When most of us think of vikings, we see horn-helmeted violent blond men raping and pillaging everything in sight. But, in fact, many of these images are misconceived – as you are about to find out. The Vikings lived from the late eighth to the early eleventh century and their relatively short history had had a massive impact on western society.
Misconception: The Vikings were a nation
The Vikings were not one nation but different groups of warriors, explorers and merchants led by a chieftain. During the Viking age, Scandinavia was not separated into Denmark, Norway and Sweden as it is today, instead each chieftain ruled over a small area. The word Viking does not refer to any location, but is the Old Norse word for a person participating in an expedition to sea.
Misconception: The Vikings were all dirty, wild-looking people
In many movies and cartoons, the Vikings are shown as dirty, wild-looking, savage men and women, but in reality, the Vikings were quite vain about their appearance. In fact, combs, tweezers, razors and “ear spoons” are among some of the most frequent artifacts from Viking Age excavations. These same excavations have also shown that the Vikings made soap.
In England, the Vikings living there even had a reputation for excessive cleanliness because of their custom of bathing once a week (on Saturday). To this day, Saturday is referred to as laugardagur / laurdag / lørdag / lördag, or “washing day” in the Scandinavian languages, though the original meaning is lost in modern speech in most cases. However, “laug” does still mean “bath” or “pool” in Icelandic.
Misconception: The Vikings were all big and blond
The Vikings are often shown as big, bulging guys with long blond hair, but historical records show that the average Viking man was about 170 cm (5’7”) tall which was not especially tall for the time. Blond hair was seen as ideal in the Viking culture, and many Nordic men bleached their hair with a special soap. But the Vikings were great at absorbing people, and many people who had been kidnapped as slaves, became part of the Viking population in time. So, in Viking groups, you would probably find Italians, Spaniards, Portuguese, French, and Russians — a very diverse group built around a core of Vikings from a particular region, say, southern Denmark or an Oslo fjord.
Misconception: The Vikings drank from skull cups
The origin of this legend is Ole Worm’s “Reuner seu Danica literatura antiquissima” from 1636 in which he writes that Danish warriors drank from the “curved branches of skulls” – ie, horns (pictured above), which was probably mistranslated in Latin to mean human “skulls”. The fact is, however, no skull cups have ever been found in excavations from the Viking Age.
Misconception: The Vikings used crude, unsophisticated weapons
Vikings are often shown with crude, unsophisticated weapons such as clubs and crude axes, but the Vikings were actually skilled weapon smiths. Using a method called pattern welding, the Vikings could make swords that were both extremely sharp and flexible. According to Viking Sagas, one method of testing these weapons was to place the sword hilt first in a cold stream, and float a hair down to it. If it cut the hair, it was considered a good sword.
Misconception: The Vikings lived only in Scandinavia
The Vikings did originate from the Scandinavian countries, but over time they started settlements in many places, reaching as far as North Africa, Russia, Constantinople, and even North America. There are different theories about the motives driving the Viking expansion, the most common of which is that the Scandinavian population had outgrown the agricultural potential of their homeland. Another theory is that the old trade routes of western Europe and Eurasia experienced a decline in profitability when the Roman Empire fell in the 5th century, forcing the Vikings to open new trading routes in order to profit from international trade. Pictured above is a viking village in Canada.
Misconception: The Vikings were hated everywhere
One could imagine that the Vikings were hated everywhere because of their raids, but it seems that they were also respected by some. The French King Charles the III – known as Charles the Simple – gave the Vikings the land they had already settled on in France (Normandy), and he even gave his daughter to the Viking chief Rollo. In return, the Vikings protected France against wilder Vikings.
Also in Constantinople the Vikings were acknowledged for their strength – so much so that the Varangian guard of the Byzantine emperors in the 11th century was made up entirely of Swedish Vikings.
Misconception: The Vikings were unusually bloodthirsty and barbarian
The Viking raids were indeed very violent, but it was a violent age, and the question is whether non-viking armies were any less bloodthirsty and barbarian; for instance, Charlemagne, who was the Vikings’ contemporary, virtually exterminated the whole people of Avars. At Verden, he ordered the beheading of 4,500 Saxons. What really made the Vikings different was the fact that they seemed to take special care to destroy items of religious value (Christian monasteries and holy sites) and kill churchmen, which earned them quite a bit of hatred in a highly religious time. The Vikings probably enjoyed the reputation they had; people were so scared of them that they often fled from their cities instead of defending them when they saw a Viking ship coming near.
Misconception: The Vikings pillaged as their only way of living
It was actually only a very small percentage of the Vikings that were warriors; the majority was farmers, craftsmen and traders. For the Vikings who took to the sea, pillaging were one among many other goals of their expeditions. The Vikings settled peacefully in many places such as Iceland and Greenland, and were international merchants of their time; they peacefully traded with almost every county of the then-known world.
Misconception: The Vikings wore helmets with horns
This most be the biggest misconception about Vikings, but the fact remains, there are no records of such helmets having ever existed. All depictions of Viking helmets dating to the Viking age, show helmets with no horns and the only authentic Viking helmet that has ever been found does not have them either. An explanation for the helmet with horns myth is that Christians in contemporary Europe added the detail to make the Vikings look even more barbarian and pagan, with horns like Satan’s on their head. It should be noted that the Norse god Thor wore a helmet with wings on it, which do look somewhat similar to horns.
























