The deathbed can lead people to speak with great honesty and, in many cases, humor. This is a list of 20 last words by famous people.
1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.
Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
2. I can’t sleep
Said by: J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
3. I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Said by: Humphrey Bogart
4. I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
Said by: Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
5. I live!
Said by: Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
6. Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
Said by: Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
7. I am perplexed. Satan Get Out
Said by: Aleister Crowley – famous occultist
8. Now why did I do that?
Said by: General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
9. Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!
Said by: James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.
10. Bugger Bognor.
Said by: King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
11. It’s stopped.
Said by: Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.
12. LSD, 100 micrograms I.M.
Said by: Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
13. You have won, O Galilean
Said by: Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
14. No, you certainly can’t.
Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
15. I feel ill. Call the doctors.
Said by: Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
16. Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here
Said by: Nostradamus
17. Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!
Said by: Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
18. Put out the bloody cigarette!!
Said by: Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
19. Please don’t let me fall.
Said by: Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
20. Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Said by: Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
Technorati Tags: history, last words
haha nice list.
this should be homer simpsons:
doh!
I’m pretty sure my last word will be:
“ooops”
Where’s Che Guevara?
“I know you’ve come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man.”
Karl Marx’s last words are also great.
“Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.”
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
Voltaire’s last words where different actually:
Voltaire died on 30 May 1778. His last words are said to have been, “For God’s sake, let me die in peace.”
Cracked also has a funny list of last words …some that re mentioned on the list and in the comments.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16354_11-most-badass-last-words-ever-uttered.html
“it’s stopped.”
genious. i want to say that upon my death!
hmmmm.. i wonder if number 12 lived long enough to feel the effects of the LSD?? anyway good list..
No matter how I die, my last words will be “OH CRAP!!!!!”
A psychotherapist: “This sure was an interesting learning experience.”
A man: “I told you I was sick!”
Alexander Graham Bell, to his assistant: “Horace, I’ve got to *****.”
Bucky O’Neill, ex-sheriff of Yavapai County, AZ, and Captain of one of Teddy Roosevelt’s dismounted cavalry companies during the Spanish American War in Cuba, 1899. He was walking along the trenches talking to his men while the Spanish were firing at all of them. One of his soldiers said, “Cap’n, you better get down! Them bullets is like hornets!” And Bucky replied, “Son, the Spanish mauser bullet hasn’t been moulded that can –” TWOCK! A bullet went through his mouth and out the back of his head and he was dead when he hit the ground. True story.
number 14?. 14. No, you certainly can’t.
Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
I am confused by this.
You have every right to be confused since his actual last words were. "My God I'm hit."
What’s the confusion? Everyone was out on the streets cheering as he drove by…well everyone the President and Governor could see that is.
@logcabiny Poe died in a hospital after being found in the streets, so his words certainly could have been recorded.
“is it the fourth?” said by thomas jefferson on July 4…. did you know that John Adams also died that same day? thats ironic lol
I’ve got it, my last words will be:
“There is no God!!!!!! Or is there..?”
Hmm… Gotta work on that..
“Want me to say hi to satan while I’m down there?”
Guess I’ll stick to improv for the moment.
“Hold my beer” is Top 1 for me, but also not my original so not gonna happen, cos I’m gonna be extra careful whilst someone is holding my beer.
Or hehehe
“No, that’s not right.. Take 2 everyone!”
my fave is a serial killer in america called appell`s last words as being led to electric chair “now folks you are going to see a baked appell” or spike milligan was reported to of said “told you i was ill!”
I’m sure many a famous last phrase has been “aw *****”
Fun but completely made up.
list reminds me of the old joke -
‘my grandfather died peacfully in his sleep…
unlike his screaming passengers’
Haha, I love this site… all of these cracked me up! Here are some I saw on another site that really made me laugh:
> “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know about this.” ~Thomas J. Grasso, 1995; An actually true remark about his last meal before execution by lethal injection.
> “I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ***.” ~Johnny Frank Garret, 1992; Lethal Injection.
> “Don’t worry, the gun’s not loaded… See?” ~Johnny Ace, 1954; Playing with a gun while he was drunk.
Once again, I love your site and can’t wait until you come out with more! I bookmarked it.
