Top 10 Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals
Published on January 30, 2008 - 155 Comments
Here is a topic about the birds and the bees - as it relates to the animal kingdom. This is a selection of 10 of the most bizarre mating rituals known to man.
10. Red-Sided Garter Snakes

These snakes are small and poisonous, and live in Canada and the Northwestern United States. Their highly unusual mating takes place during an enormous orgy. Hundreds snakes slither together in a large den, eager to copulate. In that pile, one female may have as many as 100 males vying for her. These ‘nesting balls’ grow as large as two feet high. Now and then a female is crushed under the heavy mound.
Interesting Fact: Some male garter snakes are able to release the same scent that females release, causing them to be mounted by hundreds of other snakes. Scientists believe this may be for warmth and protection.
9. Argonaut

Argonauts exhibit extreme sexual dimorphism in size and lifespan. Females grow up to 10 cm and make shells up to 30 cm, while males rarely surpass 2 cm. The males only mate once in their short lifetime. The males lack the dorsal tentacles used by the females to create their eggcases. The males use a modified arm, the hectocotylus, to transfer sperm to the female. For fertilization, the arm is inserted into the female’s pallial cavity, then is detached from the male.
Interesting Fact: Argonauts are capable of altering their color. They can blend in with their surroundings to avoid predators.
8. Whiptail Lizard

The whiptail lizard is an all-female species. It reproduces through a method called parthenogenesis. Each Whiptail lizard has an ovarian cycle of 21 to 28 days. When two are placed in a cage together, they synchronize their cycles so they are opposite. For 10 to 14 days, one of the females will act male, which means she mounts the other. The remaining Whiptail takes the female role by receiving; then they switch roles. This is unusual as neither is truly male. The resulting offspring of this method of mating is a perfect clone of its mother.
Interesting Fact: In the lab, through genetic manipulation, scientists have been able to artifically create true male whiptail lizards.
7. Anglerfish

The Anglerfish has one of the most unique mating methods. When a male is born, it has no digestive system so it needs to find a female (all of which do have digestive systems) quickly. When it finds a suitable female, it latches on to the side of her by biting her and it releases an enzyme that melts her skin causing the two to fuse together. The male then wastes away and the female has a permanent supply of sperm to fertilize her eggs on demand.
Interesting Fact: The anglerfish is a culinary speciality in certain Asian countries. In Japan, each fish sells for as much as $150 USD.
6. Bedbug

Bedbugs mate by “traumatic insemination” - what this means is that the male doesn’t even bother with the female sexual organs - it simply stabs the female with its own sword like sexual organ in any part of her body. Lovely. This form of mating is thought to have evolved as a way for males to overcome female mating resistance.
Interesting Fact: Bedbugs are generally active only at dawn, with a peak attack period about an hour before dawn.
5. Giant Panda

Giant Pandas are famously difficult to get to mate in captivity - at least until some bright spark in China discovered that showing them panda porn seems to help increase their libido! In 1998 the result of showing panda porn lead to the population of pandas in Wolong zoo to more than double.
Interesting Fact: Two of President Theodore Roosevelt’s sons were the first Westerners to shoot a giant panda for sport.
4. Percula Clownfish

The star fish in Finding Nemo is a clownfish. What most people don’t know, is that Nemo was neither a boy nor a girl - s/he was both! Clownfish can change gender! They will normally live together in a small group - the largest is the female, the second largest is the male, and the rest are non-mating males. If the female dies, the largest male will become the female, and the largest of the non-mating males will be promoted to the mating male.
Interesting Fact: Clownfish and damselfish are the only fish that can avoid the potent stings of an anemone.
3. Giraffe

Female giraffes associate in groups of a dozen or so members, occasionally including a few younger males. Males tend to live in “bachelor” herds, with older males often leading solitary lives. Reproduction is polygamous, with a few older males impregnating all the fertile females in a herd. Male giraffes determine female fertility by nudging the females backside until she urinates in his mouth - he uses the taste to determine whether the female is in heat.
