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10 Truly Awful Ways To Be Killed By An Animal

TyB . . . Comments

Nature is beautiful, but it can also be deadly, and sometimes, just downright nasty. Here’s a list of ten horrible ways in which animals can kill you. There are many more, but I’m sure these would be enough to give anyone nightmares.

10

Electrocution
Electric eel

Electric-Eel

Electric eels are elongated, fresh water fish, native to the Amazon and Orinoco rivers in South America. They are not really eels, but a kind of knifefish (and related to catfish). They are among the deadliest denizens of the South American rivers. It has not one, but three specialized organs to produce electric currents strong enough (600 volts, sometimes more) to stun or kill an adult human. It is believed that many “unexplained” disappearances of people while swimming in the Amazon and Orinoco rivers, could be due to them being stunned by an electric eel and drowning, or even, dying because of the eel’s discharge itself. Many of these deaths are often blamed on attacks by predatory animals such as piranha or caiman.

The electric eel doesn’t eat human beings; it feeds on smaller fish, crabs and small mammals. It only attacks in self defense, and handling an electric eel or even entering the water wherever these fish are common should be avoided at all costs.

9

Constriction
Python, anaconda

Anaconda

Pythons and boas (anacondas being a kind of boa) are not venomous. They have very sharp teeth to hold on to their prey, but they rely on constriction for the actual kill. This means, they coil around the victim (once they have secured it with their teeth) and squeeze so that the unfortunate animal doesn’t have any space to breathe. Every time the victim tries to inhale, the snake squeezes harder. This deadly “hug” is so powerful that even blood can’t flow. As a matter of fact, death comes usually because of cardiac arrest/stroke, and not asphyxia as was once believed.

Although some smaller snakes (such as king snakes and gopher snakes) use constriction to kill prey, pythons and anacondas are the best known constrictors, and the scariest, too, since these cold-blooded predators have been known to kill and eat humans once in a while.


8

Drowning and Dismembering
Crocodile

Crocodile

Among large predatory animals, crocodiles are the ones that kill the greatest number of people every year. They are often said to be among the few animals that still see humans as perfectly suitable prey. To deal with large prey, crocodiles use the “death roll”. Called by some “the most powerful killing mechanism” of any animal, it consists of the crocodile holding its prey with its jaws (usually by the neck or a limb), dragging it to the water and spinning its entire body; this is usually enough to dismember the unfortunate victim. They can do this on dry land as well.

The scariest part is that the crocodile really doesn’t care if the prey is alive or dead when it starts feeding; by doing a death-roll, it is really trying to tear the prey into smaller, easier to swallow pieces. Many humans lucky enough to escape a crocodile attack, have lost entire limbs to this devastating feeding method. But most victims die of blood loss, shock or simply drown before they have a chance to escape.

7

Bitten through the Brain
Jaguar

Jaguar-42

Most big cats kill prey by strangulation. From the house cat to the tiger and lion, they all go for the neck/throat in most cases, biting so hard and holding so tight that the victim either chokes or has a stroke. In some cases, the bite is deep enough to pierce the windpipe, the jugular vein, or even to snap the neck vertebrae. It often takes a few minutes for a big cat to strangle a large prey to death. But the jaguar is a completely different story. This formidable cat, found in Mexico and Central and South America, has been known to strangle some prey once in a while, but it usually goes for a faster, deadlier method; it simply bites through the skull and pierces the brain, causing instant death. It has particularly long and thick fangs, and incredibly powerful jaws to do this (actually, its bite is much stronger than a lion’s or a tiger’s, relative to the cat’s size).

The skull bite allows the jaguar to kill armored prey such as caimans, as well as the, now extinct, glyptodonts (giant relatives to armadillos), and they have also been known to use this killing method successfully against feral bulls weighing almost half a ton. You could ask, if the jaguar kills its prey so quickly and efficiently, why is it in the list? Shouldn’t the other cats be worse, since it takes minutes for them to strangle prey? Maybe, but it seems that for some not so big, or not so armored prey, the jaguar doesn’t bite through the top of the skull, but rather sinks its fangs into the victims ears! Can you imagine the fangs of a giant cat stabbing through your ears and going into your brain? That’s the stuff of nightmares.


6

Gutted by Giant Bird
Cassowary

Cassowary-Attack-2-2

The Cassowary is the only bird that made it to this list. Sure, protective parent owls clawing your eyes out and causing you to fall down a tree to your death (it has happened) are scary, but these birds are usually harmless unless you do something really stupid. While the vegetarian Cassowary (found in the rainforests of Australia and New Guinea) is usually a shy animal, and will try to avoid confrontations, males can be extremely aggressive at times, and zookeepers agree that cassowaries are among the most dangerous creatures to keep in a zoo.

Listed by the Guinness World Records as the world’s most dangerous bird, the Cassowary has an enormous, dagger-like claw on the second toe of each foot. When confronted, it will leap into the air and kick its enemy, kung fu-style, using the deadly claws to cause serious injury. It can, literally, claw your guts out. And even if it doesn’t, the kick is mighty enough to rupture your internal organs and cause massive internal bleeding and death. Needless to say, you should never approach one of these birds, particularly if they are captive or protecting their chicks.

5

Having your Face Ripped off
Sloth Bear

Sloth-Bear

Sloth bears are among the least known bear species. They are found mostly in India and Sri Lanka, where natives fear them even more than tigers or snakes. And with good reason. It has been said that these bears maul at least one person per week in India, and they often seem to attack without provocation. They feed mostly on ants and termites, and only very rarely eat meat, but they seem to dislike humans (which shouldn’t be surprising, since these bears have been subjected to centuries of hunting and cruelty, e.g, dancing bears). They are also short sighted and easily taken by surprise. If confronted, a sloth bear is as likely to attack as it is to run away.

