Subscribe to ListverseTop 10 Self Defense Techniques
- Published November 14, 2007 - 58 Comments
So, you have found yourself in one of the worst situations imaginable, a street fight. Whether you’re being mugged, or have just said the wrong thing to a tough guy, you need to know what to do to get out of the situation. This is a list of the top 10 self defense techniques.
10. This is not a movie
Unless you are in a movie, are Bruce Lee, or have Ring / Cage experience, you shouldn’t try to do anything too amazing, and you should not stop hitting your opponent until your sure he is incapacitated.
9. Your objective is not to win
If you hurt your opponent unnecessarily, you can find yourself in court. Also if you stun your opponent somehow (for example, you knock the wind out of him) you don’t need to do anything more – just run. You will find that you are not hurt and you are not getting sued. That’s winning to me.
8. Know you limits
If the person you are fighting has a weapon, just do what he wants. Getting stabbed, shot at, or beaten by five people is not worth the $10 in your wallet and canceling a few credit cards. This also means knowing when you are beaten. There is no way to win every fight, and not admitting defeat will just get you hurt.
7. Stay Calm
Many people get apprehensive when in a fight and either don’t act quick enough or not at all. It’s easier said than done, but if you can keep your composure it will be well worth it. Part of keeping your composure is not being afraid. One easy way to do this is to remember that he’s not the only one fighting and that you can hurt him. For all he knows you could be the local champion fighter of some sort. He’s the one who should be afraid.
6. If you get hit, it’s not the end of the world
I’ve seen a lot of fights where one person will be doing very well, take a few shots and give up all hope of winning. Getting hit isn’t fun, but it’s not the end of the world. Remember this is a fight, not a beat down, and expect your opponent to put up a fight. Take the shot, regain composure, and get back in there! It’s a lot better than standing still and getting hit.
5. This is the street, there are no rules
That means pull hair, gouge eyes, pinch, bite, fish hook, and whatever you need to do to get out of this situation. Men, for some reason refuse to strike the groin. Why? In the hopes he won’t? To ensure he doesn’t kick you in the groin first, strike him in the groin and run. Who cares if people make fun of you, you’re not whose hurt. However, I wouldn’t recommend striking the spine, or back of the head as this could maim your opponent, which would land you in court.
4. Hit first
If you allow your attacker to hit you first, you are making a bad situation worse. Now you have to recover from the strike, and work to regain momentum in the fight. Hitting first makes the attacker defend himself, something he won’t be used to doing.
3. Close the distance
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu will tell you that in any self defense situation close the distance as quickly as possible. If you are too close to him to strike you, then you can’t get hurt. Muay Thai will tell you that the clinch is one of the best places to strike your opponent. From here you can dish out elbows, knees, and some close range punches.
2. Take him to the ground
This does not mean try to tackle him from thirty feet away, as you will be treated like a bull fighting in Spain (the bulls never wins). If you close the distance, you may be able to trip, drag, or throw him to the ground. If you’ve ever wrestled, used what you’ve learnt to get a top position. If you get a top position on the ground you can strike your opponent without getting attacked. If you have the knowledge of submissions this will only help you.
1. Keep your hands up
This is something boxing coaches remind their fighters of upon entering the ring, and continue to do so until the end of their career. Most of all strikes will either be blocked or the force lessened if your hands are up. Also, watch the Rocky movie. His hands are down most the time, and he gets hit a lot. Learn from his mistake.
Contributor: Thaifighter91
November 14th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
pretty good list i like a lot of what he says, especially no rules part. if this is a street fight where, especiallly its an unprovoked fight, you are being attacked, do whatever you have to do to defend yourself, groin strikes, eyes, throat, whatever it takes.
Getting in close, within their striking range is also a great piece of advice as long as you feel you will have the advantage there. It fairly easy to manipulate the guys arms to prevent him from punching you and what not, limits the damage he’s normal blows can deliever and easy to trip the attacker up or clinch to try and work to a mount or dominate position. also, very useful if you feel there will be a third party breaking up the fight soon, just clinch him and prevent him from attacking until its stopped (like in a bar or something where bouncers will be running to stop the fight).
if you have no idea how to grapple and you’re not already within the grapple range, you may just want to run if it’s an option, especially if this is an attack on the streets with no signs of help coming.
