is a no-go for the Happiest Place on Earth.” It’s like being handed a script for your hair, with Mickey Mouse as the director. But hey, Disney isn’t alone in the hair game. Several airlines have also been known to enforce strict grooming policies, ensuring that flight attendants’ hair is as impeccable as their in-flight service.

While a grooming clause might sound like something out of a whimsical tale, for companies like Disney and certain airlines, it’s just another day in the world of corporate grooming standards.

5 “For the Love of the Game” Clause

Alright, picture this: You’re Michael Jordan, the basketball legend himself, dominating the court, making dunks look like child’s play, and collecting championship rings like they’re candy. Who wouldn’t want a legal clause that lets you play basketball whenever, wherever, just for the sheer love of the game?

Back in the day, when Nike wanted to keep their golden goose happy, they threw in this gem of a clause. It basically said that Jordan could play basketball whenever he wanted, whether it was a pickup game at the local YMCA or a charity event across the globe.

But when you’re arguably the greatest basketball player to ever grace the court, you set the rules. It’s not every day you come across a clause that’s essentially a free pass to play basketball whenever the mood strikes. And honestly, if anyone deserves a “For the Love of the Game” clause, it’s the legendary His Airness himself.

4 “Throughout the Universe and in Perpetuity” Clause

Ever wondered what happens when legal jargon takes a detour into the cosmos? Enter the “Throughout the Universe and in Perpetuity” clause, a quirky addition to contracts that transcend the boundaries of Earthly affairs.

This mind-bending clause has been known to pop up in contracts ranging from selling real estate to intellectual property rights, leaving many scratching their heads and possibly contemplating interstellar lawsuits. The language may sound like it was crafted by a sci-fi enthusiast turned attorney, but its intention is grounded in securing rights and responsibilities indefinitely, with an astronomical twist.

Imagine you innocently sign a contract, and suddenly, your obligations extend beyond borders, reaching into the infinite expanse of the universe. While it may sound like a cosmic joke, some contracts indeed bind parties to obligations that theoretically span the entire cosmos.

This clause often raises eyebrows and sparks debates about the practicality of enforcing agreements light-years away. The cosmic contractual question remains: Can we truly extend legal dominion across the universe, or is this clause merely a whimsical nod to our ever-expanding imaginations? Whatever the case, it’s a reminder that in the vast reaches of legality, even the stars might bear witness to the fine print.

3 Infidelity Clauses in Prenups

Ah, the sweet melody of love, underscored by the fine print of a prenuptial agreement. In quirky contract clauses, none raises eyebrows quite like the infidelity clause. Picture lovebirds pledging eternal commitment while simultaneously penning down the terms of potential betrayal.

Infidelity clauses are like the legal lovechild of Cupid and Sherlock Holmes. These clauses often stipulate financial penalties or asset distribution changes if one partner decides to detour down the road of romantic mischief. It’s the kind of contractual fine print that makes you wonder if lawyers moonlight as relationship therapists.

While some argue that such clauses are a testament to the fragility of modern relationships, others see them as a practical approach to safeguarding emotional investments. In fact, celebrities like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel reportedly have such clauses in their prenups, turning their marriage into a high-stakes game of fidelity poker.

Whether it’s a clever insurance policy or a cynical view of romance, infidelity clauses bring a touch of drama to the otherwise solemn world of prenuptial agreements. Because nothing says “I love you forever” like a legal document contemplating the possibility of “what if.”

2 Racial Covenants

Back in the day, particularly during the early to mid-20th century, racial covenants were all the rage in real estate contracts. These little clauses were essentially like bouncers at an exclusive club, but instead of checking IDs, they were gatekeeping neighborhoods based on race. Racial covenants were legal mechanisms designed to enforce segregation, ensuring that only the “right” kind of people moved in.

But here’s the kicker: While these clauses might seem like ancient history, their echoes linger in the present. Even though they’ve been deemed unenforceable by courts, their existence serves as a reminder of the systemic injustices woven into our societal fabric.

Watch for these historical relics next time you’re perusing through a contract. Who knew real estate could be such a colorful journey through time?

1 Apple’s End User License Agreements

Buried within the labyrinth of legalese in Apple’s End User License Agreements (EULAs), there’s a provision that politely reminds you not to turn your iTunes into a missile factory.

In the EULA agreement, nestled snugly between paragraphs of terms and conditions, lies the gem of a clause: “You agree that you will not use the product (iTunes) to create missiles and biological, chemical, or nuclear weapons.” It’s like a gentle tap on the shoulder from Apple, reminding you to keep your playlist in check and leave the weaponization to the movies.

Now, before you start envisioning a covert operation involving iPods and intercontinental ballistic missiles, let’s pause for a reality check. While it might seem absurd, this clause isn’t just a whimsical addition. It reflects Apple’s commitment to responsible use of its products and compliance with international regulations regarding weapons of mass destruction.

And the next time you’re jamming out to your favorite tunes on iTunes, just remember: while music has the power to move hearts, it probably shouldn’t be used to move missiles.