Being mauled by any kind of bear is a horrible way to go, but the Sloth bear is particularly nasty due to its trademark killing method; it uses its teeth and its incredibly long, sharp claws to literally rip the victim’s face off. Those who are lucky enough to escape death after a Sloth bear attack, are usually badly scarred for life, and often left without one of both eyes, nose, lips, etc.


4

Choking on Ants
Siafu ant

1147143608

Also known as the driver ant, this African species is the only insect known to actually attack and devour humans, although you have to be very unlucky to die in a Siafu attack. These ants are very slow, and blind; unless you are unable to stay out of their way, you really don’t have to be scared of them. Usually these ants feed on smaller animals, but attacks on sleeping people, babies left unattended, and at least one drunken man who broke a leg and couldn’t run away from the ant army, have all been reported.

Domestic animals such as cows and goats who were left tied to a pole for the night, and thus rendered unable to escape, have also been known to be devoured by Siafu ants. What makes these insects so scary, is that they can bite and sting, but that’s not the way they kill you. During the attack, they will attempt to go into any opening they can find, including your mouth and nose, and victims are said to die of asphyxia after the ants crawl into your lungs! If that’s not scary…

3

Deadly infection after Rape
Candiru

Candiru-1

Candiru are rather sinister creatures to start with. These small, slender, almost transparent catfish relatives are among the few hematophagous vertebrates, feeding on the blood of other fish. They do this by going into their gills and anchoring themselves to them with a series of hooked spines they have in their bodies. A severe candiru infestation can weaken and eventually kill the unfortunate victim. They also feed on death fish, eating them from the inside out. Although candiru used to be a little known denizen of the South American rivers, they have lately gained some fame as the most feared fish in the Amazon. That’s right; more so than piranhas and electric eels.

This is because, sometimes, candiru will swim into the urethra or anus of both men and women, and become stuck in there via the hooked spines. This is very painful, and potentially deadly, because when the human victim leaves the water, the fish dies and its body starts to rot. The resulting infection has caused many deaths in remote parts of South America where there aren’t any hospitals, since a delicate surgical procedure is needed to remove the fish from your private parts. Ouch.


2

Being Eaten Alive
Wolves, hyenas

Hyena-05

Big cats will usually make sure you’re dead before they start feeding on your flesh. They are perfectly equipped to kill their victim quickly and with no mess. However, some of their distant Carnivorous relatives are a completely different story. Although they kill smaller prey by violently shaking them and breaking their spine, wolves and hyenas lack any efficient killing weapons to deal with larger prey, so they usually don’t waste time and start eating as soon as the victim is brought down.

Indeed, it is not uncommon for a large animal to be still alive when the wolf pack or hyena clan is already munching on its intestines. Of course, death follows soon after, due to shock or blood loss, but still, the idea of being alive while a snarling group of voracious predators feeds on your entrails is particularly disturbing to most people, hence the wolf/hyena’s place as #2 in this list.

1

Starvation
Tapeworm

Tapeworm

Tapeworms are gigantic (up to 12 meters long or more depending on the species) although very slender parasites, whose eggs or larvae can be ingested via eating raw or badly cooked meat. Once ingested, the creature will anchor itself to the walls of the host’s intestine and absorb all the nutrients from the host’s food; in other words, you eat, your intestine absorbs the nutrients, and the tapeworm steals the nutrients for itself. The result? You can eat incredible amounts of food and you will still be malnourished.

If left untreated, a tapeworm infection can eventually lead to death by starvation, no matter how much you ate. And just in case you thought it couldn’t be worse, sometimes the tapeworm larvae can find their way into your brain, causing seizures, and all sorts of neurological problems. So, having seizures due to a worm infestation in your brain before you starve to death due to the big adult worm in your gut. The tapeworm just had to be #1.



  • henrysmyagent

    Great list! The writer used some grim wording to describe how these animals, and insects, kill their prey. Well written and enjoyable list.

  • oohwee

    I covered my dick after reading 3

    • ha same here, that thing is notorius on this website and people dont believe me when i tell them about it and what it does

      • moomin

        it has only been recorded once! many people believe that it happens all the time but it just not true. not to say it wouldnt be horrendous

        • Yriel

          it was actually in a women that it happened, the fish is too small to fit in a Urethra and that is scientifically proven. Read it up

          • tealc

            nope, it happened. i watched the documentary detailing how the surgeon used a previously unknown technique to remove the worm from a guys shaft, using some kind of loop-ended syringe tool thingy

  • bluesman87

    Cool list nice to have another Tyb list . All these animals are scary as shit!! The picture of the Jaguar is beautiful .____One correction constrictors , squeez when you exhale preventing you from breathing in.

    • TyB

      True. Sorry bout the mistake.

  • alex

    great list Jfater :DDDD

    • megusta

      dude…this is TyB’s list

  • Ego

    Wish I didn't read this before going to bed o_O … But great list nonetheless!

  • marto

    thanx for the HEADS UP,ESPECIALLY AS REGARDS JAGUARS.

  • abx

    excellent lol

  • ModernSwinger

    Whats up with these American-centric lists!? Many of these animals can be seen in American zoos across the country. Just kidding awesome list.

  • Eric

    Awesome list!

  • PeterJM7

    great list, the worst is the crocodile in my opinion because you cant do anything once it grabs you.

    • coolidge

      Dig at its eyes. In this way, they are like sharks. The eyes are the most delicate parts of the crocodile and digging at them with fingers will likely trigger a response. At least, that's what I read.

