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Top 10 Patron Saints of Random Things

The Roman Catholics have thought of everything. Who knew there were three patron saints of librarians, much less one? (FYI, they are Catherine of Alexandria, Jerome, and Lawrence of Rome.) Additionally, many saints hold multiple titles. Catherine of Alexandria, for instance, is the patron saint of a lengthy roster of people, places, and things that includes girls, barristers, knife grinders, archivists, and the University of Paris. But Catherine, revered as a Great Martyr, would probably have gladly foregone a couple of these honors in return for keeping her head attached to her body. No matter what your profession, marital status, or mental state, a multitude of saints are up there awaiting your prayers. As an added bonus, you can pencil scads of feast days into your calendar, making each year a nonstop commemoration of two millennia of miracles.

10

Against Twitching

Saint-Pope Cornelius

Pope Saint Cornelius (d. 253) Feast Day: September 16

Cornelius was dragged kicking and screaming to the papacy in 251. He knew it was a death sentence, since the Romans had stepped up their persecution of the Christians and any pope was sure to meet a swift demise. Pope Cornelius enjoyed a relatively lengthy tenure, not being martyred for two whole years before his neck met with the sharp end of an ax. He is represented with a battle horn, and how that leads to being the patron against twitching, earaches, and epilepsy is left to the venerator’s imagination.

9

Greeting Card Manufacturers

Stvalentine2

Saint Valentine of Rome, of course. (d. 269) Feast Day: February 14.

Valentine was a priest and a physician who aided martyrs in prison, which got him beaten and beheaded in 269. In addition to being the patron saint of love and happy marriages, Valentine is also the patron saint of beekeepers and against epilepsy and plague. He is often represented with birds and roses.


8

Arms Dealers

Agnatalia

Saint Adrian of Nicomedia (d. 304) Feast Day: September 8

Adrian started his career as one of the prestigious Herculian Guard of the Roman Emperor Maximinus. Having a front-row seat to the persecution of Christians, Adrian came to admire their faith and joined their fledgling movement. Before he could even be baptized, however, he was arrested, tortured, chopped to pieces, and burned. His faithful wife salvaged his lifeless hand from the bonfire.

7

Iran

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Saint Maruthas (d. 415) Feast Day: December 4

As the bishop of Maiferkat, which was then in Mesopotamia and is now in Turkey, Maruthas collected the stories and relics of Persian and Syrian martyrs. He was influential because of his writings, which include Acts of the Persian Martyrs (those who were put to death under Shapur II) and History of the Council of Nicaea. His dedication to negotiating peace between the East Roman Empire and the Persian Empire revealed his deft social and organizational skills.

6

Disappointing Children

Clotilde

Saint Clotilde (b. 475 – d. 545) Feast Day: June 3

Clotilde was born a princess, the daughter of the king of Burgundy. After her father’s untimely demise while she was still a teenager, she became King Clovis’ second wife as a teenager. Her life was full of intrigue, beginning with the murder of her father and continuing through the murder of two of her grandsons by her son. Her great success was converting King Clovis to Christianity; apart from that she was never able to negotiate a peace between her sons, who squabbled endlessly over the kingdom after the death of their father. To get away from their nonsense she moved to Tours, France, and spent the rest of her life caring for the poor and sick. She died and was buried at the Abbey of St. Genevieve in Paris, where her relics remain.

5

Gas Station Workers

Sainte14

Saint Eligius (588 – 660) Feast Day: December 1

Elgius was a talented metalsmith. He was apprenticed to the master of the mint at Limoges, France, and became master of the mint under King Clotaire II in Paris. He constantly gave alms to the poor and lived a pious life. In 641 he became a bishop in Flanders, built the basilica of Saint Paul, and had a penchant for designing reliquaries and discovering many relics. He is a saint for all things related to metalsmithing and horses, due to his deft touch with them (he supposedly cut off a horse’s leg in order to re-shod the hoof and then reattached it to said horse). When horses were replaced by automobiles, and thus stables with gas stations, he became the saint associated with gas station workers.


4

Breastfeeding

Stgiles1

Saint Giles (d. 710) Feast Day: September 1

The patron of breastfeeding is a dude. Giles was born wealthy, gave his money to the poor, and became a miracle worker. To discourage followers, he retreated to a cave in bucolic southern France. The cave opening was covered by a thorny bush, which made it difficult for Giles to come and go, so God gave him a deer so he could drink her milk. After a series of events in which the king came a-huntin’ and tried to shoot the deer with an arrow, missed, and hit Giles instead, the hermit’s hidey hole was discovered and his fans descended en masse. The king built Giles a monastery nearby, and the miracle worker moved in. Because of his crippling arrow injury, the monastery became a destination for cripples and beggars, who were often one and the same.

