Top 15 Strange Religious Candies
Published on June 29, 2008 - 119 Comments
In our tradition of providing something for everyone, we have a list of religious candies. I must confess that I was quite surprised to find such a large selection out there - but I guess the demand must be high. I am presuming that the majority of these comes from the USA, but if not, someone may be able to shed some light in the comments. This is our last list before the site turns one tomorrow!
1: Cross Candy
2: Jesus Canes
3: Promise Seeds
4: Cross Bracelets
5: He Lives Pops
6: God is love Chocolate
7: Cross Pops
8: Walking with Jesus Jandals
9: Noah’s Nuggets (worst name ever?)
10: Bible Character Jellybeans
11: Scripture Candy
12: Sweet Truth Candy
13: Bible Gum
14: Testiments
15: Bible Bar (containing the 7 foods of deuteronomy!)
Related ListsTop 10 Most Disgusting Candies EverVideocast: Top 10 Unsolved Mysteries Top 20 Worst Tattoos Top 15 Beatles Songs |
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1. Kelsi - June 30th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Sheesh, and these are only the Christian ones…
Althoug that Bible Bar sounds tasty.
2. jadester - June 30th, 2008 at 8:22 am
mmmm…sacra-licious.
3. warrrreagl - June 30th, 2008 at 8:24 am
*speechless
4. Ruairi - June 30th, 2008 at 8:24 am
lol @ jadester…
5. JwJwBean - June 30th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Here is a link to Orientaltrading.com They have 45 listings for religious candies. Are bible verse fortune cookies candy tho?
http://www.orientaltrading.com.....caCategory
6. lbeifuss - June 30th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I grew up Christian and have “enjoyed” many of these candies. Specifically the Testamints. Haha. I would suggest avoiding them.
7. robneiderman - June 30th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I’ve actually heard of the Bible Bar! Never seen any of these, though. Are they all real? It’s not April Fool’s Day again, is it?
8. stevenh - June 30th, 2008 at 8:54 am
warrrreagl, you are 100% correct!
On the other hand, this opens up a whole discussion of various business opportunities… I’m sure that there are millions of believers of other faiths that are just waiting to satisfy a soul and sweet tooth.
buddhist bonbons anyone?
(no offense meant)
9. Csimmons - June 30th, 2008 at 8:55 am
mmmmmmmm, sweet truth candy, it lets all your sins out at the wrong time.
10. romerozombie - June 30th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Damn that stuff looks tasty. If they gave that stuff out at church I’d go.
11. JC - June 30th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Atone-mints
12. Ghidoran - June 30th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Ooh bible bars. They are actually healthy(as healthy as chocolte gets), with nuts, raisins
13. sikamikanica - June 30th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Noah’s Nuggets!!! It seems they didn’t think that one all the way through, lol
14. MPW - June 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am
truly astonishing! I don’t want to see Noah’s nuggets, let alone eat em’. They do look tasty though.:)
15. Tempyra - June 30th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Jesus canes? That’s not very PC of him
The Bible Bars look the yummiest!
16. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Happy Early Birthday!!
Congrats, Jfrater!!
17. Tempyra - June 30th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Oh yeah, it’s July 1st here too
Happy Birthday to Listverse!
18. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Is that supposed to be Jesus Sandals?
Fun list!
19. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 9:31 am
MPW I would eat Noah’s Nuggets
20. DiscHuker - June 30th, 2008 at 9:32 am
this might be the most appropriate time in the history of language that “is nothing sacred?” be asked.
21. darthbarbie - June 30th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Ned Flanders would be so proud
22. MPW - June 30th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Vera Lynn: I’ll keep that in mind:)
Also try forbidden apple flavored Jolly Ranchers
23. PT - June 30th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I’m with you DiscHuker there is something very creepy about the whole thing
24. goof_ball - June 30th, 2008 at 9:47 am
noahs nuggets is the worst name ever, not possibly. i would deffinately not eat those! lol
i would call this list strange christian candies because its all jesus, cross, bible, etc
25. Tempyra - June 30th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Is it weird that these candies are mostly ‘indulgences’? I mean these aren’t really the kinda thing the Bible encourages are they?
26. WarningDontReadThis - June 30th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I havent laughed so hard in a while, haha jesus canes!
27. WarningDontReadThis - June 30th, 2008 at 10:08 am
He lives pops?! who, who I ask came up with these names?
