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10 More Toys Parents Dread

lifeschool . . . Comments

Children’s toys used to be very simple, quite easy to play with, not at all noisy, and often prohibitively expensive – meaning many kids had to do without. Times have changed, and now any scrawny necked, lanky legged individual of an underdeveloped social nature, can pound parents into submission to obtain a legitimate weapons superiority. Lets take another look at some of the candidates of this tactical arsenal – this list, of course, follows on from our Top 10 Toys Parents Dread.


Kids Karaoke Machines

Barbie Karaoke

A recent addition to our list, nothing hits the spot more than a 7-year-old screeching out half the words to a Cheeky Girls or Britney Spears number – perhaps only with the exception of four 7-year-olds trying to do the same thing ‘in harmony’. House parties have never been so much fun, especially when you can close the patio doors behind you, and walk several hundred miles in the opposite direction.




A small firework made illegal in most parts of the world. Popular in the 1950’s and 60’s, the banger was the staple implement of torture for many boys who wished to make a huge impact on society. Generally, the banger was used to inflict fear, trauma, and – as a best-case scenario – a severe cardiac arrest on victims of a sensitive disposition.


Play Makeup

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By looping the words – “Get that off your face!” onto a cassette, it is technically possible to save over 200 hours worth of mental and vocal stress caused as a result of abusing these substances. As the term ‘won’t be seen dead wearing that!’ doesn’t appear to affect the young, many displays of tragically disheveling art can often be seen on the faces of the innocent.




Many parents have learned to patiently applaud the appalling efforts of their offspring when it comes to painted art; much of which finding it’s way to the sides of fridge-freezers everywhere. Paint runs – as fast as it can – into clothing, rugs, doors and pets, and scientific experts have calculated that a single sheet of blank A4 paper typically needs to be surrounded by 8 square miles of yesterdays newspapers to save the carpet receiving the traditional Sunday afternoon makeover.



Spooky Stickers Oct27

Aside from the sheer volume of children’s magazines which pile up under the beds of pre-teens, by far the worst side effect of this type of behavior is often the infamy of the included stickers. Many wardrobes have suffered in recent years under the sheer weight of stickers festooned over their exteriors. Nothing escapes the tyranny of the sticker, and to date, no blend of bio-hazardous toxin chemicals have proven effective at removing their blight on humanity.


Nursery Rhyme Players

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When Mums and Dads are busy, they may inadvertently place their faith in musical toys to satisfy the hungry minds of their immediate descendants. Unfortunately, this is counter-productive, and leads to a condition doctors have known for years as ‘loosing one’s rag’. If taking out frustrations on inanimate objects is your kind of heaven, please send in your address and you will receive your just deserts.


Voice ‘Learners’

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Learning the alphabet or the numbers using an annoying female voice has been around for centuries, but if your mother-in-law is busy, try to avoid using one of these machines at all costs. Listen; as an endless series of discordant jingles, similes and phonics are played repeatedly by the delicate touch of a child’s whole hand over all the buttons.


Musical Instruments

Kids Instruments

Use successfully by the CIA since the turn of the century, nothing works more effectively and damagingly on human levels of tolerance than a 12-year-old playing the violin, a 4-year-old playing a miniature drum kit, or a 9-year-old blowing into a recorder (or flute). Scientists in Russia have termed parental exposure to this kind of treatment ‘neurological meltdown’ or ‘cranium critical mass’, and victims have often resorted to quite drastic feats of human strength in order ensure these kinds of instruments are never capable of playing ‘music’ ever again.


Play Doh


What can you do with play doh that you can’t do with plasticine or real dough? Experts were baffled for weeks when set this question during the late 20th century. That was until one man dejectedly pushed the material into a salt shaker and it ‘looked a bit like hair’. Since then, millions of children of all ages have sat this same simple test; all of whom failed to come up with anything at all. The legend of play doh was born.



Lego Babbage

Where is the best place to find Lego? In the vacuum cleaner of course! This was the winning entry of many in this competition; runners up include – on the stairs, between the cracks in the patio, in the bathtub, and of course, in beds. There are several ways in which Lego has taken the crown of ‘the most annoying toy’. First of all because Lego is so easy to consume, many ‘consumers’ have found their Lego products have made it all the way down the toilet and into the sea – where they continue to annoy sea life in the same way. Secondly, because Lego is so small, adult fingers can often loose their ability to manipulate the material; similar to trying to pick up a coin using a bunch of bananas. Many triumphs of model engineering have been crushed under-foot, under car tires, under bottoms, and between fingers – sometimes sending lethal Lego shrapnel in all directions at once. Avoid.

Contributor: lifeschool

  • Saruka: I would recommend for a little girl an old fashioned music box – the music is gentle and quiet, it can become an heirloom, and it introduces children to classical music :)

    • Jill

      That’s one of the best ideas I have ever read!

  • BA88

    I really miss playing with legos.