      • whtknt

        Crocs and alligators both have the same weakness; their jaw muscles are one-way. They can snap shut with amazing force, but even a minimal amount of pressure can keep them closed. Once the mouth is closed (hopefully without any of your appendages inside), clamp the jaws shut. Then all you have to watch out for is the feet (those claws are nasty). This will also keep you out of reach of the tail (which can strike with enough force to break bones).

    • oliveralbq

      @peterjm7: "because you cant do anything once it grabs you."

      you can shoot the fucking thing.
      if youre gonna be in the vicinity of a croc, take a desert eagle 5.0
      jk jk ;)

      initially i was mostly kidding, but as i have to go down and spend time in a swamp near grand isle, louisiana tomorrow, i may just borrow my friend's piece

      i was just going to help clean up the mess made by those morons we like to call bp since i'm off tomorrow, but now all i can think of is the fucking death roll, every time i close my eyes for more than 3 seconds.
      *-* thanks tyler, and peter *-* :/
      :)

      • deeeziner

        If it helps…..

        Aren't there water moccasins there too?

        • oliveralbq

          oh, thats super — thanks. :/
          and the impromptu game of 'corrupt a wish' is a nice touch :)

          i wish: i could quit thinking about the croc death roll

          granted: but now water moccasins are in your shoe

          • deeeziner

            Sorry Oliver, I couldn't help myself.

            But on a more serious note…Giving up your time for the sake of the clean-up is a really cool (and selfless) thing to do.

            Thanks for your efforts in helping to undo the catastrophe.

          • oliveralbq

            deeez — although i know it is of some help (albeit miniscule in the big picture), it just feels/…. ….. …
            um — i guess like cutting grass on a football field with pinking shears

            and the really sucky thing is that *no one* has a good idea of the scope of this.

            and im sick of seeing sad pellicans and horseshoe crabs

            a few people have asked me further detail about this–
            seggie and lifeschool and caroleeeo —
            but its too damn complicated to rattle on and on about it in comments — even in an older thread like this — ill probably just start something on it in forums on it this weekend….

    • ellen

      squeeze its eyes and it will let you go

  • Chris

    Awesome list. I love these gruesome lists and knowing just how horrible it might be to be killed by an animal. There was some guy in Illinois recently that was mauled and half eaten by vicious domestic dogs. I reckon that would be pretty horrible.

  • Pee

    Our teacher in biology told a rather grim story.. There was a Japanese man who like to eat sashime (raw fish) over the years, then one day he complained a nasty stomach pains. So, he was brought to the hospital, our teacher told us. When the doctors, scanned him, they found irregularities in his stomach. To make the story short, they operated him, and voila! What they found is a 1.5 foot long tapeworm in his stomach. The tapeworm presumably got its nutrients from too much eating raw fish..

    I have never eaten sushi since then.

    • Julius

      He probably didn't get the tapeworm from the sashimi, but rather from some undercooked meat. Once its inside, I don't think it really matters what you eat .

    • r4w

      that's a just rumor from the internet. http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl-brainwor… read this and eat sushi again from now on.

    • Yay, that's why I never eat fish, period!!!

    • Liz

      Well, first of all you spelled Sashimi wrong, second of all, in Japan they are so careful about the freshness and edibility of their fish, one is extremely unlikely to get sick from eating it. You are like 100xs more likely to become ill from eating raw fish in USA than in Japan.

      And I think your'e foolish if the slim chance that you could get a tapeworm makes you reject sushi despite the health benefits of a diet of raw fish. You can also get e coli from fruit – do you stop eating that?

  • astraya

    A slightly comforting thought is that my chances of encountering any of these in a major city are pretty remote.

    • bluesman87

      i was reading the darwin awards ,i went away during Dec and i was swimming a few kms (and during the same time frame) upstream from this years winner some lady who got eaten by a crock after being warned not to swim there . But we were cliff diving in a gorge and apparently its too cold where we were swimming for crocs , they like the warmer water further SE near the Kruger park. FMTFO!! ( Freaked me the f*&k out!!)____So wait til you go on holiday i understand you're in Aus, plenty of beasties to catch you on vacation!! At least we dont have those crazy ass birds!! :-)

    • Are you Australian? Cause I've heard somewhere that Australia has many deadly poisonous creatures like the bulldog ant and some really nasty spiders. :0

  • BethanM

    oh this is a scary and fantastic list!
    no. 3 made me clench! o.o

  • fazrin

    what about die while having sex with a stallion?well,that’s what happened to Mr.Hands…but that isnt that awful i think.he has fun first with the stallion giant dick!lol…

    Btw,isnt that cassowary has been featured in the previous list?wew

    • He died after the event, actually, from a punctured colon that he refused to have treated at the hospital.

      • His ignorance of refusing to be treated, kinda made him die of shame, literally, I'd say…

  • Kitsune

    For a vegetarian the Cassowary kicks some serious ass.

    And i think that's pretty cool what the jaguar does to kill it's prey.I had a dream last night that i got out of a submarine and there was a small jaguar there,it followed me around for a while,it never caused any trouble,it was a polite jaguar.

  • Davey Gravey

    Great list! Just so you know, #1 on the list was actually a prescribed weight loss cure during the 16th -19th centuries!

    • hbs

      Actually, I've heard, with no solid proof, that some horse jockeys used, and may still use tapeworms to maintain a low weight. Pretty crazy that people would intentionally ingest these things. :)

  • crewzer

    being eaten by a school of piranhas seems like a bad way to go….or also bein bitten by a snake in a very remote area…that would be a slow and painful death

    • Only if the snake was venomous :P

      • TyB

        Not necessarily. The bite of large, non-venomous snakes (including constrictors) can be very dangerous too, since they often carry dangerous bacteria in their saliva. An untreated bite by one of these snakes in a remote area can kill you all the same.

        • deeeziner

          You both are mentioning being bitten in a remote area, and I just keep on thinking "On the butt?!?".