28. Mark - June 30th, 2008 at 10:11 am
:-S ???
29. Tempyra - June 30th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Who wants to suck a cross?
Hehe… oh dear.
30. Cyn - June 30th, 2008 at 10:18 am
http://www.urbandictionary.com.....rm=jandals
31. Mark - June 30th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I bet the ancients would be freaked out at the modern obsession with crucifixes and crosses, and painting images of Jesus getting crucified. It would be like us painting pictures of children getting raped. At least, that’s the closest thing I can think of. I don’t know of anything worse than crucifixion, except possibly for impalement and sawing.
32. Leah - June 30th, 2008 at 10:31 am
About two weeks ago I had a Bible Bar for the first time. It was absolutely delicious.
33. MPW - June 30th, 2008 at 10:48 am
The Candy Crosses would be even weirder if their was a little edible Jesus on it but then it would be a candy Crucifix I suppose. Sorry If anyone is offended.
34. Ro - June 30th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I first heard about bible bars while watching Ripleys. They have this part called “spot the not” where they show you three incredulous things of which one is a hoax. So in one episode, these bible bars were one of the 3 things. I can’t remember though, which one was the fake,but after having read this list, looks like the bible bars were real after all.
35. Blogball - June 30th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Here are some I just made up. I will be submitting these to the candy factories for approval.
Tower of Babel bars
Lemontations
Peter& Paul’s picked peck of pickled peppermint gum
36. JayArr - June 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Seems this could be the ‘Judeo Christian Candy List’… what about all the other religions of the world? Oh, that’s right, most of them don’t eat depictions of their prophets and holy symbols.
#1 - You can eat it, or crucify your hamster!
#2 - Jesus didn’t live long enough to need a cane…
#3 - Promise Seeds - a tummy ache promise in every pack
…
Ah, the possibilities are endless… I’ll stop while I’m behind.
37. ringtailroxy - June 30th, 2008 at 11:32 am
wow. edible effigies.
this REALLY creeps me out.
It reminds me of the way adults ‘convert’ their young children from believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny(by actually telling them at some point that Santa & Easter Bunny are not real) to believeing in God and Jesus. (which parents are more reluctant to tell their children are not real…)
I always wondered why we have kids sit on strangers, in cheap red costumes, in a mall, during the holiday season instead of sitting on the lap of someone dressed up as God, or Joseph, or an Angel.
ringtailroxy
38. trojan_man - June 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Thank God edible prayer beads are not here! The pope would condemn us all!
39. Syn - June 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Interesting.
XD
40. GettyB - June 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Slightly insane and scary. Sweet Truth! I totally want some so it can save my soul..lol. But to each its own. Hope Baby RUth’s aren’t Satan’s candy cause They’re the best!
41. chubbybubba - June 30th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I bet there were a lot of nuggets on Noah’s Ark… just none that were edible.
42. Tyler Straub - June 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Ive had a bible bar before, they’re not bad.
43. Crimanon - June 30th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Yay, Decadence!
44. HulkSmashNow - June 30th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Shouldn’t this be the “Top 15 Strange ‘Christian’ Candies?” Where are the Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Scientologist, Mormon candies? These are the only fifteen weird religion-based candies in the entire world? Do we have to keep bashing these people? Not all of them are fundamentalist, hate-filled wackos.
45. Mark - June 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Candies to be created:
1. Malachi’s Chocolate Dung in your Faces (splatter on your face and lick it off!) (See Malachi 2:3)
Please add your own!
46. Polly Odyssey - June 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
“Noah’s Nuggets”? No thanks.
47. Moe Shinola - June 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Happy B-Day Listverse!! Yay!!! Maybe you could come out with a commemorative religious candy, jfrater. Maybe your own Bible fortune cookies… “Listverses”!
48. Anon And On - June 30th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I thought gluttony was a deadly sin…
49. CK2005 - June 30th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
“mmmm…sacra-licious.”
lol that’s wonderful
I would like to see some from other religions too haha
50. jfrater - June 30th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
CK2005: I am not sure islam would have any - they are not allowed to make images of Mohammed or they get murdered.
51. nikki - June 30th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
i think i’m the first to notice, but the #9 is listed twice and there is no 10
52. jfrater - June 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
nikki: oops - good spotting - thanks
I have fixed it now.