    • me too, my sculptures always collapsed D:

  • Saruka

    What would be good toys? I don’t have kids myself so I wouldn’t know. Just wondering as Christmas is getting closer and my little goddaughter needs a pressie.

  • Toolhead

    all these toys are great!~

  • badabing

    I agree, legos were my favorite as a kid.

  • badabing

    I gave my niece a bead necklace building set, you should have seen the look my brother gave me. She’s seven.

  • Frank

    You say “10 more toys parents dread” I say “10 good Christmas gifts to the kids of other people.”

  • smurff

    I think # 9 is the worst on the list, I have seen what trauma pets go through a week before and a week after 5 November.

  • jck1074

    hahaha, i had like 6 of these at one point or another…..but now i see how annoying they are.

    Children having fun and toys getting thrown out the window, is a very thin line that is often crossed (especially by toys made by Plays-cool and anything sticky and wet)
    When you do go crazy, make sure your child isn’t recording you on their fancy karaoke (number 10) , as this may be used in court as evidence for child abuse.

  • jck1074

    I love legos and in fact may still have a box somewhere. When i was a kid, we had a whole back room set up just for legos. Ahhh nostalgia (excuse me if i spelled that wrong. It’s 2 AM here)

  • Polymath

    I’m 38 and still have a huge box of lego.

  • astraya

    I had a deprived childhood. I had paint, and proved to be utterly inept, and musical instruments, and went on to gain several qualifications in music, become a published composer, and sing on CDs, international television and in the Albert Hall, London (as part of a choir). So there’s no telling where childhood toys my lead.

  • PirateXxEsque

    Well actually, once you’ve removed the plastic part of the sticker, eucalyptus oil is fantastic for removing sticker gummy crap.

    Lego is epic.

    And this list was timed well. people jsut starting to think about what to get people for christmas…
    Amen @ 7.

  • lily

    whats wrong with these toys there is nothing that horrible about them a bad toy would be a watergun or anyting violent i dont see anything wrong with these toys except for the banger ofcourse

  • Hemza3000

    I never had any of these.. :(

    But then again, I DO have loving parents.

  • Redcaboose

    Of course, these toys do not bother grandparents at all. We can give them to our grandkids, and call it payback. :)

  • ElenaSFA

    Seventeenth comment! Holy crap that’s the closest I’ve ever been to a first comment!

    Anyway’s, and I have to ask (great list by the way) does anybody know when Shark Week is going to be on the Discovery Channel?

  • jake ryder

    My kids have at least six of these and they don’t bother me at all, but then again I am very immature myself.

  • nyys

    I used to love legos too.

  • Nicosia

    I have a five year old girl… There are stickers on her walls, on her stuffed animals, on her bedroom furniture, on her backpack, on her books, on her baby brother… etc.

  • Felmin

    PirateEsque- I would be weary to believe that eucalyptus oil has any erosive properties that would aid in the removal of the sticker-glue and that any efficacy attributed to this method would more likely be the alcohol used in the extraction of the oil. But I pulled that out of my a**.

  • Louise

    What about racing tracks? Nothing like a 10 cm car smashing into your knee, while trying to complete a loop. Or flying over the edge in the corners, despite the little white “blockers”. Hurts like h… and are not that funny to step on either!!!

  • Jaz_3

    i miss lego…

  • legos were one of my favorites when i was younger and my middle sister was a play doh fan. my mom hated when we got creative and wanted to make things out of them together! we realized my baby sister had an artistic hand when we would give her washable paint when she was younger!

  • ian

    im 18 and still play with legos when im really bored sometimes haha

  • geert

    legos are the best. definitely the only toy my kids are getting.

  • deepthinker

    Playdough is bad, but not as bad as moon sand! It’s fun to play with, but not fun getting it out of every nook and cranny in your home! I have never heard of bangers.

  • Namowal

    You learn the dark side of Legos the day you step on a rogue piece barefoot.

  • darthbarbie

    I’ve got just two words for ya: Moon Sand….I swear it would top any list of annoying toys ever made. My son got it for x-mas and after a week we kept trying to think of people we hate to give the Moon Sand to…just remember you’ve been warned!

  • angryfeet

    Ahh… I’m a nanny for a four year old boy, as well as auntie to two nieces, 2 and 4 years. I would add matchbox cars to this list, for the same reasons as Legos – the Boy has, ( literally, we counted! ) 173 matchbox cars, and they ALL must be used to play with several times a day. Also, beading/jewelery making kits should certainly be on here.

    And BTW, I think Shark Week is usually in June or July, but I might be wrong about that.

  • Rosa

    Legos are awesome, but my dad doesn’t appreciate stepping on them. :)

    Also, play-doh tastes HORRIBLE! I mean, it smells ok, and it says “non toxic”, so that’s like an invitation to eat it. But when you do, it’s like: AAAHHHH!!! *RETCH* Just think of the most disgusting this you have ever tasted… ok, well that’s just peanuts to how bad play-doh tastes.