April 22nd, 2009 at 1:58 am
cool list
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:00 am
nice list signe , who can forget Hager the horrible
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 am
nice list!
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:04 am
Awesome list!! I’ll admit to believing about half of these. I’m a little let down that the Vikings didn’t wear horns on their helmets though. That was their coolest feature! I’m simply going to “forget” number 1 was on this list
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:06 am
I work in a Viking (and medieval) heritage centre so I already knew these. Another theory I heard about the horned helmets was that an Iron Age burial which had a horned helmet was mistaken as being Viking. The myth is so well-perpetuated that we even sell plastic ones in the gift shop. Shocking.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:07 am
Now is probably a good time to remind people to read the commenting FAQ. It says this:
It is very annoying to everyone who reads the list and comments – and especially so to me who has to go through one by one deleting them. So far I have deleted six from this list which is utterly ridiculous.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:18 am
As a Scandinavian myself(Swedish) I can say these misconceptions exist largely in Scandinavia too.
Swedish and Norwegian patriots use the Viking ideal on describing how a swedish/norwegian person should be, tall, big with that meaning huge muscles, blonde, big beard, aggressive, travelling the sea plundering villages and stealing women and sail around with huge horns on their helmets…. OK maybe not the last part, but still it’s sad that Vikings are used in propaganda against a multicultural society when the Vikings themselves were as also described in this list, many different part of groups many of them being mixed with people from Russia, Spain, Italy and Turkey. Just To mention a few.
Intelligence seems to have skipped on a lot of people.
A very nice list hopefully shedding some light on the subject of Vikings to those who still believes the Vikings in comic books are exactly as those that were in real life.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:33 am
AHAHA VIKINGS
I USED TO LOVE THEM
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:36 am
If the vikings were given Normandy (if they converted to Christianity and became vassals of the french king) its because they had raided Paris.
Another reason for the viking expansion is that the arabo-muslims controlled the Mediterranean sea at the time and refused European trade through it (except for Venice which had a special status). Hence the European trading routes to go the the middle east could only be the Russian rivers, and the vikings had the only boats easy enough to handle and practical which could navigate these rivers. So they kind of had the monopoly there.
The fact that the vikings traded through the northern parts of Europe is one of the main reasons why the northern half of Europe became rich and stayed that way ever since (previously, only the south was urbanized thanks to roman dominance there).
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:01 am
The Vaering guard at Konstantinople were not entirely Swedish. I think that mostly they were Norwegian. And I know there were Icelandic Vikings there too. -Some artifacts were brought to Iceland.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:02 am
It seems a lil’ conceided how they incorporated the word “kings” in their name!! Someone should have given them a reality check at the time!! Oh… wait a minute I guess someone did, thats why they were left with those iced countries that nobody whats to go to!!
Just kiddin I love Swedish…. girls!!! And I can garantee that they are “barbarian” in certain activities!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:09 am
@ jfrater : thanks for the trust vote!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:13 am
“In England, the Vikings living there even had a reputation for excessive cleanliness because of their custom of bathing ONCE A WEEK (on Saturday).”
i wonder, how often do the english bathe:p
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:26 am
Travis: you are welcome
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:41 am
The real warriors are the ancient polynesians (samoans, maories and etc.), they are naturally built and strong. They even have their own war dance, the infamous haka. The Vikings would be totally raped if face by these guys.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:14 am
#4 – needs a bit of correction regarding the Varangian Guard. It wasn’t ‘entirely’ Swedish – more Pan-Norse from all over the Viking world (it’s most famous recruit was Harald Hardrada – eventual King of Norway). In fact, there was a huge influx of Englishmen after 1066.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:23 am
There was a tv comedy sketch which showed one Viking boat landing, a group jumping out and marching off shouting “Burn, burn, burn!”. A second boat lands, a second group jumps out and marches off shouting “Pillage, pillage, pillage!”. A third boat lands, and third group stumbles out and barely musters any enthusiasm as they trudge off muttering “Oh God, rape again!”.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:46 am
Great list today. So great, in fact, it managed to motivate me to post a comment saying so.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:51 am
thats strange cuz my dads a viking and he’s your stereotypical one!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:54 am
@ #15 funix- “they are naturally built” As opposed to UNnaturally built?
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:05 am
apparently all you need to do to get your own list on Listverse is to be able to find wikipedia and cut/paste….
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 am
Very informative list! I don’t think I had 10 conceptions about Vikings let alone 10 misconceptions.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 am
Very cool.
I knew most of these things, but as a Canadian of Scandinavian descent it’s always interesting to see. Thanks for sharing.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:47 am
I heard they like spam. They sure sing about it a lot.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:47 am
So… I should not view the movie, “Viking Women on the Moon” as being strictly factual is what you’re telling me?
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:57 am
24. RobS. : Probably… Although I did hear that “Valkyries Gone Wild” is rather accurate, maybe you could start there
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:59 am
Aack! Stupid LV… Log me out… This logging in thing annoys me
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 am
I like this list as I love vikings! Very interested in them but I only knew about half this list. Informative.
I also heard that above all, they were very superstitious.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:06 am
Once I was white water rafting down a river with my friend’s family. There were two rafts, and we were in the second one that didn’t have a guide. Coming to a fork in the river, the guide signaled ffor us to go to the right becuase it was safer. My friend’s cousin told everyone to go to the left instead, and then stood up at the front of the raft screaming “WE’RE VIKINGS GODDAMN IT!”…we’re banned from ever going on that river again.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:07 am
6. jfrater:
but it was fonny LOL
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:24 am
I must have come to the wrong website today.