  • Jaws

    What about the oceanic White tip shark, if you’re unlucky enough to be stranded in open water a White tip will probably turn up, then it will circle you before bumping into you and then devouring you. I think that this sounds scarier then being attacked by a great White.

  • Julius

    "sometimes the tapeworm larvae can find their way into your brain, causing seizures, and all sorts of neurological problems" wasn't that in a Dr. House episode?
    cool list as usual TyB

    • oliveralbq

      yeah, man —–
      it was the pilot —

      first episode of the series — which started in—-what,"?? 2004?
      maybe 2003…..

      • blimbaam

        yep with its mri scans and lumbar punctures, house rules!
        lol got to learn a lot more abt biology from house than from school.
        i believe 2004 was the year

  • Arsnl

    How about being stung to death by those huge japanese wasps.

  • ALJID

    For the tapeworm, all I can say is–yuck…LOL!

  • nathaaan90

    Brilliant list, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I didn't think tapeworms could cause death, very scary.

    • It's not exactly has described in the article. You can only get a tapeworm in your brain (or anywhere in your body that isn't you digestive tract) by consuming tapeworm eggs (just after being pooped out by the host) before they turn into cysts. In other words, by eating feces or food contaminated by someone who hasn't washed their hands. At that stage, the tapeworm eggs are small enough to make it into your bloodstream.

  • Pee

    @Julius

    Our teacher told us, that every ‘raw meat’, including uncooked fish can house parasites such as tapeworms. The catch is; you must cook meat everytime you eat it.

    I found this, interesting article from StraightDope, a very interesting read.

    http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/399/can-you-get-worms-from-eating-sushi

  • Jesper

    About #2..To my knowledge there has never been a reported case of anyone being killed by wolves.. so perhaps it doesn't really make sense to talk about it if it never happens. And it should also be noted that hyenas actually are a member of the cat-like family Feliformia (as in "feline").. but whether that makes them a "distant relative" is a matter of perspective I guess.

    #5 is worst.. bears are freaking creepy evil beings :-S

    • Randall

      Couple corrections: 1) Feliformia is a *suborder* (of the order Carnivora) NOT a "family." In addition, it does not imply that hyenas are therefore closely related to cats. It simply means that certain aspects of their anatomy (specifically, as I understand it, their skull structure and placement of teeth) are "cat-like." Therefore, they fit into the Feliformia suborder rather than the Canine suborder—but in superficial appearance and in nearly all manners of behavior, hyenas are of course much more like canines than cats.
      2) There are no reported cases of wolves killing people *in modern times.* However, wolves were said to have attacked people – and killed several – as recently as the early 19th century. How well documented these stories are is questionable—and I certainly agree that wolves, by and large, do not view humans as prey, and are not as great a danger to man as certain other species. But let's not kid ourselves that under the right circumstances, (wrong circumstances?) a pack of wolves *would not* kill a lone, unprotected human in the wild. In fact they'd be perfectly capable of doing so.

  • Josh

    That ‘Candiru’ catfish just gives me the creeps….can’t imagine my privates being amputated

  • jediknight

    Amazing list and written great.. I’m glad I Live in the UK, we don’t have any vicious animals like this

    • st. Patrick

      Yeah, the IRA took over

      • Lifeschool

        IRA? Ohh – that's soooo last century.

      • grrr

        and wormed there way into politics…

  • Magnumto

    TyB, GREAT list! Although I enjoy most lists on this site, these are among my favorites. A couple of these put together (cassowary + wolves/hyenas) reminded me of the movie Jurassic Park, where ol' Doc Whatsisname was describing being attacked by a velociraptor: "The thing is, Timmy, you're still alive when they start to eat you!" Aaaack!

    • TyB

      His name was Dr. Grant. How do I know? I love the Jurassic Park movies. :) Glad you liked the list!

  • fazrin

    ”being eaten by a school of piranhas seems

    like a bad way to go ….”-crewzer

    @crewzer,

    no evidence of

    piranhas ever devouring a live human – although

    the scientists have seen piranhas scavenge off

    carcasses of humans and other animals already

    dead in the water.They

    are scavengers more than predators, eating

    mainly fish, plant material and insects.

    • Lifeschool

      yeah, most Piranhas are technically veggys – but at least three types eat meat – they look better in the movies.

  • IdontCare

    Nice list, in the sense of it being well put together. Creepy to consider the possibilities though… What about maybe the Bombadier Beatle? I mean, couldn’t a grouo potentially fry you to death? Or Red Fire Ant stings?

  • Number 3… "They also feed on death fish, eating them from the inside out." Shouldn't it read, "dead fish"?.. Maybe I missed something. Excellent list, once again, TyB! Missed you.

    • TyB

      Yes, it should be "dead". My mistake, sorry :)

  • jakeryder

    I can't wait for the follow-up. Ten truly fun ways to be killed by an animal.

  • lalabhaiya

    This is the list of my worst nightmares. What bad ways to die… And what pain there must be. Amazing list… But scared the shit out of me.

  • Alarpup

    The Sloth Bear = a real-life Koh the Face-Stealer (for all you Avatar fans out there). Anyway, absolutely fantastic list…not to mention utterly terrifying. I saw a Discovery channel program one time when I was little and they were talking about the tapeworm…it scared the crap out of me. Truth be told, it still does. :P

  • oouchan

    Awesome list as always, TyB! I would certainly choose to have a quick death instead of being eaten alive or slowly strangled. Scary stuff!
    I wonder if as a bonus or honorable mention sharks and chimpanzees could fit in with this list?

    • deeeziner

      I was thinking about chimps as I read about the sloth bear. Amazing that some people still feel the need to keep a monkey in their life.