  • bueno91

    I love/hate legos I would always want them but when I finally got them my little attention span would kick in and I would abodon them. I feel bad for my dad now I always wanted what was on the box so I would make him build it for me

  • ryan

    Thank you! I know have a shopping lists for my nephews and nieces.

  • Ghidoran

    adult fingers can often loose their ability

    Lose, not loose.

  • I had 3 children, born in a span of 33 months. My family is a family of artists; musicians, photographers, writers, painters, and because of this we have a slightly different view of life than other people might.
    For example, paint, legos, musical instruments, play doh (I could list a dozen more) have extraordinary value because they encourage creativity.
    There was never a time when I put the mess that would be left, over the fun of the activity. Most of the “toys” which can leave messes, can be dealt with ahead of time so that clean-up is is reduced to almost nothing. Paint, for example, can be assigned to one table in the home. When it’s paint time, a dropcloth placed beneath the table and an oilcloth tablecloth on the table (unless it’s a melamine top table, in which case it’s good to go), takes care of any messes they can make!
    Lego’s? I had a Toy Room. Things like lego’s and erector sets could be played with to their hearts content in the Toy Room.
    Musical instruments? Of course they start out sounding like cats having pins stuck in them, but they get better!
    You have to let children be children. That means, often, being uncomfortable as parents for short periods of time. But children are only children for short periods of time, then they’re grown up and gone and and you don’t want to be left with the feeling that you’ve short-changed their childhood.
    So don’t.

  • Jubyduk

    I understand the love/hate relationship with Legos. More love than hate though, I sometimes think I had children just so I could shower them with all the cool Lego kits I didn’t have when I was a kid…. I now play with the Legos more than my kids do.

  • Jackie

    Hahahaha stepping on a lego when you’re walking around barefoot is the worst!

  • Mr.Crow


  • Mr.Crow

    Holy crap, I didn’t know I could do that.

  • Cyn

    Mr. Crow.
    you can’t
    read the FAQ please. your comment was edited.

  • Bill

    When I was a kid, my uncle got me one of those firefighter hats with the noisy siren atop it from Radio Shack. My parents cursed his name for months!

  • Ravyn

    I used to have Legos. A huge box of them. My mom kept buying me more. Then my sister was born and my mom gave them all away because she was afraid my sis would eat them. I’d build little cities for my hot wheels to drive through. YAY Legos!

  • smurff

    deepthinker – bangers are part of the Guy Fawkes celebrations they have every year on November the 5th. In my country the skyrockets cathran wheels and sparklers are allowed.

    The bangers or crackers as they are called here, have got very big and powerful over the last 3 – 4 years, you put a match to the wick and toss it away, a big bang follows.

    As I mentioned in a earlier comment it is very stressful to pets.

  • Taranis

    the discriptions in these were histerical.

  • Ash

    Ahhh I used to LOVE play doh

    And Lego’s do freaking hurt when you stand on them

  • Biccy

    Our daughter has (or had) ALL of these at some stage. God bless you for bringing much needed attention to the anguish that they cause!

  • BrotherMan

    Thanks for the list, lifeschool! It is odd to see this one posted because it was just yesterday where I was revisiting the first Top 10 Toys Parents Dread list and reading back through all of the hilarious comments. I can’t wait to read the comments on this one!

  • Mom424

    My kids had all of these things but the bangers – didn’t stop then though, when they got a little older they had no trouble finding things to blow up.

    Although I wouldn’t deny my kids any of these things, and for that matter no parent would, it in no way contradicts any of the points made by Lifeschool. The pain of lego underfoot cannot be underestimated nor the tendency of play-doh to become one with the carpet.

    Excellent list.

  • 48. Mom424:…the tendency of play-doh to become one with the carpet.
    Ah ha! I always had hardwood and/or tile floors. Problems with carpet never occurred to me (it never had to).

  • christy

    Kids Karaoke Machines! My 6 year old cousin would sing with the same 3 stupid Hannah Montana songs over and over. Horrible.

  • gezzanater

    OK, here’s a toy you forgot, Beanie Kids. I have 2 kids that love Beanie Kids and at last count they were heading somewhere up to about 50 between them.
    Even as early as yesterday, my daughter came home from the market with Winky Monster beanie Kid or something and she has informed that she wants to go back and get the Elf Beanie Kid.
    Be Warned, don’t let your kids get into Beanie Kids, they multiple.

  • Profeh

    It’s been a while since I laughed out loud at something online, barring videos! The list items are on-target, and the descriptions are absolutely hilarious. Oh, and I just have to mention:

    “You learn the dark side of Legos the day you step on a rogue piece barefoot.”

    This statement is beautiful, just beatiful! Thanks for the list, I love it.

  • Jessnz

    Chatter Rings!!I don’t know how popular they were in other countries but in NZ they were massive when i was at primary and intermediate. i can remember the constant noise of metal on metal, they used to drive my parents nuts!