There is no debate about Viking culture superiority, no one claiming Vikings suck, no debate points being peppered with subtle hostile tones towards America and Americans, and no one has brought up a side debate about the evil use by the Vikings of the atgeir.
Is it possible, my friends, that the Vikings can be a unifying force for this website and the world?
Or maybe its just opposite day!
Great list Signe, very informative and fun to read.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:34 am
Very informative list; I learned a lot. I have to say, I believed most of those. I was really surprised to find out how multicultural the Vikings were! Don’t the names of the days of the week come from the Vikings? I think I remember that from playing Where in Time is Carmen San Diego when I was a kid.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:36 am
My viking knowledge is limited to a diorama I did in fifth grade. It was in a shoe box. They had horned helmets and blonde hair, but I still got an A.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:38 am
This list is too Scandinavian
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:40 am
I thought the Vikings Helmets were purple with the white horn graphic on the side.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:43 am
you forgot one. “Viking” is a verb that means to go out exploring, it is not the name of a people.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:50 am
Excellent list, well timed too as i’ve been looking up Vikings on the internet these past few days.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:54 am
Its funny the way things are spun through History, I knew almost all of these (because vikings are fun to study) but otherwise great list. My sophomore english teacher in high school got the class all hyped by buying one of those horned helmets from a costume store to talk about the Epic of king Hrolf Kraki. she was really fun, and really hot
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:00 am
I remember our high school History teacher telling us that Columbus had discovered the America’s. I later learn that the Vikings had settled in North America 500 years before!!! In fact, I learnt this from a Heritage commercial. lol
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:01 am
Dread pirate bob has a point. Vikings as a noun refers only to those who went raiding, so saying not all vikings pillaged is inaccurate. What you are really getting at is that not all early medieval Scandinavians were Vikings.
Good list overall. I wish more people knew this stuff, especially #1.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 am
I have a game called Morton’s List, the self proclaimed “End to Boredom”. In the book, it discusses several supernatural things, and among them is a Viking curse. After reading about that, I got into Norse mythology, and subsequently, Viking culture. Excellent list, Signe.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
@ SoCalJeff Vikings suck go COWBOYS!
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:23 am
I wish I were a Viking; or a pirate; or a viking pirate. A vikrate or a piraking, I’ll go with piraking.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:49 am
great list! i love vikings
i won’t be arguing about #4, but i remember reading on the national geographic magazine that king charles III of france gave them land because he feared them and not loved them
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:50 am
Interesting! Certainly curved my ball about Vikings. I love Vikings… they were peaceful merchants and awesome warriors a like! Plus not to mention expansionists.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:51 am
nice list!
the vikings are just awesome… well, I like anything with swords so… yeah….
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:53 am
Pirates could kick Vikings asses any time any place
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:56 am
Boy, were the Vikings caricatured in Asterix & Obleisk books or what!! Remember the one in whick the Vikins come to Gaul to learn the mening of fear?
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 am
more like top 10 misconceptions bout metals
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 am
Well TEX….that puts me in a deliema. I think pirates win over ninjas, but vikings would win against pirates. They’re just bigger.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:03 am
Great list, a number of years ago I read a historical fiction book called “Byzantium” in which Vikings played a big part. The narrator-being a holy man-initially saw them as uncouth barbarians but eventually he came to embrace them. I really should hunt down that book again a give it another read.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:10 am
I figured that Thor’s helmet was winged only in the Marvel Comic Book…
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:18 am
50. oouchan
Try to follow:
Samurai could kick Vikings asses any time any place
Pirates could kick Samurai asses any time any place
Therefore – Pirates could kick Vikings asses any time any place
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:25 am
@ TEX. : Can pirates kick vikings asses after samurai’s have kicked their asses?
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:26 am
My aunt was a viking, but she was kicked out because she smelled like pickles. Pickles was my hamster, and everyone knows that the vikings’ greatest fear was hamsters.
Vikings’ favorite food is peanut butter. In fact, Jimmy Carter kept a small roving band of vikings on his peanut farm to crush the nuts into butter. When the Iranians took the hostages, Jimmy Carter went to his vikings and asked them to crush the Ayatollah, and the vikings said, “Screw that, mate; we don’t know how to fly no damn helicopters. Besides, we don’t eat Iranians.” So Jimmy Carter had to send Delta Force instead (which didn’t work out so well either – he should have just bussed the vikings in).
That would make a great movie though, right? “Bloody Vikings from Valhalla invade Tehran…”
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:54 am
55. KJ
nice copy from wikipedia – now try something original
(lol)
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 am
interesting list, never knew half the stuff on it. but i’ll still be reading asterix comics which r very misleading as 2 how the vikings actually were
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 am
There’s a nice little fictional Viking trilogy by an author called Tim Severin. It’s not the most sophisticated writing, but it does take you on a whistle stop tour of all the corners of the Viking world from Vinland to the Varangian Guard. It also builds in some of the Sagas into the narrative as well as historical accounts such as Ibn Fadlan’s account of a Viking funeral (including a human sacrifice). It’s an easy way to catch up on a lot of what this list covers and more besides.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:09 am
# 40. robneiderman said:
“Vikings as a noun refers only to those who went raiding, so saying not all vikings pillaged is inaccurate.”