  • remote snatcher

    awsome horrifying list. #3 gave me shivers. i’ll prefer a bullet to the skull any day

  • tessiesmom

    TyB, what an interesting and great read! Although I thought I knew a fair amount about animals, this list gave me an eudcation. [and nightmares :)] Bravo!

  • gabi319

    Had this been a true story, I think death by elephant poo would have been a far more awful way to be killed by an animal.
    http://www.snopes.com/critters/malice/feces.asp

  • Lifeschool

    Very well done list I thought; highly informative and well written – gripping stuff.

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    • Omg! Rofl! :-D

      Cheers, Lifehouse!

    • deeeziner

      Wasn't there a US serial killer (maybe in Florida) who disposed of his victims via alligator?

      There was definitely a killer in Washington state who used pigs to keep his property less cluttered.

    • Amanda

      Haha, that is too funny! You just made my day.

  • The list was interesting but the factual errors (the idea that tapeworm larvae can make it to your brain when only eggs can, or that condas are one of many boa species that can kill humans when other boa species are considerably smaller) and overuse of commas made it difficult for me to read.
    I would have to say that blood poisoning caused by a death fish in my urethra would probably be the worst way to go out of the 10 "options" listed above.

    • TyB

      I never said that many boa species can kill humans. I only said anacondas are one kind of boa. To my knowledge, only anacondas and red-tailed boas have killed humans (although the latter are way too small to actually eat their victim).
      Sorry about the commas, tho.

  • hanktherapper

    I didn't think large snakes could eat people. I always heard they only eat head first and can't get past the shoulder blades.

    • deeeziner

      Whether or not the snake can eat my corpse after the final squeeze doesn't much matter to me.

      Dead is dead. And the time it would take for death to occur, without being able to do anything about it must be a horrible torture.

    • TyB

      As much as people likes to say that giant snakes can´t eat people, (I don´t know why), they can and do sometimes. But yes, usually they only manage to swallow children or small adults.

    • whtknt

      Large snakes can and do eat people, though it is rare. There have been recorded instances of large snakes swallowing crocodiles whole. The pressure of constriction is truly amazing, and more than sufficient to crush to powder every bone in your body. So the shoulder blades… no sweat.

      • blimbaam

        the mouth of these constrictors is very flexible, they swallow the entire body and then the very acidic interiors of these snakes starts breaking the body up
        it has also been reported that anacondas have eaten crocs this way, so we humans are easy fodder as compared

  • blake honda

    i think you see make a sequel to this list. you should have the same title but put, "10 more awful…" Instead of putting humans as the ones who are killed, you should put other animals as the victims.

  • Arsnl

    I can imagine those sloth bears talking on a sunday evening:”oh bear, we didnt kill anyone this week. Now our statistics will go to hell”. “what do you want dude? We just got out tappens installed. Do you want to get all bloated?”

    • Packeranatic

      That made my day.

  • Hellcat

    Those Siafu ants are horrific! Imagine being unlucky enough to suffocate on ants/being devoured by them! I hate insects…

  • cmc75

    A violent but quite interesting list. After reading the tapeworm caption, I couldn't help but think of that nasty show "Monsters Inside Me" with all those parasite victims. The idea of worms slithering around inside your head, is the stuff of nightmares.

    I think I would have added, "Blood in the Water". Despite all the pounding and howlering, they come in and…..rip you to pieces! Sharks are predators!

  • I'm sorry, but what about the cone snail?..
    http://library.thinkquest.org/C007974/2_1con.htm

    Very painful way to die, I'd say…

  • thisguy

    10. damn!
    9. damn!
    8. damn!
    7. damn!
    6. damn!
    5. damn!
    4. damn!
    3. DAMN!
    2. damn!
    1. DAMN!
    number 3 and number 1 are horrible

    • Magnumto

      LOL, thisguy! I'm still chuckling!

  • General Tits Von Chodehoffen

    Number 3 is by far the worst! Awesome list!

  • ganstawitnogun

    Great list! i'll be extra careful next time i go explore the nature world

  • gabe

    Awesome list!! Gave me the willies a lil some of those did…

  • Pyderz

    Im really supprised that the number 1 has not been produced as some sort of weight loss scheme in this day and age.

    • MissMeggle

      I’m pretty sure there’s a question about that on yahoo answers. Some girl asking if it’s a good way to lose weight. Some of the questions people ask on there are truly unbelieveable.

  • vanowensbody

    Great list – well researched and well written.

  • gagamonstette

    the tape worm *barf*
    but
    could help loosins a few kilos

    lmao

  • undaunted warrior 1

    A great list from you again TyB very informative and well written.

    Thanks.

  • Quibble: lions will eat their prey alive–there's video of such instances on YouTube. This is in fact a more horrible way to go, since unlike dogs and hyenas, cats take their time while eating.

  • Splendid list!

  • my 2 of my friends contracted tapeworms from a camping trip up in northern B.C eating raw salmon sashimi ( idiots) eitherway one day i got a call to rush over to his house and he said,
    "i'm never gonna ask something like this of you ever again, but i need you to look in my ass hole"
    low and behold when he spread he cheeks there was a squiggly paper-thin worm near the entrance. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

    pills cured him. he's still skinny as hell, but ohhh man

    sidenote: tapeworms a handy diet method perhaps?

    • beetlemier

      You must be a very good friend. I would've told him to bend over and spread in front of a mirror!

      • he bought me dinner and a bottle of wine. bum inspections aren't free in this day and age.