53. Cedestra - June 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Oh, I had heard of Testamints before. I was in Nunsense III (I played Sister Mary Annette, the puppet) and we used them as pre-show gifts for the audience.
Hmmm- I know it’s candy only, but I wonder about hot-crossed buns. And how different are Jesus canes from candy canes?
54. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
WWJE (What would Jesus eat)?
Now you know.
55. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
“Noah’s nuggets: Get two of each in your mouth today!”
O.O
56. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
“That’s right, He Lives…now in six delicious flavors!”
57. seeker - June 30th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
You might view this negatively as the cheap commodification of faith, but you could also look at it as people who are not bound by fearful religious or superstitious prohibitions.
Now that we’ve got Judeo/Christian candies out of the way (obviously, the author must think that this is the only religion out there), how about some others:
choco buddha
Admittedly, it’s hard to find such kitsch from other faiths…
58. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
How many licks does it take to get to eternal damnation?
59. Foxy - June 30th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
What happened to the India list? I thought it was lovely!
60. Rosa - June 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
The Bible Gum looks pretty good. It’s one of the more clever names; I mean, Noah’s Nuggets???
61. purdnasty - June 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
hey wow that’s cool, to do this with all christian candy, had you done it with any other religion you would have gotten ripped apart becase everyone would have said you were discriminating.
62. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Testamints? Meh, I personally prefer Amen-tos.
63. Mom424 - June 30th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Those Asian guys have it all figured out. Take their surplus or substandard candies/wares, print some pseudo Christian message/name on them and ship them to the USA.
Maybe there aren’t many of examples of this kind of stuff for other religions because it is tacky and disrespectful? I dunno, but jelly bellies in the name of Christ is just a bit much. Ju Jubes for Jehovah anyone?
I do know that this kind of cashing in on Religion has been going on since there was Religion. Relics 4-sale, Cheap.
64. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Great list, but where’s the Blood of Christ-Aid(TM)? Just add (holy) water!
65. seeker - June 30th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I guess there will be no Islamic pork pops
66. Scarr - June 30th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Ew, Bible bars sound nasty, what the heck, how do you incorporate olive oil and barley into candy?!
67. seeker - June 30th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
how do you incorporate olive oil and barley into candy?!
Well, it’s not a candy per se, but a nutrition bar. Just think ‘biblical granlola.’ BTW, have you ever looked at all the strange oils in health bars?
68. Scarr - June 30th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Meh, I’m not to into ingredients, but I guess they could use it in bars for whatever purpose. It just makes it sound like.. sort of like a take 5, with all the different prominent flavors, olive oil being one of them.
69. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
“Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s Cross Pops… get your own today!”
70. Lizzie - June 30th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Wow. I’m speechless.
I can’t work out if that’s sacreligious or commercialism at it lowest point.
It takes alot to creep out an athiest….but you succeeded.
Oh, and Happy 1st Birthday Listverse. Congrats Jamie.
71. Kreachure - June 30th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
All this is living proof that if they gave out candy-flavored hosts instead of plain ones for the Holy Communion, more people would go to church.
72. HexenBexen - June 30th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I wouldn’t mind a mouthful of Noah Nuggets right about now.
73. HexenBexen - June 30th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
*Noah’s
74. Sunshine - June 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I prefer my candy with little ingravings of devils and rotten corpses.
75. nic - June 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
if all candies are like these then no dentist would be christians…
76. Anderi - June 30th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Let me guess… All this crap is from the good ole US of A?…
It’s funny how they’ll condemn you for insulting their religion yet feel free to suck on the cross that Jesus died on!…
77. diogenes - June 30th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
the Testamints are a joint buisness venture with Tom Waits and one of his family members. I saw him selling the idea on David Letterman.And I think he sang “chocolate jesus” on the same show.
for true.
but Cat Stevens had an album with a chocolate (golden alluminum wrapped) Buddha.
some plausible ideas:
“baby jesus gummies” somewhere I’m sure, but I hope not.
maybe not so religious but, how-bout the “black licorice leviathan” I hereby copyright this one.
maybe “Loki Licorice” is more fitting albeit outplace outatime.
what am I doing? I’m not religious.
78. Daithi - June 30th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Bible Bars are a good idea imo! Good selling point!
79. diogenes - June 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
p.s.
I know how Micheal Jackson can make back his monies. or could have any how.