Actually, most of the time, the vikings kept to trading when they travelled around, but the somewhat less frequent raiding is often emphasized at the expense of the fact that they really were quite skilled businessfolk. The word “viking” (as a noun) was commonly associated with both activities (in scandinavian languages it would also have been used as a verb – “å dra i viking”).
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 am
That’s from wikipedia? I’d love to see that link. Here I was thinking I was being original (just looking to see if anybody was really paying attention to what anyone else was posting) and I find that I am a plagiarist. Damn…
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 am
…ear spoons!?
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:35 am
you guys seem a little preoccupied with other people’s asses.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:40 am
PHOTOSHOPPED. NEED I SAY MORE? Lol, jk, still great article.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
Tex (53) I’m afraid that logic doesn’t work in my head.
If you use the same logic:
Rock beats Scissors
Scissors beats Paper
Therefore Rock beats paper? But it doesn’t…
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:54 am
#64 Halfcrown, oh yes, a rock will go right through paper! lol
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:04 am
actually some vikings did wear helmets with horns, but they were not war helmets, their war helmets were rather simplistic, to be comfortable and not to get caought with anything. their horned helmets more like horned caps were a sort of ceremonial thing, not an everyday clothing item, and not many were made.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:04 am
Very welcome list, Signe. Well done and well put together.
Interesting over all. I’ll be delving into Vikingdom quite soon as a result of this list, so thank you ahead of time for increasing my knowledge of history and historical anthropology.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 am
So,are you trying to tell me that Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas were not really Vikings? And that Kirk Douglas didn’t jump into a pit of wild dogs with his sword so he could die a Vikings death? Boy,you people sure know how to disallusion a guy.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 am
Vikings are a fascinating bit of history, I enjoy reading about them. Scandinavian and Norse mythology is fantastic and the accounts of warrior-fearlessness in the face of death makes for some amazing stories about the varied cultures. The different mythologies with Odin and Ragnarok and Loki and all the variant cultures that contributed and were influenced by them always interested me.
We here are taught the vikings discovered North America as well, long before Columbus. In eastern Canada there are still artifacts and ancient markers predating Columbus as proof.
It’s *obviously* just a movie, but whenever I want to get riled up about being a descendant of the vikings, I absoltuely LOVE the 13th Warrior… so much fun! (Not real of course)
Also, comparing warriors of different cultures is silly. They exist in totally different environments. Samoans? Just appreciate things for what they are, it doesn’t need to be a competition. Samoans would get sick from the cold and vikings would get sick from the heat… what’s the point?
‘Lo there do I see my father… lo there do I see my mother and my brothers and my sisters… lo there do I see the line of my people… ‘ heh.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 am
64. Halfcrown
yeah but – rock, scissors, and paper don’t have asses to kick now do they?
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
This most be the biggest misconception about Vikings
must?
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:14 am
Hey all! Everybodies having a fun time today I see – intelligent responses, not at all dull. Very funny oouchan. I used to watch a cartoon show called Viki the Viking – my memories are probably better than the actual show if I had to watch it again today. Love the theme song ‘hey hey viki, hey viki hey!’
Oright, thoughts? Yes, I think these peoples did get a bad rep – which they played on as mentioned in the list. There were a few notorious families who were bent on destruction, but the majority were shrewd.
The very best book about norse mythology and their gods has to be – for me – ‘The Pathwalker’s Guide to the Nine Worlds, by Raven Kaldera’. Lulu has it for download at just £3.50.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
I am always the vikings when I play Age of Empires II.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
oh, the Nine Worlds is actually online at:
http://www.northernshamanism.org/nine/index.html
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Actually, there were horned helmets, but only for prestige and rituals, not for combat.
And they attacked monasteries and churches, because there was usually lots of treasures to be had, not because they hated Christians
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
War helmets with big horns and such are pretty useless when you think about it – rather than a sword or axe blow glancing off the helmet, it catches a horn and pulls your helmet off?
Pretty silly. Though I could see how the horns in # 7 coupled with the helmets could have fuelled that misconception.
And for the record – after years at sea, those pansy pirates would be so captivated by the buff, blond, medieval male model Vikings that they’d still be standing there drooling as their heads were lopped off. Just saying. Course the pirates would have been out of luck anyways, everyone knows Vikings don’t go for dudes with wooden legs and eyepatches. Such a turnoff.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Lifeschool: I remember that cartoon….Have you seen one that’s called Dave the Barbarian? That one is hilarious!
I have to admit that I liked Eric the Viking. It was a bad movie but I liked it anyway.
Bert: Which is why the vikings would win against pirates!
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Viking or not, horned helmets are awesome.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I disagree with number 8:
There was this contest “World Strongest Man” in ESPN, as long as I recall it was always won by Scandinavian fellows (Samuelson, Virtanen, etc.), all of them blond and huge, so either people are well fed in those countries or there´s really a genetic component for size and strength in them.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
vikings blows!
what makes them all scary were their untrimmed beards.
my ancestors would totally ripped them apart!
maori toa!! yeah!!!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
77. oouchan – Precisely
79. psychosurfer – Good call on the WSM reference! It’s still going on actually, that along with Lumberjack contests are my two favourite tough guy sports. Simply awesome. To be fair though, there have been a few winners from the US, Poland and I believe even Lithuania, but the vast majority are Scandinavian. Including the only four-time winners, Jon Pall Sigmarsson and Magnus Ver Magnusson, both from Iceland.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Myth #11: Vikings will win the superbowl.