differently dont overthink your attack, even if trained in martial arts, its usually more usual to attack as a instant natural way than to try and think of a “technique” to do, that pause in thought could be the down fall. it requires a lot of training to react in a natural instant matter within a fighting style. like bruce lee says in reference to throwing a fast punch at an attacker, “I do not hit, IT hits all by itself”
November 14th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
wow, crap lots of spelling errors and such, but i cant edit it
November 14th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
evan: sorry – I will be investigating that on the weekend when I have more time.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Running is good self defense, hiding works well too.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Oh – and in response to your comment Evan (and Joe) – when I was doing Ninjutsu training, the first thing we were taught was to get the hell out whenever possible. The first response is always flight – but if you have to fight – fight to kill.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
totally agree, it’s always better to avoid the fight if all possibly, but if you can’t do whatever possibly to the attacker until he’s is totally incapacitated and unable or unwilling to attack you. If this is a possible life or death situation and you have to slam the guys head into concrete or break his arm, lawsuit be damned, id rather be alive and poor then dead
but then again, once i complete my CCW training, ill have some other options if its a life or death situation, namely a 1911 .45 or glock subcompact .40cal
but then the legal stuff really becomes an issue.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
evan: would a gun that old be as effective as a modern hand gun? And yes – the legal stuff does become an issue then – but another take on what you just said: “I’d rather be alive and in jail then dead”.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Haven’t been in a scrap in a while, but when I was, I played dirty. I was a jock in high school and the hoods were always trying to pick a fight. I’d laugh at them, because for the most part, I could have destroyed them if I wanted to. When they would square off with their dukes up, I’d put em up and then kick them in the shins. They were totally focused on my arms and hands and ignored the kick to one of the most painful parts of the body when done right. Most of the time, it put them down. End of fight.
Except for my juvenile taunting and maybe another kick or two. Dirty Hippies!
November 14th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
bucslim: haha that is brilliant
November 14th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
the 1911 is a very very reliable powerful semi automatic, its been modernized over the year but still pretty true to the original john browning design. the exact gun itself i own was made last year. its one of the most popular handguns in the US.
and yes, to a point the phrase “better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6″ comes to mind yes, if i truly felt it was a life or death situation i would draw my weapon, but there are issues, i mean you cant just draw a weapon on some guy because he hit you unless again you truly feel its a life or death matter. specific laws vary from state to state here in the US. if the guy had some kind of a weapon, then its a no brainer you could draw you weapon, no if he’s unarmed you would have to show a disparity of force, legally speaking. But yes, if i truly felt he was trying to kill me, and there was a decent chance that without use of a firearm i couldnt stop him, then yes better to be alive and in jail then dead.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
the thing about self defense is that reading and watching videos about it cannot prepare you for the real thing. constant training and practice until the techniques are second nature is the only way to ever be prepared.
and #7 can be added upon. the mental aspect of self defense is as important as the physical. the adrenaline rush, tunnel vision etc. when provoked can actually be used to your advantage.
good points though. cheers.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
evan: it is amazing that a 1911 gun is still as good now as the modern ones being made.
dalandzadgad: that is true – and something you can’t practise – even with a sparring partner.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
john moses browning was a genius of a gun designer, most of his designs are still used today. including the oldest firearm in the current US armed forces inventory the good ole Ma Duence, the M2 Browning .50 cal machinegun. A lot of them are older then the people firing them
he’s credited with the design of the Colt 1911, the M2 machinegun, the BAR .30 cal rifle, the Browning Hi-power pistol, and more.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
another thing with the colt 1911 it was the longest running issued pistol in the US until fairly recently, IIRC lates 1990s when it was replaced by the Beratta 92 model, but there is a growning call for the reissue the the 1911 for increase lethality of the 45 round over a 9mm, and also the so called “stopping power” of the round.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
evan: hmm – I am sure someone with a lot of knowledge in that area could make a good list *hint hint*
November 14th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
im working on it, lol it was a very busy last few days
November 14th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
In college in the early 80s, we had the Three Rules of Barfighting. They were succinct and easy to remember:
1) ALWAYS get in the first punch
2) NEVER fight fair
3) KNOW when to leave.
A wonderful bit of wisdom that, as I recall, I have my friend Joe to thank for. Useful stuff when you’re three or four “college boys” in preppie repp ties, blue blazers, khakis and loafers… and you’ve mistakenly lingered too long in a townie bar, surrounded by low-life guys with mullets. Whoops.
November 14th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Awesome list jfrater! I learned like 8 out of 10 of these things when I train in Muay Thai. This type of martial art is very brutal! You can use elbows and even knees to strike your opponent! Uh oh! Great! Now talking and reading self defense has gotten me in a fighting mood! I feel like kneeing someone in the face! FATALITY!!!
November 14th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Technique 11: Smother them with love. This will confuse them and make you look like the bigger person.
…okay, this may not always work, but I’m a lady. I’ve never been in a *real* fight.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Kelsi: while I applaud your positive outlook – I can’t see that working on a junkie looking for $5 for his next hit
November 14th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Grabb stuff! asstrays, bottles, glasses, them can help you if they struck your opponents head. And the good old hunting knife is an excelent adition to you fashion style if you plan on being atacked.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Yaurt: I’m sure by asstrays you meant ashtrays? Like that scene in Just Married where Brittany Murphy hits Ashton Kucher in the head with one…haha, that’s one of the only funny parts in the whole movie. xD
jfrater: Yeah, in that case running usually works just fine, and if not that then I guess your list could be useful.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
For #5- There is an unwritten male code that forbids kicking another guy in the groin
November 14th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
EAL- isn’t there also a written law that forbids attacking another person
, only evening the playing field.