3

Against Rabies

St-Hubert

Saint Hubert of Liege (c. 656 – 727) Feast Day: November 3.

Hubert was the first born son of Bertrand, Duke of Aquitaine. He became a widower when he was young and gave up his wealth and title and studied for the priesthood. He is associated with the hunt, and thus he is patron saint of hunting dogs, especially bloodhounds, and the patron saint against rabies and dog bites. He is often represented with a stag’s head and a couple of hounds.


2

In-Law Problems

L-1

Saint Jane Frances de Chantal (1572—1641) Feast Day: December 12 or August 12

Jeanne was raised by a single dad, her mother having died shortly after her birth. She married a baron at age 20 and had four children. A hunting accident left her a widow at age 28. The young mother was forced to live with her unbearable father-in-law, and to get away from him she spent as much time in prayer as possible. She became a follower of Francis de Sales in 1604 and founded the Order of the Visitation of Our Lady, which opened 69 convents in her lifetime for women who were not healthy or young enough to join other orders.

1

Test Takers

9 18 Joseph Cupertino4

Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603 — 1663) Feast Day: September 18

Joseph began having ecstatic visions at age eight, and their frequency got in the way of his having a normal upbringing – as did the fact that he had a learning disability, which affected how he studied for his theology exams at the friary. He was able to absorb only small nuggets of information at a time, and then he would pray that he would be tested on only that material. Apart from this, he was known for making quite a scene wherever he went, due to the number of triggers for his visions, which would leave him gaping in dumbfounded wonderment for lengthy periods of time. To limit his disruptive tendencies in the highly regimented friary, he was sequestered for decades in his room at the Capuchin monastery in Cupertino, Italy. They even drew the attention of the Inquisition, but nothing could rouse him from his strict faith. In addition to examinations, he is also the patron saint of aviators, due to his habit of levitating during prayer. For this unusual talent, he earned the nickname “The Flying Saint.”



  • David Hopkins

    Patron Saint of Stanley Park.

  • odaltyr

    Christianity, the polytheistic monotheism. :)

    • Armin Tamzarian

      According to dogma, the worshipping of God and saints is different, so they’re still monotheistic.

      If you overlook the whole “God is three dudes” trinitarian thing, of course.

      • odaltyr

        Kind of how in pagan religions one prays a certain way to the main Pantheon, and another way to the protective forest or house spirits ;)

        I’m joking, I know the dogma defends the monotheism in different ways depending on the church, but I still feel that Christianity has a very polytheistic background. The other Abrahamic religions do as well, with all these demons and angels running about. The Abrahamic God sounds more like the main deity (like Zeus, Odin, Ra…) with a plethora of minor deities, demigods and superhuman heroes.

        • Armin Tamzarian

          As far as I know there is no theoretical difference in worship between major and minor deities in the Roman or Greek pantheons. Gods were worshipped differently, but that was usually according to their attributes, not according to some theoretical division

          For Catholics, it’s not about the physical deeds as much as about the way they feel about their saints and God. Just like one has a different kind of love for a parent, for a friend and for a life partner, according to Catholic dogma there is a different kind of reverence for saints, Mary and Jesus.
          I think something could be said for that theory, but it still feels like a rather flimsy way out of polytheism.

          That Christianity has had strong influences by polytheism, should come as no surprise. It came to fruition in the firmly polytheistic Roman world, and many of their main early theoreticians were converted polytheists or were trained in the predominantly polytheistic philosophical schools.

        • Ni99a

          I liked how you trolled the Christians and then start a new paragraph by saying you are sorry.

        • Christians only worship one God and this one God has three persons… We don’t worship Mary nor the saints… We just honor them for they have set a good example to all the living christians here on earth… enlightened???

    • Bloo4

      Saints are just for catholics, who aren’t real christians at all..