  • Miss Destiny

    If your kid is too young/stupid to know better than to eat Legos, then maybe you shouldn’t buy them for him/her. Otherwise, it is a pain finding them EVERYWHERE, lol. But I loved playing with them as a kid. We used to have Lego Demolition Derby parties at my uncle’s where we’d build Lego cars and smash them together, to see whose car would last the longest. I never won but I always had a blast with my family. :)

  • Mr.Crow

    Lego’s are the best childrens toy ever made. Finding them everywhere is a small price to pay for what your child will get out of it. I loved them and wouldn’t be the same person without them. Never avoid Legos, EVER. At least, that’s what I say.

  • Blitzen

    I think pets should be on this list somewhere. People should never give pets to other people’s children!

    Comment #14, the problem with most of these toys is they are either very loud, or they have small parts that get scattered all over the house, later to be stepped on, sat on, or ingested by the family pet. I’m 39, and my parents still find the odd light-brite peg in their basement.

  • Palo

    I love legos, despite my parents never allowing any in the house…or possibly because we never had any :)

    As for the musical instruments, they are pretty annoying when the child starts learning them, but after approx. 5-10 years of fairly hard work it might even pay off ;)

  • Meg

    I think Duplos can be a substitute for Legos.

  • zubair kaka

    world class list….i love the sarcasm!

  • krchuk

    Lego’s are great, but try extracting a tiny piece from the vacuum cleaner when you accidentally swallow one up and the kid’s seen it, and demands it back! Gross. :(

  • Precision

    I agree completely with this list…parents need to avoid all these shiny fun playthings and buy their kids more demure gifts like lumps of coal and potato sacks ;)

    Come on fun police, let the children play! Being a kid is awesome- sure it might be annoying at times for the parents, but then there’s a plethora of adult activities that kids get dragged along to where they’re expected to behave and act like…well, adults :P

  • arkz

    hate to say it, ok maybe not hate but im in college and still mess with my old legos

  • Dustfinger

    What’s wrong with Legos?! Legos are the best thing you could ever give your kid!!

  • Kittykat73

    The comments in the actual lists were the funniest I’ve read in ages on here. Had me chuckling. Well done lifeschool!

  • Ashleigh

    No Easy Bake Oven?!

  • Jenna_Bug

    I think a lot of toys on here are great! I have no idea why parents would dread most of these…hmmm….

  • Amanda

    This list could also be subtitled “Top Toys that can be shoved up nasal passages”.

    Because I know of Play Doh, Lego, and paint making it into certain childhood orifices.

    • Name

      I think Linkon logs belong on that list. My younger brother used to shove linkin logs up his nose when he was like three or four of course they weren’t his linkin logs and my none of us wanted to play with them after that. I

  • legos are so much fun

  • 67. Amanda:…“Top Toys that can be shoved up nasal passages”….
    lol! lol! lol!
    Oh, Amanda! You just reminded me of one of the funniest incidents I ran into raising my children.
    My kids had this big Lionel train set, with all kinds of special cars including one that was an “ore carrier”. It was an open topped box car and you stopped it beneath a tower which held the “ore” (gold colored beads, about the size of blueberries). When you threw a switch, the “ore” funneled down from the tower into the boxcar.
    Great so far, right?
    Well, my son and his little sister were 3 1/2 and 2 1/2. Perfect ages for stuffing things into orifices, mommy had the flu and daddy was supposed to be watching the kids but was, instead, watching a football game.
    My son comes into my room, where I am so sick I can barely focus on him.
    “Mommy”, he says proudly,”I have gold up my nose!”
    I grabbed his head and turned it around, and yep, way, way, way up there I could see the bottom of a bit of bead.
    “Go get your dad”, I said, in as gruff a voice as I could muster.
    At that moment, the little one come bounding in, all smiles.
    “I have gold up my nose, too!”
    Another look. Sure enough, this kid had beads up both nostrils.
    Dad took them to the ER where they swabbed the inside of their nares with liquid cocaine, and removed the beads.
    Next day, I’m feeling a tiny bit better. Dad has to go to work. Just about mid-morning my son comes into the kitchen, where I’m making tea.
    “I have gold up my nose”, he says.
    “Oh no your not getting away with that two days in a row”, I say. Where upon I take the kid, toss a handful of powdered pepper in his face, and he sneezed that bead half way across the room!

  • Siberia

    I was expecting to see BB gun on this list somewhere but I guess they aren’t always bad, It is the ultimate test of your childs responsibility and character.

    I remember getting mine on my 10th christmas as did my friends that year on some awesome joint plan by all our dads, (except for one who was older and already had one but always left it out of our gunfights to keep it equal) and we were all big john wayne fanboys then.