Yaurt- You caught me, I should have added improvised weapons on #5!
oh well…
November 14th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
+100 for including a picture of Anderson Silva!
November 14th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
this list talks a lot about not getting yourself brought into court but then it tells you to throw the first punch? wouldn’t that do exactly what the list is telling you not to?
November 14th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
The greatest victory is the battle not fought.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:19 am
I would ALWAYS try to run away first. You pick your own battles. One more advice:
12. Scream like a raving lunatic when you attack. That will surprise your opponent and lead him to believe that you in fact are a raving lunatic thus making him afraid of you.
13. Get some excercise in a boxing gym. It is very good excercise and you can practice a fighting situation under safe conditions. Plus
having recieved at few punches will prevent that a real attack gives you a severe psychological trauma.
November 15th, 2007 at 6:13 am
NSEW, most states in the US, don’t require you to be physically hit for it to be assualt or for self defense, you just have to be or feel threatened and feel immediate physical danger and you can defend yourself, even if that means hitting first.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I find that a technique used in hockey is really effective. grab their shirt around the collar area with your weak hand and use your dominant hand for punching. your opponent isn’t able to put full force into the punches with your outstretched arm grabbing them, and you are able to control the situation.
November 15th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
But whatever you do, remember: Don’t mess with Danny Bonaduce.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
One other thing. If you do find yourself in court, make sure your defense is that you used only enough force as you felt was necessary to remove the threat.
None of this “fight to kill” stuff. If you HAVE to kill, then that’s all cool, but legally, you are only allowed to use as much force as you deem necessary.
Oh yeah. I’m not a lawyer.. bla bla bla…
November 16th, 2007 at 8:11 am
If you are going to use a 1911 type of pistol,
get a 1911A1 and drop in a Springfield Match Barrel, a #5 link and pin, Kings gunworks adjustable trigger and fully adjustable BoMar rear sight and a Full length recoil rod with 15pound recoil spring, Hoague Mono grips and Mag well bevel and finish off with a 10 round Pachmayer Magazine loaded with 200gr Black Talon (if allowed for civillian CCW) or Win. SilverTips.
This worked for me for over 23 years in harms way
November 16th, 2007 at 8:19 am
i wish i could make a semi custom 45, but alas i dont have the extra money for that stuff. I got a taurus 1911, and for the money its excellent. so far zero problems with it. The only thing i dont care for is the ambi saftey is a little too large. but i guess i could always take a dremel to it if need be.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Great article.
I’ve had lots of fights in my time, I’m not proud of that but most of them weren’t initiated by me. I live in a fairly rough town and there are plenty of knuckleheads looking for a fight.
During my first couple of years at secondary school (age 11/12) I was a quiet kid, so occasionally one of the ‘hard’ kids would start on me. I applied the ‘punch first’ technique many times during that period. If one of the hard kids came up to me and started pushing me I’d punch them in the nose as hard as I could. Fight over.
Eventually the hard kids caught on to the fact that I would not tolerate being pushed around and they left me alone for my remaining time at school. Some were even scared of me. I didn’t let it go to my head though, I was still the quiet kid. But, the quiet kid that will punch you in the face if you start. Good times.
I had never run away from a fight until a few months ago (I’m 32 now). It was 2am, I was walking across a bridge and noticed a group of six teenagers emerge from under the bridge. One of them shouted “let’s jump him” and they all started running up the bank.
I was in a similar situation a few years back and made the incorrect decision to stand and fight. One cracked cheekbone, broken jaw and broken finger later I had learned my lesson – know when to run.
This time I ran as fast as I could and managed to get on to a main road nearby where I knew there would be passing cars. My plan paid off and they retreated.
I felt slightly ashamed afterwards, but the shame gradually turned to pride as I realised I made the correct decision – there is no way that I could have won that fight and with todays youth, here in the UK, I more than likely would have been stabbed or beaten to death.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am
A Glock 10MM, two spare magazines and a cold, hard heart.
November 24th, 2007 at 1:38 am
A very good list with great principles to follow for the street, and oh yeh bring your Glock-Fu!! lol!!