    • oliveralbq

      dopetype — this lends itself to so very many jokes, i barely know where to start ;)

      • it was a really funny time in my life, i remember him acting crazier than usual in the weeks leading up to the assworm discovery and I joked on more than one occasion that he must have a tapeworm telling him to do weird stuff.He claimed that weed would cure it and that he'd just “smoke it out”. It makes me laugh to think of this little rocker stoner worm chilling in his bum with a mini tapeworm bong.*shudder*

  • saayedalam

    parasites are the scariest

  • TyB, another in your long series of FANTASTIC LISTS! Thank you for another educational and interesting start to my day.
    Re: the tapeworm. I remember when I was a kid, and the back pages of the comic books always had advert's for all sorts of (to kids) fascinating and plausible items for sale; X-Ray glasses which were supposed to allow you to see through clothing; hearing devices which would give you "super hearing"; and pills, containing tapeworms, guaranteed to make you lose weight. There were lots of other items, too, but the tapeworm pills really intrigued me. I wasn't fat, not even slightly overweight; I was, in fact, a beanpole. I sincerely desired the tapeworms, however, because I wanted to raise them. I thought they'd be more interesting than an ant farm…hey, I was 10, what did I know?
    Of all the ways to die, above, I think the one that scares me most is…a tie between 2, 4, 5, 6 & 8. 3,7 9 & 10 are all decidedly unpleasant as well. I only leave out number 1 because it seems that it would be discovered by your physician before death became an issue.

    • deeeziner

      "…and pills, containing tapeworms, guaranteed to make you lose weight…."

      Sorry segues, I kind of only skimmed your post before I wrote mine. :)

  • deeeziner

    Don't alligators/crocs also "stash" their dead prey underwater for awhile to help soften it up before devouring?

    * * * *

    I've heard that there are some places where a person can purchase tapeworm eggs to be eaten as a diet aid. If the larvae are able to travel through the body and kill the host these folks must either be uninformed or desperate to lose weight.

    * * * * *

    Thank-you TyB for not including the manta ray in this list. Sorry Steve Irwin.

    * * * * *

    Komodo Dragon—–A large reptile that has spittle seriously contaminated with deadly bacteria. They have been known to bite their prey and then follow it for DAYS waiting for the animal (or human) to succumb to fatal infection.

    * * * * *

    The Candiru is attracted to the smell of human urine, and will beeline to the source. So don't pee in the water!!!!

    • TyB

      The Komodo dragon was recently found to produce actual venom as well.

      And yes, crocodiles can´t chew so if the victim can´t be torn apart easily, they will simply wait until it softens in the water. There is at least one account of a man who survived a crocodile attack and woke up in a half submerged burrow where the crocodile stashed several corpses for later. He managed to escape, but only because the croc wasn´t around at the moment. Dunno if it's true, but it makes a scary story.

    • whtknt

      Steve was killed by a sting ray, not a manta ray. The creature was frightened and lashed out with its tail, the barb of which pierced Irwin's heart. He was likely dead before he even realized what had happened. Manta rays are massive creatures, but their tails lack stingers, rendering them harmless and inoffensive. They are also quite curious, particularly about divers. I've had the privilege of seeing one at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, GA (one of the five aquariums worldwide that house mantas).

      • deeeziner

        Thanks for the correction whtknt.

        So swim with mantas…swim AWAY from stingrays. *two thumbs up and a wink* Got it.

        *Interesting sidenote*–There was at least two other death/injuries from stingrays in other parts of the world the same month that the Croc Hunter was killed. One of the incidents involved a stingray that actually jumped INTO the boat of it's victim.

        • blimbaam

          Isnt the komodo dragon only native to the solomon islands?
          it is quite a ferocious creature, I wonder if the komodo dragon has any natural predators?

          • TyB

            No, the Komodo dragon is found only in Komodo, Flores and some smaller islands in Indonesia. It doesn´t have any natural predators except for larger Komodo dragons (yes, they are cannibalistic and baby Komodos spend most of their time up trees to avoid being eaten by the adults).

  • David

    What about Steve Irwin and the way he was killed by a Stingray? He was stabbed through the heart by that Fish when he died. Surely that`s horrific.

    • witcharachne

      While I totally agree that it would be a shithouse way to die, it's really uncommon for that to happen.

  • whtknt

    Great list, but lest we forget:

    Komodo Dragon: As deeeziner mentioned, the Komodo's mouth is so filthy that victims often die of infection, sometimes lingering for days, with the lizard stalking them the entire while. Of course, if the prey is sufficiently weakened, the lizard may not wait and will begin devouring the victim while it is still alive! And if it finds prey difficult to swallow, it will charge at a nearby rock or tree in an effort to cram the victim down it's throat. Komodos have been known to attack humans, though the attacks are seldom directly fatal.

    Shark: Many sharks can be dangerous, especially if provoked. Like hyenas, sharks don't care if prey is dead when they start attacking and will dismember the victim as he or she flails helplessly, before succumbing to blood loss (which most often precedes drowning).

    Monkey: Death by monkey? Yep. It happens. Despite what some people would have you believe, monkeys are not cute and cuddly. Attacks on humans by wild and even "domesticated" monkeys are surprisingly common, and given that even a "lowly" chimpanzee has as much as five times the strength of a human, well, the odds aren't in our favor. But it gets worse. Many wild monkeys are carriers of a host of deadly viruses, including Ebola. Ebola, for those who don't know, is a fun little virus that causes death in 30 to 90% of those who contract (depending on the exact form). And it isn't a nice death, either. After 5 to 18 days of horrible pain, you begin bleeding from every orifice on your body (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, anus, and other parts), literally bleeding out your internal organs, which the virus has liquefied.

  • I hope Pixar comes out with a Amazon based film starring Carl the Candiru

  • Hellcat

    @whtknt : Damn! How about a list of the 10 worst diseases/viruses to die from. Ebola sounds like a lovely way to die! *barf*

    • whtknt

      I may have to do that one. Ebola is probably the worst I can think of right off the top of my head, but I can think of some that are nearly as gruesome.