Reality: Forever next year’s champions.
….Ooops. Wrong Vikings.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
This one is Olaf and this one is Olaf and this one is Olaf. This on is…Olaf and this one is Olaf and this one is…uh…*snap snap* “Olaf.” Olaf!
So you must be?
That’s right! Gordan!
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
76. Bert 77. oouchan
Both seafaring by nature correct?
Pirate ships vs. those stupid little boats with the Chihuahua head thing in the front and that little fairy striped square sail
Need I say more – you are had, defeated
Thank you
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
New game!
Pirates vs Vikings (ninjas didn’t stand a chance!)
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Unless of course Chuck Norris was on the Viking boat – that would change things!
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Pirates: Wore makeup and jewelry.
Didn’t have to cum ashore when they had their
mates with them.
Not many known descendants.
“Jolly Roger”?
Vikings: win
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Kirk Douglas/Johnny Depp?
Vikings: win
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
24. bucslim: Lovely spam, wonderful spam.
@jfrater: Thanks for taking the initiative to finally delete those stupid “first” comments. They really take away from the conversation. Now, if we could only do something about trolls…
Great list, Signe. I enjoyed it and learned a thing or two. Definately thought Vikings had horned helmets. Ah, those crafty Christians…
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Pirates did not wear make up, Jack Sparrow wore make-up but he was not a pirate, he was from Scandinavia and had a degenerative mental disorder. That is why they let him hang around. So let’s not pick on the disabled now shall we?
Mr.T wore jewelry, are you implying he could not kick major Viking ass?
Kirk Douglas was a gladiator, not a Viking – where did you get this information, wikipedia?
Pirates never ran out of rum.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
TEX – I pity the fool who doesn’t know T would have BEEN a Viking back in the day. Then he would write a haiku about how awesome he and his Viking buddies are.
Speaking of which, I think the next list should be 10 Reasons Why Mr. T Kicks Ass.
Also, I think you mean: Pirates never ran out of BUM. Think about it – always running around, looking for more booty. Don’t tell me you don’t know what that REALLY means.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
nice list by the way zombies munch on samurai and vikings and pirates so who gives?
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
wow i make no sense. i need to take a nap
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Bert…great play on words. I am laughing so hard my co-workers keep asking me what’s up. I told them it’s an inside joke. They wouldn’t get this.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
In the first place booty meant treasure back in those days. It did not take on the backside definition you and mshake insist on using until KC & The Sunshine Band released “That’s the Way (I Like It)” in 1974.
So if you just have to make these low brow references about the sexual habits of seafaring men, lets limit it to Somali pirates and members of the U-boat Wolfpacks – where 80 men went down and 40 couples came back up.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
i know one thing about vikings…they always choke come playoff time
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I love the part about the English thinking the Vikings to be overly clean by bathing themselves once per week… What was the standard bathing routine of the English at that time?
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
tale of the tape…
Ship Design:
Pirates – built for speed
Vikings – built for merchandise
winner? Draw
Occupation:
Pirates – thieving
Vikings – selling
winner? Pirates
Weapons:
Pirates: swords, pistols, cannons (on ship)
Vikings: swords, axes, crossbows, cannons(?)
winner? if vikings had cannons, draw. if not, Pirates
Entertainment:
Pirates: POTC I, II, III; Cutthroat Island; Pirates of Penzance; Treasure Island
Vikings: 13th Warrior; Hagar the Horrible; Conan the Barbarian(?)
winner? Pirates
Sports:
Pirates: 5 World Series Titles; 9 addl WS appearances
Vikings: 4 Super Bowl appearances (all losses)
winner? Pirates
The clear winner – Pirates
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
oops – correction under Sports:
Pirates: 5 WS titles, 4 addl appearances
Pirates still winner
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
.. tish! You guys! Why not take this debate to the forums? – where you will clearly find Werewolves will beat all the above.
oouchan: God, I knew someone would bring up that Eric the Viking movie. Did you know they released a ‘Directors Sons’ cut of the film – its only about 50mins long!
re: WSM – yes, the scandanavians are still built of strong stuff, and deserve to win those titles. My hat goes off to the training they have to put themselves through. BTW, Britains Jeff Capes won it 3 times too; though that was ages ago.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
76. Bert- I have to disagree with this: “And for the record – after years at sea, those pansy pirates would be so captivated by the buff, blond, medieval male model Vikings that they’d still be standing there drooling as their heads were lopped off.”
That wouldn’t happen because then Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom would beat the Vikings in a captivating-hotness competition any day. Also, pirates would win based on the fact they had cannons and guns. The vikings, ninjas, and samurai wouldn’t be able to get near them. However, I am not sure about the zombies- can guns stop them?
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
additional measures:
Deities:
Pirates: Davy Jones
Vikings: Odin, Thor, Valkyries, Frigga, Loki, etc.
winner? Vikings
addl Entertainment note:
Vikings: Beowulf
winner? still Pirates
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:14 pm
wow this board is geek central!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Excellent list, cannot fault it, couple of additional piesces of information, one Viking, buried in splendor was found in Gotland.
Vikings were also adaptable, Bare Legs started wearing a kilt in the end, and this set up a bit of a fashion trend.
Where I am originaly from the Isle of Lewis in the Outter Hedridies of Scotland, we speak Gaelic, however I believe that with only one exception all the names of villages are of Norse origion.
It is seriously interesting history, especialy when you discover it was a two way process, the Islanders caused hell on Earth in Scandanavia for a while and did the Viking on the Vikings.