80. thunderchicken - June 30th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
just wondering if the spelling error (whereby the jesus-centric testamints becomes the now sacrilegious testi-mints) was deliberate? because its funny as hell.
81. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
S_R has not yet weighed in on this? I’m surprised.
At Hanukkah, you can get chocolate foil-wrapped candy called gelt. They look like gold coins.
82. Mike - June 30th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
And the lord said, “Thou shalt eat my candies, or I shall strike thee down upon the with candy crosses, for you will know I am the lord!!!”
83. Sidereus - June 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I had heard of the Bible Bar, but the others are new to me. It figures, since Christian stuff has been so commercialized. I feel a little silly thinking there may have been candies from other religions with the title: “Top 15 Strange Religious Candies”. Might have substituted “Christian” for “Religious”.
84. ohrmets - June 30th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
haha, where do you come up with these crazy lists?
85. MPW - June 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
They’re all blasphemous:)
86. MPW - June 30th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
However, I wouldn’t mind buying the jelly beans just to have those amazingly awesome bible figures
87. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Where can I go to get these? Fun Party favors
88. Mike - June 30th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
This is probably the dumbest list on this website.
Why are they all Christian candies? There are plenty of other religions out there.
89. Vera Lynn - June 30th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Mike Find them and tell us. Make your own list. I’d like to read that one, too.
90. ty - June 30th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Noah’s Nuggets are sandy, salty, and a little hairy.
91. Rusty - June 30th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
So this is the counter to the ‘Devil’s Candy’ list - ‘Top 10 Most Disgusting Candies Ever.’
“Jesus wants your breath to be minty fresh.
You can save your soul while freshening your breath with our yummy new Testamints. Each of the approximately 145 mints, in three devilishly delicious flavors, is imprinted with a cross and comes wrapped in a quotable bible verse to freshen your spirit. So, take up the sword of virtue against your unholy halitosis. This is one time when it’s good to yield to temptation.
Testamints
item M5646
$11.95 ea.”
Slightly less disappointing than other mints.
Go Tom Waits’ cousin (any man whose cousin throws confetti on himself is my hero).
92. Cedestra - June 30th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Could anyone who often posts to listverse please contact me at Nerikasne@hotmail.com? I am coming up with a little birthday present for Jamie/the site. Sorry for the repetition; I’m posting this on all active lists.
93. alucard - June 30th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Happy Birthday LISTVERSE!!!
Thank you very much JAMIE for providing me (us) such a beautiful site, more power man! heres to listverse (opens a Chteau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion 1996)
94. Clouds - July 1st, 2008 at 4:41 am
Hi all. On the subject of businesses not thinking things all the way through (Noah’s Nuggets, hehe). We have a christian bookstore in South Africa called CUM Books. The acronym CUM actually stands for the afrikaans (1 the 15 South African official languages) ‘CHRISTELIKE UITGEWERS MAATSKAPPY’ which translated to english is ‘Christian Publishers Company’. It is supposed to be pronounced ‘Koom’, but I alsways forget that which has led to a few embarrassing situations at church socials.
95. Kazorek - July 1st, 2008 at 5:12 am
its not so much the cross shaped suckers or bribing kids with candy to get them to read scripture, but the puns. the horrible puns. i wonder if trivializing this stuff makes it easier on peoples conscience when they brainwash their kids
96. Bob - July 1st, 2008 at 7:07 am
ringtailroxy, why do you assume kids are stupid? Were you stupid as a kid? (Are you now?) Are your kids stupid? Were you able to figure out how to have any?
Kids know the difference between fun make-believe traditions and universal truth. Sorry you can’t tell the difference.
97. funnyman - July 1st, 2008 at 9:49 am
Who is Jesus Jandals and why would I want to walk with him? (and for those who only see #8 after it’s corrected to Walking with Jesus Sandals, or to those who may think I’m blasphemous, it used to say Walking with Jesus Jandals, I am just surprised sp “error” made it to triple digit comment area). Always cool lists though!
98. Cyn - July 1st, 2008 at 10:05 am
funnyman -
scroll up thru comments and you’ll find the reference to Urban Dictionary’s definition of jandals.