Simple Self Defense
November 30th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Very dangerous advice here. First, a clear distinction should be made between social violence and criminal attacks, which are a matter of life or death. Social violence should be avoided at all costs but if a schoolboy needs to punch someone in the nose to avoid being bullied, fine. All that has nothing whatever to do with criminal violence. The only solution here is to attack immediately the most vulnerable and incapacitating point available: eyes, neck, throat, gonads, etc., and to keep striking until the attacker is totally incapacitated. If that means permanently incapacitated, fine. It is a matter of life or death. The idea that one should avoid striking some area in such situations because there might be legal repercussions is both ludicrous and dangerous. Equally silly: gauge the eye, but don’t strike the spine (presumably the back of the neck). A person asking you for your wallet with a gun or knife is very likely a potential murderer whether or not you comply. So, in truly criminal situations, violence is the only answer–delaying tactics, reasoning, reaching for pepper spray, and the like will simply get you maimed or killed–whereas in social situations–bar situations, and the like–it is never or almost never the answer. In social situations, it is the ego that is on the line, typically, whereas in the criminal situation, it is your life that is on the line. If your ego is on the line, get over it and walk away; if your life is on the line attack first and with full force with a clear target.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Yeah, I agree. Most people don’t get it. Attacking to save your life is not “fighting.” You’re not trying to “win” a match. You’re trying to put the guy or guys down, because you have no other choice in a criminal attack. Items 5 and 9 are contradictory and will get you killed:
5. This is the street, there are no rules
“That means pull hair, gouge eyes, pinch, bite, fish hook, and whatever you need to do to get out of this situation. Men, for some reason refuse to strike the groin. Why? In the hopes he won’t? To ensure he doesn’t kick you in the groin first, strike him in the groin and run. Who cares if people make fun of you, you’re not whose hurt. However, I wouldn’t recommend striking the spine, or back of the head as this could maim your opponent, which would land you in court.”
Go ahead and gouge out an eye, but don’t hit his spine?! Please. “Yes, your honor, I let him stab me because I didn’t want to maim him…”
Then, in flagrant contradiction to the basic idea of number 5 comes number 9:
9. Your objective is not to win
“If you hurt your opponent unnecessarily, you can find yourself in court. Also if you stun your opponent somehow (for example, you knock the wind out of him) you don’t need to do anything more – just run. You will find that you are not hurt and you are not getting sued. That’s winning to me.”
I can’t imagine a more stupid piece of advice. Of course, if you can run away in the first place, or after one telling blow, that would be best. But putting the attacker down, really down, is the only intention that will allow you to survive. In a life and death situation, you can’t possibly be concerned with not “hurting your opponent unnecessarily.” The word “opponent” here is the giveaway; this is not a match, its a struggle for life with someone who obviously has no qualms about hurting you or killing you.
December 24th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Sadly, and inevitably this list will bring about the type that like to make extravagant of their chokeholds on siblings and scuffs with the homeless backed by a few of their lawn-dart weilding buddies a true “brawl”. I’m surprised we’ve not seen the lesser of us claiming Ed Norton curb-stomps outside strip malls and the like.
You did leave out a crucial tip though. If you actually are stupid enough to go with odds outside your favor (a 4+ on 1) please, for the love of God or Cassius Clay, keep moving. Staying calm works, but only if you’re funny. Talk, if you’re smooth, and talk alot. Anything to delay the seige on your ego, and give you a chance for planning, no sudden movement, but be sure to let the idea that you’re about to get your ass kicked and your wounds licked by your girlfriend sink in, so your adrenaline surges.
In many, many circumstances you do NOT want to go with the biggest guys first, I’ve made that mistake a few times. But just think about it. Smaller guys get in ALOT more fights than bigger guys, trust me on that. I was a vars OLB/ D-end and regional champ 220+ Heavyweight grecco and roman back in school, us big guys don’t put up with half the shit that little guys do, so be less weary to let size intimidate.
Number one reason for losing a fight? Intimidation. Don’t be wreckless, but do NOT let gender or race or size get in the way. Black or mexican or white, everyone is human, and everyone has a weakness. I club in Dallas, where all types colide, and the number one reason I always see someone initiate a fight with a punch or push is because the other person shows a weakness and/or is white.
1.) Leave if you can, but in most social circles it’s much more acceptable to get your ass beat than run away from a fair fight. I’ve gotten a few beers out of putting up a good fight and losing.
2.) These are only tips on simple brawls, no weapons or ex-convicts involved.
3.) Outnumbered? No rules, whatsoever.
4.) Keep your back away from a group of spectators and or opponents, you never know who will jump in for the hell of it, especially with hispanics (dont call me a racist, it’s from plenty of personal experience.)
5.) Breath rapidly while striking, slowly while manuevering, make your opponent waste his breath catching up.
6.) Do not go on the defensive, this will get your ass kicked 9 times out of 10, some circumstances apply to those with a height advantage or with steel organs for a improv rope-a-dope, or if your opponent is 12.
7.) Hit first.
8.) Use the Water-boy, fill your thoughts with outright hatred for the person. Imagine him training your mom or picking on your little brother, anything to secrete more adrenaline, so every punch you take will hurt you less, and every punch you throw will be minimally weaker than the last.