      • Lifeschool

        Great idea! – but do check to make sure the LV hasn't covered it already. The LV has a reputation for similar catastrophies of gruesomeness.

        • David

          God, you could go on forever with that.. Smallpox, Anthrax, Cholera, AIDS, Spanish Flu, The Black Death, Malaria, Yellow Fever, Swine Flu, Bird Flu..

  • Armadillotron

    I know you don`t get killed, but what about the Fiery Serpent, that Worm in Africa, which, goes into your penis when you have a piss? Or the Botfly? Oh God.. Makes me feel faint.

    • TyB

      Out of all animals, the botfly is the one I dread the most. It may show up in future lists (altough I shiver at the thought of looking at whatever picture Jamie may use for it).

      As for the fiery serpent, it doesn´t go up your penis (that's the candiru); you drink its eggs accidentally and the adult worm later migrates to your skin. It's very painful and very disgusting but rarely lethal.

  • cooperstownersincanada

    They're all gruesome ways to die, but I would hate to have my face ripped off by a sloth bear.

  • theworldwasonfire

    Nasty Nasty Nasty!!! is rather have my head bitten by a tiger.. quickest.

  • bucketheadrocks

    What about being swallowed alive? Sitting in a stomach, slowly suffocating while suffering from digestive enzyme burns?

    • kidfromvault101

      by me!

  • Marian

    ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

  • Seth.T

    I live in north queensland in Australia and I see a cassawary pretty much everyday once one walked right up to the bus stop I was waiting at…I thought I was gonna die
    anyway great list
    Cheers

  • mike860

    Enjoyed going through the list and learned a few things.

  • alecsdaniel

    great list … messed up, but great!

  • henkoz

    #3 just gave me phobia of bathing :S
    Great list once again!

  • Mimz

    The crocodile and alligators kill their prey, but don't immediately eat. They like to wait a week, or more, in order to soften the flesh of their long gone kill before devouring.

    Either or, all of these creatures were enough to scare me away from Africa [both land and water], South America, and other parts of the globe. Creepy.

  • blimbaam

    Except for the talons, dont most of the larger flightless birds have a deadly kick?
    emu and ostriches for example?

    • TyB

      Correct. But the cassowary is more aggressive than its relatives, and has cooler weaponry. :D

  • thelotuseater

    Awesome list!!
    If I ever encounter any of these, I'm just going to drop kick the sky and hope my neck breaks.
    I, too, didn't know tapeworms would kill… Since they're a parasite, they're supposed to keep the host alive by taking on enough nutrients so that both survive. If they kill the host, they pretty much kill themselves.
    OR, I'm just wrong, probably the latter ^_^

    • TyB

      By the time the tapeworm kills you, you have probably released (via answering nature's call) many of its eggs into the outer world, ensuring the continuation of its genes. Mission acomplished for the adult worm.

  • Rachel

    isn't any way to be killed an awful way though?

    • whtknt

      Nah. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in abject terror, like his passengers!

  • kennypo65

    How about a list of most embarassing ways to be killed by an animal? Like tripping over the cat, falling down the stairs and breaking your neck. God, I hate cats.

  • victoriouswomen

    TyB,

    You have great pictures. With the exception of the Tape Worm, why are humans in the animal's space? Just a Thought. These are mostly wild animals driven by Fear of Man. Have you thought about people who die because their pets died? Some people really love their pets. That's another way an animal can kill a person.

    I love some animals from a distance. From a distance.

    I got the point. Thank you.

    Viivan Dixon Sober

  • Shlufi

    Great list, but there has never been a recorded wild wolf attack. . . Not good to add to their needless bad rep.

    • TyB

      Sorry but, wild wolf attacks do happen, and have happened since prehistoric times. Here's a nice website on the subject. I love wolves, but stating that they don´t attack people, is the same as saying that there has never been a wild bear, tiger or shark attack. Yes, the wolf's reputation is exagerated, but there is no doubt that they are potentially dangerous, as are all large predators out there. http://www.aws.vcn.com/wolf_attacks_on_humans.htm

  • Crocs and Alligators scare the bejeezes out of me. My dad was working in Florida, near the swamps, on Cape Canaveral, and he would tell us how the 'gators sounded just like big bull frogs.
    ~zip to many years later~
    I am in the Yucatan, staying overnight at a hotel on the beach. The hotel has no electricity, no phones. I need to call home and check in with my kids. So I ask at the dive shop next door.
    They tell me there is a phone at the American hotel about a mile down the beach, and to make sure, absolutely sure, that I walk as close to the surf line as possible the entire way there and back.
    O.K.
    It's pitch dark as I start to walk. The stars and moon are beautifully reflected on the ocean, but I can't see more than a few feet ahead of me.
    Then I notice there is a string of lights, right at ground level, way up the beach, lighting the sand all around and something dark behind.
    I'm wondering why the heck I'm stumbling around in the dark when there is a lighted path no more than 200 yards away. So off I go to take advantage of the light.
    I hadn't gone more than 20 feet when I heard that deep bull frog croaking!
    EEEEEEEKKKKKK!
    No wonder the dive shop guy had been so serious about my staying close to the surfline!
    I ran as fast as one can run in soft sand, sure a croc was right behind me.
    Obviously not.
    But on my return trip, I never strayed from the surf.

    BTW, TyB, now that you have included a snake in one of your lists, I can modify my previous comment.
    You do know something about all animals.
    :-)

    • TyB

      Yucatan has its fair share of Morelet's crocodiles (a species I worked with). Not as aggressive as American crocs or gators, but very dangerous if you go anywhere near their nests. (I had a scary experience with a female guarding her nest during an experiment to see how fast she would react to the call of her babies).