      • Nobody

        They’re actually the first Christians

        • U so stupid

          Catholics are not the first christians. Please study your history. The word “Christian” means little Christ and was given to the church members at Antioch. Those who first emulated the life of Jesus were non-denominational.
          It comes down to who has the closest doctrine tot he Bible. And it sure aint the catholic cult. I am still waiting for a catholic to show me the rosary in the Bible. Baptisim by sprinkling, saint worship, and celibacy. OH YAH, how is that working, come here little boy, come to my confession booth……

          • John son of John

            Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. (Luke 1:28)

            Blessed art thou among women (Luke 1:41-42a,Luke 1:48),

            Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus (Luke 1:42b)

            Holy Mary, Mother of God (Luke 1:43)

            Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen (Luke 2:35, John 2:3-5)

          • John son of John

            Jesus is at the Centre – Here are the Main Prayers of the Rosary

            In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost

            I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sin, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. (Said before the Rosary)

            Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. (Said before each decade)

            Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. (Said after each decade)

            O my Jesus, forgive us of our sins. Save us from the fires of hell. Lead all souls into heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy. (Said after each decade)

            Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. (Luke 1:28)

            Blessed art thou among women (Luke 1:41-42a,Luke 1:48),

            Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus (Luke 1:42b)

            Holy Mary, Mother of God (Luke 1:43)

            Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen (Luke 2:35, John 2:3-5)

        • The Heretic

          First Christians were Jews. Catholic Church as we know didnt exist until 4th century AD, by then Coptic & other Eastern churches were well established.

      • Mai

        Actually, Lutherans and Anglicans also has saints (most the same ones of the Catholics).

      • iruossim

        Catholics are very much Christian. We believe Jesus is God, we believe in the trinity…we just have some different sacraments. Communion is beautiful, and why not share your sins?

  • Moobile

    I think St Giles is actually the patron saint of beggars & cripples. St Agatha, who as part of her martyrdom had her breasts cut off and is often depicted carrying them on a platter, is patron saint of wet nurses & those with breast cancer, so I think she has the whole mammary angle covered. My favourite highly specialised saints are St Drogo, patron of cafe-owners, St Basil, patron of hospital adminstrators, & St Blaise, patron of bicycle messengers.

  • Colbz

    Very interesting list

  • Joe

    Saint Nicholas…also known as Santa Claus and the patron saint of prostitutes.

  • Gaz

    Come off it! More proof that religion is a bunch of made up nonsense. Who would have thought? If your religious stay religious. Just keep out of science and politics. Unless who want to answer questions like how old was this “virgin” mary and her husband joseph and how that is a good example for young women or how the value of pi ie 22/7 is not 3. Close but no cigar. The best things in the world = separation of church and state and debunking creationist “science”. Hahahaha. How bout dem dinosaurs eh! :-)

    • Borten

      If only we were all as enlightened as you. Oh well, back to my prayer mat.

    • Nobody

      If only you didn’t seem to come off as a..what was it…oh yeah, a jackass! People might actually consider what your saying. These people want to believe this and you can’t change that, religion gives people boundaries and morals to follow . And also religious people live longer… It’s on listverse.

      • God is Dead

        Doesn’t mean spit. What the Christians did throughout history should come back to them in the future. It’s only a matter of time before Christianity will become obsolete and another religion rise in its place. Unless of course people realize that deities are the imagination of humanity.

        • Nobody

          @”God is Dead” What means spit? Please I would like to know what spit means. And I wasn’t just talking about Christians, every religion has had members do some horrible atrocity in the name of god(s). And athiests aren’t exempt from doing sick crap “for the betterment of (insert cause here)” there’s Josef Stalin, Pol pot, Mao Zedong, Kim Jong-Un, Kim jong-il, Benito Mussolini etc… All with a death toll of about 81.5 million. Give or take a couple million.

          P.S: I really would like to learn about what spit means.

          • God is Dead

            Switch the p with H and what do you get?

        • Nobody

          I genuinely wanted to learn about spit not shit

          • God is Dead

            Tell it to the psychologist.

        • Nobody

          Interesting how this devolved from Religious beliefs and opinions…to bodily excretions.

          • Paradox

            Only ’cause he called your comment dung, but disguised it as saliva.

            Still weird.

  • st. blogball —– patron saint of lists —– feast date: 05 july

  • undaunted warrior 1

    Dont know much about this subject – but hey someone has to put lists together

    Thanks for the effort Kathy.

    • Ni99a

      The thanks was unnecessary. It makes you like you are scoring a date with her and we all know girls don’t like good guys.

    • New superstar

      Yeah, i agreed with you….. And that # 4 patron of breastfeeding is funny….. The 1st line—” the patron of breastfeeding is a dude” makes me lol about 5 min….. I find that line very funny…and ironic…..

    • Jasyl

      Definately the most beautiful wedidng photos I have ever seen!!! but how could they not be??? .Becky is truly a beautiful person, inside and out!!! Nabil and Becky you are a stunning couple and I wish you years of love and happiness!!! I can’t wait to see the rest of the photos!!!