9.) You are NOT Roy Jones Jr. or Vladimir, do NOT BOX. DO NOT BOX. If he does, then laugh at him. DO NOT THROW JABS IN STREET FIGHTS. Stick to your predominant hand and leg because the sooner it’s over, the fewer times you have to say “well you should’ve seen the other guy”.
10.) If you’ve got friends at your back, keep them out to avoid a group confrontation (always much more violent) and go for submissive techniques, and if the guy does check you with a cheap shot after he cries uncle, you know you’ve got some referees to back up your fight. Ground em, pound em, left elbow on his throat, your right hand pulling his knee as far to your chest as you can.
And in the end, if you win a fight, always buy the guy a beer if he’s up for it, gaining two of my best friends took me a 3rd degree clavical breakage and three broken digits, plus you decrease the risk for escalation (fists to threats, threats to knives, knives to guns, etc)
Lastly, never fight an Irishman, he’ll fight you until he wins, no matter how long that takes.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Zoso, excellent list, it’s great that you included psych tactics, which are very important.
Jfrater, pretty good list, with one deadly exception, rule #8. NEVER EVER EVER do what your attacker wants, especially if that involves letting him take you to a more remote locaton, because then, you get raped or murdered. NEVER let someone call the shots in any situation, do whatever you can to take control from them. It is insane to trust a thug not to kill you. Now that you’ve got me all riled up I will make my own list lol with a few more specifics.
P.S. are you the only listmaster or can I upload my own?
1. Size up your opponent and take the situation into account. This will largely decide how you approachthe situation. A fight with a punk at a party is very different than a mugging by a crackhead. For one you can probably talk the punk out of the fight using humility and humor, whereass with a crackhead I would not suggest it. Do whatever you feel is necessary in the situation to make your life easier. If you are in a dangerous life threatening situation(e.g alone against someone with a knife robbing you) then GIVE NO QUARTER. However if you are fighting a high school football player cuz you looked at his girl, try not to do anything more than break a few bones. You can get away with killing a crackhead, but not a punkass rich kid.
2. Strategize-During the initial confrontation(shit-talkin) look around, be aware ofyour environment.Does he have friends that might help him? Is there ANYTHING that you can use as a weapon? (e.g. a stick, a tree, a wall, the ground). Does he appear to have a weapon? (watch out for unseen hands, they often hold weapons). Is there anyone who might help you? Is there an escape route you can use once you have incapacitated them?
Note: the rest of the list will be assuming that you are being accosted by a dangerous degenerate who wants to rob/rape you,and not a drunk frat boy(being that fighting dumbasses s usually voluntary, and thusly not really self defense)
3. Be prepared- This is the best of the rules. This doesn’t just mean staying physically fit and practicing combat, but also being mentally prepared. Being prepared to be hit, possibly even cut or shot. You have to instill in yourself the idea that if you don’t walk away from this fight on your own terms, then you probably won’t walk away at all. The stakes are as high as you can imagine, life or death. Everything you ever knew, everyone you ever loved, they are all on the fucking line. Failure is not an option, don’t think that you can call time out after you start bleeding , because that is the time they will move in for the kill. Be prepared to do ANYTHING to survive. Carrying a weapon at all times is a good idea, a pocket knife is the most practical.
4. Be Deceptive- don’t hesitate to use ANYTHING you can to win. It can be as simple as quickly pointing over your attackers shoulder and screaming “what the fuck is that!” when they look to see what it is you will have a split second to get the advantage. If you have martial arts experience don’t let them know about it or go into fighting stance right away, let it be a suprise. And most importantly if you have a knife or other weapon, don’t brandish it, don’t tell them about it, and try not to let them see you pull it out. If you have a knife they shouldn’t know about it until it is lodged handle deep inside of them and they are leaking like a faucet. If that’s not a psychological advantage I don’t know what is.
5. Don’t fight DIRTY, fight fucking FILTHY- don’t kick a man while he’s down, stomp him! Don’t punch him in the jaw, grab his jaw and rip it the fuck off! Don’t gouge his eyes, rip them out! A mugger or rapist isn’t playing by the rules, so why should you? This also goes along with #9.
6. Get fucking ANGRY! Once it has been established that the fight is going to happen no matter what, don’t be a placid defensive victim, be the aggressor. Scream, curse, go fucking insane. Not only will this give the attacker second thoughts it will also keep you fighting after you are injured.
7. Never let anyone you don’t know get to close to you in the first place- If a vagrant walks up to you tell him to stay away from you, if he gets within your personal area back off or deal with them immediately, do not let them get so close that they could stab you or assault you before you have time to react.
