The deathbed can lead people to speak with great honesty and, in many cases, humor. This is a list of 20 last words by famous people.
1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.
Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
2. I can’t sleep
Said by: J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
3. I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Said by: Humphrey Bogart
4. I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
Said by: Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
5. I live!
Said by: Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
6. Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
Said by: Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
7. I am perplexed. Satan Get Out
Said by: Aleister Crowley – famous occultist
8. Now why did I do that?
Said by: General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
9. Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!
Said by: James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.
10. Bugger Bognor.
Said by: King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
11. It’s stopped.
Said by: Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.
12. LSD, 100 micrograms I.M.
Said by: Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
13. You have won, O Galilean
Said by: Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
14. No, you certainly can’t.
Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
15. I feel ill. Call the doctors.
Said by: Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
16. Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here
Said by: Nostradamus
17. Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!
Said by: Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
18. Put out the bloody cigarette!!
Said by: Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
19. Please don’t let me fall.
Said by: Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
20. Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Said by: Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
Technorati Tags: history, last words
"either these drapes go or i do…" (loosely)
-Oscar Wilde
i don't know if it's true or not
It wasn’t quoted properly in Paris, je t’aime. The real quote is ” My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”
Haha, great list. Enjoyed reading all of those.
kelsi: thanks – they are quite amusing
‘French Fries’! lol thats a good
mix: yeah – that is my favorite one.
Makes you kinda wonder what you’re going to say as you go.
“Excuse me sir. Would you remove your poodle from my belly button.?” “Moo. I like that word. Moo. Yeah.”
“Oh, you got me!”
Just something to think for you to think about.
Crimanon: I was going to mention that it gives us all cause to consider what our own last words will be. Hopefully something incredibly witty!
How about this : Great post …
Just kidding, still here.
Andre: funny man
What about: “Et Tu Brute”? Caesar’s famous last words.
Oscar Wilde’s last words.
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go.”
“I’ve had eighteen whiskeys. I think that’s the record.”
-Dylan Thomas
Oscar Wilde had alot to say I guess. Who knew he was such an interior decorator. “Alfred there’s something I need to tell you…I wanted the lamp over there….ugh.” Tacky, I know, But Funny.
asdf,
thank you. i knew it was something like that.
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-”—Maj. Gen. John Sedgwick, U.S. Army, just before being fatally shot at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, May 9, 1864.
“Wait a minute… “-Pope Alexander VI
“Don’t disturb my equation”-Archimedes
“I’m bored with it all.”-Winston Churchill
“Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.”- Del Close
“Lady, you shot me!”-Sam Cooke
“This is funny.”-Doc Holliday
Wow – thanks for all the additions! Oscar Wilde is one of the wittiest men to have lived.
by the way i love this site, it gives me something to do, my friend showed me this about a month ago and ive been hooked ever since, great job, keep it up
tjgrs: thanks
Spread the news!
Oscar Wilde’s last words,
“Either those curtains go, or I do”
In Australia, perhaps the most famous last words are those of bushranger (ie outlaw) Ned Kelly, who said “Such is life” before being hanged.
cb: I heard that phrase used a LOT in New Zealand – it must be an antipodean thing.
“Thomas Jefferson still lives.”
-John Adams
(On his death bed, not knowing Jefferson had died only a few hours earlier-July 4th, 1826. Adams was an US diplomat & politician (1735 – 1826))
Also kind of odd that both men who were key to US independence died on what is know now as independence day.
Annon: that is true – it is quite an interesting story.
“Kiss my ass” John Wayne Gacy Jr.American serial killer.
MrGreen: That guy had no remorse at all! There are quite a few interesting last words of killers – it will end up in a list of its own I think!
tjgrs says
“This is funny.”-Doc Holliday
This statement needs context. He said this as he was looking down at his bootless feet while lying in bed. He always figured he would die with his boots on.
craigl: thanks for adding that extra info
loved the stuff u post here!keep it up:-)
june: Thanks
“Don’t let it end like this, tell them I said something!”-Poncho Villa
Midian: hilarious.