Interesting Fact: Giraffes have extremely long tongues - often up to 45cm.
2. Porcupine

Female porcupines are only interested in sex for 8-12 hours per year. Interested males will stand on their hind legs and spray a female with urine. If she is ready and interested, she will expose her quill-less belly to the male and they will mate until they are both exhausted. if the male tires before the female, she will seek another male to take his place. If a female is not ready or interested in a male, she will make a screaming noise and shake the males urine off herself.
Interesting Fact: Porcupine meat is valued as a food for humans in parts of Africa, Italy, and Vietnam.
1. The Spotted Hyena

Unlike most other hyenas, the female spotted hyena has a pseudo-penis (enlarged clitoris). Female hyenas give birth, copulate, and urinate through their protruding genitalia, which stretches to allow the male penis to enter for copulation, and it also stretches during birth. The anatomical position of the genitalia gives females total sexual control over who is allowed to mate with them. The female is also larger than the male. In the spotted hyena family, the female really does wear the pants.
Interesting Fact: Hyenas, unlike other canids, do not raise their leg when urinating.
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1. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 8:35 am
FIRST! First.
2. Moriarti - January 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I’m glad human females aren’t like porcupines eh?
3. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Wow. And I thought I had some weird rituals in bed . . .
4. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Moriati: I imagine virtually 100% of the female population would agree with you
Mystern: maybe you could put them on a list?
5. bucslim - January 30th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I was going to go into detail about kiwiboi’s mom and her bizarre behavior in bed, but I have a lot of work to do today.
6. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 8:45 am
JF: Oh? are we allowed to submit NSFW lists now? I know there’s a section but the contribute page still says not to.
7. dangorironhide - January 30th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Wow. Some of them are so fucking wierd… The clownfish, anglerfish & lizard are really bizzare.
I don’t think the giant panda really belongs on this list, they only have small libidos…
“If a female is not ready or interested in a male, she will make a screaming noise and shake the males urine off herself.” That made me laugh so much! I’m sure a lot of women would scream if a guy pissed on her!
8. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Mystern: sure - I have decided not to write any more myself - but I will definitely consider posting others if I like them
dangorironhide: hahah I would say you are right
9. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Mystern: man - I am so thick today - I guess that was meant to be a joke in response to my previous comment
Sorry I missed it 
10. chershey - January 30th, 2008 at 8:49 am
I think I would screech and shake the male’s urine off me *every* time.
11. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 8:51 am
JF: I personally thought your original comment was the best part of the joke.
12. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 8:54 am
chershey: I am extremely pleased to hear it
13. dangorironhide - January 30th, 2008 at 8:58 am
chershey: I’m sure most guys wouldn’t have any interest at all in doing that! Well, definitely not me at least
14. Rew - January 30th, 2008 at 9:01 am
the giraffe pic is special
15. Rob cairl - January 30th, 2008 at 9:19 am
not a contributor, love your web site but….garter snakes are NOT poisonous
16. sam - January 30th, 2008 at 9:25 am
I did not know that giraffes were kinky…she really pisses in his mouth? Ewwww…..
17. Shane S. - January 30th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Notable exclusion:
Male mammal sees female mammal at local social gathering spot. Male mammal encourages female mammal to drink liquids made of fermented grains or fruits. Female mammal is overcome by the liquid, altering her judgement. Male mammal further wins her affection by providing her with flowers and/or a type of crystalized carbon, a very rare rock. Female mammal eventually gives in and engages in mating process. Soon after, male mammal loses all interest in female mammal, and moves on to the next one.
18. Joss - January 30th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I can’t get over the panda pr0n.
19. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 9:36 am
A lot of these mating rituals seem pretty viciuos. . . . Well always did like it rough though. ; )
20. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 9:37 am
I live in Canada, Garter snakes are non venomous in the traditional sense, no venom glands, no fangs. Their saliva can provoke a response (itching, redness) in sensitive individuals and may be toxic to some small mammals and fish. I’ve been bitten tons of times (I was a tomboy),and never had a reaction.