G
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Missed out what I was going to saw, the Viking found in Gotland was of Mongolian origion. Now lets see a list about these fellows please.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
This list, as well as the comments board, are a prefect example of why I love this site. Thanks to all.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:38 pm
The vikings in the U.S are famous.
Famous for losing superbowls. F the vikings , the cowboys are what`s up.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
@ #83:
SPONGEBOB!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Nice string of cool lists on the site recently. This one is exceptionally metal and awesome!
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Wait… is there seriously anyone, anywhere, that thinks pirates are macho or intimidating in any way? RL pirates were generally disease infested, undereducated (captains being the exception) suffering from nutritional deficiency (and teeth, and hygiene, and literacy) and only able to actually capture ships by outnumbering their enemies or surprising them. 999 times out of 1000 two equal ships of Portuguese Naval (or any other competent Navy) against pirates of any background would result in the pirates being soundly destroyed… their only chance was to sneak up on undefended ships and hope to overpower the crew, who even in non-military ships had a fair chance of fighting them off. The military ships, 9 times out of 10, outmatched pirate vessels in skill, training, competence and ability.
Pirates were basically just the gang bangers of the seas; you guys watch too many movies. They were only intimidating in numbers and when sneaking up on someone from behind. But my grandpa could intimidate someone by sneaking up behind them too. Pirates are cool for people who want an excuse to wear frilly shirts. They are the Twilight vampires of the military history world.
‘AAAARRRRRR’ Shiver my silk ruffles and flowing frills!’
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:11 pm
110 Think the Vikings were more than pirates, buisnessmen, explorers amongst other things, utter headbangers at times. They were also the naval force of their day. Their ships were made of split rather than sawn timber, so a fair bit of technical savy was involved.
Did a bit more than the old rape and pillage stuff as well. Russia was settled by these people, the Russ from Sweden, and I believe Kieve was one of their main trading centers.
Hard men for a hard time but on the ball. I also read with interest the comments about Mouri and Polynesians, again a hard capable seafairing crew, massivly built and powerful but I would give the nod to the Viking, come from cold lands, more stamina, higher tecnology and more driven to attain goals. Again pure need, not much grows in Scandanavia apart from pine trees, South seas, stick a twig in the ground wait a few months and you have food.
Also speed and insane agression, seems to be a Northern European thing historicaly more so than other cultures.
Examples The Celts, Germanics and of course our good friends from Scandanavia.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Thank you for all the great comments, they were both funny and educational. It is great that this topic can have 111 positive comments, no trolls, no off topic fighting about WWII, America vs. Britian, religion or all the other things the comments usually end up being about. Thanks guys.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Enough with the pirates vs vikings and football jokes already!
Here´s another viking tidbit; they didn´t send their dead out to sea in burning boats but buried them under rocks, boats and all…
Nice list, and another thing about the blonde myth…. Erik the Red was a ginger.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:13 am
Beautifully crafted helmet you show there. I confess to owning a plastic one with horns. It’s part of my Halloween costume
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:30 am
I changed my mind. I want to be a werezompirakinginja. I think that covers all the bases? Also, taller. I wish I were taller.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:22 am
copperdragon – you are an analytical genius!
Signe – you are a class act, and I do apologize for digressing from the topic
Very nice list
And as signe pointed out quite graciously, kudos to everyone for keeping it clean and fun, and to J.F. for working to maintain it that way
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 am
TEX – I finally have to agree with you. It’s nice to see a little bit of light-heartedness for a change without any heated arguments or anything.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:42 am
could Shakespeare’s Hamlet be considered a Viking story?
He was a Danish Prince after all
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:19 am
Of course, the word “viking” itself is not the correct word to be used. It should be “norsemen”, people of the “North”. The word “viking” stems from the “expedition” itself, essentially meaning “to go on a viking”, and was sometimes used as a verb “to vik / to explore”. Most of the stereotypes about the “norsemen” stem from 19th century romanticism, as well as documents written by the folks who were attacked by the norsemen. These accounts always refer to the norsemen as unkempt, because travelling by boats for such a long period of time would render the most clean and groomed to appear quite “wild” and “dirty”. It would literally take months to travel from Scandinavia to lower Europe when you travel in the small boats that the norsemen actually used. Great article nonetheless!
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:00 am
Great list; very interesting! One typo- Misconception: The Vikings wore helmets with horns
This most be the biggest misconception about Vikings…
Should say This must be…..
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am
RandomPrecision (29):
That was hilarious…
*****
TEX. (95):
“…Somali pirates and members of the U-boat Wolfpacks – where 80 men went down and 40 couples came back up…”
You people are on a roll today! My stomach muscles are cramping from laughing silently in my cubicle…
*****
copperdragon (98):
“Occupation:
Pirates – thieving
Vikings – selling
winner? Pirates”
What? No mention of the burning, pillaging and raping? Heck, the vikings take that category for sure!!
*****
cass (113):
“Here´s another viking tidbit; they didn´t send their dead out to sea in burning boats but buried them under rocks, boats and all…”
NO! That was my favorite little tidbit of (fake?) Viking lore! That and the horned helmets! Now what´s left?!?
*****
signe:
Fabulous list by the way… I really had not heard of most of these! I cant say I´ve ever been that interested in Vikings but I think I might start reading up on them!
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
That was a really interesting list. I did not know any of these things. That’s the thing I like best about this website: when something interesting comes up in a list that I don’t know much about. I like learning new things.
