In our tradition of providing something for everyone, we have a list of religious candies. I must confess that I was quite surprised to find such a large selection out there – but I guess the demand must be high. I am presuming that the majority of these comes from the USA, but if not, someone may be able to shed some light in the comments. This is our last list before the site turns one tomorrow!
1
Candies 1 – 5
1: Cross Candy
2: Jesus Canes
3: Promise Seeds
4: Cross Bracelets
5: He Lives Pops
2
Candies 6 – 10
6: God is love Chocolate
7: Cross Pops
8: Walking with Jesus Jandals
9: Noah’s Nuggets (worst name ever?)
10: Bible Character Jellybeans
3
Candies 11 – 15
11: Scripture Candy
12: Sweet Truth Candy
13: Bible Gum
14: Testiments
15: Bible Bar (containing the 7 foods of deuteronomy!)
hey wow that’s cool, to do this with all christian candy, had you done it with any other religion you would have gotten ripped apart becase everyone would have said you were discriminating.
Testamints? Meh, I personally prefer Amen-tos.
Those Asian guys have it all figured out. Take their surplus or substandard candies/wares, print some pseudo Christian message/name on them and ship them to the USA.
Maybe there aren’t many of examples of this kind of stuff for other religions because it is tacky and disrespectful? I dunno, but jelly bellies in the name of Christ is just a bit much. Ju Jubes for Jehovah anyone?
I do know that this kind of cashing in on Religion has been going on since there was Religion. Relics 4-sale, Cheap.
Great list, but where’s the Blood of Christ-Aid(TM)? Just add (holy) water!
I guess there will be no Islamic pork pops
Ew, Bible bars sound nasty, what the heck, how do you incorporate olive oil and barley into candy?!
how do you incorporate olive oil and barley into candy?!
Well, it’s not a candy per se, but a nutrition bar. Just think ‘biblical granlola.’ BTW, have you ever looked at all the strange oils in health bars?
Meh, I’m not to into ingredients, but I guess they could use it in bars for whatever purpose. It just makes it sound like.. sort of like a take 5, with all the different prominent flavors, olive oil being one of them.
“Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s Cross Pops… get your own today!”
Wow. I’m speechless.
I can’t work out if that’s sacreligious or commercialism at it lowest point.
It takes alot to creep out an athiest….but you succeeded.
Oh, and Happy 1st Birthday Listverse. Congrats Jamie.
All this is living proof that if they gave out candy-flavored hosts instead of plain ones for the Holy Communion, more people would go to church.
I wouldn’t mind a mouthful of Noah Nuggets right about now.
*Noah’s
I prefer my candy with little ingravings of devils and rotten corpses.
if all candies are like these then no dentist would be christians…
Let me guess… All this crap is from the good ole US of A?…
It’s funny how they’ll condemn you for insulting their religion yet feel free to suck on the cross that Jesus died on!…
the Testamints are a joint buisness venture with Tom Waits and one of his family members. I saw him selling the idea on David Letterman.And I think he sang “chocolate jesus” on the same show.
for true.
but Cat Stevens had an album with a chocolate (golden alluminum wrapped) Buddha.
some plausible ideas:
“baby jesus gummies” somewhere I’m sure, but I hope not.
maybe not so religious but, how-bout the “black licorice leviathan” I hereby copyright this one.
maybe “Loki Licorice” is more fitting albeit outplace outatime.
what am I doing? I’m not religious.
Bible Bars are a good idea imo! Good selling point!
p.s.
I know how Micheal Jackson can make back his monies. or could have any how.
just wondering if the spelling error (whereby the jesus-centric testamints becomes the now sacrilegious testi-mints) was deliberate? because its funny as hell.
S_R has not yet weighed in on this? I’m surprised.
At Hanukkah, you can get chocolate foil-wrapped candy called gelt. They look like gold coins.
And the lord said, “Thou shalt eat my candies, or I shall strike thee down upon the with candy crosses, for you will know I am the lord!!!”
I had heard of the Bible Bar, but the others are new to me. It figures, since Christian stuff has been so commercialized. I feel a little silly thinking there may have been candies from other religions with the title: “Top 15 Strange Religious Candies”. Might have substituted “Christian” for “Religious”.
haha, where do you come up with these crazy lists?
They’re all blasphemous:)
However, I wouldn’t mind buying the jelly beans just to have those amazingly awesome bible figures
Where can I go to get these? Fun Party favors
This is probably the dumbest list on this website.
Why are they all Christian candies? There are plenty of other religions out there.
Mike Find them and tell us. Make your own list. I’d like to read that one, too.
Noah’s Nuggets are sandy, salty, and a little hairy.
So this is the counter to the ‘Devil’s Candy’ list – ‘Top 10 Most Disgusting Candies Ever.’
“Jesus wants your breath to be minty fresh.
You can save your soul while freshening your breath with our yummy new Testamints. Each of the approximately 145 mints, in three devilishly delicious flavors, is imprinted with a cross and comes wrapped in a quotable bible verse to freshen your spirit. So, take up the sword of virtue against your unholy halitosis. This is one time when it’s good to yield to temptation.
Testamints
item M5646
$11.95 ea.”
Slightly less disappointing than other mints.
Go Tom Waits’ cousin (any man whose cousin throws confetti on himself is my hero).