    So on December 26th of 1957 the great showdown took place in the woods about a mile from our houses. We had been playing with guns that shot rubber pellets at a fairly high speed for quite some time so we figured that the BB guns couldn’t hurt much worse than that…But we were very wrong. They went right through our clothes and left nice puncture wounds on the skin! So we shot eachother full of holes until we couldn’t take it anymore. Needless to say after getting our fill of seeing what they could do we were all alot more careful from then on, no animals were ever shot and whenever we disobeyed our parents rules and shot them indoors we were exremely careful, which in turn helped us develop near-perfect aim. And yes we still shot eachother after that and well into our late teenage years, but nobody ever got any serious injury as long as you don’t count the few times when somebody “accidentily” overpumped and got a steel ball drilled 1/2 an inch into someone elses butt cheek and we had to use one of those snake venom extracters to get it out…

    Times seem to have changed though and parents don’t go for this sort of thing anymore, it’s a shame because death by choking on cheap plastic crap has always been much more common than death by projectile.

  • astraya

    A kid’s karaoke machine up a nasal passage?

  • pinkdustcrisp

    paint and musical instruments are bad toys? this is why everyone is completely brain dead

  • Jenna_Bug

    pinkdustcrisp: I completely agree with you. Crappy list.

  • CRSN

    The 2 poster above obviously dont have kids, thank god.

  • Kikishua

    I do feel rather guilty about some of the presents I have given in the past to small-people-to-whom-I-am-related. I did learn my lesson eventually though – now I stick to books.

  • Wildlifeman

    I love the smell of Play Doh

  • xdr

    Actually, to clean up stickers use some brake cleaner fluid.
    Very effective

  • Muttley

    I heartily maintain – as a parent (and now a grandparent) that THE most dreaded gift is the “construct-it-yourself-swing/slide-set” generally given to children by spiteful, “the wheel must turn” grandparents who had this form of Mediaeval torture inflicted upon THEM when they first had children by well-meaning parents of their own, by well-meaning aunts/uncles – – – or perversely, by THEMSELVES.

    No toy in the known universe has the innate power to create an “instant divorce scenario” like one of these tubular-steel-construction devices, which are a hideous combination of Lego, Meccano and The Rack all rolled into one – it’s even possible that this item could easily top the list of the “Ten Most Heinous Torture Devices in History”.
    Generally, the “gift” is handed over with an evil smirk by “old-hands” who are patently aware of the torture to come and who “but the children will love it” and then sit around and callously watch the young father attempt to read BAD construction directions written in Swahili and with some generic tools which twist when used and inevitably a rod/pole/bolt/nut/washer etc that is either in excess, missing, or refuses to line up without the judicious application of a 5-pound “Mashie Hammer” – the Divorce-point occurring when, as the victim’s temper has reached “absolute boiling point” from frustration the wife says “But darling shouldn’t this go there……?” Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghh!!!!!

    I STILL have nightmares and shudder whenever I see one of these appallingly malevolent constructions lurking in a back yard – thus far I have vigorously resisted my wife’s attempts to foist one off one our daughter foe HER partner to go insane over – – – htey have enough on their plate as it is!

  • Peri

    I play with Legos, wooden blocks and Potato Head people every Sunday in my Sunday School class…yeah, they’re annoying, but I make the kids clean up the mess so I don’t have to!

  • Morogh

    Hey! I was with 100% up until Lego. Yes, the problems you describe exist, but the benefits outweigh a little care and cleanup. The other toys, now they have no benefits. Well, I guess there is a very slim chance a kid could actually develop a true interest in music.

    THE most annoying gift to unleash on parents you feel need punishing is not drums or any noisemakers. Those can be “accidentally” lost or broken when the kid is asleep. No, the most devastating gift is a “Big Book of Jokes & Riddles”, or “Elephant Jokes”. Nothing puts a smile on an adult’s face like being peppered with humour that was antique in their grandparents’ time.

  • PT

    I was delighted to see #9 Bangers on the list. I haven’t thought of Bangers in years and the picture is exactly as I remember them the I saw the quote “Popular in the 1950’s and 60’s” Damn!!! When did I get so old?

  • joebecca

    there is no feeling quite like stepping on a lego….barefooted.

    i’ve actually INVENTED swear words for that occasion!

  • Bento

    Lego’s ruled still have a huge tub of them

  • JayArr

    OH DEAR GOD! I can’t believe the top two!! I grew up with Legos and Play Dough… my kids too. Only rule to remember about the dough is keep it in the kitchen (or dining if linoleum floored). The toys I always dreaded were the noise making junk that always needed batteries… Ever hear Elmo when his batteries were low? The sounds of demo-gorgon emanating from the baby’s room were tooooo much!

    For those of you wondering what is great for toddlers and such, go with Duplo blocks (the chunkier version of Legos) – easy to play with and to pick up. Also, the ‘little peoples’ type toys are great.

    Never buy noise making toys for the children of relatives and friends, or you will be getting the same (or worse) treatment from them next year… mark my words! ;)

  • Alex

    those swears used when i step on a peice of lego are far worse than used when one’s finger is cut off by a large bread knife. Also, a reason to banish play makeup is that it is very tasty. As for the 12 year old with a violin, i used to be in strings at that age and we didn’t sound half bad.

  • lifeschool

    Ahh, the days of innocence….