“Die my dear doctor?”
“That’s the last thing I will do!”
Gladstone
Voltaire’s is the best, hands down.
“Either those drapes go or I do.”– Oscar Wilde
Paul Drago: That has been quite a popular one (starting from comment 9)
“Moose. Indian.” Henry David Thoreau
The ultimate last words, which should be on the list, are those of Terry Kath, from the band Chicago. His last words were “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded”, then he shot himself.
Also, I had heard that president Kennedy’s last word were “I’ve been shot” not “no you certainly can’t” though I don’t remember where i heard it and if it was a reliable source.
How could Kennedy of said anything in reference to being shot? First he was shot in the neck, then the head?
Kixie: that sounds like something that would be David Lynch’s last words!
Punjar: the first is a great addition. The second – I think more famous is the comment from the wife of the governor in whose car Kennedy was travelling who made a comment about how nice the people were being (or maybe it was Jaqueline who said that).
Hi,
Let`s say what we would have said!
kourosh: I am too afraid I might jinx my real last words
The last one(Voltaire) has to take the cake!!
How about “What’s this button for?” ?
“Hey guys, check this out.” Said by many a redneck (and I include myself in that catagory) shortly before dying in some incredibly stupid way.
edger allen poe – “god have mercy on my soul” or somthing along that line
Beethoven – “pity, pity…..too late!”
Charles Darwin – “I am not in the least bit afraid to die”
Billy the kid – “who is it?” then BANG!!!! shot to the heart…
Billy the Kid – "Quien es?" to be precise. At which point he either pulled his gun, was shot unarmed, or escaped death depending on who you ask.
I would like my last words to be something eloquent and intellegent, “I do not fear the beyond, for I’ve had a good life here, with good friends, i’ve been truely blessed etc…” But it will probably be more along the lines of “Get this d@#n cat off me, I can’t breath!” Or “OhCrap!” yes together. If I’m lucky enough ZZZZZZZ
(:
Sean the pyro: hahah – also potential famous last words for the cast of Jackass.
landon: I didn’t know that about Poe – I love his writing.
Fallenangel: I think we all hope for the last one
Plus Luxis (more light) – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Mehr Licht!
He was German, after all.
Haha I like the French Fries one
i love hector fuentes
My uncle’s last words were, “What would happen if I pushed this button?”
j/k
Oops! I just noticed that Area51 already did the joke.
Interesting and amusing list. #11 kind of creeps me out, cause what a horrible thing to be conscious of. Some of them seem a little too convenient and witty, but I guess we’ll never know. I’m really curious about who witnessed #8.
Area 51: Yes! The perfect last words!
Or any variation of ‘Hey guys, watch this!’
Love the Oscar Wilde one. I’ve got a book sitting here [The Rough Guide To Cult Fiction] that has a few:
‘Go away, I’m alright’ – HG Wells.
‘Mind your own business’ – Wyndham Lewis [after a nurse asked him about the state of his bowels]
My grandfather was a wise man and I will always remember his last words. He said, “Whatever you do, don’t set that THING off in the house!”
[a joke that I debated about posting]
these are from wikiquote (part of wikipedia) theres some good ones there…theres one guy (who i have forgotten the name of) who’s nurse told a visitor he was getting better…he saids “on the contrary” and died…it think thats the best
id say there are alot of funny quotes…but these ones are really good
i felt bad for marie antoinette.
I am not sure if you know this, but Joan Crawford’s quote is not necessarily true. There’s alot of speculation on how and when she died. It’s still a great quote and really funny to think about.
Great list but you missed one of the most famous quotes,(not really humorous but very ironic). On his death bed John Adams said “Jefferson lives” not knowing that Jefferson would also die the same day.
How about Jesus Christ: "It is finished!"
We’re looking for real last words. I wish people would stop posting whatever. And it was a famous playwright that said “On the contrary.”