21. Brandon5am - January 30th, 2008 at 9:40 am
I think your bedbug paragraph is worded wierd “- what this means is that the male doesn’t even both with the female sexual organs ” idk maybe I am seeing things.
22. Brandon5am - January 30th, 2008 at 9:48 am
ah thats better jfrater
23. dangorironhide - January 30th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Shane S: Methinks that one should replace the pandas
I loved the last sentence in it: “Soon after, male mammal loses all interest in female mammal, and moves on to the next one.” 
24. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 9:50 am
I wonder if any of the female pandas get embarrassed by the porn. Man I had to fast forward through the sex scene in Terminator.
25. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Mom424: The scene in Terminator? Really? What did you do about the orgy in the Matrix 2?
26. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am
“He uses the taste to determine whether the female’s urine is in heat”.
I guess this is like getting to 3rd base for the male giraffe.
I was thinking If I was a male giraffe and it got to this stage in our relationship and I went to the trouble of tasting her urine I think I deserve to have sex weather she is in heat or not. Sorry if you think that’s just using her for sex but that’s just the way I am.
27. JMurf - January 30th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Does anyone know the name of a snail, where two of them hang of a tree, release these blue luminescent tails that spin around and fuse together at the end? I saw it on an Attenbourough show once and it was amazing :D. They Should be definitely be on the list.
28. horsefeathers - January 30th, 2008 at 9:58 am
First time commenting, I love the site. Just an FYI - garter snakes are non-poisonous. Keep up the great work!
29. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:02 am
JMurf: that sounds a bit like gloworms.
30. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 10:02 am
The whiptail lizard dry humps to get in the mood?
I like wine and compliments!
31. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Mom424: forget the compliments - wine’s all I need!
32. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 10:05 am
jmurf; in a huge rope of iridescent snot?
yuck, i saw it too. I will try and find out its’ name.
33. copperdragon - January 30th, 2008 at 10:05 am
was expecting to see the praying mantis and other insects where the female eats the male after mating.
are humans the only creatures that have sex for recreation as well as procreation??
34. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I get the remote. I’m not offended by porn (most of it), just embarrassed. Lord I can blush thinkin’ about what I did last night…
Its’ a hang-up, My mom gave it too me..
35. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Copperdragon: No. Manatees and dolphins have sex for pleasure. There are a few other species but I can’t think of them offhand.
36. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 10:08 am
copperdragon; No way, take a look at Bonobos, a kind of ape,,,Straight sex, Lesbo sex, gay sex, man they are the Freddy Mercury of the animal kingdom.
37. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:08 am
copperdragon: you may be interested to know that the praying mantis does not eat its mate - that myth has come about from a badly run study done long ago under conditions that were extremely stressful to the creature - it is not seen at all under normal circumstances or in other less-stressful studies
There is a type of monkey that has sex for recreation - I can’t remember what they are called though. They also practise oral sex and other very human aspects of sex.
38. R Brown - January 30th, 2008 at 10:10 am
My wife works in a Jewish hospital and apparently the slang Jews use for taking a dump is “make.” “I have to make.” My wife was perplexed the first time she heard this and of course asked “Make what?” Her patient did not understnad that my wife did not understand.
Now that you have that piece of knowledge, I found this misstyped sentence quite amusing and, quite impressive on the porcupine’s behalf
“and they will make until they are both exhausted”
YEEOW!!
39. rearden - January 30th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Hey everyone. Only discovered the site about a month ago; it’s proved to be quite the “time passer” here at work. Thanks jfrater!
A notable exclusion from this list (imo) is the black widow. While the male is lighting a post-coital cigarette, the female is playing out murder scenarios. Gotta love it.
40. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:17 am
rearden: Welcome to the site! The Black Widow is definitely a contender for this list! Thanks for mentioning it
R Brown: Thank you for pointing out the typo - yet another! I have corrected it
41. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 10:19 am
JMurf; I couldn’t find the snail one, but almost equally disgusting is this slug
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Grey_Slug
42. Monkey - January 30th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Mom 424 - LOL @ “The Freddie Mercury of the animal kingdom!”
43. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I once read that man is the only mammal able to have sex face-to-face. Does anybody know if this is true?
44. sam - January 30th, 2008 at 10:24 am
During mating the genitals of male honey bees explode and snap off inside the queen.
45. Amy - January 30th, 2008 at 10:25 am
“Sleep tight…don’t let the bed bugs bite…”
Um - more like, “sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs stab you with their elongated, sword-like sexual organ and then have their way with you!!!”
OMG! They are so menacing to me now!!!! CREEEEEEEEPY!
46. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Sam: OUCH!
47. Amy - January 30th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Blogball - I think primates can have sex in the missionary position.
***I’m definitely not an expert on this, though. (Thank God!!) LOL.
48. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Blogball: no - the monkeys described by Mom424 as the “Freddie Mercury” of the animal kingdom also have face to face sex
I believe they even french kiss.
49. Kristan - January 30th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Long time reader - 1st time writer…
I actually took a couple of animal behavior classes in college and so I’ve known about most of these. I wish you had found a picture of the hyena’s pseudo-penis, it’s ridiculous!
Also, there are a few more which I’ve always found funny…
There’s a type of fish which makes a small hole in the sand and lays upside down. Females generally hide in these holes, so when one lands on top of the male he injects her with sperm before she can swim away.
There’s more but I’d have to get out my books, haha!
50. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 10:37 am
jfrater: something about monkeys french kissing just really skeeves me out
51. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I would almost pay to see 2 giraffes french kiss
52. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 10:40 am
The comments on this list are classic!!
JMurf & Mom424: I don’t know the name but I know there was one in the Planet Earth Caves segment that had irredescent spit. Maybe that will help.
I’m personally thinking of waking up before dawn now to make sure that the bedbugs don’t “stab” me in random spots…yeacch!!
53. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Kristan: ha ha, those sneaky males. This just proves that males (regardless of the species) can be very conniving and deceitful. . . not to say that females aren’t, sorry guys
54. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I vote for not seeing the Hyena’s psuedo penis! Same goes for the french kissing giraffe’s while we are at it.
55. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 10:54 am
toolnut: me too - I was even uncomfortable with the two apes kissing in planet of the apes and they were humans in costume!
56. JMurf - January 30th, 2008 at 10:56 am
SocialButterfly:
No I don’t think it was Planet Earth, I saw a clip of it when they were interviewing him on Parkinsons, a chat show in the uk
Mom424: The slugs i saw were amazing and beautiful, it was unbelievable to me anyway
57. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 11:00 am
I apologize to anyone who took offense to my gay/lesbo remarks. I’m actually for all kinds of sex, I just don’t believe in hedonism…unless you’re a Bonobo…
58. Harsha - January 30th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Actually there is one type of monkeys which is much better at making out than humans. Saw it on NGC, cant remember their type, but their sexual sessions lasts for around 8-12 hours, indulge in oral, anal sex, and exhibit homosexuality with …er..’penis fencing’.
Also, the world record for the longest orgasm for a mammal, is held by pigs…over 90 minutes!!
59. copperdragon - January 30th, 2008 at 11:05 am
rearden, jfrater: i KNEW there was some critter that killed/ate its mate after mating. thanks for the black widow reminder. are there others?
60. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Mom424: I am almost completely certain that no one would have taken offence - it was one of the funniest comments on the site in recent days
It may even have been funnier than my “tighty whiteys and cosmos” comment a couple of days ago - but I am not sure 
61. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Harsha: 90 minutes?!?! I am speechless!
62. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Isn’t penis fencing’ the new sport that will be introduced in the Summer Olympics this year?
63. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Blogball: I think you are confusing it with the London olympics in which it will be introduced along side oral sex (as is clearly seen in the London 2012 logo).
64. rearden - January 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
copperdragon: according to the wikipedia article on “sexual cannibalism”, other species that exhibit this behavior are scorpions and the mantis. (is more than one mantis a mantii? lol)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_cannibalism
It’s an interesting read actually.
65. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
jfrater; I wouldn’t mind meeting the winner of that event…
Lord I’m blushing again…
66. rearden - January 30th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Harsha: if that particular species of monkey engages in penis fencing, then it’s fair to assume that they probably play “tummy sticks” as well.
67. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Jamie, yes I remember wasn’t that included in the worst logos list?
68. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Harsha: a sexual session that lasts 8-12 hours and includes anal, oral, and anything in between sounds a little exhausting. . . but fun
69. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Mom424: haha
Blogball: it definitely was
70. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 11:27 am
JF: For a second i thought you said “it definitely was” to Toolnut. This is byfar the most interesting ‘verse conversation in a while.
71. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Mystern: hahahah - are you calling me a monkey?!
72. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
JF: Um. I’m not sure how to answer that question. I could get in trouble no matter which way I take it.
73. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Mystern: aaaah, that makes me laugh. That could have been embarrassing. ha ha
74. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
The comments are the best part of this site. I don’t care what anyone says, they are priceless.
75. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Mystern: always better safe than sorry
76. heavybison - January 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am
So wtf is this penis fencing thing neway!! or is it that obvious?
77. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
heavybison: it is that obvious
78. Derek99 - January 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
The male bed bug mating ritual sounds awfully familiar to mine
79. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
JF, if I post the 100th comment can I have one of them there panda porn DVDs ?
80. heavybison - January 30th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
#Blogball: U in captivity eh?
81. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Blogball: I think we can accommodate that
82. goof_ball - January 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I learned about the porcupine thing on Wildboyz
Amazing what MTV2 teaches you
83. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Blogball: Yeah? Well I’m gonna win and sell it on Amazon.com. It’s gonna be sweet.
84. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I will take either Deep Panda, Panda Does Dallas or Getting Randy with my Pandy.
85. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Haha - those are my best vids - it is going to be traumatic to part with them!
86. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Or maybe Ling Ling and his Ding a Ling
87. heavybison - January 30th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Panda does Dallas!! LOL!!! That would be a treat…howz abt behind the green panda?
88. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Pandauella?
89. heavybison - January 30th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Debbie does Panda…now that would take it to a whole different level..
90. Bob - January 30th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
How could a mating method “evolve”? An individual who attempted to mate that way (and that would be a behavior, not phsyiological) would fail to mate and thus die off, thereby not perpetuating that behavior. Also, ignoring the physiology, a male who tried to mate this way would have to just *happen* to find a female who could be mated with this way. Would never happen. This is why evolutionary claims of this sort are stupid.
91. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
DP that Panda anyone?
92. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Wow, I’m gone for a few hours and the conversation goes porn related.
How about Pandas Gone Wild?
93. SubliminalDeath666 - January 30th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Holy crap, this list already reached 90+ comments!! Not that surprised though…..
94. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
SocialButterfly: Naw, that’s softcore stuff.
95. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
SB thats funny Pandas Gone Wild.
When you think about it that’s what nature intended.
96. heavybison - January 30th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
JF, is that ispiration enuf for a classic NSFW list? Geez, i can think of the howls of protests in the comments already..
97. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Panda Passion. The tragic story of two lives gone awry.
98. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
LOL! @ Mystern.. Ok how about Snoop Dogg introduces Panda’s Gone Wild… I heard that one is hardcore.
Blogball: Yeah, I laughed after I thought of it. One of those cryptic double meaning ones…
99. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Panda Passion hmm?? sounds like it was written by Danielle Steel!
100. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I WIN!
101. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
JAMIE I WANT MY PANDA PORNO!
102. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I agree with heavybison Jamie; maybe we should look into making a Panda Porn titles list.
103. Blogball - January 30th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Dog gone it!! I saving “Talk Panda to Me”
as my 100th comment.
Way to go Mystern.
Can I borrow the DVD after you get done with it?
104. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
hehe I have to ring the Chinese zoos to see if I can get a copy
105. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
damn! I wanted to donate the porno to csimmons…
106. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Blogball: Of course! It might be a bit messy though.