    I’m Lifeschool – the maker of this list. I was in a very sarcastic mood when I wrote it, so I’m glad that went down very well. Sometimes, you wonder whither the Political Correctness crowd will step in and just BOOO you off. ;)

    For the record:
    A – yes I have a 4 year old, and I’ve suffered the pain of most of these, essentially the noise makers. :)
    B – All of these toys are obviously on the market as fun creations so don’t take my jokes to heart.
    C – I used to have a Lego bucket until last year when it got passed down to the next generation. I am 32, and I still have a go at making a submarine before it got handed over.
    D – Crazy Glue was originally on the list but didn’t make the top 10.
    E – yes I have swallowed Play Doh and lego.

    I have enjoyed your comments – and most of al those about swearing at lego. If anybody wants to read a very funny reply in the same sarcastic vain, try number 78.

    Perhaps I’ll knock out another similar list for kids games i.e. marbles, conkers…? Thanks again for all your comments.

  • willbear

    Great list. My daughter got #8 last year, I couldn’t wait to throw it out.

  • LizzyPop

    Lol Legos and (eventually) Play-doh were not allowed at my house growing up because me and my brother left them all over the house….ahh good times good times

  • Siberia

    The bottom line is that whatever you ge a kid or don’t get a kid they will still make messes frequently and annoy the hell out of everyone. If you ban all 10 of these toys it won’t matter. The bangers on this list have been banned for ages but boys (and maybe some girls) will always be finding things to blow up. Drums? Anything you see can be used as a drum for a bored kid.

    Oh and anyone on here who complains about play doh has obviously had a child who plays with mud, and be lucky because a little dirt and water isn’t exactly something you can put a househole ban on!

  • ana

    lol lego’s..
    I would make my dad do the buildings on the cover and when he was done I would wreck it lol omg

    Then me & my sisters would build “twin towers” and wreck it again and again. It went everywhere and it hurted on the feet. Oh gosh and after that my mom & dad never bought anymore lego

  • BadAuntie

    Hilarious, made the mistake of reading at work and laughing out loud tho.

    I was bad auntie at first because I sent bake sets, water works construction kits (very cool), ant farms and magic kits. Now I understand it is just my job to send books, and not to redact the sexist parts.

    78 is for sure right on.

  • Blitzen

    #80 Moragh: You are pure evil! Yes, the dreaded ‘Elephant Jokes” is the worst thing you can do to a parent. ;)

  • bigski

    All these toys would be considered outside toys if my kids had them !

  • sir fuxalot

    my parents couldn’t afford legos, i played with match boxes, and paper cutouts of GIjoes that i drew :( but it was ok.

  • Raz

    PhuKkk this list
    My kids will get what I GIVE THEM, i wont dread shit, coz no child can demand shit from its maker…


  • Callie

    lol…Raz you don’t have kids yet, do you?

  • Ha… I’ve had my fair share of all of these in my life… Oh, the memories of the talking baby doll whose batteries were on the way out, or one the ‘learning’ toys my grandma had graced my little sister with. Legos crushed underfoot or lost for the ages under the couch. All the hours of being subjected to games of house with a demanding three-year-old next to her play kitchen.

    All that said, I’d never deny a child any of these toys (except them bangers). They are all creatively stimulating and are presicely how I developed my artistic interests. Toys that I would consider dreadful, however, are Barbie and her ilk. Those just inspire little girls to grow into aspiring bulimic tramps.

    No kids here as of yet, I think dealing with my cat and dog is good enough for now. I can still torture my mom by sending toys back for my little sister, though!

  • Nikki

    i used to love playing with lego lol until i stood on one.i was in pain, hopping around, clutching my foot in pain until i stood on one again with my other foot.i swore to never have anything to do with them 16 now, think im doing pretty well in avoiding them :D

  • madcap

    Thats the spirit! :D

  • ajaxkid

    I still love an excuse to play with the legos… they are ADDICTING. I can think of nothing more enjoyable than sifting through boxes of Legos, trying to find that “right” piece and my kids sifting away right along side me.
    Clay, paint, make-up… all these toys are welcome (no bangers, though, hehe hehe).
    If the kids plastered stickers all over, oh well. They’re kids and I think it’s funny.
    I enjoyed hearing the kids play their instruments and singing… something I could never do without being made fun of.
    My kids are creative and I think I owe it to my not “freaking out” about a little paint here and there. Some kids are not allowed to touch so much as a marker inside the house and I think that’s sad.
    Play away, children, play away! : )

  • Cernunnos

    i love lego, lego is awesome! its a form of art, in the right hands, though.

    i have stepped on many-a pieces of lego, none have broken?

  • Nicosia

    I cringe every time my 5 year old daughter gets stickers…. They end up on the walls, the toys, the cats, the baby….

  • Denzell

    I predicted that toy make-up would be here. Wait, how about the new Girl Crush (featuring nail polish and hair dye) toys I see in Nickelodeon so often? That jingle that goes with the ad annoys me too. >:

  • Denzell

    Anyway, now I know why I was deprived of toys. I was only allowed to play on the street and watch children’s shows.