Good job!
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Very nice list! I never knew all these stuff about Vikings.
There should be a list about Africa soon, and the African cultures like the Nubians,Yoruba,Igbo, and Hausa
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Make one Klingon.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
I absolutely love this list, even if I had known of all of it already. #8 though had me a little confused however, I just recently watched a show that said that the vikings averaged about 5′10″ in height. It was a brand new show, so I wonder which is actually correct.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Though it might not be true that they send their dead in burning boats, it is true that nordic mytholgy’s god’s did it. Don’t know if he has an english spoken name, but i DK he’s name was Balder, brother to Thor and son to Odin. He god shot with an arrow by his other brother, and it was all Loki’s fault. Bad, bad Loki, But Balder was send of on a burning boat with (among other things) he’s sword and Odin’s ring.
Just wanted to give my own little inf on the subjekt:-)
Have a nice weekend all of you.
-By the way… Vikings could beat pirates!!!!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Great list. My favorite one this week.
“The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!” – Zep
April 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
excellent list. Upon genealogy of my own name, even with several thousand year old european tidbits written for reasons unknown,(why the attention and furthermore, with mistakes written?). vikings with diversity is more than an epiphany.A group that travelled successfully.smart, and skilled. And you may as well have added: columbus did not discover america….
April 24th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
When my younger daughter was in middle school, she had a friend named Venus…not too Viking related, but Venus’ two brothers were named Thor and Odin.
You have to sort of wonder what their parents were thinking.
April 24th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
129. segue: I had 2 girls that I knew in high school that had similar parents. One family liked jewels and the other liked flowers. The were names like: Rose, Petal and Thorn (that was the boy). The other was Ruby and Emerald. They were twins. I went to school with Ruby and Petal. The twins couldn’t go to the same school as they fought too much. It does make you wonder.
Although, I would like to have a boy and call him Thor. That would be neat.
I would like to know how the legend of the Viking Funeral came about. The one where they shot flaming arrows at the boat as it was traveling down the river/waterway. I think that would be the way to go.
April 24th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
oouchan, the Viking funeral sounds a lot grander than it probably is; have you ever smelt flesh burning?
Two name stories: In kindergarten my boyfriend was named Peter Ramsbottom (poor guy).
All through school, from first grade through high school, I was friends with a girl who was from a family of 5 girls and 2 boys. All of the girls were named Mary-something.
April 24th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
131. segue: “the Viking funeral sounds a lot grander than it probably is; have you ever smelt flesh burning?”
Thankfully, no. Although if you are on the riverbank upwind….
Mary-something…..I feel sorry for the boys. But, I got that beat. One of my mom’s best friends from her old hometown was name Faye…no one picked on him for it because he was 6′4″ and weighed about 300 pounds. Very scary man with a cute name.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:28 am
hoo boy..! hagar the horrible made vikings a lot more fun to remember
April 25th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
The picture on #8,
is it just me or does the main viking guy’s weapon look like it’s cut off?
It looks like it should have been an axe, but now it looks like a baton
April 26th, 2009 at 3:15 am
They did actually burn some of their leaders on boats, but they also buried some, complete with with the ship, dogs horses, bed… there is one famous kinggrave in denmark, but i forgot its name
April 26th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
number 7 is a fake, its logical that they haven’t found the skulls cups, its a great oject that i never forget to take if i will go to life in another place.
April 27th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
the greatest warriors are those who effectively use the best technology, tactics and strategy, as all people in a physical sense have the similar strength, intelligence etc. the use of better tools and teamwork is the main differentiating factor. rem: the Japanese easily defeated many other peoples (bigger and smaller) in early WW2. they were in turn defeated by Americans with better planes,boats and bombs, and better organisation.
April 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Combs, bleached blond hair…what a bunch of wusses!
April 28th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I was at a Viking-age settlement on Friday, quite a significant site actually in determining the history of Wales and the Vikings which is a bit sketchy. They found coins and other things which suggest there was trade with Vikings and they might even have moved in for a bit, possibly forcibly. They discovered 5 bodies buried near the 9 foot thick perimeter wall, one of whom had his hands bound behind his back.
There’s some evidence from certain place names that the Vikings had trading posts along the Welsh coast although it’s thought they didn’t invade as such. That said, an academic visiting from Denmark who came with us to the settlement at Llanbedrgoch is working on a theory that there was a Scandinavian earldom in Wales.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I always thought it was hilarious that I went to a christian school with a viking as our mascot.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
cool list! a lil disappointing that they didn’t have horns on their helms, though…
April 29th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
actually they did wear horned helmets, it was for religious acts
April 30th, 2009 at 4:08 am
Thank you so much for this list. We vikings have always had a bad rap and are glad that someone finally set the the record straight.
April 30th, 2009 at 4:28 am
I’m a blonde viking and I just got done raping so maybe you want to check your facts before you compile such a list. God!
April 30th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
vikings were indeed dirty
to bath once a week in above dirtiness
May 1st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
That is a very interesting tid-bit of information. I enjoyed reading!
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Everybody already knows that their helmets weren’t horned. Not much of a misconception anymore.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Very fun list! I found it on google images while looking for viking pictures as a graphic in a leadership presentation.
BTW – Signe?
My daughters name is Signe, My Grandmothers name is Signe, My cousins name is Signe.
Have you lived in Seattle?