JF: You better hurry up, I gots me som watchin’ to do.
107. Mystern - January 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
SB: Actually that might be worthwhile.
108. jfrater - January 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
SocialButterfly: hahaha (re csimmons)
I am looking forward to receiving a list of panda porn titles
109. SocialButterfly - January 30th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
hahaha… I think we have almost all of them here all ready!
110. Hannah - January 30th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Haven’t posted in a while, but these comments are hilarious.
Blogball: getting randy with my pandy sounds like the best Panda Porn title yet!
111. Angelina - January 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Don’t forget the small, indie: Brokeback Panda
112. Hannah - January 30th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
2 PANDAS ONE CUP……..EW
113. Angelina - January 30th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Hannah: I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!!!
114. downhighway61 - January 30th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
“two pandas, one cup” is more for the reaction though. most pandas don’t actually look at it in a sexual way. it’s too graphic.
115. Jade - January 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
the whiptail lizard is the coolest one!!
I don’t think the Hyena was that bizarre, unless I missed something
116. Hannah - January 30th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
downhighway61: please tell me what you have been doing with panda’s that would give you this insight??? LOL…….j/k!
117. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
don’t forget about all of the resulting hilarious videos of various pandas watching and reacting to 2 pandas 1 cup
118. downhighway61 - January 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
hannah- um. well…. er… i….
i swear it was for research!
119. RobS - January 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
“Female porcupines are only interested in sex for 8-12 hours per year.”
Hmmm… so was my second wife.
I’M KIDDING!
Thank you, Cleveland!
I’ll be here all week!
Don’t forget to tip your waitress!
120. longball - January 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
i think humans mating is the best wierd way…so many cool and painful positions.
we copied them all from animals!
121. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Jade: you don’t find anything unusual about an elongated clitoris, or the fact that female hyenas can control who they have sex with just by adjusting the position of their genitalia? If you ask me if I saw someone with a pseudo-penis it would freak me out just a little. And if a girl could tell you no just by moving her clit around a bit. . . I don’t know that could either make dating a lot easier or maybe a lot harder, not sure yet
122. Hannah - January 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
toolnut: LMAO
123. petey mcgee - January 30th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
check out the woodcock mating ritual… we have them here in northeast ohio anyway. in early spring around dusk, if you head to a meadow on the edge of the woods you can witness it. hard to explain, but pretty cool.
124. antlyon - January 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Don’t know how bizarre this is but when a pig mates the male has a 30 minute orgasm.
125. Csimmons - January 30th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
antylon: thats not bizarre, its just the weirdest f****ing thing ive ever heard.
126. beanshide - January 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
so the male anglerfish doesn’t live at all, his purpose is to find a female and give her his sperm? that is really sad.
and yes, what a wonderful way of having sex, if we follow bedbug: “so you don’t want to do it tonight? that’s all right, I’ll just stab you with my sexual organ anyway.”
127. Mom424 - January 30th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
toolnut; you win the laugh out loud prize….
128. toolnut - January 30th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
mom424: that totally just made my day!
129. jocsboss - January 30th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Well, starting at #79 this comment section went for shit. Very, very funny, guys. You so witty!
130. dastex - January 30th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
The most bizarre of all is of course our human mating rituals. Bathing, dressing in fancy clothes, gyrating in nightclubs and imbibing alcohol to fool the other sex into sleeping with us
131. me - January 30th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
BEDBUGS natures rapist
if only….
my nights out will be so much easier
132. downhighway61 - January 30th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
dastex- you’re trying too hard. skip everything but the alcohol, it’s much quicker.
133. Drogo - January 31st, 2008 at 4:05 am
Pandamoanium - it’s in Chinese so it would need to be translated… Wait a second, WHAT am I thinking? No one cares about the dialog.
134. Drogo - January 31st, 2008 at 4:08 am
“dialog” means dialogue
135. SocialButterfly - January 31st, 2008 at 6:51 am
I thought of a good one last night… One night in Panda!!