8. Stay out of stupid situations- this is more a preventative measure, but is a golden rule. Don’t go into a bad neighborhood at all. Don’t go near a crackhouse. If you are white don’t go to a black or hispanic neighborhood, sometimes that will be enough to get you jumped.
9. Turn the Tables- usually when a thug fucks with a “normal” person they have the psychological advantage of thinking they are badder/crazier than them. Make it apparent that you aren’t a normal person. Keep him talking as long as you can and allow your anger to escalate. Envision every bad thing that has ever happened to you. Think about all you life’s dissapointments, think of every enemy you’ve ever had, everyone who has ever done you wrong. Think of someone kicking a puppy, or an artocity from history that particularly upsets you. Then envision that your enemy is all of those people, that he is responsible for everything bad in the entire world. Envision everyone you love or care about, then imagine how much it will hurt them if you let this fuck kill you .Put it in the context that if you don’t destroy this fucker utterly and without quarter then everyone you love will suffer for it. He will notice the madness welling up out of your eyes and it may make him hesitate. Lastly, say the most horrible awful things you can think of to him. Tell him that you are going to fuck his corpse and rape his children, tell him that you are the voice of god sent to purge the world of sinners, but don’t just say it, believe it. This fucker thought he was robbing mr. rogers, not charles manson. Once he realizes that he’s messing with a fellow deranged sociopath he might back off, if he doesn’t be prepared to do everything you told him you would.
10.RUN!- After you have utterly destroyed this fool who dared to fuck with you. After you have left him weeping in a pool of his own blood and urine, or freed his soul from it’s mortal vessel, don’t stick around and wait for his homeboys to showup, and don’t wait for the cops. You are still in a volatile situation and should get to a safe location as soon as posible. Call the police at your own risk, because in today’s world of dickless politically correct pussies, you might be considered the bad guy for defending yourself.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Monkey Nuts – “P.S. are you the only listmaster or can I upload my own?”
check out:
http://listverse.com/contribute
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm
“1. Keep your hands up” has the main advantage of keeping the head from being injured. By keeping the arm and hands up, like boxers do, we block most moves that are directed towards the head. Minimizing head injuries = less chance to lose consciousness.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
LOL… Monkey nuts took the words straight out my mouth… you comment actually psyched me up it’s crazy!!!
June 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I have not actually ever been in a fight. Close, but once I step up and inches from their face, they back down.
#40 ZoSo Go Led Zep!
June 23rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm
heres my advice come on calm and finish strong
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I hope you people realize how ridicules you sound. Speaking from personal experience, the only things to consider in a violent situation are as follows:
1)Fighting is a last resort. Always attempt to defuse or remove the situation before resorting to it.
2)If you are attacked, RUN. No-one wins a fight. No matter what happens, by fighting, you lose.
3)If the person has a weapon, do what they say, unless they order you to go to a secluded location. To use an extreme example, being raped is an atrocious thing, but remember that funerals are for the living. If you die, you leave behind all the people who need and love you.
4)When someone attacks you, they automatically forfeit any right to not get hurt. Fortunately, this does not mean you are free to use lethal tactics.
5)If someone pulls a knife or pipe on you, or they outnumber you, you are allowed to defend yourself with fairly excessive force. But if a man pulls a knife on you, and you so much as even brandish a firearm, you will go to prison. I guarantee it. If you shoot someone, unless they also had a gun, and were actively preparing to use it, you are guilty of at least manslaughter, possibly murder.
6)Breaking bones is totally acceptable.
7)As soon as you stun or disable your attacker, run(oh, but if you follow Monkey Nuts advice, you will get arrested. Never any exceptions. EVER. by running from a murder, you admit your guilt, totally and legally.).
8)Never, EVER, throw the first punch. As soon as you do, you are the attacker, that simple. He is defending himself, and is right to do so.
You deliberately escalated the conflict.
9)When fighting for your life, feel free to use as much force as NEEDED, and only that much. Anything short of lethal or permanently disabling is O.K.
10)When faced with a group, keep them in front. Then run.
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
@Honestly
I’m sure your heart is in the right place but you are completely misinformed on half of your advice. I don’t think you should be giving legal advice when it is wildly off base.
To start, anyone that teaches rape prevention will tell you 75% of women who fight back as hard as they can against a rapist cause the rapist to flee. The only time you are taught not to fight is if there is absolutely no chance. There is no reason to assume someone who will gladly rape you won’t kill you when they are done so there are no witnesses. Rape is about power and a woman showing ferocity and fearlessness is the exact opposite of what the rapist is looking for- rapists are by nature, cowards that want to feel powerful. Your advice is completely wrong. The ony time you don’t fight back is when you have no chance.
Lethal force is determined on a case by case basis. Throwing the first punch has no legal ramifications whatsoever and self defense instructors have taught for years that as soon as you know you can’t avoid conflict, you strike as hard and as fast as possible. Waiting for the other guy to throw the first punch is playground mythology and has no legal standing. The court definition of assault doesn’t wait for you to be injured before you have the right to defend yourself.