Question-”Any last words”
Response-”Yes just three”
-Whitest Kids U’know
How about “ctrl + alt + delete”?
great site
i think my last words should reflect my life so:
“sorry I’m late, did i miss something?”
my all time favorite famous last words from an old MAD magazine article by the same name. “I dunno.., whatever they are, lets pop a few”…,
for people who don’t know what irony is…read number 1
You can’t forget King Louis XV
Apre moi le deluge
Personally, I like Keith Moon’s (The Who) last words:
“If you don’t like it, you can just ***** off.” (after asking his girlfriend to make him steak and eggs for breakfast)
No “I love you” or even “please” lol
Joan Crawford was badass. And lol at Voltair’s last words. I hope I’ll be funny when I go.
I wish the list was in descending order rather then from the first to the last. It makes it more satisfying to read. Just a note for next time.
how bout “this is how a real man does it?”
Richard Feynman, dying from cancer:
“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
i cant remember who this is but when a man was on his deathbed his wife came in and said “you look better today” which he responded “on the contrary” and died. i feel like it was an author….
l0l Nero’s last words were so hilarious!!
“Such an artist.. dies in me”
l0l
Respawn in 5,4,3,2,1….
“I go to seek a great perhaps” François Rabelais
I herd that beethovens last words were “applored my friends the perfomance is over”
you missed some of the artist’s last words before death
The Kennedy one gave me chills.
There was a good one about Karl Marx, something to the effect of “get outa here, last words are for people who had nothing important to say in life.”
Mary Surrat (19) is actually my great times 5 grandmother.
She was in on the plot to kill lincoln, but it was not intentional. she simply supplied Booth with the horses to get away.Its kinda sad.
@arnaud: and the real kicker is Danton was quite deformed with a remarkably ugly face!
Also: I’m pretty sure they found Edgar Allen Poe in a coma from
which he never awoke.
Further also: WHICH roman emporor said “I live”?
Fred88 – is that seriously Bell’s last statement? If so, it is amazing and I don’t believe it can be outdone.
I like that “I Live!” one a lot. Seems very poetic for someone to shout that once they’re about to die.
I liked this list,
right now the funniest thing I can think of (my own quote)
is..
“I wonder what Chuck Norris would do…”
Giles Corey “More weight.” as he was being stoned to death during the Salem Witchcraft Trials
Julius Caeser “Et tu Brutae” as he was being stabbed to death by his people.
@164
Caligula reputedly said Adhuc Vivo! meaning, roughly, I’m still alive! He apparently said this, and other things like it, several times…as his bodyguards stabbed him to death. Talk about not knowing when to shut up.
You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi
my last words will probably be “honey can i have more popcorn?” i love popcorn especially with vinegar and parmesian cheese!!
Christs last words were – “Oh god why have you forsaken me?”
Einstein spoke his last words to his nurse, unfortunately she didnt speak german, so we will never know what he said.
I’d like to say something like “Don’t wake me, I’d like to rest for a while”
but I will probably say “I guess I shouldn’t have eaten that.” or “Watch this!”
“Victory shall be mine” – Stewie Griffin
"Father forgive them, for they know not what they do"- certain guy while being crucified
That was Jesus Christ who said that.
What about that guy who told his executioner that he loved him? thats *****ing classic
# 5. I LIVE, said by the Roman Emperor as he was being murdered by his own soldiers causes me to wonder. Surely when we die we are more alive than ever if we're with our God, Jahovah and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I would hope my last words would be, " Accept and Live for Jesus and I will see you again"
"It is finished" (Seconds before the fire brigade shot him)
- José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda/Jose P. Rizal (June 19, 1861 – December 30, 1896, Bagumbayan, The Philippines), referring to Christ's last words.
"Smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu!" (Death to fascism, freedom to the people)
Stjepan "Stevo" Filipović (27 January 1916 – 22 May 1942), seconds before being hung by German Nazis.
"I Live!" was a fail because later on he died :p
honorable mention may have gone to Dutch Shultz, though it would have taken up a lot of space. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Schultz
I think you mentioned on another list that no one knows what Einstiens last words were because his nurse didn't speak German. A damned shame.
a better link http://www.feastofhateandfear.com/archives/dutch….
"I need this parade like I need a damn hole in my head." – John F. Kennedy
Mine?
“Last words are like regrets…I have none.”