  • ni99a

    And I, St.Ni99er is the Patron of Men With Big D0ngs.

    I give blessings to frustrated white wives and s3xually incompetent white male.

    • jerk

      …and curses latinos that s3xually violated him into matydom

      • Ni99a

        I sensed a cuckolded husband or son….

    • jjj

      In their dreams.

  • poul

    I think I should ask the help of saint joseph of cupertino hahaha

  • Paradox

    St. Paradox, the patron saint of smart dumb people.

  • My favorite is St. Judas Thadeus. He’s the patron saint of people who play the lottery and who, in general, are down on their luck

  • Someone

    Saint Lawrence is the patron saint of cooking because he was grilled to death.

  • Headmire

    Boring

    • joeyman

      Your mom is boring!

      • Ni99a

        Correction, I am boring through your mom with my protrusion.

      • Headmire

        How long did it take you to think of that genius? And for future reference I am English so I don’t have a mom I have a mum.

        • Ni99a

          Well, I mum your mom by boring her mouth with my protrusion.

          • Headmire

            is that the best you could come up with really?

          • what an idiot….probably just a little 12 year old wigger.

          • Inthan

            These Photos are beyond biutuefal, Becky and Nabil both look fantastic. You captured some pretty tender moments with children and adults both. This was such a special treat for those of us who were not able to be with Becky and Nabil on their special day thank you pictures are more biutuefal than the royal wedding!

  • I was really looking forward to this list but it was just blah.

  • Maggot

    How are patron saints determined? Is there one Patron Saint of Random Things who delegates more focused and specialized patronage to various random things by assigning them their own specific saints? And how does he decide who gets the plum assignments and who gets the stupid ones? “Well Saint So-and-so, ‘medicine’ is covered, but it appears there is no one patronizing excessive nose hair, so how about you take that one.”

  • skeeter1971

    The only thing worse than a Christian up on their soapbox, is an atheist up on theirs. It’s funny to me how atheists complain about how Christians try to force their beliefs on people, but athiests are just as bad. I would consider myself as agnostic, so, you know, blah blah blah….

  • Ownagecained

    Religion…..what a fantastic tool for brainwash and manipulation.

  • JulieDove4

    Who’s the Patron Saint of Wankers?

  • JulieDove4

    Up-date:

    WILLARD is the Patron Saint of Moron Wankers!

  • dinner at dahmers

    Is there a patron saint of premature ejaculation?

  • JulieDove4

    St John MyCANE er… HisCAIN, PS of PE, politically speaking. But, if u think about it, that man has no bone…he’s remarkably pliant with his anyhow stupid opinions and, don’t get me started about his political garbage! McCAIN, u’r one foot in the grave and the other on the banana peel! SHUT UP ALREADY, USELESS WANKER!

  • Godinasmith

    These are very good and Impressive List for the Random thing .
    http://makemuscles.weebly.com/

    • Pauly

      Fail spammer has failed.

  • thecalmone

    What a ridiculous religion is Roman Catholicism.

    • John son of John

      At least my religion was founded by Jesus the Christ

      And has never changed in 2000 years

      http://forums.catholic.com

      Shalom

      God bless

  • vanowensbody

    Great list

  • seektall

    life is too short to live with anyone that does not value or appreciate a good thing.Both Age and Height are not the Obstacles for SeeKing Love..Many Petite women are looking to date Taller & Bigger guys, mainly because most women will expect their men to be mature and protect them with long-term security. Vise versa, most men would expect their women to be beautiful and grace.~~~~?…-S_e_e_K_T_a_l_ l_.COM …?~~ is for thousands of Tall Big men and beautiful women, who understand that ambition, honnesy, and glamour are key elements of attraction. If you are ready for a new adventure, give them a try!

  • petet2112

    Saint Nicholas (aka Father Christmas, Santa Claus, etc.) IS the Patron Saint of PROSTITUTION !!………..Go Figure

  • petet2112

    PROST*TUTION

  • Snampy

    St Anthony-Patron Saint of Parking spaces!

  • John son of John

    Shalom

    I’m a catholic and I approve of this list : )

    http://www.forums.catholic.com

    http://www.newadvent.org

    God bless

  • Ziko

    I will be spending the evineng at a local Irish pub in Norwich CT. USA called the Harp and Dragon with Irish Fare and Guiness, Smithwicks Jamison etc. I usually atttend a local sons of st patrick dinner but can’t make it this year,