Also, if a person pulls a knife on you and it can be considered an agent of deadly force while you have a gun, you are completely within your right to shoot them. The weapon being weilded has nothing to do with the legal stance; whether it is considered to be a tool with the intent of using deadly force upon your person is the determining factor.
Running from the scene of any crime is not an automatic admission of guilt. It`s actually a separate crime- fleeing. It has no bearing on whether you are actually guilty of the crime commited though, but will look bad.
When fighting for your life, you are completely within your rights to use lethal and permanent force. Again, let`s go over that first part… when fighting for your life.
I`m sure you had good intentions with your post but you are terribly misinformed on the law and the reality of the applications. I taught rape prevention, jiu jitsu and self defense for years and it involved always being abreast of your legal rights and what is permissible in what situation.
I`m not advocating anyone pretend they are a movie martial arts actor anymore than I advocate following your advice- both stances are unsafe and based in misconception and will get people injured or killed.
The best way to be safe is to not get your advice from the internet and go out and study under professionals and educate yourself on a constant basis. No website will make you safer than you were before reading it; sadly misinformation can make you less safe though.
June 27th, 2008 at 2:35 am
I don’t know…My opinion is that you can’t generalize because you never know ho you are fighting with.Every situation is different you have to shape after your opponent to counter every action he does. In the streets you never know, you can have a shock for instance and you’re paralyzed of fear. The best move is to avoid as much as possible and only then kill the motherfucker.Excuse my english.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Bruce Lee believed that if the fight was not over in 2 seconds, there was something wrong with your technique. And he was right.
But you don’t have to be an expert at martial arts or in street fighting. The chances of your attacker being skilled in a fighting discipline, in any case, is highly improbable. So the element of surprise is on your side.
You just need to use common sense. The most powerful self-defense tool available to you is your mind. Use it to learn all the vulnerable parts of the body, and the effect of hitting those spots.
When facing an attacker, always stay calm. The element of surprise is on your side. Like all bullies, your attacker rarely expects you to act against him. When you do act, don’t worry about what a cop will say or what a Court judge will think. Just worry about your life. If you don’t, you could die.
As far as the authorities are concerned, he attacked you… it happened so quick… you can’t remember what happened…you just ran off in absolute fear! And you want the bastard charged!
I am just going to give a few hints here… work out the rest. Your attacker’s eyes… your attacker’s neck (wind pipe)… your attacker’s pubis… your attacker’s ears… your attackers kidneys… All these areas require fairly minor force resulting in devastating effect.
Please only apply this in life or death situations.
December 4th, 2008 at 1:55 am
NEVER SHOW FEAR!!!! in a fight (when your getting robbed just give up whatever at least you can live to talk about it) but in a street fight if someone is saying they want to fight never back up and say i dont want to fight you that just gives them more fuel… the braver you act the more respect you will get win or lose… i have litterally stood there and let someone punch me in the face 10 or so times because i simply didnt agree with the reason we were fighting i kept my chin up and let him blast me yea it hurt like hell for a few days even but now 2 years later i dont even remember the pain i just remember the respect (AND LADIES BELIEVE IT OR NOT) i got from doing it… i have probably been in 20 maybe 21 fights (im only 19) and the definate best tips are
1. never show fear
2. ALWAYS HIT FIRST
3. dont plan shit out
4. the more you swing the more you land
5. never stop moving
6. always get back up
7. never claim that you won listen to the unbiased bystanders if they say you won then congrats but dont run your mouth saying you won when you didnt (i had a fight where i was slamming a kids face off of his windshield repeatedly and i got calls later that night asking how i was because i “got my ass beat”
haha
December 4th, 2008 at 1:56 am
and another thing if you are ever around a fight that is about to start ALWAYS BUST OUT A CAMERA!!!! ALWAYS!!! i have never had a fight on film and i have no clue what happens in any of my fights because i just black out my thoughts and go crazy
December 5th, 2008 at 5:25 am
The first rule of fight list is do not talk about fight list.
January 1st, 2009 at 4:24 am
In response to all the references to guns, especially references to concealed carry, I give this reply. Even assuming you are reasonably proficient in the use of your firearm, the time it would take to draw, aim, and fire at someone is often more time than you have. There have been numerous tests where teams of trained police officers were systematically taken out(not for real) by one guy with a knife. Within about 20 feet, you would be dead before you could even fire. Put a vest on the knife wielder and you add about 20 more feet where you die before you drop him.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
the only thing i have to say about alex’s list is the more throws more hits part. more often than not a well aimed blow can end a fight much quicker and easier than a flurry of sloppy ones. put a good right cross on a dudes chin and he will see stars, pound a flurry on him and he might make the choice YOU should have and pop you one square on the chin, nose, eye, whatever. dont be afraid to throw a punch but dont toss them around aimlessly. on top of making ineffective strikes you will most likely tire yourself out, then your in trouble. when your to tired to keep swinging its the other guys turn. remember that
March 11th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Well, I’m a woman and I would like to add some advice to the ladies out there (or whoever else feels they might put it to good use, I’m not a sexist)
* The best way to put a man down, is a good kick to the groin. Follow through with a punch to the throat to block his respiration. Then you’ll have bought yourself time to get the hell out of there.