May 19th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
148. Mark_Q: No I haver never lived in Seattle… but I’m happy to hear that the name Signe is so popular (at least in your family). It’s rare that you hear about someone outside Scandinavia with this name, is your grandmother form Scandinavia?
June 3rd, 2009 at 8:51 am
I was expecting mention that the society was not nearly so patriarchical as one would have the impression. Women were naturally integral to the society but also had more influence over the men than the women of neighboring lands in the day.
June 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
It’s good that you set a couple of things straight. I knew pretty all but #9… but I’m Swedish so I guess that’s cheating a little
I don’t claim to know the meaning of ancient names, but I think it means ‘blessed’.
I chuckled a bit at the last one… “It should be noted that the Norse god Thor wore a helmet with wings on it, which do look somewhat similar to horns.”
It would seem to me that if horned helmets are a myth, the headgear of gods from myths could also have inaccurately described.
It came across as you saying “horned helmets are a myth perpetuated in many history books, perhaps it’s mistaken for the headgear described in the saga of the norse gods”
June 8th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Bah, errors in my post. Scratch the word “pretty”, and it’s the name ‘Signe’ that I think means ‘blessed’.
June 11th, 2009 at 9:48 am
#15
war dances are some pretty gay shit
and vikings would destroy them the Polynesians fought with some shitty wood and rocks also no armor … vikings had actual armor and metal weapons
Oh and they wanted to die cause it was an honor so dont say the Polynesians had more will to fight or some shit
June 17th, 2009 at 3:40 am
Lol, a lot of funny opinions here. I\’m a norwegian living in Trondheim (Heimdal a part of the city is named after the norse god). I did know pretty much all the info on this list ,besides the one about Vikings in South Africa.
Here in Norway we laugh of all the tourists bying all our crap about both vikings and trolls. But of course it\’s a big industry and the stories ar exiting and cute.
We are proud of our ancesters, but I do think most people here love the stories from the old sagas and the norse people more than the vikings.
My fun reading this list was to read the comments!
June 19th, 2009 at 3:41 am
As a Norwegian with a long interest in historical pirates, the notion of comparing Vikings with pirates is entirely pointless and ridiculous.
The Vikings were to some extent the pirates of their own age. And even if we are to assume that by “Pirates” we refer to pirates operation in the Caribbean in the 17th century, we would still mostly be dealing with people with Northern European ancestry, almost entirely genetically identical to the Vikings. While the pirate captains were typically English, Dutch or French, they would frequently employ Scandinavian sailors, according to “Under the Black Flag” by Don C. Seitz.
According to an article I read ten years ago, the Dutch in the 17th century employed a large number of Norwegian-born sailors, and in the Dutch mercantile fleet one out of every three sailors were supposed to be Norwegian.
To conclude, comparing Vikings with Pirates is pointless, since Vikings were Pirates and the Pirates were to some extent Scandinavian.
July 4th, 2009 at 4:35 am
The content is stolen from here:
http://www.vikingrune.com/2009/02/top-ten-myths-about-vikings/
Shame on you.
July 19th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
The picture on #5 is inaccurate. Why would there be a cross on that building? More importantly the village would have to be a reconstruction. The only settlement found in Canada was at L’Anse aux Meadows, and that had to be dug up.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
This was completely ripped off from
http://www.vikingrune.com/2009/02/top-ten-myths-about-vikings//
look at the dates.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
The ancient Ukrainians invited the Vikings to organize a governing orderly trade network which evolved into the Kievan Rus empire which encompassed the territories of the Eastern Slavs. The Vikings successfully integrated and assimilated into this empire which developed into a flourishing high culture entity which was the envy of Western Europe. Eventually this empire was weakened due to infighting which unhinged its unity and in the end made it vulnerable to the destructive Mongol invasions from the East.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:04 am
I am proud to be of Norwegian descent. We are one of the very few peoples in the world whom are tolerant of ethnic jokes about our own heritage (Norwegians). At most of our meetings at the Sons of Norway and in much of our literature we encounter jokes about Ole and Sven for example. We are an open-minded culture, readily blending with and accepting other peoples of the world. We are the ones whom brought about the Nobel Peace prize. Typically, we do not fear death and are skeptical of encroaching propaganda and tales.
August 1st, 2009 at 9:52 am
Dr Selnes: I think you are confusing a sterilized liberal Minnesota ‘lefse’ liberalism, with Christian, Orthodox Nordic Culture.
St. Olav’s last words before he died at the Battle of Stiklestad, to make Norway Christian, were:
Forward, Kingsmen!
Forward, Christ’s Soldiers!
Forward, Cross Men!
The Norse used to be very INTOLERANT of error. Some of us still are….
September 9th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Fuxnix, if you seriously think that vikings would be decimated by those pathetic islanders with absolutely no significant culture, then I will personally come to you and show you how vikings do business. Hahahaha, naaaaaaa I’m just playin with ya. But vikings would still win in any case.
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 am
I would like to point out that the Varangian Guard were not Swedish. Sweden did not exist as a state till more than 300 years later.
Varangian means “Man from the North”, and were the founders of Kievan Rus. They were in the service of the Prince of Novgorod, whose daughter was married to the King of Norway (Norway was founded in 872).
The Norse name for Bysanz was “Miklagard”, meaning “Large City”. The Guard was instituted by King Sigurd Jorsalfar of Norway. Jorsal = Jerusalem and far = traveller, or in this case, crusader.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
164th post!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
humm n where did ur imformations about misconceptions about the vikings are proved?