      As for snakes… pythons were in my list about animals once thought to be a legend :D Remember? They were the original dragons.

  • BadgerOfDeath

    Surprised that the Honey Badger isn't on the list. The way that Honey Badger gets you, is by ripping your testicles off.

    • TyB

      I did consider the Honey Badger but couldn´t find any info that confirmed the testicle ripping story. Perfectly plausible, tho.

  • FlameHorse

    I gotta put the Siafu ants at #1. That's a sucky way to go.

  • Great list. One small quibble: A boa (and other constrictors) don't squeeze tighter when the victims try to inhale. They squeeze tighter when the victims exhale and the lungs are smaller. All of these are horrible ways to die, however.

  • ArjayM

    I can't wait to hear this in podcast.

  • wildhalk

    an intriguing description of some of the lesser known fauna….a commendable job…!!

  • webmistress

    These are all awful and i`m sure we can think of a few more, but the worst of all is…being killed at all by an animal. Does'nt matter how you go, you still will have to take the final swan dive and you wont be able to tell any of your friends about it.

  • Top Kill

    Great great list. For me, the worst way to die would be a hanible type of kill. He opens your skull and cuts your brain, cooks it and feeds it to you. Imagine him doing this to your whole body until you die. Think local anaethesia. Think hanibo as the animal. Terrible.

  • gravyleg

    Questions re: #3;

    they feed on death fish? what is a death fish? did the author mean dead fish? why is the word 'rape' in the title? no mention of rape in the description. check your definitions, plz.

    #1. it's not the volts that get you, it's the amps.

  • guest

    I use to work at Australia Zoo (Steve Irwins one) and I was always more scared of the cassowarys than the crocodiles. Sure crocodiles are creepy as hell up close with their huge snapping jaws of teeth but as long as people stay away from their watery homes they will be fine. I could stare at those beautiful creatures for hours (behind a fence) and feel calm as a hindu cow. On the other hand I would always keep as far away from the cassowary enclosure. They are like giant clawed dinosourish ninja birds. They would kick the gashes into trees (target practice) and follow you along the fence line.

  • inismor

    -Is that a candiru in your anus???
    -Uhm yeah I… just fell over it.

  • Phill

    Candiru = TOOL OF SATAN!
    That's what Hell's going to be………….Stuck in a pool full of Candirus……………

  • Assuming that the writer of this list arranged the list in descending order, I disagree with the arrangement of the list. The hyena, sloth bear and/or jaguar should be first, with the candiru should be a very close second (being eaten/mauled alive is worse than dying from an infection, in my book). Nevertheless, this is a very interesting, if gruesome, list. :D

  • kortor

    It should be noted that during the 1800's,I belive.That tapeworms were a form of weight loss treatment ,where a doctar or someone would give you the tapeworms and then when you reached the desired weight you take a medicine that kills the worm.

  • kortor

    I do not remmber if this ture so dont hold me to it.I think anouther awful way to die by a animal is being pecked to death by a bird I belive a ostrage.I also think anouther horrilber way to be mauled to death by a polar pear,which there is a video of a victum a pear being riped apart; and fainliy also do not know if this is true but I think narwhals are know to impeal other creature when threatened.

  • naldo

    i'm only 10 but iwas going to make this list

  • kidfromvault101

    my mom say i haves tapeworn cause i eat so much and so skinny.

  • funkyredrum

    What about the Komodo dragon? Argh! Those suckers eat you inside out, via any orifice. Blah!

  • Rock Hunter

    These animals are pretty disgusting. I just read this article on the marine animals that have uniquely become oversized, monsters actually and they're downright dirty when it comes to self-defense. Read the interesting article here:
    <a href="http://monstersexposed.blogspot.com/2010/06/helloo.html
    ">Monsters of the Deep

  • ellen

    the rape happens only if you pee in the water,the fish thing likes warm water

  • isyourdogtalkingtoyourpainkillers

    im worried now because i am hungry

  • Julia

    What about Guinea worm syndrome or Dracunculiasis? It could be fatal

  • Mike

    The Candiru is real? I thought The Monarch was bluffing.

    Go team venture!

  • platypus5

    That is a pretty intense list.

  • WTF

    Scary stuff… I remember watching this Tyra Banks show about people wanting to ingest tapeworm eggs so they can be host to grown tapeworms in order to lose weight, you gotta be kidding me.

  • daneii

    ohh gawd, i approached a cassowary bird in a park because it was walking free. in that park they just left the cassowary bird to walk around and people are amused to look at it.. until it attacked… now it’s somewhere locked up.

  • Ironmistress

    One is missing:

    Lethal injection

    By certain jellyfish, like Chironex fleckeri.

  • sev

    This list made me all…shaky.

    Very good list.

  • silverkid1603

    Holy…crap :|

  • I did register but because of the site congestion/errors my Debit Card has 3 holds of 130 dollars on it. These Phantom Holds wont actually be charged to my account according to the registration page, but its still real money that is being withheld from me. If they want to keep the standards the same in the future, then they should probably have a lottery drawing for everyone. This way its at least fair for everyone trying to register.

  • Corinna

    The tapeworm is DISGUSTING! Eugh, I just.. I just can’t imagine having one of those in my stomach, OH PUKE. D:

  • sarbjit

    wow it was an interesting chapter . i loved to read it
    i liked the anacondas most

  • tealc

    there was a man in india that went away on vacation for 2 weeks, leaving his 7 dogs alone in the house with no food. 1 week after the man returned from vacation, the police were alerted to a strange smell coming from inside the mans house.

    detectives soon found the bones of the owner (serves him right) and sadly 1 of the pups.

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  • blackvenom8

    how about flesh eating maggot, miasis

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