* If you find yourself facing more than one attacker, always go for the one with the biggest mouth, he’ll most probably be the “leader” and if you shut him up, the rest’ll be disoriented or lost (which is why they always tried to kill the Indian Chief … remember)
* If attacked from behind, land a series of specific hits. First, stomp your attacker on the foot, the thinner the heels you’re wearing, the more it’ll hurt! That should already take them by surprise and it’s very likely their grip on you will loossen right off the bat. Kick them in the shin next, punch or grab (and squeeze!!!) their “private parts”, which is bound to make them back off a little more. If that’s created enough space between you, raise your arm and crack your elbow across their face. If they’re still too close, hit them in the ribs and *create* that distance, THEN hit them in the face.
Finally, your best bet to ensure they will have trouble following you (and in the meantime they might have changed their mind about attacking you), turn to face them and kick them where it hurts.
Like they say: This is the street, no rules!
Hit them where it hurts and show them they were wrong messing with you.
You have more weapons than you think you do!!! Remember that.
You’re wearing heels?? USE THEM.
You’ve got a purse?? Hit them with it, I’m sure there will be plenty of things in there that will make their head spin.
You have keys on you?? Use them too. Either hold them in your hand and strike with them, or throw them into their face. This will distract them, after what you can land that first punch (or kick to the nuts!!!). Make sure to pick up your keys before you start running though!!!
And most importantly: WE ARE NOT THE WEAKER SEX!!!!!
Men should finally learn that little fact of life.
March 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I found most of these tips not useful, as I am a woman. Some of the comments were helpful. Not panicking is a great one and not revealing any weapon is another good one. I recall cutting across a playground about 7pm coming home from work, and this guy started to follow me into it. He was about 50 feet behind. He kept going psst… psst. I had a coat on so I kept my same pace, but slowly slid my hand into my empty pocket and slowly pulled it out as if I were trying to be sneaky about it but making sure he could see the action, not the hand itself. I walked a few more steps, took a glance around and I was all alone. Needless to say, I didn’t take that short cut anymore. A few years ago, I was walking back from McDonalds and had a coffee in my hand (another short-cut through the subway station). This was on a Sunday A.M. so it was deserted. As I left the station, I noticed a guy walking toward me but on the opposite side of the street. I was suspicious when he kept glancing around and then looking at me. Suddenly, he decided to cross the street to my side while I was trying to cross to his side. While we were both waiting for a break in traffic, I slowly, with my thumb, lifted the lid off the cup of coffee and while looking intently at him to make sure he noticed. Apparently, this was a deterrent as he stayed on his side of the street, kept walking and I got home safely. I live in Baltimore and the chances of being a victim are great so not making your self an easy target is important. Years ago, I was at a bus stop with my 6 month old daughter when this crazy guy got up in my face and started talking angrily at me. I was so terrified because I had my daughter in my arms! So instinctively, I acted crazy back! “Did you get the cab? “Where’s the cab? “This bus is taking too long? You got the money? He looked at me as if I was crazy and slowly walked away! Whew! And last, I was home alone one night when I heard someone knock at my back door?!! When I called out who is is it, nobody answered. Well not used to being alone, I was a bit scared. So instead of going upstairs to bed, I decided to sleep downstairs on the couch and bought a comforter and blanket with me to curl up and watch TV with the lights on. I sleep with my head under covers (always have) and soon I fell asleep. Sometime later, for some reason I woke up, sat up and let out this blood curdling scream. I saw the silhouette of a man in my dining room entrance. He then ran out of the back door of my house and left the door wide open. It took me several minutes to compose myself and to get up to lock the door and call the police. On the way back to the LR to wait for police, I noticed a baseball bat (not mine) standing beside a wall. Apparently this invader planned to rob my house, and possibly bash my brains out. Luckily my covers hid me and probably just looked like a ball of covers, nobody under there. He had broken the kitchen window and let himself in.
April 4th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Interesting and useful list. Ok, so I’ve never been in a real fight (unless you count kid’s fights), but I’ve had some self defense stuff at school lately and though it’s not exactly world-class defense, I found it very fun to do. The fact that it has a practical use just makes it better.
This is one of the times I’m glad I am a woman. You can kick me in my groin, sure, but I probably won’t hurt as much as men do. Hah.