  • christiane

    I really enjoyed this list. You have a great sense of humor,lifeschool.
    My children are teenagers now but I remember they had a go at most of the items on your list, except the bangers and karaoke machine. Yes, I admit it drove me nuts sometimes but in the end it was all good fun and the memories are priceless.

  • These lists make me laugh. Thanks for another great list.

  • Denzell

    #76. Wildlifeman – November 10th, 2008 at 3:45 am

    I love the smell of Play Doh

    ~me too!

  • Marley

    This list is terrible. My twelve year old can play Jimmy Page’s guitar solo’s, which certainly do not sound bad.

  • Parker

    easy bake. my parents HATED that thing.. because i made them eat whatever i made.

  • yc

    interesting list if you need ideas for giftd

  • momo

    Legos where my favorite thing to play with when I was little.

  • kietombotkie

    hahahaha i remeber when i was five and my mom gave me paint the dog was a goopy colourful mess of paint and the walls were covered never got to use paint again till i was 10….ajaxkid you must be very very positive i go crazy when i hear my 4 year old cousin blow on a piece of plasic junk instrument and hate when force to eat her gloopy, chuncky cake from that dreaded easy bake…

  • cassandra

    my mom used to make me play doh. silly putty should be on here because once it’s in the carpet it will be there forever. so if you are renting, don’t buy your kid silly putty.

  • deviantmiss

    @BA88 why do you have to stop playing with lego? silly putty is more or less the same stuff as play doh. and what about glitter? i made the mistake of giving some to my then 4yr old daughter and we ended up with a glittery cat and carpet and beds and everywhere else and kept finding it for months and i would NEVER buy play make up.

    • Kelli

      My mom won’t let me have glitter in the house even now at 16 because of an incident with glitter when I was litttle. Even after multiple vacumings… there was glitter in the carpet even months later!

  • Bobby

    i remember bangers me and my mates used to throw them into miss dales (a mean old ladies) garden when she was out there garedening . it would give her such a fright lol

  • BloodSuckingLeech

    Play doh is the bane of any mother. Try getting the crap out of the carpet!

  • 116. BloodSuckingLeech: Play doh is the bane of any mother. Try getting the crap out of the carpet!
    Actually, carpet is the bane of any mother! When my children were young I would not have carpet in the house. Every room was either hardwood or ceramic tile. Everything cleaned up with a wet cloth.
    I think I was the only sane mother on the block.

  • BloodSuckingLeech

    Segue, I stand corrected! You made me laugh, thank you.

  • 118. BloodSuckingLeech: Segue, I stand corrected! You made me laugh, thank you.

  • nuriko

    I miss playin with Lego

  • deeeziner

    The assassin that will put a stepped upon Lego to shame…

    The metal jack–you know, good, old fashioned rubber ball and jacks. Onsies..twosies..etc.

    All tiny and pointy and metaly–they are nothing but ninjas lying wait.

    After a full foot attack, you call in the legos for relief.

  • tinkerbel

    it has just taken me 20 mins to read TOYS PARENTS DREAD. at number #7 i was crying with laughter..i have 6 grandchildren ages from 1 to 9 so i can understand the funny side…still laughing….DELISTIOUS

  • Minty

    By age 12, kids can play instruments well, kthanxbai. =/

    • Kelli

      I started playing flute at 12 smart parents would get their kids a real instrument insted of those cheap plastic ones.

  • rinne

    altho i actually sincerely love legos – i hate stepping on them.

  • GTT

    @deeeziner (121):

    JACKS! I loved playing those as a kid! And yes, they hurt way worse than any dumn Lego! :)

  • norkio

    @78, I have a similar item that almost inspired divorce. A child’s kitchen set up. It has a microwave, oven and sink, and comes in about 100 pieces. It took no less than 3 hours to build the night before her birthday, and we finally gave up on this one part that was wedged into a space between the sink and the faucet, a space so small, no adult hand or tool could ever fit in there to fasten it. Needless to say, we are living without it just fine and all the play cupcakes, plates, silverware and vegetables are in fact scattered through the house, but the “dinners” we get are worth it!

  • Steve

    It’s bloody LEGO singular and plural. There is no ‘S’ on the end, yanks!

  • Nightfire

    Those little educational toys with the generic voices.. Ugh.. hate those things. My cousins 3 year old daughter, and 1 year old son have some of those. Personally, I think a far better alternative is the parent sitting down and teaching their children those things instead of the voice in the box. Good time to bond with their children, and teach them things, and start communication early on, that way when their kids get older, they will talk to their parents about things.

    Some of my best memories growing up were from my dad teaching me to put puzzles together, and my mom teaching me to read, and spell, and playing board games together.

  • Nightfire

    And Someone earlier mentioned barbies.. I think worse then the barbie is a bratz doll.

  • mintzy

    @Nightfire (129): I agree.