136. JwJwBean - January 31st, 2008 at 7:44 am
I had heard about the whiptail when I was younger and single. It was then I realized we woman don’t really need a man. Of course those grey slugs mom posted say hermaphrodite, but sounded more like to men that don’t need a woman.
137. JwJwBean - January 31st, 2008 at 7:45 am
okay that is 2 (two) men. I missed the w
138. jfrater - January 31st, 2008 at 7:51 am
SocialButterly: haha so wrong so wrong!
139. avi - January 31st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Hyenas are not canids they have their own family
140. Gr8flDdFn - January 31st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
lol Moriarti some females are ;o)
141. scott - January 31st, 2008 at 10:16 pm
are you sure that garter snakesa re poisonous? last time i checked they weren’t . just checking
142. Drogo - February 1st, 2008 at 3:05 am
I hope the Garter snakes around here aren’t poisonous. I had a cat that would bring them into the house. My mom would freak out, and I had to catch them. The dumb things would try to hide under my sleeve by slithering up my arm. Outside I would shake them out of the sleeve, play with them a little, then set them free. They did leave a funny smell on my skin.
143. ringtailroxy - February 1st, 2008 at 5:29 pm
a Hyena is NOT a canid! a canid is any one of 35 wild or domestic species that include the domestic dog, wolves, fox, specialized south american fox, raccoon dogs, dholes, dingoes, african wild dogs, bush dogs, maned wolves, jackals, coyotes, new guinea singing dogs.
a hyena is a member of it’s own family, Hyaenidae. they are not closely related to canids, but instead, are closer to meerkats and mongeese.
so that is why they do not urinate by lifting a leg. they prefer to extend their anal glands form their rectum and mark their scent directly on objects.
sorry it’s a bit gross… but they proably think we are the ugliest apes to ever evolve out of africa!
p.s. garter snakes are NOT poisonous.
144. NZSpringy - February 1st, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Lucky Pigs!!!
The comments today are A one - had a good giggle - hubby thinks I’ve gone nuts laughing away to myself.
145. jocsboss - February 2nd, 2008 at 7:10 am
When I was about ten years old I saw a ball of garter snakes. I was climbing up an old rotten stump when the side broke off. I fell on the ground and a ball of snakes rolled out of the stump onto my legs. They went slithering off in different directions. Until now I had no idea why the snakes were in a big ball (volley-ball size) or that I had disturbed what is essentially and orgy.
146. gerard pawling - February 9th, 2008 at 9:23 am
my mate trevor sent these snaps and they are fantastic - how was this knowledge gathered?
147. erin - February 21st, 2008 at 8:21 pm
someone must have really liked this list because they pretty much just plagiarized it.
http://www.cracked.com/article.....tuals.html
148. Cyn - February 21st, 2008 at 8:32 pm
different animals. not sure of date of publication either.
this one was Published on January 30, 2008
same concept though.
149. erin - February 22nd, 2008 at 2:04 am
a lot of animals are the same though & their descriptions are very similar too. it was published this week.
150. Cyn - February 22nd, 2008 at 2:42 am
thanx erin…i dunno. think i’ll defer to J.
151. jfrater - February 22nd, 2008 at 4:06 am
Erin: our list predates cracked by about a month. I guess they liked our one
152. gregmonsta - June 11th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
GARTER SNAKES ARE NOT POISONOUS!!! >>> INFACT NO SNAKES ARE POISONOUS >>> THE APPROPRIATE WORD IS VENEMOUS AND …. GARTERS AREN’T VENEMOUS EITHER!!!!
153. MPW - June 11th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
try venomous:)
154. Fortey - June 15th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I’m the author of the Cracked article and I just had this pointed out to me. Some of you may want to look up what plagiarism actually is before you toss that word around, in full ignorance of the 9 completely different animals on the list I wrote, the fact that this information is available on pretty much any nature website on Earth and that Cracked is a comedy website thus the article was a comedy article.
155. kiwiboi - June 15th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I’m the author of the Cracked article and I just had this pointed out to me.
Muahahahahah
:)