99. funnyman - July 1st, 2008 at 10:48 am
Thanks Cyn…
How I missed that I’ll never know. I should have known it would have been corrected by the time I spied it if it were truly incorrect…. =)
100. CanadianGuy - July 1st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I like how people are freaking out over jandals. I havent heard that term since backpacking NZ. In NZ and Oz, what we call sandals, they call jandals. It wasnt a spelling error.
101. Cyn - July 1st, 2008 at 3:14 pm
funnyman -
generally i at least scan lists to make sure they’re alright. okay, so sometimes things get past even me. *insert rollz eyes smilie*
so i had to Google ‘jandals’ cuz i thought it was a typo too! see..even i learn stuff at LV.
102. Dane - July 1st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I think the cross-shaped suckers are my favorite. Talk about a phallic symbol.
103. Rusty - July 1st, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Worthy addition to the list are surely ‘Last Supper After-Dinner Mints’!
Packet of 13, one may contain traces of arsenic…
104. ringtailroxy - July 2nd, 2008 at 6:01 am
~96. Bob ~
“ringtailroxy, why do you assume kids are stupid?”
no. but children believe wholeheartedly what their parents tell them up to a certain age… and young children will mimic their parents behavior and mannerisms.
“Were you stupid as a kid?”
no. I taught myself how to read by the age of 4, and had been in advanced placement classes since 2nd grade. (I also figured out Santa could not exist by the time I was 6) But as a child, I believed what my parents told me as truth.
“(Are you now?)”
NO. I carry a 3.87 GPA and was invited to join the honors society at the college I just tranfered from. I also run a non-profit orginization.
“Are your kids stupid?”
No. I don’t have any children-by choice. I am responsible enough, as a citizen of this planet, to recognise the Earth is having a hard enough time supporting the 6.6 BILLION human inhabitants that are already here.
“Were you able to figure out how to have any?”
I have figured out how to prevent myself from having any children until I am completely emotionally, finacially, and ethically mature enough to do so.
“Kids know the difference between fun make-believe traditions and universal truth. Sorry you can’t tell the difference.”
Actually, children DO NOT know the difference when they are very young. Watch any unenlightened child cry when they learn Santa isn’t real.
And exactly what is “universal truth”?
Truth is simply a concept that an individual accepts as being concrete and indisputable. There is no such thing as universal truth. It is completely subjective.
ringtailroxy
105. Vera Lynn - July 2nd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Ringtailroxy Good work. Keep it up. We need outstanding, responsible, educated people all over the world. Cool.
106. Shadow - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:48 am
Could “Pop-rocks” be considered religious candy? You know; ’cause they explode and all.
107. Denzell - July 4th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Bah…
108. AmandaIndiana - July 4th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Imagine my mother’s delight at seeing a gooey cross hanging out of her grandson’s mouth. Oh, you don’t know her. Sorry. But you may know people who would berate a stranger for wearing a toe ring with a tiny cross on it, and that’s her.
I guess “Crucifix on a Stick” would be considered a redundant brand name, but I can already hear the jingle.
109. Candy_Man - July 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Used to sell the Testamints, but now the only place you can get them is on line. www.testamints.net/order.
110. Candy_Man - July 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Sorry on the above link. I just tried it and the period at the end of the line has also been saved as part of the link. If you want to order them try this:
www.testamints.net/order
111. crosszero - July 4th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
So this candies must be what Ned Flanders gives to his children hehe
112. Lilith Hel - July 5th, 2008 at 1:45 am
christianity trying to make a buck? i’m so NOT surprised.
113. whitewolf - July 6th, 2008 at 6:07 am
oke these are some weird candy’s
114. Nik - July 7th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Testi-mints!!!!! LOL
115. SERBIAN-KINGS - July 10th, 2008 at 7:37 am
lol
mayb ppl think the candy brings their kids closer to god
i mean uve heard of a mother say my child is possesed when they r bad [u know]
mayb they bye them this thinkign the demons will cum out hahaha
ajde peace
116. brandi - July 12th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16. Christians are saved by grace, not by works. Eating certain candy, even if it is tacky, will not send us to eternal death/Hell. God Bless You.
117. Bubina - July 20th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Nutrition God’s way? /head-desk.
118. Christina - October 5th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
The Christian bookstore where I work has actually sold some of these. I honestly don’t know whether I find it hilarious or sad. Probably a bit of both. I remember eating sour candies that said O taste and see that the Lord is good. I’m thankful those candies were not my only exposure to the Lord is all I have to say.