Could anyone who often posts to listverse please contact me at Nerikasne@hotmail.com? I am coming up with a little birthday present for Jamie/the site. Sorry for the repetition; I’m posting this on all active lists.
Happy Birthday LISTVERSE!!!
Thank you very much JAMIE for providing me (us) such a beautiful site, more power man! heres to listverse (opens a Chteau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion 1996)
Hi all. On the subject of businesses not thinking things all the way through (Noah’s Nuggets, hehe). We have a christian bookstore in South Africa called CUM Books. The acronym CUM actually stands for the afrikaans (1 the 15 South African official languages) ‘CHRISTELIKE UITGEWERS MAATSKAPPY’ which translated to english is ‘Christian Publishers Company’. It is supposed to be pronounced ‘Koom’, but I alsways forget that which has led to a few embarrassing situations at church socials.
its not so much the cross shaped suckers or bribing kids with candy to get them to read scripture, but the puns. the horrible puns. i wonder if trivializing this stuff makes it easier on peoples conscience when they brainwash their kids
ringtailroxy, why do you assume kids are stupid? Were you stupid as a kid? (Are you now?) Are your kids stupid? Were you able to figure out how to have any?
Kids know the difference between fun make-believe traditions and universal truth. Sorry you can’t tell the difference.
Who is Jesus Jandals and why would I want to walk with him? (and for those who only see #8 after it’s corrected to Walking with Jesus Sandals, or to those who may think I’m blasphemous, it used to say Walking with Jesus Jandals, I am just surprised sp “error” made it to triple digit comment area). Always cool lists though!
funnyman -
scroll up thru comments and you’ll find the reference to Urban Dictionary’s definition of jandals.
Thanks Cyn…
How I missed that I’ll never know. I should have known it would have been corrected by the time I spied it if it were truly incorrect…. =)
I like how people are freaking out over jandals. I havent heard that term since backpacking NZ. In NZ and Oz, what we call sandals, they call jandals. It wasnt a spelling error.
funnyman -
generally i at least scan lists to make sure they’re alright. okay, so sometimes things get past even me. *insert rollz eyes smilie*
so i had to Google ‘jandals’ cuz i thought it was a typo too! see..even i learn stuff at LV.
I think the cross-shaped suckers are my favorite. Talk about a phallic symbol.
Worthy addition to the list are surely ‘Last Supper After-Dinner Mints’!
Packet of 13, one may contain traces of arsenic…
~96. Bob ~
“ringtailroxy, why do you assume kids are stupid?”
no. but children believe wholeheartedly what their parents tell them up to a certain age… and young children will mimic their parents behavior and mannerisms.
“Were you stupid as a kid?”
no. I taught myself how to read by the age of 4, and had been in advanced placement classes since 2nd grade. (I also figured out Santa could not exist by the time I was 6) But as a child, I believed what my parents told me as truth.
“(Are you now?)”
NO. I carry a 3.87 GPA and was invited to join the honors society at the college I just tranfered from. I also run a non-profit orginization.
“Are your kids stupid?”
No. I don’t have any children-by choice. I am responsible enough, as a citizen of this planet, to recognise the Earth is having a hard enough time supporting the 6.6 BILLION human inhabitants that are already here.
“Were you able to figure out how to have any?”
I have figured out how to prevent myself from having any children until I am completely emotionally, finacially, and ethically mature enough to do so.
“Kids know the difference between fun make-believe traditions and universal truth. Sorry you can’t tell the difference.”
Actually, children DO NOT know the difference when they are very young. Watch any unenlightened child cry when they learn Santa isn’t real.
And exactly what is “universal truth”?
Truth is simply a concept that an individual accepts as being concrete and indisputable. There is no such thing as universal truth. It is completely subjective.
ringtailroxy
Ringtailroxy Good work. Keep it up. We need outstanding, responsible, educated people all over the world. Cool.
Could “Pop-rocks” be considered religious candy? You know; ’cause they explode and all.
Bah…
Imagine my mother’s delight at seeing a gooey cross hanging out of her grandson’s mouth. Oh, you don’t know her. Sorry. But you may know people who would berate a stranger for wearing a toe ring with a tiny cross on it, and that’s her.
I guess “Crucifix on a Stick” would be considered a redundant brand name, but I can already hear the jingle.
Used to sell the Testamints, but now the only place you can get them is on line. http://www.testamints.net/order.
Sorry on the above link. I just tried it and the period at the end of the line has also been saved as part of the link. If you want to order them try this:
http://www.testamints.net/order
So this candies must be what Ned Flanders gives to his children hehe
christianity trying to make a buck? i’m so NOT surprised.
oke these are some weird candy’s
Testi-mints!!!!! LOL
lol
mayb ppl think the candy brings their kids closer to god
i mean uve heard of a mother say my child is possesed when they r bad [u know]
mayb they bye them this thinkign the demons will cum out hahaha
ajde peace
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16. Christians are saved by grace, not by works. Eating certain candy, even if it is tacky, will not send us to eternal death/Hell. God Bless You.
Nutrition God’s way? /head-desk.
The Christian bookstore where I work has actually sold some of these. I honestly don’t know whether I find it hilarious or sad. Probably a bit of both. I remember eating sour candies that said O taste and see that the Lord is good. I’m thankful those candies were not my only exposure to the Lord is all I have to say.
Religious candy… Perhaps an interesting way of reaching the children to learn about what religious facts and information the candy stands for.
This reeks of American Commercialism.