  • natapillar

    i have 3 daughters,and so far we have a room full of barbies,bratz,lego(pink of course),kareoke players,a leap pad(far too noisy),toy laptops,toy phones,shakers,teddies,a vibrating pig which oinks and plays music,DVDs(mainly the unbearable ones),a giant rubber duck,baby walker,play make up,kids hair ties….. the list is endless.

    Lego is the main offender. i have forgotten how many times i have gone in their room in the morning,half asleep ,and trodden on a piece of lego which has camouflaged itself to match the flooring! i am grateful that when the kids leave home so does the Lego!

  • Rowena

    Musical instruments are wonderful! After a point, at least.
    But if you’re looking for an instrument that sounds nice even under a two-year-old’s hands, try the harp – it is incapable of sounding horrible.
    I agree with 129, also. Those heads!

  • Ev

    I wish people would stop calling them ‘Legos’ in the comments, its Lego. Lego is the plural and the singular. You don’t say Sheeps, do you.

  • jlhuff

    My brother was a genius with Legos. (Sorry but I have grown up doing the Lego plural this way and it’s hard to stop) He could build the things that were on the box and stuff that was so much better. I used to have an Easy Bake oven, I have cousins that have Easy Bake ovens, and now my nieces have an Easy Bake oven, it’s been around a long time and hasn’t stopped being popular yet. Play Doh, we always managed to find hard, dry Play-Doh long after we had played with it last. And Jacks hurt worse than anything to step on! I had most of these toys or else I have relatives that had them and they are fun for the kids but drive the adults up the wall. My cousin had one of those kids karaoke machines right at the time when Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby was huge and he used it to repeatedly sing that song until he drove you batshit crazy. And he was like 2 so he couldn’t even say it right. I was like 13 at the time so his big sis that was 11 and I would take the batteries out of the karaoke machine and hide them when he started drive us and the grown ups nuts. My cousin who is 15 now, had a recorder when she was younger and would just blow it to be obnoxious and make as much noise as she possibly could. She never actually tried to play songs with it, just blew into it with her fingers on it so it would make the shrillest most obnoxious sound ever but not necessarily playing an actual note. I hated it and tried to hide it from her if I could. I can see how parents could hate these toys, either because they’re obnoxious or because cleaning up after them sucks, or they are extremely painful to step on. But I know that they are very fun for kids to play with and stimulate their creativity (except the bangers, anyway)But the list was funny and brought back some great childhood memories.

  • acegalz

    I had LEGO too!!!

    o wait.. i don't recall my parent buying LEGO for me.. so where my LEGO come from?


  • Csasow

    I have invented words simply from stepping on legos

  • our jo

    You missed out Tamagotchi!
    Without a doubt one of the most annoying toys of all time. Whichever sick bastard thought of these should be shot.
    They are fine on weekends I guess, but come bedtime they beep and need food (wtf) or to be played with (wtf again).. and need to be kept alive?! Whoever imagined a toy that demands to be played with or it will die? LOL
    Are toymakers insane?
    My sons Tamagotchi ended up in Tamagotchi heaven via the washing machine, after his totally sane teacher banned the bloody things from class and his totally insane mother got sick of keeping the sodding thing alive. And good riddance, I say.

    • Kelli

      I threw my brothers tomagavhi at the wall because it annoyed the sh.. out of me and got grounded, I think it was a fair trade, that thing beeeped all day and all night and kept me awake while he was sleeping soundly in his bed ignoring it. Well lets just say I solved that problem.

  • Brianna

    Sorry if this seems like a stupid comment,but number 3 is just nonsense!

    There are many,many children who can actually play an instrument and make beautiful music,sure,maybe not a four year old but the examples of a 9 year old blowing into a flute or recorder or a 12 year old playing a violin?

    If the examples were opposite (in other words,a 12 year old blowing into a flute and a 9 year old playing a violin) I would have flipped! Because I play the flute,and I’m 12. And it’s definitly not a horrible sound. At my school we actually get taught music,we have bands,and our music program is the best in the city.

    With that said,I don’t think it’s right to say musical intruments are something that a parent would dread. Because many children can actually play instruments beautifully,regardless of age.

  • I hated that my parents would never let me play with my toy-make up as a kid. Now I get it.

  • Rob

    You missed out Magic Sand. My kids got some when they were little and were more excited about that than anything else. The damned stuff went everywhere, clogged up the sink, kept reappearing as if by magic. In the end in went in the trash hidden below lots of nasty sticky things to stop the girls digging to root it back out!

  • K. P.

    awww… I love lego! This list made a laugh a couple of times because of its…uhmm.. truthfulness. Anyway, not a parent.

  • Kempster

    Hey I LOVE lego I loved playing with it when I was small and a few years on I still love it and I’m 14

  • Numbers 3, 2 and 1 are very unfair. A 12 year old playing the violin does not sound that bad, thank you very much. Playdoh is only bad when parents are stupid enough to leave their kids alone with it, and Lego is fine if you make sure the kids actually tidy it away, unlike some people…

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